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How late is it acceptable for the bride to arrive at the church?

  • 23-11-2019 7:57pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,532 ✭✭✭


    Any more than 20 minutes is taking the piss in my view.

    I'm tied of waiting at churches for 40 or 50 minutes for the bride to arrive.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,696 ✭✭✭Lisha


    I’d have said 15 mins. Once waited 65mins total piss take imho


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    No amount of time is acceptable. It's now considered normal, it's almost expected. You hear people ask was the bride on time, to her own wedding! I don't get it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Subacio


    My wife was 35 minutes late for ours.

    Twas a good job too. My family got lost on the way to the church and were 25 minutes late themselves.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,316 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    I'm tied of waiting at churches for 40 or 50 minutes for the bride to arrive.
    I arrive early. But I know they'll be late.

    I think I was in a church for close to 90 minutes before the thing started!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    I know a lot of punctual brides who were forced to arrive late because the guests were all late, lots because the added traffic to the church. Its not always the brides fault if there's a delay.

    Also, it's easy to be delayed on your wedding day, you'll know by what the bride and groom put out at the reception if they're considerate hosts IMO.

    I've better things to be worried about then a late bride :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,523 ✭✭✭Sonny noggs


    I usually get up and leave if left waiting for more than 15 minutes past the posted start time. I also knock EUR 50 off the gift for the inconvenience caused.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭missmatty


    We had our wedding in one venue and I was delayed going downstairs for the ceremony for nearly half an hour while they dug people out of the bar, I thought it was funny and didn't mind at all. I remember waiting for one cousin's bride for nearly an hour and traffic wasn't an issue, I think being late is really rude to your guests.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    One minute late is too much. Courtesy dictates a timely arrival. Imagine being the next couple??!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    We waited in a freezing church for 50 mins once. And another time I waited 45 mins while heavily pregnant even though the ceremony was in the same venue as the reception. No idea why anyone thinks that's OK.
    We had our ceremony time on our invites at 3pm. I walked up the aisle at 3.01pm. I told everyone I would be on time.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    We were determined to be bang on time for ours, we ended up 15 minutes late because nobody told us everyone was seated. We told our bridal party to text us when we could come down from our room, nobody did, we ended up ringing them to see what was wrong and they were like “nothing we were just waiting for you!” Raging we were, we were sitting upstairs ready and raring to go!!!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 149 ✭✭GDK_11


    Can’t quite understand anyone deliberately turning up late to their own wedding (traffic, photographers running late etc, no issue). When I got married the wife arrived at the scheduled time, she knew I was nervous enough anyway without standing up the aisle like a plank for half an hour. Shows a pretty poor attitude to the groom and the guests.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭Heres Johnny


    It's an absolute pain in the hole waiting. It's so narcissistic on the brides part. It's my day, I'm going to make you all wait and build suspense. I'm getting married next year and if she tries that **** and isn't there on time I'm going for a few pints with my brother and friends and age can wait on me.
    Disclaimer :Probably won't happen but I don't see the difference apart from some rubbish old tradition.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,274 ✭✭✭✭The Nal


    Waited an hour once and then the ceremony was 90 minutes. Was in the church for well over three hours all in.

    I think its inconsiderate to have long ceremonies in in churches. So boring and I find the whole thing really weird.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,411 ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    10 minutes. That is the only acceptable length of time for anyone to be late in ANY situation (baring exceptional circumstances of course). You don't get a pass because it's your wedding day :P

    I'll be telling everyone that I'll be bang on time on my day!! If anyone else is late, I'll be going ahead without them. No sneaking in once it's started, see you at the reception.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    I've only been to one wedding where the bride was more than about 10 mins late. In all those instances (bar the one) the "lateness" was them sitting outside the church in the wedding car, waiting for the last few stragglers to take their seats.

    I was bang on time to mine - told everyone beforehand I didn't care if they were ready or not, I wasn't hanging round. Once my husband and parents were there that was good enough for me.

    One bride kept us waiting well over an hour, in a roasting Greek church in the middle of August. There was no air conditioning and one of the aunties fainted and had to be carried out. We all assumed there had been some crisis because the church was literally across the road from the hotel, so it's not like they had a car and the driver got lost or stuck in traffic. No crisis, just sitting up in the room drinking champagne while her guests all died of heat stroke and her groom almost had an anxiety attack.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    I remember the driver of my wedding car being horrified that I was ready to go on time because he thought I should be late. I think we ended up arriving on time, but there were still a few stragglers arriving so we took some pictures outside first. I think I probably walked down the aisle about 10 minutes late in the end.

