what would a reasonable contribution be?

afterglow

hi all
Just wondering please, living with family, in a room that isn't really a bedroom, and on a fold-up-bed, what would be a reasonable amount to offer? I know I live there, and obviously need to contribute, but just wanted a ball-park for what might be reasonable to offer in the way of a contribution
Thanks in advance

RacoonQueen

I would say about 400? Do you contribute to bills? buy your own food?

afterglow

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I would say about 400? Do you contribute to bills? buy your own food?

when I pay whatever I'm going to, then everything will be included, my contribution to shopping, bills, etc
I'm not going to be working for now, but going to apply for my benefits, blind pension and the others I can get, once I get my bank account sorted, which should be later this week, also just waiting to hear about my registration with the NCBI, which I need to apply for benefits. So not paying anything just yet
Appreciate your input, just good to get an idea

zerosugarbuzz

afterglow wrote: »

when I pay whatever I'm going to, then everything will be included, my contribution to shopping, bills, etc
I'm not going to be working for now, but going to apply for my benefits, blind pension and the others I can get, once I get my bank account sorted, which should be later this week, also just waiting to hear about my registration with the NCBI, which I need to apply for benefits. So not paying anything just yet
Appreciate your input, just good to get an idea

What is your relationship with the family member, is it a parent, sibling etc? What is their financial situation and are they happy to have you living with them? All these factors are important. For long term success everyone needs to feel they are being treated fairly. If you are staying long term maybe NCBI could sort you out a bed, that fold up will do your back no favours.

horse7

I would recommend at least a 30% minimum up to a 50% maximum of your total income.

lesliescott586

Are you in a comfortable living situation. Maybe your first two months rent could go on some basics like a bed frame and a mattress. I think 150 pm is the max you should pay if you’re on social welfare. You need money to live and enjoy life, and to save for things like holidays/birthday and the future.

afterglow

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

What is your relationship with the family member, is it a parent, sibling etc? What is their financial situation and are they happy to have you living with them? All these factors are important. For long term success everyone needs to feel they are being treated fairly. If you are staying long term maybe NCBI could sort you out a bed, that fold up will do your back no favours.

hi
Parent my other siblings live there also, and they pay €70 pw
I'm at my grandparent's till after christmas, so have a bed to sleep on, for now

afterglow

lesliescott586 wrote: »

Are you in a comfortable living situation. Maybe your first two months rent could go on some basics like a bed frame and a mattress. I think 150 pm is the max you should pay if you’re on social welfare. You need money to live and enjoy life, and to save for things like holidays/birthday and the future.

no real money no. no savings etc

splinter65

Is it a local authority/hap house? If so then your presence will mean that the rent will go up.
Your income will be €203 blind pension and €60 blind welfare allowance.
You need to consider €30 per week for rent and a further €20 for electricity and heating and bins. Are you going to grocery shop for yourself ? Will you be relying on them to use their car?

afterglow

splinter65 wrote: »

Is it a local authority/hap house? If so then your presence will mean that the rent will go up.
Your income will be €203 blind pension and €60 blind welfare allowance.
You need to consider €30 per week for rent and a further €20 for electricity and heating and bins. Are you going to grocery shop for yourself ? Will you be relying on them to use their car?

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

hawley

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

If you are trying to save to get your own place I'm sure they'll understand if you can't afford to give too much. It depends on how much money the people running the household have. Fifty is quite a small amount of money, if you can stretch to seventy you should.

zerosugarbuzz

Have you asked your parent what they would like you to pay? I would not like to be in a position that I had to move back in with my parents or family. If I did I personally would contribute a bit more than was expected to ensure they knew I was grateful for them helping me out. What do you think yourself? People are guessing in the dark here.

zerosugarbuzz

Sorry just saw your reply saying €50. What does your parent think of that and why so low?

splinter65

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

Without knowing the circumstances of the other occupants of the house, what the outgoings are (what is an average monthly heating bill for them, what is their average monthly electricity bill, how much do they pay for TV/phone/broadband package, how much for bins, how much per week for groceries all of which you will enjoy)then it’s impossible to estimate what your contribution should be.
I wouldn’t consider €70 too much myself considering you will have €263 per week income.

afterglow

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

Have you asked your parent what they would like you to pay? I would not like to be in a position that I had to move back in with my parents or family. If I did I personally would contribute a bit more than was expected to ensure they knew I was grateful for them helping me out. What do you think yourself? People are guessing in the dark here.

I am grateful, course I am
I think my mum would be happy with the same as the others pay, €70 pw.

