Have you ever been groped as a male?

mr_fegelien

I was on Reddit and see so many posts about men being groped but I have a very sneaky feeling this is confirmation bias. People who are in the minority of anything there can answer a question and give the impression that an issue is happening more than it is.

I just don't know any man who has been groped, even at a club/pub. The only ones are my female friends and that's both in clubs, pubs, in public, on buses, etc..

893bet

#metoo

corks finest

mr_fegelien wrote:

I was on Reddit and see so many posts about men being groped but I have a very sneaky feeling this is confirmation bias. People who are in the minority of anything there can answer a question and give the impression that an issue is happening more than it is.

As a bouncer in Derry for years,yeah happened a lot,,, welcome at times but vvv frustrating TBH ( married man at the time)

munster87

Yes. Both by women and men.

Squall Leonhart

Many many many times by women 40+ when I was a 16-19 year old working at a hotel, usually weddings.

Hoots of laughter as pulled onto the lap of women triple my age, comments about how I fill my pants lovely etc. Even had a woman offer me sex in the disabled toilet if I was up for it.

As a nervous awkward teenage boy it was very uncomfortable stuff.

listermint

Yes. and I've no issues with Me too movement either.

Probably count it on one hand though how many times. So not alot

MorganIRL

I'm a barman, and it happens regularly.. the touching has died down as I've gotten older and married.. but now it's the obvious flirting, even wearing wedding ring.. wife works in the industry so is aware of what happens and receives it herself. But if either of us wasn't in the job, I reckon it cud make things very awkward..

Ironicname

mr_fegelien wrote:

I was on Reddit and see so many posts about men being groped but I have a very sneaky feeling this is confirmation bias. People who are in the minority of anything there can answer a question and give the impression that an issue is happening more than it is.

That also goes for women don't you know?

sydthebeat

munster87 wrote: »

Yes. Both by women and men.

Ditto

s7ryf3925pivug

Yes. Both front and back. Didn't care about back. Front was rude.

I think it's different to being physically groped by someone stronger than you, and I think it's different to be groped by someone who might want to be penetrated by you than by someone who might want to penetrate you.

A woman being groped by a man is more like a man being groped by a stronger, dominant man, than it is like being groped by a woman. I don't need to experience it to know that I would find this far more troubling than being groped by a woman.

One eyed Jack

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I was on Reddit and see so many posts about men being groped but I have a very sneaky feeling this is confirmation bias. People who are in the minority of anything there can answer a question and give the impression that an issue is happening more than it is.

I just don't know any man who has been groped, even at a club/pub. The only ones are my female friends and that's both in clubs, pubs, in public, on buses, etc..

You’re really only going to get the same here though, no different than reddit or any other form of social media.

Been groped plenty throughout my adult life, and not because I’m particularly attractive or anything, but simply because people who are into that shìt see me as an easy target.

Thankfully though, the number of people who think like that are by far outweighed by the number of people who find that kind of behaviour unacceptable.

Grab All Association

Outside a Garda station 3 years ago by a group of drunk intoxicated girls who not only tried to put their hands down my pants, but confronted my ex fiancée who was with me at the time. Saying she was ugly, she isn’t, and she also isn’t a clinically obese 5ft.2, nor has she crooked teeth like sticks of chewing/bugs bunny. They told her to go back to her own country as my ex is a Floridian.

I was angry and upset at the way they spoke to my ex. It wasn’t until the Garda in the station completely brushed it off, that I actually cared about what they tried to do to me. My ex was the one that reported it immediately and even recorded a video of it. I’d have been okay if they gave them a warning or moved them along. They didn’t even come outside to ask questions. Felt like a right third class citizen.

Kamu

Yes, multiple times by both men and women. Arse squeezed and and slapped, penis touched at a urinal.

Had a much older man position me in the toilets at Heuston Station when I was 15 saying he'd @*#! In the toilets over there.

Had a man ask me out and try follow me home twice, a few months apart.

Had a lady place my hand on her groin saying "Guess it's my turn" and groped my junk.

Had a guy I worked with, who fancied me, say that the girl I fancied wanted to kiss me on a night out; we kiss and before I know it, it's a threeway kiss with the guy also, as he told the girl wouldn't it be wild to have a threeway kiss.

Many more also, and none bothered me. Maybe perhaps the one when I was 15 as I was yet to take a growth spurt, so I was slight.

CageWager

Yes. Hand down the pants with a solid grip on my lad by the bride to be on her hen night. When I made it clear that it was not appreciated I was told by the peanut gallery at her table that I was “no craic”.

Its a tricky one though- If she was attractive I probably wouldn’t have been as upset.

TuringBot47

Yes.

