How to apply to be a Rocker

iamstop

I’ve over 1000 posts now and am interested in becoming a Rocker. Does anyone know the best course of action to take? Do I contact an admin or even a boards.ie employee?
Many thanks

Ubbquittious

iamstop wrote: »

I’ve over 1000 posts now and am interested in becoming a Rocker. Does anyone know the best course of action to take? Do I contact an admin or even a boards.ie employee?
Many thanks

Buy an electric guitar first I suppose

1o059k7ewrqj3n

To be a rocker you have to pass the test.



What kind of rock is this?

Ninthlife

I also have over a 1,000 posts can I become something too

Urethral Buttercup

Long hair OP?

Your Face

Find a Marty.

Ted_YNWA

You have to be able to saddle a lot of responsibility.

Sardonicat

How long's your hair?

nullzero

Blue suede shoes and a dodgy ill fitting suit, tonnes of brylcreem and a motorbike and you're set. Leather jacket might be an idea too.

Sardonicat

nullzero wrote: »

Blue suede shoes and a dodgy ill fitting suit, tonnes of brylcreem and a motorbike and you're set.

No, that's a rock'n'roller. OP just wants to rock, not roll.

mrcheez

I've got 9000. I'm a goddamn hippy, screw you new age rockers.

iamstop

nullzero wrote: »

Blue suede shoes and a dodgy ill fitting suit, tonnes of brylcreem and a motorbike and you're set. Leather jacket might be an idea too.

Gets it.

Ninthlife

I wonder if my denim jacket from the late 80s early 90s with multiple sewn on Iron Maiden, GnR, Metallica and Anthrax patches would help my application

Leg End Reject

Ninthlife wrote: »

I wonder if my denim jacket from the late 80s early 90s with multiple sewn on Iron Maiden, GnR, Metallica and Anthrax patches would help my application

Only if you have the matching jeans.

Double denim or go home.

Sardonicat

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Only if you have the matching jeans.

Double denim or go home.

Don't forget your white socks!

Ninthlife

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Only if you have the matching jeans.

Double denim or go home.

Double denim plus 18 hole doc martins

Sardonicat

iamstop wrote: »

Gets it.

Pfft! You come here asking about becoming a rocker, and leave a Teddy Boy!

cj maxx

All you need ,iamstop, is a fcucking attitude and a healthy disrespect for rules. Then and only then can you begin on the rocky road to ...,...........

Sardonicat

Learn the fine art of flirting in the mosh pit. This is essential to be taken seriously. You don't want to hold back with the pushing and shoving but you don't want to send her to A&E, either. Careful with your elbows when flailing, also. Trust me, a shove in the shoulder can be an enticing invitation to a bit of a preliminary tussle, an elbow in eye not so much.

Deebles McBeebles

Sardonicat wrote: »

Learn the fine art of flirting in the mosh pit. This is essential to be taken seriously. You don't want to hold back with the pushing and shoving but you don't want to send her to A&E, either. Careful with your elbows when flailing, also. Trust me, a shove in the shoulder can be an enticing invitation to a bit of a preliminary tussle, an elbow in eye not so much.

Really gets it.

That sage advice above plus the ability to hang around central bank and TBMC should have you well on your way.

Sardonicat

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Really gets it.

That sage advice above plus the ability to hang around central bank and TBMC should have you well on your way.

But if he's gonna do that he's got to have enough hair to obscure at least half his face. If this isn't growing from the top of his head he must go bald and grow a long pointy beard. If this is the case he must be topless in the mosh pit. It's a fine and delicately balanced art....

JohnnyFlash

Ninthlife wrote: »

I wonder if my denim jacket from the late 80s early 90s with multiple sewn on Iron Maiden, GnR, Metallica and Anthrax patches would help my application

Pair that with bootcut jeans, heavy black boots, and a skullet hairstyle for the ultimate middle-aged rocker look.

Rufeo

Along with the naughty neighbours thread I was half expecting this to be sexy.

Oink

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Buy an electric guitar first I suppose

Eh no. You gotta pay your dues on the air guitar first. Look at Mark Knopfler. Skipped the air guitar, went straight for the real guitar. Now he’s all talent and no attitude. Loser.

Widdershins

Sardonicat wrote: »

How long's your hair?

If you can't sit on it, it's not long enough.

razorblunt

You have to throw your friend, Marty Jannetty through a barber shop window.

jimgoose

Piss-pot helmet, engineer's boots and big, flappy old-style leather gloves. You'll need to be astride an old British bike such as a Matchless, BSA, AJS, Norton, etc. - the BSA DBD34 Gold Star and Norton Manx are highly regarded, but akin to hen's teeth and very expensive - outfitted with clip-on 'bars down near the front spindle.

iamstop

I used to have really long hair. Eventually my friend convinced me to cut it off for charity. Raised over 1K for Barnardos.

https://www.barnardos.ie/

sbsquarepants

Widdershins wrote: »

If you can't sit on it, it's not long enough.