Graham

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

€50 per week would likely mean the other occupants of the house are subsidising you. While that's not unusual for someone living with a parent, only you/they will know if that's going to work.

afterglow

splinter65 wrote: »

Without knowing the circumstances of the other occupants of the house, what the outgoings are (what is an average monthly heating bill for them, what is their average monthly electricity bill, how much do they pay for TV/phone/broadband package, how much for bins, how much per week for groceries all of which you will enjoy)then it’s impossible to estimate what your contribution should be.
I wouldn’t consider €70 too much myself considering you will have €263 per week income.

yes actually. I didn't realise I'd have that much, so that will be fine, perhaps even a little more than that

AulWan

You should at least match what your sibling is paying.

€70 per week for all your living costs including food from a tax free income of €263 is not a lot to pay.

Princess Calla

afterglow wrote: »

I am grateful, course I am
I think my mum would be happy with the same as the others pay, €70 pw.

Will she expect 140 when your sisters baby is born? From your sister obviously. Or will your sister still pay 70 after the baby despite using facilities (washing machine, dryer,hot water) probably 3 times more than the rest of you.

I remember your personal issues thread and seriously if you can stay with your grandparents please do. I know your parents don't want you doing that but a cotbed seriously isn't a long term solution, nor is living with a baby that's not your own ( I say that as someone who shared a room with a sister and her newborn)

afterglow

Princess Calla wrote: »

Will she expect 140 when your sisters baby is born? From your sister obviously. Or will your sister still pay 70 after the baby despite using facilities (washing machine, dryer,hot water) probably 3 times more than the rest of you.

I remember your personal issues thread and seriously if you can stay with your grandparents please do. I know your parents don't want you doing that but a cotbed seriously isn't a long term solution, nor is living with a baby that's not your own ( I say that as someone who shared a room with a sister and her newborn)

i would imagine it will still stay the same if I'm honest. I would like to stay here, but who knows

afterglow

AulWan wrote: »

You should at least match what your sibling is paying.

€70 per week for all your living costs including food from a tax free income of €263 is not a lot to pay.

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

riclad

30 or 40 euros, you are on a low income .its good to offer something.

afterglow

riclad wrote: »

30 or 40 euros, you are on a low income .its good to offer something.

of course!
It would be completely out of order/unreasonable, to expect to live there without rent/bills
The idea of just paying one amount of money, and having everything included, is quite exciting to me, that's how I know I'm getting old I think!
thanks

Tiddlypeeps

afterglow wrote: »

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

Is it because of perceived fairness that you think you should pay less or do you have some other financial obligations you need to use the rest of your income for?


70 a week really is very little to cover rent, bills and food. There are many out there that moved back home and are paying more to the household and get much less in return. Unless you legitimately can't afford it then I wouldn't push it, regardless of what anyone else in the house is paying or how much they earn.


If you can't afford it because of other financial obligations then you should discuss it with your mother, but don't frame it as being about what anyone else pays or what they earn, frame it about what you earn and what your current expenses are and hopefully she will accommodate.

AulWan

afterglow wrote: »

point taken, but both my sister&brother work, and earn a lot more than I do. And I'm not on benefits for no reason either.

One of my adult children stayed at home for a while when they were on benefits and 70 euros would barely cover the cost of having another adult to feed in the house. Unless you intend to cook and feed yourself separately? Take cold showers? Do your laundry at a launderette? Turn the heating off when you're at home alone? It all costs.

Don't be mean. Your parents are making room in their home for you. They don't have to do that.

jlm29

afterglow wrote: »

the house itself, isn't rented.
No I won't shop for myself, just whatever money I give will include bills, shopping, etc. €50 pw would be fine, i just think €70 is a little bit much, only because I'm not working

You’re not going to be any cheaper to keep just because you’re not working. In fact, you’ll make their heating, electricity and food bills etc higher because you’ll be at home more.

Princess Calla

Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

AulWan

This is not about a percentage of earnings.

My adult child was on disability allowance too. Its 203 euro per week, and the OP will also have an additional allowance of 60 euro blind pension, so will not be short of money.

We're talking about 10 euro a day for all their needs, including all their food, heat, and a roof over their head. Anything less is just stingy, frankly.

Show me anywhere else they could live for so little.

bertsmom

Gosh €70 is very very little for a grown adult to contribute to a household. If you are receiving over the €200 mark I would at least offer €130 or so

SusanC10

OP - without needing to go into details, how is your Mum financially? Is she comfortable or could she do with the money ? Because personally I do feel that matters.

I have a sister who has always lived with my parents and now my Mum only and in on Disability. She does not and has never paid anything nor should she in the opinion of our entire family as my Mum is very comfortable and does not need it. My Mum, I think, would find it odd to take money from her in their circumstances.
The rest of us have all lived at home as adults for various reasons and various lengths of times both as students and working and our parents would not take a penny.

