Wierd instructions

the_pen_turner

I was just looking at a tub of vitamin dissolving yokes
It states not to eat the silica that's in the lid. Surely that's bloody obvious

Any other wierd instructions

endacl

Weird.

Snotty

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I was just looking at a tub of vitamin dissolving yokes
It states not to eat the silica that's in the lid. Surely that's bloody obvious

Any other wierd instructions

If the instruction wasn't there, someone would eat it on purpose and then take a claim against the makers that they were not warned to eat it and some judge would award them thousands.

Badly Drunk Boy

How you ever noticed that the lids never dissolve completely?

the_pen_turner

Snotty wrote: »

If the instruction wasn't there, someone would eat it on purpose and then take a claim against the makers that they were not warned to eat it and some judge would award them thousands.

I know that its there for a reason. It's funny to see it for that though. Its moulded into the plastic of the lid

the_pen_turner

endacl wrote: »

Weird.

Sorry , I forgot the Grammer nazi warning label on my post

Or maybe it should be a dylexic wite that tread ,peas xquse da bad spellin

Gregor Samsa

My wife bought a small coffee table. It had 3 legs that simply screw into the table top. 45 second job for one person, no tools required.

The instructions that came with it said you needed two people and a hammer. :eek:

endacl

the_pen_turner wrote: »

Sorry , I forgot the Grammer nazi warning label on my post

Or maybe it should be a dylexic wite that tread ,peas xquse da bad spellin

I was simply agreeing that the instruction you referenced was weird. No need to be so tutchie.

TheValeyard

the_pen_turner wrote: »

Sorry , I forgot the Grammer nazi warning label on my post

Or maybe it should be a dylexic wite that tread ,peas xquse da bad spellin

The Nazis did have some very weird instructions though.

Bobby Baccala

Wierd spellingz

NeinNeinNein

'Keep out of reach of children'.

Weird for lots of reasons.

Force Carrier

grammar.

Paddy Cow

Warnings on packets of nuts that say "Warning. Contains nuts". How thick can people be?

Gregor Samsa

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Warnings on packets of nuts that say "Warning. Contains nuts". How thick can people be?

It's not necessarily that people are thick, but more that the regulations are written to stop food companies from weaseling out of them. If something contains nuts, it has to say it contains nuts.

In the US for instance, foodstuff can declare itself to have "0g Sugar" if it has 0.5g or less sugar per serving. So that's fine if you have something that weighs 100g and only has 0.5g of sugar in it - one would generally regard it as negligible enough not to bother with mentioning.

Tic-Tacs are made from pretty much 99% sugar. But because they regard each Tic-Tac as a "single serving", and because each one weighs 0.49g, they can declare themselves as having zero sugar, despite being made almost entirely of sugar:

the_pen_turner

endacl wrote: »

I was simply agreeing that the instruction you referenced was weird. No need to be so tutchie.

Sorry, just a bit sensitive . I thought you were complaining I spelt it wrong.

ILoveYourVibes

Don't forget to dehydrate.

endacl

the_pen_turner wrote: »

Sorry, just a bit sensitive . I thought you were complaining I spelt it wrong incorrectly.

:pac:

MetzgerMeister

endacl wrote: »

I was simply agreeing that the instruction you referenced was weird. No need to be so tutchie.

Touchy









:pac:

punisher5112

Caution contents hot.... Eh coffee please....

Philipx

The best of all.... Fish counter in a supermarket..... Full fillet of salmon with sign stuck in it -

"Allergen information: Contains fish"

fmpisces

This one :D:D:D:D

Paddy Cow

phutyle wrote: »

It's not necessarily that people are thick, but more that the regulations are written to stop food companies from weaseling out of them. If something contains nuts, it has to say it contains nuts.

Even if companies never put a nuts warning on packet of nuts, anyone allergic to nuts who eats a bag of nuts deserves what they get. There is nothing ambiguous about it. It really is companies protecting themselves from thick people who eat them and then try to sue.

kneemos

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

Touchy









:pac:

Touche.

endacl

kneemos wrote: »

Touche.

Damn. It was so bloody obvious.

:mad:

punisher5112

fmpisces wrote: »

This one :D:D:D:D

No wonder my machine started bouncing about and smoke started coming out of it.... How silly of me.....

fmpisces

punisher5112 wrote: »

No wonder my machine started bouncing about and smoke started coming out of it.... How silly of me.....

