Is it normal to hate your appearance?

mr_fegelien

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

Professor Genius

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

Squeeze your spots and get braces.

punisher5112

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

This is actually quite common but obviously don't be trying to read into it too much.


Is there anything you could do to help improve yourself that you would be happy....

Dentist could well be able to help and skin could well be helped by a skin specialist....

Sharp MZ700

You'll always look better if you smile and laugh with the person in the mirror ! It's brilliant, and very contagious.

punisher5112

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

You'll always look better if you smile and laugh with the person in the mirror ! It's brilliant, and very contagious.

Mine always tells me to burn them.... Burn them all.

BDI

Looks fade. I was never really bothered but never really had any odd features.

Not when you're good looking.

punisher5112

I see dead people....

wakka12

I wouldnt say its normal, no, especially if it occupies your thoughts very often. Being uncomfortable with how you look will have many other negative impacts on your social well being and how you interact with people among other effects that go far beyond just disliking what you see in the mirror. Its important to be at peace with how you look, or else try to work to improve it, if thats feasible (like weight loss maybe), so yeah, actively 'hating' how you look I would say isnt normal (though it may well be common) or healthy.

Is it normal? Maybe. I don't know if I know anyone who hates their appearance but I can see how someone might dislike how they look.

Perhaps it's important to ask whether it's reasonable. If yes, then is there something that can be done. If No, then is it diminishing your qualifity of life.

If yes, seek professional help or counselling. If not, then happy days.

punisher5112

I hate mirrors, you never know what's behind them...

Lesalare

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

Hey, that's really sad to hear you feel so bad about your appearance. Am sure you are overthinking it.

Everyone is insecure about their looks. No matter how good looking someone is.

Bad skin and bad teeth can be fixed. What do you hate about your teeth and such?

Junkyard Tom

Tammy!

Op there's always someone better looking than you! I've good teeth naturally, good skin I suppose but prone to psoriasis type conditions, was always very self conscious especially as a kid! Never compared myself though. I'm happy enough but then Im probably considered a conventionally alright looking girl - doesn't mean I havent had ****! Ohhh I had that..have had **** over being 'good looking' or not being good enough!

Anyway I joke with my husband, when we go into my local, and the men's heads turn (not being big headed) but if we arrive with my younger and much prettier sister in law, I'm practically invisible! It's just the way things are. You have to let your personality shine through and...

You know there's nothing worse than someone harping on about how you look all the time....it's the equivalent of the stereotypical Does my Bum look big in this?

kowloon

Professor Genius wrote: »

Squeeze your spots and get braces.

Yeah, don't do that too much.

blinding

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

Ah , Your Grand .

punisher5112

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Blue steel

JupiterKid

Everyone has a degree of insecurity about their appearance, whether they are conventionally good looking or plain or unattractive. It could be about their face, their height, weight (a very common one), teeth, etc.

We live in a world where the media and advertising and film/TV bombards us constantly throughout our lives with their image of the “ideal” person, good looking, athletic, perfect teeth, the supermodels and Hollywood actors - if anything with the rise of the cult of celebrity and the Internet over the past 25 years it has got even worse. People naturally strive to meet this unrealistic so-called “ideal” and compare themselves unfavorably and unhappiness results. This has been blamed on the huge rise in eating disorders among women for instance.

Just look at how the cosmetic surgery industry is absolutely booming. There are things people can do to improve their appearance such as regular exercise, eating healthy, weight loss, dressing well but it is critical to learn to love yourself and develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence.

It is said that good self-confidence is a very attractive feature to other people.

Tammy!

punisher5112 wrote: »

Blue steel

It's so funny though that Blue Steel has actually become the norm.

People don't smile for photos anymore!!

punisher5112

Tammy! wrote: »

It's so funny though that Blue Steel has actually become the norm.

People don't smile for photos anymore!!

No they get Botox for that

kowloon

JupiterKid wrote: »

Everyone has a degree of insecurity...

It is said that good self-confidence is a very attractive feature to other people.

But too little of the former and too much of the latter makes for a ****ty person.

punisher5112

Tammy! wrote: »

I don't know I'm 36, I don't feel the 'need' as emmet****ingspiceland would say...I remember a neighbour of mine getting Botox around the early/mid 2000's and it was considered crazy!! Like wtf is she doing but I think it's the norm now? Not for me anyway!!

Only have to look at the likes of tulisa whom was awarded sexiest woman alive one year....

She looks now like she was dragged through a barbed wire fence backwards and stamped over by a ton of cows....

Potential-Monke

Define normality...

Imo, as long as you're not trying to follow the latest fashion trend, and letting the people who make the fashion products tell you what products you should use/wear (clothes and toiletries) and you're doing your own thing, then that's all that matters. Too many sheeple in this world, be unique!

Also, some features you may want to change for yourself, but you should only do it for yourself if you really want to, not because someone else told you to or suggested it.