I would personally also find it strange if I were living with parents and working full-time and was paying the same as my sister who had a disability.

afterglow

SusanC10 wrote: »

OP - without needing to go into details, how is your Mum financially? Is she comfortable or could she do with the money ? Because personally I do feel that matters.

I have a sister who has always lived with my parents and now my Mum only and in on Disability. She does not and has never paid anything nor should she in the opinion of our entire family as my Mum is very comfortable and does not need it. My Mum, I think, would find it odd to take money from her in their circumstances.
The rest of us have all lived at home as adults for various reasons and various lengths of times both as students and working and our parents would not take a penny.

I would personally also find it strange if I were living with parents and working full-time and was paying the same as my sister who had a disability.

Hi
Comfortable is not a word I would use to describe her no.

afterglow

Princess Calla wrote: »

Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

think sister earns 28000 PA brother, I'm not sure. But her rent is even a smaller percentage than what I'd pay

Tiddlypeeps

afterglow wrote: »

Hi
Comfortable is not a word I would use to describe her no.

Percentages and all that are only relevant if the parent is asking for a contribution out of principal. Since your mother is not flush with cash and she is asking for so little it doesn't sound like that is what she is doing. She is likely asking for just enough to cover the extra costs of having you and your siblings in the house.

claregal1

My 19 year old son lives at home with me , he works full time and he contributes 50 a week to the household ..
I have younger brothers and sisters living at home with my parents and they also contribute 50 a week each.

Plumbthedepths

50 euro a week is a ridiculously low amount of money to give a week to cover food, utilities and the accommodation.

splinter65

Princess Calla wrote: »

Infairness though both brother and sister are working full time jobs.

The sister is pregnant so bringing another person into the house while presumably still only paying 70 euro. She will also be on maternity leave so using much more electricity and food than before as she will be in the house all day. (the father of the child lives in another country so it's not as if she'll be spending time in his house either)

The OP has a disability, is on disability allowance. I'm all for equal rights n all but jesus Christ abit of compassion from your parents would be nice!

What % is 70 euro from their full time salaries and what % is 70 euro from a disability allowance?

€70 isn’t even 1/4 of his income. Very few adults get to keep 3/4 of their income to spend as they want.
I think €70 is the minimum he can expect to contribute. What has compassion got to do with it? The house has to be maintained, heated, electrified, the bins emptied, tv, telephone broadband, groceries have to be bought, clothes need to be washed, dried ...all these things have to be paid for and everyone living in the house should have to contribute.

jlm29

OP, if you get €263/wk, and give your mother €50 for bills and food, you’ll have €213 a week to spend on whatever you like. €193 of you give her €70. It’s an awful lot of disposable income. I work full time on a good wage, and I wouldn’t have it.

Princess Calla

splinter65 wrote: »

€70 isn’t even 1/4 of his income. Very few adults get to keep 3/4 of their income to spend as they want.
I think €70 is the minimum he can expect to contribute. What has compassion got to do with it? The house has to be maintained, heated, electrified, the bins emptied, tv, telephone broadband, groceries have to be bought, clothes need to be washed, dried ...all these things have to be paid for and everyone living in the house should have to contribute.

No I get what you are saying. I never actually gave a figure. Personally I think 70 euro on face value is fine.

However I think taking the full picture into consideration including the fact that their siblings pay the same, have their own rooms and presumably a proper bed in said rooms while the OP gets a cotbed in a room that's not a bedroom. Then add on to the fact that the sister is pregnant and bringing another person into the house and still only paying 70 euro.

The compassion part for me is if one of my children were disabled I would be doing my best to make their lives a little easier.

Now I appreciate financially they may need every cent which if that's the case once the baby arrives the sister should be contributing more.

AulWan

The pregnant sister's income while on maternity benefit will be lower then the OP's, unless she is topped up by her employer (thats if she has enough contributions to qualify for maternity benefit). Plus she will have a dependant going forward. I would not expect her to pay less with a newborn, but I would not expect her to pay more then her sibling. Once she goes back to work, she will have childcare costs on top.

This is a minefield for parents of adult children living at home, the easiest way to navigate it without creating resentment between the siblings is for everyone to pay the same rate.

Princess Calla

AulWan wrote: »

The pregnant sister's income while on maternity benefit will be lower then the OP's, unless she is topped up by her employer (thats if she has enough contributions to qualify for maternity benefit). Plus she will have a dependant going forward. I would not expect her to pay less with a newborn, but I would not expect her to pay more then her sibling. Once she goes back to work, she will have childcare costs on top.

This is a minefield for parents of adult children living at home, the easiest way to navigate it without creating resentment between the siblings is for everyone to pay the same rate.

As far as I can remember the sister is in her 30s so I'd assume she has paid enough contributions for full maternity benefit.