Working in a bar for 5 years during college.
Ugly women who should've been charged with sexual assault in specific instances, and men (hetero I think) thinking they were funny pinching my ass.
Also a flat chested culche female nurse sporting a moustache in St Vincent Hospital when I was on the operating table in pre-op... Not sure if it was some game to try and get young men to have hard-ons before they wheeled them into the operating theatre, but didn't work on me when she didn't have an ounce of femininity. Going back 20-25 years there.

I pity anyone, especially women, working in pubs/hotels with alcohol being served.

mr_fegelien

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Yes.

Also a flat chested culche female nurse sporting a moustache in St Vincent Hospital when I was on the operating table in pre-op... Not sure if it was some game to try and get young men to have hard-ons before they wheeled them into the operating theatre, but didn't work on me when she didn't have an ounce of femininity.

I pity anyone, especially women, working in pubs/hotels with alcohol being served.

Are you sure that was sexual? Not denying it but I'd imagine nurses could lose their jobs quickly if there were any allegations of sexual misconduct.

Simms

CageWager wrote: »

Its a tricky one though- If she was attractive I probably wouldn’t have been as upset.

That's gas. Good man.....lol

Ironicname

Simms wrote:

That's gas. Good man.....lol

Wut

TuringBot47

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Are you sure that was sexual? Not denying it but I'd imagine nurses could lose their jobs quickly if there were any allegations of sexual misconduct.

No doubt she knew what she was doing.
I was on the trolley alone with her on the pre-op ward, about to be wheeled into the operating room.
We got talking and she said she was studying child psychology at night.
I was reading psychology books and wasn't trying to be suggestive but did say I was reading about the Freudian anal, oral and phallic stages of child development.
But she ended up beside me leaning, open palmed on my genitals.
No need for her to be even leaning on any part of my body, never mind down there. An odd one, but about 25 years ago.
God knows if it was some student nurse prank or something.

saabsaab

Once many years ago by an older woman in a bar was a bit shocked tbh. I just walked away. Another time by man in Dublin said I was straight and walked away back to the girl I was with at the time.

Balmed Out

When working as a glass collector it was pretty constant. Normally a group of older women.

Forty Seven

More times than I remember in the years I worked in hotels. I was once accosted by a bunch of hens while delivering room service. They were dressed as police and one blocked the door behind me. It was uncomfortable as hell. Also been fully exposed by women lifting my kilt on a few occasions.

Funnily enough. I have never heard from any of my female co-workers of any untoward behaviour towards them from men.

Sleeper12

I thought it happened to all men at some point in their lives tbh. Maybe if you drink in your quiet local all them time you might escape but anyone that has frequented temple bar & bumped into a hens party probably didn't escape with their dignity intact

Beechwoodspark

Yes. A good number of times when working in a bar. Collecting glasses etc. groping ass and front. Mainly women but some men especially later in the night when drunk.

Also the weirdest was I worked in an electrical shop and was placing a tv in a customers car.

Middle aged woman. She said something along the lines of “do I get you to install it in my bedroom, you’ll get a nice reward” really awkwardly - I just laughed and gtf out of there.

Murof

Yep, went to gay bar, The George one night for a gay co-workers birthday afters and had my ass groped numerous times but the worst was a lad putting his hand down my front for a good feel. Pushed him to the ground and I was ejected? Little prick was no more than 18.

freshpopcorn

Probably the odd hand from time to time.
However there used be a bouncer at a club in Cork and he used grab my crotch and squeeze. This happened a few times.

NIMAN

Still waiting................

Hobosan

Frequently.

Most annoying was when a woman ripped my shirt open and stormed back to her group of friends, like it was a dare or she was showing off.

This was in a small local town pub and the group weren't from the town either which made it seem more bizarre.

Miraculously I kept getting served at the bar and made it into the club later with a ripped open shirt, but if this was in Cork City, it would have been the end of festivities for me.

At least I can move on from groping, it doesn't bother me, but ripping my clothes open in front of an entire pub (without recourse) is such a brazen and scummy thing to do.

Your Face

Yes mostly when I worked in bars, both as a barman and a bouncer.
A few times on nights out too.

Not a grope but once a women tried to punch me. She just walked up to me in a pub and threw a punch towards my face. I dodged it and grabbed her hand and asked wtf was she doing.
She obviously thought her answer was great craic and endearing -"I though you looked kinda tough so I d see if you could take a punch" Weird girl.

SuperS54

Groped by a well built lady boy whilst in Thailand. Was standing in the back of a pickup truck to add weight over the back wheels while we were trying to pull a rental car off a small bridge as the driver had tried to u-turn on a narrow road and driven the rear wheels off the bridge. Large crowd gathered as the road was completely blocked and a troupe of lady boys on their way to work stopped to lend a hand, in more ways than one!