I'd love to get rid of this bit of a belly, but I like food too much, so it's part of me now, and I've grown to love it. I'd imagine it's how an expectant mother feels about her baby bump, except I have a slightly higher chance of not letting said bump ruin my life!

Your Face

I don't hate my appearance in the mirror or am I self-conscious about it, but I don't like photos of myself.
Don't like having them taken and don't like seeing them.
Maybe it's because it contronts the denial.

Peatys

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

You're just not your type.

mr_fegelien

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Define normality...

Imo, as long as you're not trying to follow the latest fashion trend, and letting the people who make the fashion products tell you what products you should use/wear (clothes and toiletries) and you're doing your own thing, then that's all that matters. Too many sheeple in this world, be unique!

Also, some features you may want to change for yourself, but you should only do it for yourself if you really want to, not because someone else told you to or suggested it.

I'd love to get rid of this bit of a belly, but I like food too much, so it's part of me now, and I've grown to love it. I'd imagine it's how an expectant mother feels about her baby bump, except I have a slightly higher chance of not letting said bump ruin my life!

For me, it's more an issue of my skin colour. I'd like to whiten it.

I have the opposite problem. I can't stop checking myself out in every car window I pass.

Tammy!

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I have the opposite problem. I can't stop checking myself out in every car window I pass.

When I was a teenager, my pal was seeing this bloke and he'd check out every single thing or anything that would give a reflection!!

Every time we'd call in for him, he do a quick glance and toss his hair at the mirror in the hallway. My friend and I would laugh whenever he'd do it but he was completely oblivious to why we were laughing.

Bobblehats

I’d recommend you stay occupied and keep out of the mirrors gaze. Cavemen weren’t confronted by their reflection at every turn and led wholly productive lives! Look at what happens when you hand a primate a mirror everything stops for this newfound preoccupation. Unless he has a psychotic reaction and smashes it of course

Church on Tuesday

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

You'll always look better if you smile and laugh with the person in the mirror ! It's brilliant, and very contagious.

Hi Arthur Fleck!

spurious

Not sure what age the OP is but caring what anybody else thinks of what you choose to do or not do, or how you look is an affliction that usually goes in your 30s.

Actually 'hating' how you look is putting it quite strongly and I would think not normal.

Dial Hard

mr_fegelien wrote: »

For me, it's more an issue of my skin colour. I'd like to whiten it.

That's without the bounds of "normal" insecurity and something that might benefit from some counselling, imo.

Tbh, OP, I think counselling is something you should strongly consider anyway. It's clear from your posts on this and your previous account that you have a lot of challenges and I think working on them with a professional would be a huge help.

Bobblehats

Dial Hard wrote: »

That's without the bounds of "normal" insecurity and something that might benefit from some counselling, imo.

I foresee huge problems with that down the line if it’s not kept in check. A bigger player though can be the “crowning glory” I once heard a teen what say messed up hair hair = messed up life, he felt it was spiralling out of control but parent that wishes the best for their child will hope that they can overcome this.

robman60

I felt bad about skin acne until I finally researched it myself and told the doctor what prescription to give me. It really annoyed me that I had been given ineffective antibiotics for two years prior to that which were never going to resolve my issue.

Nowadays, I am far more content being just how I am. I 'care' about my appearance only insofar as I try to exercise, stay in shape etc, but I don't ever wish I was any other way, even though I know I'm not attractive per se. I just figure I look quite average and I'm fine with that. I think it's been a big part of growing up.

PennyWiseClown

I don't mind seeing myself in a mirror, but hate when I see a photo of myself from the side, it just looks fecking surreal!

Redneck Reject

PennyWiseClown wrote: »

I don't mind seeing myself in a mirror, but hate when I see a photo of myself from the side, it just looks fecking surreal!

I hate seeing photos of myself as well.The amount of greying hair I have shocks me everytime,heh.

fattymuatty

spurious wrote: »

Not sure what age the OP is but caring what anybody else thinks of what you choose to do or not do, or how you look is an affliction that usually goes in your 30s.

Actually 'hating' how you look is putting it quite strongly and I would think not normal.

I agree with this. I'm in my early 30s and tbh I never even think about what other people think of me. I have a husband, kids, a busy job, a puppy that is refusing to house train and a million other things to keep me occupied that I just don't have the head space to give to what other people may think of me.

I also don't notice how others look. I'd never think look at that ones teeth or hair or skin or whatever. I've been out and about all day today and I couldn't tell you anything about anyone I saw. I did see a gorgeous weimaraner though.

Cee-Jay-Cee

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I've always thought that most people have one thing about their body that they're insecure about but apparently it's not normal to look in the mirror at disgust to your face. I have bad skin and bad teeth so I never smile and always hate looking at any windows/mirrors in public. There seems to be a disconnect to the person I "wish I am" in my mind and the person I see in a mirror.

Anyone else like this?

No...only you, spotty.

daveorourke77

I'm not happy with the way I look. However, there is nothing about the way I look that can't be changed without a little exercise.

What I really hate about myself is the way I sound. I hate my voice and wish I could change it.