Do you fear public speaking?

mr_fegelien

Might have to give a 10 minute speech in December this year for my course and dreading it a bit. Anyone give speeches regularly?

Salary Negotiator

Yes and I hate every single one of them.

8-10

Yes I do it regularly.

Best advice I have is film yourself doing it and watch it back. You'll see that what other people see isn't as bad as what you feel in terms of nerves.

Tips:

Pick 3 or 4 people only in the audience for eye contact and randomly rotate between them

Get your volume up, the louder you speak the less likely you are to have voice waiver or stumble, and you'll sound much more assertive

Practice a stance where your feet are planted and arms loosely at your sides. Don't hold anything as you'd be tempted to figit.


It's not as bad as you think it is. If you feel rush of blood to the head with nerves that's natural and can be overcome - you won't faint - it's the opposite of what fainting is even though it feels like you will.

Practice it over and over, know your content and you'll be fine. It's a very very common fear. Best of luck with it!

mr_fegelien

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Might have to give a 10 minute speech in December this year for my course and dreading it a bit. Anyone give speeches regularly?

Know your stuff. You will be nervous for the first minute or so but then you will calm down.

Dial Hard

Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

If you're genuinely terrified, go to a few Toastmasters meetings. Also, as others have said, record yourself and use that to polish your delivery. And always, always, always speak twice as loud and twice as slow as you think you need to.

Waiting is the worst part. Once you're speaking you'll be fine, and you'll feel like a legend afterwards.

Nigel Fairservice

I'm a quiet person and I like keeping to myself but sometimes things come up and you will just have to make a speech or say a few words. I'll do it but I don't like it too much. Did some presentations in college, one or two for work, a best man's speech and the eulogy at my mother's funeral. As I got older I realised that most people felt the same way about public speaking as I did. I think there's goodwill on people's part when it comes to saying a few words, most people just want you to get through it as painlessly as possible. I think you always think your own perceptions of what you've said are worse than everyone else's. You'll say your bit, sit down and it's over.

KaneToad

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Might have to give a 10 minute speech in December this year for my course and dreading it a bit. Anyone give speeches regularly?

Yep.

10 mins will fly. Prepare before hand. Write out exactly what you are going to say. This includes your introduction & conclusion. A strong, confident opening and closing in a 10 min speech will carry you through it.

Then practice it - this means saying it out loud. Condense your script into bullet point notes, repeat exercise of saying it out loud using the notes.

Speak slowly and don't be afraid to pause to gather your thoughts. A couple of seconds of silence is better than filling it with umms and ehhhs.

You'll ace it.

mr_fegelien

Yamanoto wrote: »

Assuming you're ok to take it, Propranolol or other beta-blockers will sort you out OP.

Ah, yes thought I was the odd one out for taking stuff for anxiety. Propranolol I'm assuming is less addictive than benzodiazepaines?

I also take risperidone which is an adrenergic antagonist so I feel dampened anxiety but still feel it to an extent.

spurious

As above, ten minutes will fly. Get your timing right and do not worry if you go a bit over time in practice. You will more than likely go quicker in the real thing.

The thing to remember is, everyone else in your course is going to have to do this. I guarantee you a number of them will watch your presentation and do nothing but worry about their own throughout yours. I would suggest try volunteer to be second or third. Get yours over with and enjoy watching the others with the pressure off you.

It would be a very poor course would not make allowances for people's anxieties regarding speaking in public, but honestly, people are generally more concerned about themselves in these situations.

Be prepared. Practice words you might stumble over. Insert some humour if you can. Catch the eye of two or three of the audience and move your gaze between them and a spot on the back wall.

Really, it will not be as bad as you think. You can do this.

Earthhorse

No.

Like anything if you just prepare for it you’ll be fine.

Yamanoto

Depending on your associated levels of anxiety, it may be worth considering a beta-blocker.

