Shocked by long term partner’s actions

ITman88

Hi all, hope this is the right place for this but I’m really in need of some advice. It’s a long winded story so please bear with me.
I finished work early today and texted my girlfriend, of 10 years and who I live with, to say I would be late home because I was meeting friends in the local and not to keep dinner for me because I would stop in the chipper.
After a fantastic evening of great discussion with great friends, and about 8 Guinness, I stopped and got a lamb mix kebab and garlic chips which I devoured on the short walk home.
After arriving home I joined my girlfriend watching tv on the couch. It was at this stage I felt some stiffening in the groin, so after pointing it out to my OH we soon headed for the bedroom to get down to business, where we had some fun playing hide the sausage for a number of minutes. Afterwards we lay together talking and joking(I was feeling in good form up to that point).
It was at this point my girlfriend laughed and then farted, before saying something about the spaghetti she had earlier for dinner.
I can only say I was horrified, disgusted at her. It was the most horrific sound I ever heard, I was furious at her, and the juvenile excuse didn’t help, although I don’t think she detected my disgust.
She’s asleep beside me now, and I can barely look at her.
We have always had what I thought was a solid relationship, in fact I was thinking about proposing soon, she is the more successful career wise, and if I’m honest the better looking of us both, I went bald very young and have gained weight lately(although I am working very hard to change that). However after what happened this evening I’m thinking we need to seriously think about our future and I’m wondering if counseling may be an option for us.
Has anyone ever experienced anything similar with a partner and has anyone any advice?

Insect Overlord

Go'way and fuck off. :rolleyes:

faceman

You should have a baby. It will fix things.

Gonad

This reminds me of that movie










































Gone With The Wind

biko

4/10

Fann Linn

ITman88 wrote: »

Hi all, hope this is the right place for this but I’m really in need of some advice. It’s a long winded story so please bear with me.
I finished work early today and texted my girlfriend, of 10 years and who I live with, to say I would be late home because I was meeting friends in the local and not to keep dinner for me because I would stop in the chipper.
After a fantastic evening of great discussion with great friends, and about 8 Guinness, I stopped and got a lamb mix kebab and garlic chips which I devoured on the short walk home.
After arriving home I joined my girlfriend watching tv on the couch. It was at this stage I felt some stiffening in the groin, so after pointing it out to my OH we soon headed for the bedroom to get down to business, where we had some fun playing hide the sausage for a number of minutes. Afterwards we lay together talking and joking(I was feeling in good form up to that point).
It was at this point my girlfriend laughed and then farted, before saying something about the spaghetti she had earlier for dinner.
I can only say I was horrified, disgusted at her. It was the most horrific sound I ever heard, I was furious at her, and the juvenile excuse didn’t help, although I don’t think she detected my disgust.
She’s asleep beside me now, and I can barely look at her.
We have always had what I thought was a solid relationship, in fact I was thinking about proposing soon, she is the more successful career wise, and if I’m honest the better looking of us both, I went bald very young and have gained weight lately(although I am working very hard to change that). However after what happened this evening I’m thinking we need to seriously think about our future and I’m wondering if counseling may be an option for us.
Has anyone ever experienced anything similar with a partner and has anyone any advice?

That's Life.

NoviGlitzko

ITman88 wrote: »

has anyone any advice?

Go to bed and sleep it off mate.

Still waters

It's a nasty side effect of hiding the sausage in her arse

Sharp MZ700

Easy.

Just wait for the Guinness, lamb mix kebab and garlic chips to settle, treat her to a Dutch oven. Shell be livid she didn't think of it herself.

Ulysses Gaze

The quality of trolls on AH has really plummeted to new depths.

ITman88

ITman88 wrote: »

Hi all, hope this is the right place for this but I’m really in need of some advice. It’s a long winded story so please bear with me.
I finished work early today and texted my girlfriend, of 10 years and who I live with, to say I would be late home because I was meeting friends in the local and not to keep dinner for me because I would stop in the chipper.
After a fantastic evening of great discussion with great friends, and about 8 Guinness, I stopped and got a lamb mix kebab and garlic chips which I devoured on the short walk home.
After arriving home I joined my girlfriend watching tv on the couch. It was at this stage I felt some stiffening in the groin, so after pointing it out to my OH we soon headed for the bedroom to get down to business, where we had some fun playing hide the sausage for a number of minutes. Afterwards we lay together talking and joking(I was feeling in good form up to that point).
It was at this point my girlfriend laughed and then farted, before saying something about the spaghetti she had earlier for dinner.
I can only say I was horrified, disgusted at her. It was the most horrific sound I ever heard, I was furious at her, and the juvenile excuse didn’t help, although I don’t think she detected my disgust.
She’s asleep beside me now, and I can barely look at her.
We have always had what I thought was a solid relationship, in fact I was thinking about proposing soon, she is the more successful career wise, and if I’m honest the better looking of us both, I went bald very young and have gained weight lately(although I am working very hard to change that). However after what happened this evening I’m thinking we need to seriously think about our future and I’m wondering if counseling may be an option for us.
Has anyone ever experienced anything similar with a partner and has anyone any advice?

