Strange past time

Fiftyfilthy

Was in the pub over the weekend discussing ways how we like to relax in the evenings

My friend said that he likes to sit on the couch and start trying to **** but not actually follow through

About pushing whilst simultaneously tensing your sphincter

Says it’s very therapeutic and helps him relax and then waddles off to the toilet before it gets too late

Has been doing this since he was a child and now married and in his 40s


Is this a common practice? I thought it was a little strange

Wayne Jarvis

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Was in the pub over the weekend discussing ways how we like to relax in the evenings

My friend said that he likes to sit on the couch and start trying to **** but not actually follow through

Says it’s very therapeutic and helps him relax and then waddles off to the toilet before it gets too late

Has been doing this since he was a child and now married and in his 40s


Is this a common practice? I thought it was a little strange

Did you wish him well with his future prolapsed rectum?

Fiftyfilthy

Guy Person wrote: »

Did you wish him well with his future prolapsed rectum?

40 years doing this and never mentioned that he has had a prolapsed rectum to date

D3V!L

sorry what are you talking about ? w*nking or sh*ting ?

Alun

It's 'pastime' not 'past time'.

antix80

Do you get a kick from posting this rubbish?

Fiftyfilthy

antix80 wrote: »

Do you get a kick from posting this rubbish?

Just a straightforward question

Never heard of this before and have been googling to see if this is a common practice

I was and am puzzled about the whole thing

Fiftyfilthy

D3V!L wrote: »

sorry what are you talking about ? w*nking or sh*ting ?

****ting

EmmetSpiceland

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Was in the pub over the weekend discussing ways how we like to relax in the evenings

My friend said that he likes to sit on the couch and start trying to **** but not actually follow through

About pushing whilst simultaneously tensing your sphincter

Says it’s very therapeutic and helps him relax and then waddles off to the toilet before it gets too late

Has been doing this since he was a child and now married and in his 40s


Is this a common practice? I thought it was a little strange

I’d be worried about the integrity of his “ring piece”, he must be a prime candidate for a bad, and recurring dose of haemorrhoids.

Did you ask him if he’s run into “problems” like that?

Samuel T. Cogley

**** posting taken to a whole new level.

Badly Drunk Boy

Isn't there an 'etiquette' thread for this sort of thing already?

Fiftyfilthy

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d be worried about the integrity of his “ring piece”, he must be a prime candidate for a bad, and recurring dose of haemorrhoids.

Did you ask him if he’s run into “problems” like that?

No, I didn’t really want to ask too many questions at the time as I was with friends and they were all disgusted

EmmetSpiceland

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

No, I didn’t really want to ask too many questions at the time as I was with friends and they were all disgusted

Did he give more detail? Would anything actually pop out but be caught just in time and “withdrawn”?

“Turtle-heading”, I believe it’s called. Would ruin the jocks if not done right and can leave a terrible “mess” within the cheeks. Lots of “smearage”.

Fiftyfilthy

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Did he give more detail? Would anything actually pop out but be caught just in time and “withdrawn”?

“Turtle-heading”, I believe it’s called. Would ruin the jocks if not done right and can leave a terrible “mess” within the cheeks. Lots of “smearage”.

He did add that only time he had an accident was when he was kneeling over the bed reading on his phone and pushing and sneezed. Lost control of the tensing part and made a mess

kingtut

Hmm ... the **** could be so many things :eek:

wa.nk
sh1t
p1ss

All seem like strange activities ......

EmmetSpiceland

kingtut wrote: »

Hmm ... the **** could be so many things :eek:

wa.nk
sh1t
p1ss

All seem like strange activities ......

I don’t think “piss” gets censored on here. I just assumed it was shít.

I do hope it wasn’t “****”. I know a guy who got into that whole “edging” where you pull to point of ejaculation and don’t let it out.

It did not go well for him and he still requires a medical procedure every once in awhile to “clear” things out.

Fiftyfilthy

Just to clarify it is pooping

D3V!L

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I know a guy who got into that whole “edging” where you pull to point of ejaculation and don’t let it out.

It did not go well for him and he still requires a medical procedure every once in awhile to “clear” things out.

Slightly off topic. What happened to this lad ?

Deebles McBeebles

Jesus, Emmet. I got that shudder again. Is that the guy who needs a "bore"?

