The Funeral Director (RTE 1)

FrancieBrady

Bredabe wrote: »

I've never seen that palm lined grave before, is that local to Sligo only?

No, you would see it regularly in Monaghan as well. A child's grave would be lined with seasonal flowers. The practice of family and friends digging the grave as an 'honour' thing is common in rural parishes too. A lot of people would see that as a privilege.

farmchoice

FrancieBrady wrote: »

No, you would see it regularly in Monaghan as well. A child's grave would be lined with seasonal flowers. The practice of family and friends digging the grave as an 'honour' thing is common in rural parishes too. A lot of people would see that as a privilege.

my son died as a baby, he died in a Dublin hospital and we brought him back to mayo to be buried. my wife and i drove down from dublin with his little white coffin sitting on the backseat of the car.
we didn't have a funeral just a burial, immediate family and a priest. but when we got to the grave yard we discovered my aunt and cousin had come and lined the insideo f the grave with white roses, it looked so beautiful ill never forget them for it.

maudgonner

Was trying to think of the word earlier to describe this and it's just come to me: Intimate.

It's overused a lot of the time when talking about TV, but this is definitely an intimate doc, with David McGowan and with the dead.

Icsics

maudgonner wrote: »

Was trying to think of the word earlier to describe this and it's just come to me: Intimate.

It's overused a lot of the time when talking about TV, but this is definitely an intimate doc, with David McGowan and with the dead.

That’s exactly it & so seemingly effortlessly told. Almost a gentle unfolding of the story for the audience, amazing job

FrancieBrady

farmchoice wrote: »

my son died as a baby, he died in a Dublin hospital and we brought him back to mayo to be buried. my wife and i drove down from dublin with his little white coffin sitting on the backseat of the car.
we didn't have a funeral just a burial, immediate family and a priest. but when we got to the grave yard we discovered my aunt and cousin had come and lined the insideo f the grave with white roses, it looked so beautiful ill never forget them for it.

Almost an identical story here except it was family member's child. I was asked to help with the grave. To this day I will never forget her big, burly, rough as... uncle gently weaving in flowers to the side of the grave. Her parents never forgot it either.

Mollymawk

My father died four years ago, and we were fortunate enough to have David as our undertaker. He was so kind and respectful, professional but warm. I never figured out if he knew Dad in life or not, but he made us feel as though he did. I will be eternally grateful to him.

Seeing the way he prepared the deceased for their funeral in the documentary last night made me cry like a baby, but left me strangely happy and at peace to think that Dad got such personal and dignified care. I had blanked that bit out, assuming it was just a cold and gruesome business.

We have very healthy traditions around death and grieving in this country. Long may they survive, in the custody of men like this.

larko

Did anyone find it nice when the murmeration of birds flew towards the camera when the hearse was going by. I hope so and not just edited to make it look like a sign. I found it uplifting

HildaOgdenx

Mollymawk wrote: »

My father died four years ago, and we were fortunate enough to have David as our undertaker. He was so kind and respectful, professional but warm. I never figured out if he knew Dad in life or not, but he made us feel as though he did. I will be eternally grateful to him.

Seeing the way he prepared the deceased for their funeral in the documentary last night made me cry like a baby, but left me strangely happy and at peace to think that Dad got such personal and dignified care. I had blanked that bit out, assuming it was just a cold and gruesome business.

We have very healthy traditions around death and grieving in this country. Long may they survive, in the custody of men like this.

Absolutely beautiful programme.

We all need someone to take charge when bereavement hits us.
'Now facing me, arms around shoulders, and on your left foot, are we all okay...'

Such a kind, caring and respectful man.

I'm glad that we take death, in our stride, so to speak, in Ireland.
I remember my grandparents funerals, for example. There was no question of us as young children, not seeing them laid out, or anything like that. It was just a natural thing to do.
I think it taught us to accept the 'circle of life' and to respect the traditions we have around death. Similar to previous posters, I would be well familiar with the grave digging and preparation of the grave being done by neighbours, and so on.

Beautifully done, and utmost respect to all involved in the making of this programme.

That was a brilliant programme and it completely caught me off guard .
I was watching it out of interest and because the trailer looked good .