Congratulations. You just got added to about 50 ignore lists and should any boardsie ever meet you in person they will just look at you with disdain and pity.



I could feel sorry for you. But I don't.

Ulysses Gaze

Ulysses Gaze wrote: »

The quality of trolls on AH has really plummeted to new depths.

To be fair, this is about the best "worst troll ever".

Sardonicat

ITman88 wrote: »

Has anyone ever experienced anything similar with a partner and has anyone any advice?

Yes, I fart and my OH does too. As do you,. I'm surprised you didn't fire yer missus into orbit after the concoction you consumed earlier in the evening. You must be trumping all night as you sleep and she's finally let rip in a revenge attack.

Have a fart off. Winner buys the next kabab.

5uspect

Blast her with piss?

furiousox

Offload the contents of your bowels on her face as she sleeps.
If she wakes up, scream "NOT SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT BITCH??!!" in her smelly face.
(Make sure you hide all the towels first so she's forced to clean herself off with the bedroom curtains or her favourite dress.)

fonecrusher1

Wait till she's asleep. And do a little poo on her.

NoviGlitzko

OP



Boardies right now

Sharp MZ700

furiousox wrote: »

Offload the contents of your bowels on her face as she sleeps.
If she wakes up, scream "NOT SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT BITCH??!!" in her smelly face.
(Make sure you hide all the towels first so she's forced to clean herself off with the bedroom curtains or her favourite dress.)

That's just rude, why call someone names when you're sh1tting on their face?

KungPao

I laughed. Utterly ridiculous.

Peatys

Get out now while you can

Peatys

Peatys wrote: »

Get out now while you can

Nobody will stop him.

Noodles81

I've no doubt it was load and noisy. A 10 year old baked fart will be after all. She has my utmost admiration. Get a ring on it asap old boy and you may not hear another til the 10th anniversary.

Raconteuse

Long *winded* - I see what ya did there!

PsychoPete

Cee-Jay-Cee

So your a fat ugly bald guy and you have a good looking successful girlfriend who farted in bed and now you’re considering your future!

Yes you should dump her now and save her the punishment of being lumbered with a fat bald ignoramus who doesn’t appreciate what he has. Let her find someone who deserves her as you don’t, baldy.

Only a lard-arsed, neck-bearded Mitty writes the sort of tripe the OP comes up with.

8 pints and a ride? More like a glass of milk before mammy tucked you in for the night, followed by a furious **** into your sock while thinking about your auntie Mary.

Put the phone down and go to sleep now. You have school in the morning.

Ave Sodalis

Ulysses Gaze wrote:

The quality of trolls on AH has really plummeted to new depths.

Worse still, I'm fairly certain this isn't the first time I've seen this post.

ITman88

Appreciate all the non confrontational replies so far, some are light hearted which I do enjoy, some are more serious highlighting I may be over reacting which is also perhaps valid.

What is staggering and frightening is the aggression in some of the replies. I’m shocked. Being told to F of by a mod, someone talking about incest and neck beards, wow.
If I see a thread that Iv nothing constructive to add to I simply don’t comment, anyhow I’ll rethink things in the morning

fonecrusher1

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Wait till she's asleep. And do a little poo on her.

You lack imagination. Remember the movie Intermission? Bring her to a hotel, handcuff her to the bed and do a dump on her chest. Then leave her there. For a few days.

fonecrusher1

Poo.

tylercheribini

So obviously a troll post but it and some of the responses did actually have me in stitches, so much so I actually let rip.

wiggle16

Have you checked her phone, OP? Xx

ITman88

ITman88 wrote: »

Appreciate all the non confrontational replies so far, some are light hearted which I do enjoy, some are more serious highlighting I may be over reacting which is also perhaps valid.

What is staggering and frightening is the aggression in some of the replies. I’m shocked. Being told to F of by a mod, someone talking about incest and neck beards, wow.
If I see a thread that Iv nothing constructive to add to I simply don’t comment, anyhow I’ll re-reg in the morning

FYP.

8 pints, a kebab, a ride.... and you expect anyone to believe that happened and you’re now here on boards instead of fast asleep, snoring and dribbling on yourself?