    I’ve been a bridesmaid for a wedding where we were about 30 minutes late, but there was a really long drive from the bride’s house and she wanted to get ready at home but change into her dress at the venue rather than sit in it for the whole drive, and I think it took her way longer to get into it than she had planned. That whole day ran really late, because they also had SO MANY really long speeches, and we’d all run out of booze by the end of the first one :rolleyes:. I think it was close to 11pm when they finally had their first dance.

    But I too have sat in cold, drafty uncomfortable churches for an hour while we waited for a bride to arrive, and it’s bloody infuriating. Especially, as others have said, you’re then forced to sit through a long and boring mass. I remember a friend of mine getting so bored waiting for a bride that he was just sitting there on Tinder!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,005 ✭✭✭BDI


    How many weddings do you people attend?

    I feel trapped in a church. I don’t want to be in there for one moment more than I have to be. I’d probably leave if the bride was ten minutes late and sometimes I sneak out at the end if nobody will notice.

    I also sometimes turn up at funerals, greet the family and give cards or flowers then when everybody follows the coffin into the church slow to the back of the que and jump in the car and head off.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,748 ✭✭✭corks finest


    TBH wish to f**k my wan never arrived


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    Excepting guests to be happy for you to be fashionable late is one of the reasons I refuse to attend the church part of a wedding.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,106 ✭✭✭✭elperello


    You might show some consideration for the celebrant, servers and sacristan.
    The wedding party are there for the day out but they have other things to attend to.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,537 ✭✭✭ldy4mxonucwsq6


    I have been at a few weddings where the bride was over an hour late but have found the norm is about 45 mins (most the ceremony was in the venue so no excuse really she was already in the building).

    I arrived 5 minutes late for my own, had to ask everyone standing outside talking to go in ahead of me. I should have kept driving........

    I hate getting wedding invitations these days and have declined three in the last year. They are an expensive pain in the a*se, couldn't be bothered unless it's someone close.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 706 ✭✭✭tiredblondie


    Mine was at 3.30 in the hotel (i was staying there the night before too)
    It was 3.40 when i walked up the aisle - i was ready at 3 and pacing up and down waiting for the coordinator to call me down.
    Turns out, the celebrant was late, he didn't show up until 3.30 on the dot and there had been some panic going on as to where he was!
    No one told me about it (thank god!) but i hated being late!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 706 ✭✭✭tiredblondie


    elperello wrote: »
    You might show some consideration for the celebrant, servers and sacristan.
    The wedding party are there for the day out but they have other things to attend to.

    My celebrant was the reason i was late!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 159 ✭✭dubbrin


    elperello wrote: »
    You might show some consideration for the celebrant, servers and sacristan.
    The wedding party are there for the day out but they have other things to attend to.

    Drove my friend to the church for her wedding. The priest said that if she was late he'd leave and there would be no wedding. I think he gave a 5 minute tolerance, but was quite serious about it. I was on the ball with everything and we were 3/4mins late, not noticeable.

    Great result, the church is the boring bit anyway!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    My celebrant was the reason i was late!!

    I don't think that poster cares who is responsible, I think they just want to blame 'Bridezillas', very common on Boards!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,274 ✭✭✭✭The Nal


    BDI wrote: »

    I also sometimes turn up at funerals, greet the family and give cards or flowers then when everybody follows the coffin into the church slow to the back of the que and jump in the car and head off.

    Excellent strategy sir.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,430 ✭✭✭bladespin


    My wife arrived early, caught us a little off guard, esp the priest, her parents live about 1/4 miles away from the church so they could have walked up and been on-time, I do know one local priest who tells couples during the walk-through that anything more than 20 mins and it'll be called off until any other business has been attended to, be it wedding, funeral etc, I like his style.

    MasteryDarts Ireland - Master your game!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭Digs


    The general seems to be 10/15 mins. Think I was 10 mins late for my own. I was at the church on time but the photographer was faffing about.

    I waited for a bride for 1hr10 mins on Stephens Day in an absolutely Baltic church and everyone was extremely miffed, not least the priest but the poor groom was really getting antsy. Set an odd tone for the day. It was very unfair. She was coming from her parents house five mins away aswell.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,203 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    I remember intentionally arriving late to the church as a guest- a good 20 mins. The bridal party pulled up at the exact same time and we were desperately trying to hide from the cameras etc while walking in at the same time.