For all the rational and constructive advice given above, sometimes the body overrules the mind and physical manifestations of nervousness take control and end up compoundung the problem - sweats, palpitations and a vocal tremor being the most common outward signs of a fear of public speaking.

ChikiChiki

I don't fear public speaking at all. Have done it numerous times and delivered well. That's with a purpose as it's part of work so I'm focused on the job at hand.

Now when I walk into a busy bar it's a different story. My social anxiety is through the roof and can crippling.

Seems like a contradiction, does anyone have the same?

LionelNashe

I'm unaccustomed to it.

freshpopcorn

I can be okay at it and then I can be terrible at.
It depends on who's in the room.

YFlyer

Have 2 double whiskeys 20 minutes beforehand and you be grand.

votecounts

Used to be nervous at first but now no bother as I have to do it numerous times a year as part of my job at conferences, presentations to clients, etc.
You'll not think about it twice after the first few.

Nigel Fairservice

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I can be okay at it and then I can be terrible at.
It depends on who's in the room.

Definitely. With college/work ones you're generally familiar with the people in attendance (in my experience of them anyway). I'd find it more difficult to do in a social setting where I might not know everyone there.

_Brian

Not so much any more.
It’s hard but with practice it gets easier.


Best advice I can give is when your practicing speak it out loud. So many people read and read their speech but when they say it out loud it sounds different and puts them off immediately.

Loafing Oaf

Sorry no helpful advice but someone was bound to quote this...

Yamanoto

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Ah, yes thought I was the odd one out for taking stuff for anxiety. Propranolol I'm assuming is less addictive than benzodiazepaines?

Use of beta-blockers has long been widespread and commonplace among those with levels of performance anxiety in business & the arts (where it's use among symphony players, actors and stand up comedians is well documented).

Propranolol is a beta-blocker with as many contraindications as you may expect, but physical addiction is not a factor. Psychological dependence can be.

Your Face

I don't mind giving speeches but I hate doing presentations.

EmmetSpiceland

Once you know your stuff there’s no reason to be afraid of “public” speaking.

Thankfully, in times when I haven’t, I’ve been able to “wing” it, this is where a lot of people seem to fall down.

freshpopcorn

Nigel Fairservice wrote: »

Definitely. With college/work ones you're generally familiar with the people in attendance (in my experience of them anyway). I'd find it more difficult to do in a social setting where I might not know everyone there.

I'd be okay with people from work or strangers but I'd struggle more with sone family and friends.

blackcard

Loafing Oaf wrote: »

Sorry no helpful advice but someone was bound to quote this...

Even if you make a balls of your speech, people will empathise with you as they realise that public speaking is a difficult thing to do. So what if you are not perfect? People will forget about it very quickly.
As someone else said, speak slowly and remember to breathe. Take a sip of water

De Danann

It doesn't usually bother me as long as I was given time to prepare beforehand. If it's last minute improvisation it would be difficult for me.

I do it a lot for work and actually find it easier if I don't know the people in the room. If it's friends or colleagues that I regularly work with, it's more difficult because if I mess something up they're more likely to slag me for it later!

CelticRambler

Used to have a thing about it, then in secondary school somehow got roped into a debating competition that I really wanted to win. Learnt my spiel off by heart so I wouldn't have to read from notes. Took my place at the podium, looked out at the room, had a complete mental blank and couldn't remember how my speech started. :eek:

But I'd brought a prop with me, knew the phrase that went with that, worked backwards, got to the beginning after an eternal dramatic pause, and rattled off the rest of it without any problems. Afterwards, one of team-members (who'd been watching from the floor) said that that pause was the most impressive part of my presentation (and yes, I won the "best speech" award )

Since then, it's no bother for me to stand up in front of an audience. I ignore the flushed head feeling if it strikes - no-one else notices it.

Even if you don't try to do it note-free, practice your speech until you know it inside out and really believe what you're saying. That'll make it sound more convincing, and allow you to spend more time looking out at the audience instead of down at your notes. You will need to speak more slowly than normal, but that doesn't mean you can't speed up a bit from time to time for effect.