Bath the kids and wash the clothes at the same time....two for the price of one :pac:

punisher5112

fmpisces wrote: »

Bath the kids and wash the clothes at the same time....two for the price of one :pac:

Can I still use my detergent pods in the plastic wrap, clothes smell so nice.....

my3cents

Used to have an old Japanese Kubota tractor back around 1980 when they were first importing them and the translations weren't so good. There was a tool box in the side of the tractor with a hinged lid that clipped shut. The lid proudly stated "Pull forcefully and it will come".

fmpisces

punisher5112 wrote: »

Can I still use my detergent pods in the plastic wrap, clothes smell so nice.....

:D:D Sure why not?!

punisher5112

Dishwasher does definitely need a big sign on it stating it isn't magic and solid food still in pans or bowls etc will not disappear....

my3cents

punisher5112 wrote: »

Dishwasher does definitely need a big sign on it stating it isn't magic and solid food still in pans or bowls etc will not disappear....

And one to tell my son that bowls put in the right way up won't get washed properly.

endacl

my3cents wrote: »

And one to tell my son that bowls put in the right way up won't get washed properly.

At any point do you remember telling him not to put them in ‘the wrong way up’?

Sons can be incredibly dopey. In a dishwasher, the ‘right way’ is the wrong way, and vice versa.

bodhrandude

These internet amplifying yokes from Lidl or Aldi, did you ever read the instructions for them, even funnier is the youtube video for them.

corner of hells

endacl wrote: »

At any point do you remember telling him not to put them in ‘the wrong way up’?

Sons can be incredibly dopey. In a dishwasher, the ‘right way’ is the wrong way, and vice versa.

Thank God for your posts , I only found out recently that my 20 year old can't open the dishwasher.

Gregor Samsa

bodhrandude wrote: »

These internet amplifying yokes from Lidl or Aldi, did you ever read the instructions for them, even funnier is the youtube video for them.

No. No, I didn't. And I'm not currently in a Lidl or Aldi where these internet amplifying yokes are being sold.

When regaling strangers online with tales of wit and whimsy, it's customary to actually share details of what was funny, rather than just vaguely declare that there was once something funny in a supermarket, and it's also on YouTube.

punisher5112

bodhrandude wrote: »

These internet amplifying yokes from Lidl or Aldi, did you ever read the instructions for them, even funnier is the youtube video for them.

Does it state don't use in home or don't try this at home??..

my3cents

Can of WD 40 I had on my desk (I was looking for inspiration for this thread - and found it).

"May cause drowsiness or dizziness"

wtf are people doing with this stuff?

Redneck Reject

my3cents wrote: »

Can of WD 40 I had on my desk (I was looking for inspiration for this thread - and found it).

"May cause drowsiness or dizziness"

wtf are people doing with this stuff?

Most cheap junkies inhale that crap for cheap highs. A friend of mine in the police department back home in Virginia told me they are now using wasp spray as a cheap alt to meth.

Dramatik

On my bath salts packet it states " not for human consumption " The particular brand I use is called "Euphoria" I find it to be highly invigorating in the morning before work.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Sorry can't embed it.Annotation 2019-08-19 181608.png

bodhrandude

phutyle wrote: »

No. No, I didn't. And I'm not currently in a Lidl or Aldi where these internet amplifying yokes are being sold.

When regaling strangers online with tales of wit and whimsy, it's customary to actually share details of what was funny, rather than just vaguely declare that there was once something funny in a supermarket, and it's also on YouTube.

https://www.lidl-service.com/cps/rde/xchg/SID-438372C2-DFCD556C/lsp/hs.xsl/product.html?id=43298943&title=WLAN-repeater&count=1

Redneck Reject

Nathanael Attractive Vaseline wrote: »

Sorry can't embed it.Annotation 2019-08-19 181608.png

Heh if they can swallow a coat hanger, that is a trick even Houdini would envy.

Gregor Samsa

bodhrandude wrote: »

https://www.lidl-service.com/cps/rde/xchg/SID-438372C2-DFCD556C/lsp/hs.xsl/product.html?id=43298943&title=WLAN-repeater&count=1

Ok, not there yet, but closer. I've read the German, English, Greek and French instructions without so much as a chuckle (although I am more educated about the GNU General Public Licence than I was before). Before I get going on the Danish, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese, can you be a bit more specific about the alleged hilarity?

fmpisces

This is a Lush bottle of shower gel I have with the following instructions :pac:

bodhrandude

phutyle wrote: »

Ok, not there yet, but closer. I've read the German, English, Greek and French instructions without so much as a chuckle (although I am more educated about the GNU General Public Licence than I was before). Before I get going on the Danish, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese, can you be a bit more specific about the alleged hilarity?

Can't be bothered, just a bit harmless fun.