Sky King

Your mate will pass more than just the time if he is not careful OP.

Fiftyfilthy

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I don’t think “piss” gets censored on here. I just assumed it was shít.

I do hope it wasn’t “****”. I know a guy who got into that whole “edging” where you pull to point of ejaculation and don’t let it out.

It did not go well for him and he still requires a medical procedure every once in awhile to “clear” things out.

But many tantric massage places teach you this art. Apparently

cj maxx

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

But many tantric massage places teach you this art. Apparently

I thought sting was on about that. Up to the point of ejaculation but then not actually blowing it.
But to answer the OP, I find his friends habit weird

kingtut

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I don’t think “piss” gets censored on here. I just assumed it was shít.

I do hope it wasn’t “****”. I know a guy who got into that whole “edging” where you pull to point of ejaculation and don’t let it out.

It did not go well for him and he still requires a medical procedure every once in awhile to “clear” things out.

I've tried edging and all it did ultimately was produce more of the good stuff at the end Not sure how it could cause anyone to need medical treatment though unless he never actually ejaculated? In that case it would be more like blue balls :eek:

Effects

cjmc wrote: »

I thought sting was on about that. Up to the point of ejaculation but then not actually blowing it.

Think Sting came out more recently to say he was talking crap about that stuff.

Zorya

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Is this a common practice? I thought it was a little strange

It's not something I'd say he includes in his CV...

Utter Consternation

Effects wrote: »

Think Sting came out more recently to say he was talking crap about that stuff.

Sting talking crap???? :eek::eek::eek:

ldy4mxonucwsq6

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Was in the pub over the weekend discussing ways how we like to relax in the evenings

My friend said that he likes to sit on the couch and start trying to **** but not actually follow through

About pushing whilst simultaneously tensing your sphincter

Says it’s very therapeutic and helps him relax and then waddles off to the toilet before it gets too late

Has been doing this since he was a child and now married and in his 40s


Is this a common practice? I thought it was a little strange

Can't believe he actually admitted doing that lol.

I have actually heard of this before, apparently it stimulates the vagus nerve and prostate resulting in relaxation and other sensations.

There are some freudian psychological explanations too.

Strange indeed though, poophoria.

Hector Savage

AH never change!!

EmmetSpiceland

D3V!L wrote: »

Slightly off topic. What happened to this lad ?

I have this friend, we’re not very close, and he used to boast about how he’d be able to “outlast” us all whenever we finally got a woman. We were years away from that but he told us about his “technique”.

You’d call it “edging” now but what he did was push up around his perineum when he’d get to the “vinegar strokes”. There’s other ways, I’m sure, but this is how he did it. Unfortunately, he moved away from simply using his fingers to push and started to use the frame at the end of his bed. Said the shape worked just right and he could ease himself up and down when required.

Anyway, one day he drops down hard onto the bar. Really hard. And did some damage. An ambulance was called and off he went to hospital. The story that came out was that he’d “slipped and fell” on the frame but it was pretty obvious what he was doing.

The story he tells now is that he was he was injured in a soccer match, a bad tackle. Proudly proclaims whenever he has to go back into hospital for what he calls a “re-bore”. He goes into great details about that match and the tackle, pure heroic fantasy. I know how he did the damage. I know.

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Jesus, Emmet. I got that shudder again. Is that the guy who needs a "bore"?

That’s it, D. A “re-bore”. I believe it’s to do with scar tissue putting pressure on the urethra but I’m no medical expert so not sure why else he’d need it.

kingtut wrote: »

I've tried edging and all it did ultimately was produce more of the good stuff at the end Not sure how it could cause anyone to need medical treatment though unless he never actually ejaculated? In that case it would be more like blue balls :eek:

Just be careful with how you do it. I’m sure there’s positives but I would not like to have to get “cleaned out” every few years. Safety first.

Cee-Jay-Cee

It’s not a pastime, your friend is just a fücking weirdo.

Utter Consternation

Holding a turd on the clutch in this manner would burn out the machinery.

Not a healthy hobby.

weldoninhio

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I don’t think “piss” gets censored on here. I just assumed it was sh

I do hope it wasn’t “****”. I know a guy who got into that whole “edging” where you pull to point of ejaculation and don’t let it out.

It did not go well for him and he still requires a medical procedure every once in awhile to “clear” things out.