My hole.

gozunda

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

Worse still, I'm fairly certain this isn't the first time I've seen this post.

Dejah pooh?

IAMAMORON

I want my 60 seconds back please.

ITman88

JayZeus wrote: »

FYP.

8 pints, a kebab, a ride.... and you expect anyone to believe that happened and you’re now here on boards instead of fast asleep, snoring and dribbling on yourself?

My hole.

Finished work early so 8 pints over an extended time period, a kebab and a ride as you so eloquently put it.
Is it that unbelievable, FYI I don’t snore

Notdeco

ITman88 wrote: »

Finished work early so 8 pints over an extended time period, a kebab and a ride as you so eloquently put it.
Is it that unbelievable, FYI I don’t snore

Admit it, you are a 14 Year old virgin. Only a 14 year old, or a troll would post this smelly sh1te

ITman88

Notdeco wrote: »

Admit it, you are a 14 Year old virgin. Only a 14 year old, or a troll would post this smelly sh1te

Thanks for grown up response mate. Hope ya have a great Christmas

Notdeco

ITman88 wrote: »

Thanks for grown up response mate. Hope ya have a great Christmas

Thanks, you too. hope santa brings you all the presents you asked for.

fonecrusher1

Can't you just have a talk about it and let her know how you feel? Seriously.






But stick to your poo plan you mentioned.

ITman88

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Can't you just have a talk about it and let her know how you feel? Seriously.






But stick to your poo plan you mentioned.

I think your right.
She’s in work at 5am tomorrow but before she goes I’ll tell her we need to talk at the weekend

thecowgoesmoo

Go to a car garage and instead of inflating your tyres shove the pump up your arse blow some air in there. Now you'll be able to fart in her face for the night like a machine gun. I find having the pump going in your arse for around 5 minutes will give you eight hours of solid flatulence.

Peatys

ITman88 wrote: »

I think your right.
She’s in work at 5am tomorrow but before she goes I’ll tell her we need to talk at the weekend

No amount of talking can change what she did. If you back down on this you'll always be the underdog in this sham of a relationship.

Don't think, don't rethink.. leave.

q85dw7osi4lebg

One of the better troll posts to be fair

smilerf

Wind up merchant
Will ya ever **** off

Potential-Monke

We need pics. Depending on what she looks like, she could probably play the Trombone in my mouth with her farts.

NSAman

I think the chocolate down the panties would be called for here,,,,

Especially while she’s sleeping!

Potential-Monke

NSAman wrote: »

I think the chocolate down the panties would be called for here,,,,

Especially while she’s sleeping!

Oh, good idea! Let her think her simple fart was a bit more:

mfceiling

You're fat and bald.....buddy you're lucky to have a girlfriend.

rtron

Op a have read your post to the bitter end can only say how sorry I am to hear of this terrible event. And for all of this to happen so near to Xmas.
My only advise is to run from this relationship as soon as possible. This could have been me writing this post a number of years ago however that marriage has now ended and my new girlfriends have all sworn they will never fart while we are together and I truly believe them.
There is light at the end of tunnel op...

jester77

ITman88 wrote: »

Hi all, hope this is the right place for this but I’m really in need of some advice. It’s a long winded story so please bear with me.
I finished work early today and texted my girlfriend, of 10 years and who I live with, to say I would be late home because I was meeting friends in the local and not to keep dinner for me because I would stop in the chipper.
After a fantastic evening of great discussion with great friends, and about 8 Guinness, I stopped and got a lamb mix kebab and garlic chips which I devoured on the short walk home.
After arriving home I joined my girlfriend watching tv on the couch. It was at this stage I felt some stiffening in the groin, so after pointing it out to my OH we soon headed for the bedroom to get down to business, where we had some fun playing hide the sausage for a number of minutes. Afterwards we lay together talking and joking(I was feeling in good form up to that point).
It was at this point my girlfriend laughed and then farted, before saying something about the spaghetti she had earlier for dinner.
I can only say I was horrified, disgusted at her. It was the most horrific sound I ever heard, I was furious at her, and the juvenile excuse didn’t help, although I don’t think she detected my disgust.
She’s asleep beside me now, and I can barely look at her.
We have always had what I thought was a solid relationship, in fact I was thinking about proposing soon, she is the more successful career wise, and if I’m honest the better looking of us both, I went bald very young and have gained weight lately(although I am working very hard to change that). However after what happened this evening I’m thinking we need to seriously think about our future and I’m wondering if counseling may be an option for us.
Has anyone ever experienced anything similar with a partner and has anyone any advice?

How is that going for you?