Groped by the Chinese equivalent of the TSA in a small rural airport in China, female security doing a body search after pinging the metal detector put her hand far further down my pants than was required to check a belt buckle, assumed it was accidental until I looked and there was a lot of eye contact. Quite an attractive looking lady too, did debate how much I really wanted to get on the flight!

s7ryf3925pivug

SuperS54 wrote: »

Groped by a well built lady boy whilst in Thailand. Was standing in the back of a pickup truck to add weight over the back wheels while we were trying to pull a rental car off a small bridge as the driver had tried to u-turn on a narrow road and driven the rear wheels off the bridge. Large crowd gathered as the road was completely blocked and a troupe of lady boys on their way to work stopped to lend a hand, in more ways than one!

Groped by the Chinese equivalent of the TSA in a small rural airport in China, female security doing a body search after pinging the metal detector put her hand far further down my pants than was required to check a belt buckle, assumed it was accidental until I looked and there was a lot of eye contact. Quite an attractive looking lady too, did debate how much I really wanted to get on the flight!

She had to make sure it wasn't a gun in your pocket.

s7ryf3925pivug

Sonypony wrote: »

Yes groped numerous times by women, also had my genitals fondled by women rubbing their bum against me, women I've never met before in my life. The sense of entitlement and privilege some women have is remarkable.

Nah they're just trying to make you want to fnck them.
It's not entitlement or privilege because they aren't getting jollies from feeling your knob with their ass. They're trying to arouse you. It's for your benefit.

smelly sock

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I was on Reddit and see so many posts about men being groped but I have a very sneaky feeling this is confirmation bias. People who are in the minority of anything there can answer a question and give the impression that an issue is happening more than it is.

I just don't know any man who has been groped, even at a club/pub. The only ones are my female friends and that's both in clubs, pubs, in public, on buses, etc..

Yes i have been. In the pub by a drunk female colleague. Its ok to do it to a man. When i grabbed her gee in retaliation there was uproar.

Reviews and Books Galore

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

Nah they're just trying to make you want to fnck them.
It's not entitlement or privilege because they aren't getting jollies from feeling your knob with their ass. They're trying to arouse you. It's for your benefit.

Yeah...no.

NotToScale

Plenty of times in my college days when I was out in bars and clubs. You'd get women pinching, grabbing and so on as you walked around.

Most of it was fairly harmless, but I definitely had a few go way too far like trying to force me to kiss them and in one case actually grabbing me so roughly it really hurt.

I've been grabbed by men too, actually in generally less roughly, possibly because there's more of a taboo about guys grabbing anyone than there was about women doing it.

I've heard absolute horror stories from the 70s and 80s though with guys being total sex pests.

Have things changed? Do women still do that or have we all become a lot more civilised these days?

Sleepy

It's a fairly constant part of the job if you work in pubs or nite clubs tbh. Would have lost count of the times it happened when I was collecting glasses etc. in pubs / clubs I worked in during college. Used to be a fairly frequent occurrence when I used to go to nightclubs as a patron myself but it's been over a decade since that was a regular thing so I'd imagine it's likely changed somewhat in the past few years?

It's never happened in the bar I currently help out in from time to time but as it's the bar of a local sports club, it'd be rather brazen of anyone to try anything in front of all the other members.

JupiterKid

Yep, quite a few times in my 20s and early 30s when out in bars by women and the occasional man.

Once an older woman grabbed me by the crotch in a nightclub and it was very painful. It is a very unpleasant thing to have done to you.

Metroid diorteM

Nope, never thankfully. I hate pubs though and a lot of the posts above seem to be from bar staff.

I have had female friends and partners tell me that they have been though.

the_pen_turner

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

Yes. Both front and back. Didn't care about back. Front was rude.

I think it's different to being physically groped by someone stronger than you, and I think it's different to be groped by someone who might want to be penetrated by you than by someone who might want to penetrate you.

A woman being groped by a man is more like a man being groped by a stronger, dominant man, than it is like being groped by a woman. I don't need to experience it to know that I would find this far more troubling than being groped by a woman.

I disagree 100 percent.
I would rather be assaulted , sexually or other wise by a man than woman pure down to the fact I can defend myself against a man.
If a woman touches you and you move her hand or there it get to the point you need to defend yourself then she can turn and play the victim and I would be in trouble

If a guy gets punched in the face for touching another guy most will laugh and say he deserved it

mr_fegelien

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I disagree 100 percent.
I would rather be assaulted , sexually or other wise by a man than woman pure down to the fact I can defend myself against a man.
If a woman touches you and you move her hand or there it get to the point you need to defend yourself then she can turn and play the victim and I would be in trouble

If a guy gets punched in the face for touching another guy most will laugh and say he deserved it

I think that being touched by a woman is "less invasive" so long as she wasn't unattractive.