AulWan

Princess Calla wrote: »

As far as I can remember the sister is in her 30s so I'd assume she has paid enough contributions for full maternity benefit.

Which at max is €245 per week, unless topped up.

The OP is also in her thirties.

amadangomor

Why not sit down with your family and calculate how much it costs to run the household - mortgage payment, utility bills, tv, internet, local propety tax, Tv licence etc and food that everyone avails of and divide it equally?

If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.

afterglow

amadangomor wrote: »

Why not sit down with your family and calculate how much it costs to run the household - mortgage payment, utility bills, tv, internet, local propety tax, Tv licence etc and food that everyone avails of and divide it equally?

If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.

I'm sure they are, I know that's what they pay, as I asked
maybe I could give my mum a little more, or put a little extra in an empty account, which I have, then give it to her at the end of the year or something, then she can do something nice for herself. She wouldn't be expecting it at all either

Princess Calla

"amadangomor wrote: »

If your mother is not flush your other siblings are getting away with murder paying 70 euro a week.

That was a point I was trying to make, rather badly I admit.

Princess Calla

afterglow wrote: »

I'm sure they are, I know that's what they pay, as I asked
maybe I could give my mum a little more, or put a little extra in an empty account, which I have, then give it to her at the end of the year or something, then she can do something nice for herself. She wouldn't be expecting it at all either

I'm confused now, I thought 70 was too much, now you're talking about throwing her extra??

Plumbthedepths

Princess Calla wrote: »

I'm confused now, I thought 70 was too much, now you're talking about throwing her extra??

Genuine question but do you think, 70 euro is enough for food plus all utilities and accommodation for a week?.

If I thought I could get a sweet deal like that I would happily move back with my folks.

Princess Calla

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Genuine question but do you think, 70 euro is enough for food plus all utilities and accommodation for a week?.

If I thought I could get a sweet deal like that I would happily move back with my folks.

Personally no I don't. I think it's a very sweet deal. Which is why I'd imagine her sister is still living there and bringing another generation into the house.

That said the OP is on disability allowance and doesn't have a bedroom just a makeshift area with a cotbed. I'd be abit peeved if I was paying the same as my siblings when they had privacy of their own bedroom and a proper bed. Even in house share scenarios rent is usually dependent on if room is double /single / twin etc.

Also if it were me living at home and I got pregnant I'd be saving like mad and throwing my mam extra when the baby arrived.

When I said I was confused, it was because the OP thought 50 euro was enough now she's talking about more than 70??

Don Joe

OP, if you're interested in being any way fair to your mother, minimum 100 a week. Still leaves you with 145 a week pocket money whatever.

As others have said, majority of working people dont have that much free per week to spend on themselves.

Minimum, 100eur. Be fair.

afterglow

Princess Calla wrote: »

Personally no I don't. I think it's a very sweet deal. Which is why I'd imagine her sister is still living there and bringing another generation into the house.

That said the OP is on disability allowance and doesn't have a bedroom just a makeshift area with a cotbed. I'd be abit peeved if I was paying the same as my siblings when they had privacy of their own bedroom and a proper bed. Even in house share scenarios rent is usually dependent on if room is double /single / twin etc.

Also if it were me living at home and I got pregnant I'd be saving like mad and throwing my mam extra when the baby arrived.

When I said I was confused, it was because the OP thought 50 euro was enough now she's talking about more than 70??

i do think its unfair, just because I'm on benefits, and like you say, I don't have the privacy of my own room. The door, is glass for crying out loud! In the room where I'll be sleeping. People have made me feel mean though. If I had my own proper room, I'd have no problem paying €70 or even a little more, but its because the others are working, and have their own rooms, I don't feel €70 is fair. if my sister moved out, and I had her room, then I'd have no issue paying more rent every week. Its a nice space with a proper door, not a glass one that people can see through. Not that there's anything I wouldn't want people to see, its just principal, if that makes sense

Don Joe

afterglow wrote: »

i do think its unfair, just because I'm on benefits, and like you say, I don't have the privacy of my own room. The door, is glass for crying out loud! In the room where I'll be sleeping. People have made me feel mean though. If I had my own proper room, I'd have no problem paying €70 or even a little more, but its because the others are working, and have their own rooms, I don't feel €70 is fair. if my sister moved out, and I had her room, then I'd have no issue paying more rent every week. Its a nice space with a proper door, not a glass one that people can see through. Not that there's anything I wouldn't want people to see, its just principal, if that makes sense

Stop comparing.

If you don't think a bed at night, a roof over your head, food, heat is worth 100eur a week, I suggest trying elsewhere and seeing how "unfair" the world is then

AulWan

I am almost sure the OP said on another thread that she would be sharing a bedroom with her sister, but I am open to correction on that.

I'm sure the sister would prefer other living arrangements as well.