Absolute bull****. There is nothing to "clear out".

Utter Consternation

weldoninhio wrote: »

Absolute bull****. There is nothing to "clear out".

Are you a medical expert?

weldoninhio

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Are you a medical expert?

You don't need to be a medical expert to know that is absolute nonsense.

Boom_Bap

Please start calling him 'Skidmark' from now on.

EmmetSpiceland

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Are you a medical expert?

I believe they use a “cystoscope” when performing a “urethrotomy”.

Send it right down the old “jappers”.

Fiftyfilthy

One other piece of information

His wife gets very annoyed when she catches him doing it

She can tell by his face expression and sitting so tense

corner of hells

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I have this friend, we’re not very close, and he used to boast about how he’d be able to “outlast” us all whenever we finally got a woman. We were years away from that but he told us about his “technique”.

You’d call it “edging” now but what he did was push up around his perineum when he’d get to the “vinegar strokes”. There’s other ways, I’m sure, but this is how he did it. Unfortunately, he moved away from simply using his fingers to push and started to use the frame at the end of his bed. Said the shape worked just right and he could ease himself up and down when required.

Anyway, one day he drops down hard onto the bar. Really hard. And did some damage. An ambulance was called and off he went to hospital. The story that came out was that he’d “slipped and fell” on the frame but it was pretty obvious what he was doing.

The story he tells now is that he was he was injured in a soccer match, a bad tackle. Proudly proclaims whenever he has to go back into hospital for what he calls a “re-bore”. He goes into great details about that match and the tackle, pure heroic fantasy. I know how he did the damage. I know.



That’s it, D. A “re-bore”. I believe it’s to do with scar tissue putting pressure on the urethra but I’m no medical expert so not sure why else he’d need it.



Just be careful with how you do it. I’m sure there’s positives but I would not like to have to get “cleaned out” every few years. Safety first.

Cleaned out ? If he manages not ejaculate it's called retrograde ejaculation , his jizz goes back into his bladder and it goes the next time he has a slash.
There's no risk.

ldy4mxonucwsq6

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

One other piece of information

His wife gets very annoyed when she catches him doing it

She can tell by his face expression and sitting so tense

And the smell I'd imagine

Utter Consternation

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

One other piece of information

His wife gets very annoyed when she catches him doing it

She can tell by his face expression and sitting so tense

Is he gurning like Popeye when he's doing it?

That would be most off-putting for anyone in his company. More-so if one knew he was pretend sh1tting himself.

EmmetSpiceland

corner of hells wrote: »

Cleaned out ? If he manages not ejaculate it's called retrograde ejaculation , his jizz goes back into his bladder and it goes the next time he has a slash.
There's no risk.

Sorry, I should have explained better, the “clean out” is to do with a build up of scar tissue that puts pressure on the urethra. Causes a whole mess of, minor, problems.

Utter Consternation

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Sorry, I should have explained better, the “clean out” is to do with a build up of scar tissue that puts pressure on the urethra. Causes a whole mess of, minor, problems.

Thanks for clearing that up Emmet. Other posters here were jumping to conclusions in an aim to be indignant on the internet.

mrcheez

Alun wrote: »

It's 'pastime' not 'past time'.

Well it was a strange time in the pest, so I guess he had it write

Utter Consternation

mrcheez wrote: »

Well it was a strange time in the pest, so I guess he had it write

Quiet a considered response, mrcheez.

Ficheall

Was OP's friend perhaps just really bad at explaining/understanding Kegels?

ldy4mxonucwsq6

Ficheall wrote: »

Was OP's friend perhaps just really bad at explaining/understanding Kegels?

Who finds kegels a relaxing and enjoyable pastime though 😂

Your Face

Im just glad this thread isn't about politics.

Fiftyfilthy

Also another fact .... he reckons he only goes to the toilet every 3 days and has trained himself to go without for longer

And by doing the method described earlier, the waste comes out like consolidated dry paste

ldy4mxonucwsq6

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Also another fact .... he reckons he only goes to the toilet every 3 days and has trained himself to go without for longer

And by doing the method described earlier, the waste comes out like consolidated dry paste

Likely his bowel has stretched over time to accommodate his 'habit'. Not very good, could end up with long term complications.

Bigbagofcans

He must have piles the size of grapes.