I don't recommend recording yourself - because you'll only hear that weird voice that isn't the one you hear in your head; just practice speaking out loud, putting emphasis on the words/phrases that are important, and checking your run-time.

wakka12

Its fine so long as Im extremely prepared to the point I almost know what Im going to say word for word off by heartq

Others have mentioned propanlol. I take that too. And was surprised to find out a few of my classmates also take it for presentations. Im an architecture student and have to make long presentations to my entire year every week so its great for relieving physical symptoms, completely stops my voice from quaking or wavering, my heart thudding, feeling lightheaded, and stops blushing too. It doesnt change your mind or confidence but when you know youre not going to embarass yourself on stage by shaking or sweating or blushing its so much easier to focus just on what you want to say and saying it more confidently

Earthhorse

ChikiChiki wrote: »

I don't fear public speaking at all. Have done it numerous times and delivered well. That's with a purpose as it's part of work so I'm focused on the job at hand.

Now when I walk into a busy bar it's a different story. My social anxiety is through the roof and can crippling.

Seems like a contradiction, does anyone have the same?

Totally. When giving a speech or doing a presentation it’s usually to a crowd which can be faceless. Interacting with people one on one is way more intimidating.

Sir Osis of Liver.

touts

I have done lots of speeches and presentations and I'm quite comfortable with it. Once you are prepared and know your stuff and you will be fine.

I actually think the key thing is to know what you want to say and how you want to say it but remember no one else does. So if you miss something or mess something up don't worry. No one else knows exactly what you practiced so as long as you are flexible enough to work back and get back on track you'll be fine.

10 minutes. Divide it up

First minute. Introduce yourself, your topic and a summary of what you will say. Last minute summarise what you said. That leaves 8 minutes in the middle. Now look at the topic you are talking about and divide it into obvious sections (e.g. use the STAR method. Situation, Task (your role), Action and Result) when you divide it up you'll see that 10 minutes isn't very long and you could almost treat each section as a 90 second speech. Can you talk for 90seconds. I'll bet you can.

Dramatik

I generally don't prepare for my presentations, I found that preparing for them made me more nervous. I'll just pick a couple of topics that I want to speak on. Sure sometimes you'll forget something you wanted to speak about but I find it makes for a less robotic performance in the end. Sometimes some light humor can help win the crowd over, if you're bold enough you could even ask the audience a question. What ask the audience? No, never! It's actually a tool I use sometimes to help me, basically you ask the audience a question to do with your subject, that you know the answer to, then you maybe pick one or two people to answer, most of the time they won't know and then you answer it for them making yourself look all smart and stuff. You can even do the whole presentation this way, you ask the audience a question, see what their view or answer is then give your own feedback on their answer. If you are getting through your presentation to quickly you can use this method to waste a bit of time.

Mad_maxx

When I was in secondary school, being asked to read in class caused me to become near unable to breathe, it was a completely traumatic experience which happened about once per week, didn't know what was causing it at the time but the fear had passed by the time I was seventeen

Teachers are assh0les sometimes, vast majority of people will never need to speak publicly, students should not be asked to read in school

Filmer Paradise

I've done it a handfull of times.

First time was a disaster. I didn't prepare & wound up rambling.

After that I did some prep work & wrote everything down.

My tip is not to use a single sheet or sheets of paper. You will lose your place in it too easily. Also it looks amateurish.

Use a series of cue cards outlining your points as you go along. Your memory will do the rest.

Before you do your speech, make sure you have your cards in your pocket in the correct order.

Job done.:)

CelticRambler

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

My tip is not to use a single sheet or sheets of paper. You will lose your place in it too easily. Also it looks amateurish.