But it touched a nerve . My daughter died age 5 . We had been so caught up with her illness (which was unexpected) that we ever thought beyond that : to her death and her funeral. The morning after she died we found ourselves in the undertakers choosing a coffin. We were numb and unprepared. We hadn’t a clue and said “yes” when the undertaker suggested a coffin. It was teak I think (brown).
To this day I regret it . She was so small , she should have been in a white coffin. We just never thought . At the church during her funeral it struck me ........and at a few children’s funerals I’ve been to over the years. I know in the long run the colour makes no difference .....but it’s always bothered me.


We were just so shocked (and young) we needed guidance that day in the undertakers . Looking at that lovely kind empathetic man on The Funeral Director I cried . I was wishing we had someone like that back then to advise and help us . Long time ago now but that program brought a lot back . Well done RTÉ on a great production.

allybhoy

Watched it last night on the reccomendation of this thread, wasnt expecting much but was a really lovely little program. My wifes father died last year and she found it very emotional but also very comforting.

On a side note, does anyone know whats happening with his glampng venture? Nothing on the website etc, presume its planning permission related. Hopefully he gets it sorted id say it would be a resounding success

HeidiHeidi

I thought that was the loveliest programme. I only accidentally caught it - had no real intention of watching it, and never made the connection from the trailers that he was also the glamping man!


He's the sort of character that could so easily have come across as a total cute hoor or chancer - but he couldn't have been portrayed more differently. I'd imagine everyone who saw it would want him to look after their or their loved ones' funeral.


Our parent died this year, not exactly unexpectedly, but even so you're launched into a process that happens quite quickly and that you've (usually, and hopefully) no experience of, all the while dealing with the bereavement. You absolutely need someone to step in and take control - but you're so open to being taken advantage of, it's scary really - he was just brilliant, like a comfort blanket. That soft west of Ireland accent helped!!


On another note entirely, I thought embalming was not allowed here any more??? Because of the poisons or chemicals leaching into the ground? Maybe I imagined that (I must have) but I could have sworn I heard that years ago.

AndrewJRenko

larko wrote: »

I always wanted to know about cremation. I'm glad I saw that

It was good to see it, but honestly, it was a bit off-putting for me to see him scraping the bones out of the kiln. It was my default option before, but now I'm just a little hesitant.

itac

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

It was good to see it, but honestly, it was a bit off-putting for me to see him scraping the bones out of the kiln. It was my default option before, but now I'm just a little hesitant.

I was actually the opposite watching that scene; I thought that shot of the coffin, then the bits of bones was bizarrely beautiful.
I'd always assumed the ashes you got back were coffin & person mixed, but it was strangely reassuring to know that when we scattered my Aunt's ashes, it was pretty much 100% her that drifted around us and settled on the lake, the trees, and a little bit on to us.
It made her suddenly feel so much closer several years on, as some of her ashes drifted into the fabric of my bag. It's really nice to think that she's still traveling with me wherever I go.

generalgerry

I clicked on this thread thinking it was for the Late Late Show tonight.

farmchoice

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

I thought that was the loveliest programme. I only accidentally caught it - had no real intention of watching it, and never made the connection from the trailers that he was also the glamping man!


He's the sort of character that could so easily have come across as a total cute hoor or chancer - but he couldn't have been portrayed more differently. I'd imagine everyone who saw it would want him to look after their or their loved ones' funeral.


Our parent died this year, not exactly unexpectedly, but even so you're launched into a process that happens quite quickly and that you've (usually, and hopefully) no experience of, all the while dealing with the bereavement. You absolutely need someone to step in and take control - but you're so open to being taken advantage of, it's scary really - he was just brilliant, like a comfort blanket. That soft west of Ireland accent helped!!


On another note entirely, I thought embalming was not allowed here any more??? Because of the poisons or chemicals leaching into the ground? Maybe I imagined that (I must have) but I could have sworn I heard that years ago.

he made the point in a radio interview that it is not really embalming anymore that is just a word people are familiar with, its a different process with different chemicals, same end result though.

RhubarbCrumble

itac wrote: »

I was actually the opposite watching that scene; I thought that shot of the coffin, then the bits of bones was bizarrely beautiful.
I'd always assumed the ashes you got back were coffin & person mixed, but it was strangely reassuring to know that when we scattered my Aunt's ashes, it was pretty much 100% her that drifted around us and settled on the lake, the trees, and a little bit on to us.
It made her suddenly feel so much closer several years on, as some of her ashes drifted into the fabric of my bag. It's really nice to think that she's still traveling with me wherever I go.