Does a hairy arse count?

IamMetaldave

Metallica/ GnR T-shirts bought in H&M don't count.

railer201

No need to apply, just get up the Mods' noses and by default you are a Rocker. :cool:

Montage of Feck

Steyr 556 wrote: »

To be a rocker you have to pass the test.



What kind of rock is this?

Sedimentary

iamstop

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Sedimentary

My dear Watson, Sedimentary.

Arghus

An aversion to letting your clothes dry properly.

Redneck Reject71

If you ever stood on the hood of a Chevy Impala,in your underwear singing Queen's Having a good time.That should just get you in,heh.

Bobblehats

iamstop wrote: »

I’ve over 1000 posts now and am interested in becoming a Rocker. Does anyone know the best course of action to take? Do I contact an admin or even a boards.ie employee?
Many thanks

Peatys

iamstop wrote: »

I’ve over 1000 posts now and am interested in becoming a Rocker. Does anyone know the best course of action to take? Do I contact an admin or even a boards.ie employee?
Many thanks

Stop showering now.

AllGunsBlazing

Far too many in this thread don't know the difference between a metalhead, a teddy hoy,
or a rocker.

Faded denim jacket and jeans with a Status Quo t-shirt and you're sorted. Thin Lizzy t-shirt also very much acceptable. Mk2 Ford Escort RS 2000 with CB radio installed if you're looking for top marks.

Anesthetize

How to be a rocker in 2020.

a) Middle-aged man
Don a Def Leppard tour t-shirt. Combine it with horrible bootleg jeans and a matching denim jacket
Make sure you have a beer belly. Bonus points for being bald.
Boast about how much better music was in the 80's, and how music today is crap. Even tough you haven't really heard any of today's music apart from what's in the charts.

b) 19 year old girl
Get a vintage Iron Maiden t-shirt. You don't have to know much about the band, just that the shirt goes well with those cool jeans you bought last week.

Sardonicat

Anesthetize wrote: »

How to be a rocker in 2020.

a) Middle-aged man
Don a Def Leppard tour t-shirt. Combine it with horrible bootleg jeans and a matching denim jacket
Make sure you have a beer belly. Bonus points for being bald.
Boast about how much better music was in the 80's, and how music today is crap. Even tough you haven't really heard any of today's music apart from what's in the charts.

b) 19 year old girl
Get a vintage Iron Maiden t-shirt. You don't have to know much about the band, just that the shirt goes well with those cool jeans you bought last week.

Someone's been crying themselves to sleep cos they were born two decades too late.

Anesthetize

Sardonicat wrote: »

Someone's been crying themselves to sleep cos they were born two decades too late.

I strive to be a), but I feel that my diverse taste in music is holding me back. Please help me.

Redneck Reject71

Anesthetize wrote: »

I strive to be a), but I feel that my diverse taste in music is holding me back. Please help me.

You just had to be there then, sorry but you just have YouTube now.

Ubbquittious

Oink wrote: »

Eh no. You gotta pay your dues on the air guitar first. Look at Mark Knopfler. Skipped the air guitar, went straight for the real guitar. Now he’s all talent and no attitude. Loser.

Now that ain´t working. That´s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV

Leg End Reject

Black eyeliner for the ladies, and lots of it.

Redneck Reject71

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Black eyeliner for the ladies, and lots of it.

And the puffy hair,heh.

Sardonicat

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Black eyeliner for the ladies, and lots of it.

Or no make up at all. Ever. Under any circumstances. Besides which, it's pointless, they're never gonna see your face behind all your hair. No one knew what I actually looked like for about 5 years (no jokes about considering taking up that look again to hide the old mush, please. You may think it but please don't say it)

Leg End Reject

Sardonicat wrote: »

Or no make up at all. Ever. Under any circumstances. Besides which, it's pointless, they're never gonna see your face behind all your hair. No one knew what I actually looked like for about 5 years (no jokes about considering taking up that look again to hide the old mush, please. You make think it but please don't say it)

Well, you could at least wash.

Sardonicat

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Well, you could at least wash.

I'll find you in the pit....

Leg End Reject

Sardonicat wrote: »

I'll find you in the pit....

We can sniff each other out.

Sardonicat

Anesthetize wrote: »

I strive to be a), but I feel that my diverse taste in music is holding me back. Please help me.

I'll help you by letting you know that anyone in a Def Leopard t shirt isn't and has never been a lover if rock music in any of it iterations as they weren't an actual rock band. Perhaps you should diversify a bit more?

Widdershins

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Black eyeliner for the ladies, and lots of it.

If you don't go through a bottle a day...