I remember being at Mass once and one doddery aul' wan was coerced into doing a reading. She took her place at the lectern, head down, started to read from the book, flipped over onto the next page and didn't notice the puzzled faces of the priest and congretation. She'd accidentally turned two pages at once, but was in full robot-reader mode and didn't realise she was now a Sunday ahead of the rest of us ...

endacl

LionelNashe wrote: »

I'm unaccustomed to it.

As you are.

Filmer Paradise

CelticRambler wrote: »

I remember being at Mass once and one doddery aul' wan was coerced into doing a reading. She took her place at the lectern, head down, started to read from the book, flipped over onto the next page and didn't notice the puzzled faces of the priest and congretation. She'd accidentally turned two pages at once, but was in full robot-reader mode and didn't realise she was now a Sunday ahead of the rest of us ...

I find cue cards a great help. They keep you on track & in command of the situation.

Just keep them in the right order & it's all good.

mondeo

I fear in case my voice goes all squeeky for a few seconds during the speech for no apparent reason.

twignme

Try to get your speech into your 'unconscious mind' rather than your concious one. You don't want to do it by rote becuase that is what will make you nervous in case you forget a word or a phrase. If you need reminders, put single words on cards and if you have more than one card, tie them together using a treasury tag.
Have a look at the skill of visualisation there's plenty information about it available - visualise yourself standing up, going to your place, looking out, talking. Visualise doing it all really well. It's what rugby players and golfers do. Embrace that adrenaline and don't fear it, it's a mighty thing to utilise. Dont try to be perfect, be passionate.

Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em.
Tell'em.
Tell 'em what you told 'em.

Good luck !!!

mikemac2

Bertie Ahern stammered and stuttered and became leader of the nation

Nobody is looking for world class perfection in a speech and even if goes terribly people will feel the pain and know that was themselves one day

robman60

It is something I always get very nervous about right before doing it. It's also very much dependent on the context. I don't find an academic presentation nerve-wracking. The thought of something like a best man's speech makes me want to die, though.

I find what works for me is to have a word for word preparation for the opening, just to get me speaking, but after that just to know the message that I am trying to get across rather than word for word. Allows me to be more fluid and before I know it I'm cracking jokes (I never crack jokes), works well for me

facehugger99

I hate it.

Best advice is to practice it over and over out loud ( I will literally practice it many dozens of times the week before I need to present). Once you get used to the rhythm of it you'll almost be able to go into autopilot.

Dial Hard

mikemac2 wrote: »

Bertie Ahern stammered and stuttered and became leader of the nation

Most of that was an affectation. He started doing it to make himself appear more affable and endearing to the voting public. If you ever see some of his earlier speeches on Reeling in the Years or the like, he's perfectly articulate.

Bobblehats

Deleted User wrote: »

Allows me to be more fluid and before I know it I'm cracking jokes (I never crack jokes), works well for me

Not everybody gets them though. Have you ever pulled a Christmas cracker only to find a joke inside? Then you’ve cracked a joke ..

pgj2015

yes, if someone asked me to be their best man id refuse. i used to halve a vodka or two before most of my college presentations and they went well.

The One Doctor

Have to admit that I love public speaking. Looking for a job as a trainer at the moment, love the rush of standing up in front of loads of people. Best man gig always goes well.

spurious

Mad_maxx wrote:

Teachers are assh0les sometimes, vast majority of people will never need to speak publicly, students should not be asked to read in school

Except now it is part of the lovely 'improved' exam system and everyone has to do it in English.

pgj2015

There should be way more public speaking in primary and secondary school,then we wouldnt fear it so much by the time we go to college.

B.A._Baracus

It's easy.
Don't get me wrong, we all brick it the first time. But it's not that hard. It's a mental game. If you think you're gonna be nervous and crap then you will be nervous and crap.

Have confidence if your ability.

The_Honeybadger

I had a crippling fear of public speaking but it eased over time the more I did it. I have to speak in public and on the local radio fairly regularly now and while it might be a stretch to say I like it, I don’t obsess about it beforehand any more.

Know your subject and practice over and over beforehand is the only advice I can give.