I've posted this before, but if anyone wants to see exactly what happens at a cremation, have a look at this (only about 10 minutes long)

WARNING: In case anyone may find it distressing, you do see the coffin going in, you do see it burning and you do see the remains go into what they call the 'pulveriser' at the end. It shows a lot more detail than was shown on the programme the other night.
Just to let people know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEOqq3z2rbc

Stratvs

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

It was good to see it, but honestly, it was a bit off-putting for me to see him scraping the bones out of the kiln. It was my default option before, but now I'm just a little hesitant.

I had wondered myself ( probably chould have YouTube'd it but never thought to) whether it was bits of coffin & bones etc. that you got back and that part actually made me more comfortable as my preferred way to go. I've no problem with scraping the bones out of the kiln, I don't think I'll mind at that point.

It was a beautifully shot documentary. I've mentioned it to several people and those who saw it agreed and those who hadn't plan to do so.

solerina

Fantastic documentary, parts were hard to watch but it was well worth watching, Dougie was amazing.

waxmelts2000

Watched it this afternoon,shed quiet a few tears but a fantastic documentary .

alchemist33

David's buried a few of my relatives and will bury a few more. He's always been so good and I'm glad to see that came across. I also enjoyed seeing so many familiar places.

The glamping site has to happen now with Dougie there.

screamer

Thought it was grim, switched it off, enough sad stuff in the world to depress me without this type of thing.

padjocollins

thought it was worth the rte licence fee even if they only broadcast the angelus next year

spurious

What a beautiful programme.

Philo62

screamer wrote: »

Thought it was grim, switched it off, enough sad stuff in the world to depress me without this type of thing.

Nothing sad about this documentary, we all die only question is when. Absolutely brilliant documentary, the happiness this man was bringing to people in their hour of need was amazing. The interactions between him & Dougie will not leave me for some time. More of this RTÉ instead of late late & all that other rubbish & u can justify licence fee all day long.

Sunny Dayz

I only got around to watching this last night. I can only echo what others here have said - a very well made program. I'm not great with death, I'm by my nature quite an emotional person and cry easily. My experience of funerals and death has been largely that it's sorrowful, mourning, quiet. Most funerals are in a funeral home, then to church then to graveyard - quite solemn. But having experienced funerals in Donegal where my other half is from - it's different. It's more matter of fact, they are waked at the house so there is a lot of people helping out, there is chatting, tea and sandwiches, more chat, stories, photos and reminiscing. It's a nice way to see someone off.


I found the cremation a bit interesting - I never knew what was involved. I've only ever been to one cremation and unfortunately that was in recent months, so a little hard to watch.

Atlantic Dawn

Watched this tonight after seeing David and his daughter on with Tommy Tiernan earlier, such a powerful show, never knew so much went on behind the scenes to make the deceased presentable. Love the Irish way of doing funerals, was at some rural ones a few years back where the neighbours digged the graves and took it as a big honour to be asked to do it. Irish wakes are great, the sooner things get back to normal the better.

Gadgetman496

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Watched this tonight after seeing David and his daughter on with Tommy Tiernan earlier, such a powerful show, never knew so much went on behind the scenes to make the deceased presentable. Love the Irish way of doing funerals, was at some rural ones a few years back where the neighbours digged the graves and took it as a big honour to be asked to do it. Irish wakes are great, the sooner things get back to normal the better.

Where did you watch it? Is it still on the player?

Atlantic Dawn

Gadgetman496 wrote: »

Where did you watch it? Is it still on the player?

Had it recorded from December 2019 , not sure if it's up on the RTE Player or not.

Edit, yes it's on...
https://www.rte.ie/player/movie/the-funeral-director-s1-e1/118399528355

Gadgetman496

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Had it recorded from December 2019 , not sure if it's up on the RTE Player or not.

Edit, yes it's on...
https://www.rte.ie/player/movie/the-funeral-director-s1-e1/118399528355

Watched it when it originally aired and thought it was brilliant. Have searched the usual off track places trying to get hold of a copy of it but it never showed up. Will definitely watch it again.