I'm a small guy so I don't think anyone would have an issue with me defending myself against a woman. Being groped by a man seems predatory to me compared to a woman. If a decent looking woman groped me, I'd just brush it off, if it was an ugly woman, I'd push her back.

s7ryf3925pivug

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I disagree 100 percent.
I would rather be assaulted , sexually or other wise by a man than woman pure down to the fact I can defend myself against a man.
If a woman touches you and you move her hand or there it get to the point you need to defend yourself then she can turn and play the victim and I would be in trouble

If a guy gets punched in the face for touching another guy most will laugh and say he deserved it

You missed the point. A stronger man, who would overpower you if you tried to defend yourself is what I described. That is what most women are faced with when they are groped by most men.

tritium

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

You missed the point. A stronger man, who would overpower you if you tried to defend yourself is what I described. That is what most women are faced with when they are groped by most men.

I think you’ve also missed their point- a situation where, at best, you can never ever be the victim, is what most men would face in that scenario: basically shut up and take it if you know what’s good for you- which, for different reasons is remarkably similar to the situation you describe for women

s7ryf3925pivug

tritium wrote: »

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

You missed the point. A stronger man, who would overpower you if you tried to defend yourself is what I described. That is what most women are faced with when they are groped by most men.

I think you’ve also missed their point- a situation where, at best, you can never ever be the victim, is what most men would face in that scenario: basically shut up and take it if you know what’s good for you- which, for different reasons is remarkably similar to the situation you describe for women

No I got that but it's not the same. You can just leave. [In fact you generally only have a right to use force to defend yourself if leaving is not an option, no matter who you're faced with.] A man can physically prevent a woman leaving.

mr_fegelien

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

No I got that but it's not the same. You can just leave. [In fact you generally only have a right to use force to defend yourself if leaving is not an option, no matter who you're faced with.] A man can physically prevent a woman leaving.

What if the man is 5ft 5in 60kgs (like me) and the woman is 6ft and 80kgs. You're not telling me that the man still has an added advantage. He's shorter and thinner.

s7ryf3925pivug

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Zoie Rotten Piranha wrote: »

No I got that but it's not the same. You can just leave. [In fact you generally only have a right to use force to defend yourself if leaving is not an option, no matter who you're faced with.] A man can physically prevent a woman leaving.

What if the man is 5ft 5in 60kgs (like me) and the woman is 6ft and 80kgs. You're not telling me that the man still has an added advantage. He's shorter and thinner.

Yeah that's why I said most men and most women in my previous post explaining the same mind numbingly obvious concept.

Barna77

Yes

And as a gay man, women have slagged me when they didn't get the response they hoped for. Like the one who told me to f off. And this was in The George!

nthclare

Yes and I quite enjoyed it, it was the way it was in the 90's some brave randy woman grabbing my arse then later on maybe get the shift off her.

I think it's more acceptable for a woman to pinch a guy on the arse, because you can guarantee he won't be permanently scarred from it or ruin her life and future.

But I never felt the compulsion to respond in kind, as that's only for the neanderthals and sad fcks.....

Luckily I was supposedly fit back then, and easy on the eye, well framed and confident.

I was the bulb off Shane Lynch from Boyzone, so getting a woman wasn't hard.

Hopefully someone will quote my post, and call me out on it

greenspurs

a few times..

At a gig, while in the middle of the crowd, girl in front moving her a$$ up and down against my crotch, so I moved a small bit back, so did she.
I moved again, and so did she. She seemed to enjoy my growing hardness !! :P

A female friend of my wife did it years ago...
We were outside a pub, two of us were alone (rest of group at bar/toilet) and she started rubbing my crotch, saying she'd love to see it etc...
Nothing more came of it , after I laughed it away...

I survived both experiences, unscathed.

nthclare

Some lady from East Clare at Katy Daly's in Killaloe, back in 1994

I remember it well Capella "You gotta let the music" was playing in the back ground...the music was pumping and at that moment I was never the same again...

I think she's married with kids now, I have never forgotten about it, life will never be the same by Haddaway ironically was faded in after Capella...
That's forever burnt into my Psyche
She won't know what hits her when I spin an aul me too

adam88

nthclare wrote: »

Yes and I quite enjoyed it, it was the way it was in the 90's some brave randy woman grabbing my arse then later on maybe get the shift off her.

I think it's more acceptable for a woman to pinch a guy on the arse, because you can guarantee he won't be permanently scarred from it or ruin her life and future.

But I never felt the compulsion to respond in kind, as that's only for the neanderthals and sad fcks.....

Luckily I was supposedly fit back then, and easy on the eye, well framed and confident.

I was the bulb off Shane Lynch from Boyzone, so getting a woman wasn't hard.

Hopefully someone will quote my post, and call me out on it

Need visual proof lol

nthclare

adam88 wrote: »

Need visual proof lol

pm me