    The church service is boring as fcuk anyway- it's an ordeal. Nobody likes it and anyone who says otherwise is a big fat hairy liar.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Apiarist


    I think 10-15 minutes late would be ideal. Gives some time for the groom to stand comically alone and for late comers to find their places. After that people start chatting too loudly and get bored.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,348 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    lazygal wrote: »
    We waited in a freezing church for 50 mins once. And another time I waited 45 mins while heavily pregnant even though the ceremony was in the same venue as the reception. No idea why anyone thinks that's OK.
    We had our ceremony time on our invites at 3pm. I walked up the aisle at 3.01pm. I told everyone I would be on time.

    Sometimes I wonder are you me!!

    Also waited 45 minutes in a cold church once. It was ridiculous and no one could hide their annoyance. I don't like to be late and told everyone I would be on time for our 3pm ceremony. I was a couple of minutes late (because my parents in law met me on the way in) and I was there before a few people.

    If people want to go with the tradition of the bride being late I would say more than 15 minutes is a p!sstake


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,203 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    One of my pet hates in life generally is being made to wait around. It drives me insane and I will not tolerate it.

    My time is not less precious than yours.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,559 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Typical self indulgent tosser behavior.

    Weddings really bring out the worst in some women.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    I'm aiming to be on time for our ceremony - I've scheduled an hour to get from the house to the church, which is a 30 minute drive, so hopefully even if there is traffic we'll be fine. If we get there early we could just loop around a few times. I don't want to be rushed taking photos afterwards; also if I was an hour late we'd have to pay overtime to the musicians who will be playing at the ceremony.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,301 ✭✭✭Gatica


    I wanted to be on time, especially as the ceremony was on site. However, my helping hands forgot and disappeared, and it took me awhile to get a hold of them to help me into my dress. Ended up being half hour late...

    Was at a freezing church too once waiting for 1.5hrs! I dunno if something had happened though to make them late.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Gatica wrote: »
    I wanted to be on time, especially as the ceremony was on site. However, my helping hands forgot and disappeared, and it took me awhile to get a hold of them to help me into my dress. Ended up being half hour late...

    Was at a freezing church too once waiting for 1.5hrs! I dunno if something had happened though to make them late.

    What would you have done if you had booked a registry office appointment ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,301 ✭✭✭Gatica


    splinter65 wrote: »
    What would you have done if you had booked a registry office appointment ?

    Probably worn a dress I could zip up myself


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,732 ✭✭✭Mollyb60


    I had pre-warned everyone that I would be on time for my wedding but I still had to go out to the bar and shout at people to get into the room so we could come in. I was raging at them. We were both ready hours before the wedding but got most of the photos done before the ceremony so we wouldn't have to spend time doing it after.

    At a wedding in Sicily over the summer (in July) the invite said it was at 2 and when we arrived we were told it's actually at 2.30. Then the bride was about 30 minutes late so we were all sat for over an hour in the stifling hot church with no AC. I genuinely thought I was going to pass out it was so hot and airless.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 503 ✭✭✭poteen


    10 - 15 mins. 15 max. Arriving on time can be a bit awkward as most people just arrive on time expecting the bride to be a few minutes late. I was at a wedding in the summer where the bride was on time. The church was only half full as she walked up. When walking down the aisle after, the church was nearly full. Depends what you want but making a point of being on time might taint the brides intro.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I think being a little late is good because there are almost always stragglers amongst the guests. People often get lost on the way. That buffer of time is a good thing, IMO. But I think anything more than fifteen or twenty minutes is starting to take the michael.

    I’ve never really noticed late-arriving brides. I’m always busy chatting to other guests. Once seated in the venue, I don’t really clock-watch. The whole day is devoted to attending the wedding so I’ve nowhere else to be.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    woodchuck wrote: »
    10 minutes. That is the only acceptable length of time for anyone to be late in ANY situation (baring exceptional circumstances of course). You don't get a pass because it's your wedding day :P

    I'll be telling everyone that I'll be bang on time on my day!! If anyone else is late, I'll be going ahead without them. No sneaking in once it's started, see you at the reception.

    I don’t think you can stop people entering after you, can you? Certainly not from churches anyway.

    Seems mean to exclude somebody who might be late. They could have a good reason.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 217 ✭✭noveltea


    My priest was late for mine. It was initially suppose to be at 4pm but he rang and asked me to move it to 3.30 so i did and at 3.25 just as i was outside church , we got a phone call he was running late and arrived at 3. 50 ish, so everyone thought i was late and not him.


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