Have you ever ****ed someone at work?

Balanadan

I have.

Your Face

Yeah. Mary from accounts.
I seen that bitch eat her lunch at her desk.
So of course I made a formal complaint to HR.
That was a good Christmas.

An Ri rua

Balanadan wrote: »

I have.

Answering your own question? Ooh matron. Sounds like a solo effort..

Necro

Yup. Then married her :P

RMAOK

Balanadan wrote: »

I have.

So?

banie01

Your Face wrote: »

Yeah. Mary from accounts.
I seen that bitch eat her lunch at her desk.
So of course I made a formal complaint to HR.
That was a good Christmas.

Nice jugs Mary? Or Hairy chin Mary?

Guy:Incognito

Yes

touts

Balanadan wrote: »

I have.

You should also mention that in your annual review self-assessment. Put it down under teamwork.

Your Face

banie01 wrote: »

Nice jugs Mary? Or Hairy chin Mary?

Formerly employed Mary.

Balanadan

touts wrote: »

You should also mention that in your annual review self-assessment. Put it down under teamwork.

My boss at the time just told me to stop doing it in the kitchen with the door open as it was making other people uncomfortable.

Monokne

My wife & my ex. Same office.


Different times, mind.

TBH it's fun and all but I think it's more of a fantasy as a spontaneous, one night stand type of thing. When it's someone you're with, it's cool and all but it's really just sex only nominally less comfortable than if you were having it at home.

Problem Of Motivation

Balanadan wrote: »

I have.

Seriously, tell me how it happened? Most men would be more scared than ever to make a move towards a woman at work with this whole feminist culture.

Problem Of Motivation

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

Seriously, tell me how it happened? Most men would be more scared than ever to make a move towards a woman at work with this whole feminist culture.

Psst.

Don't rape them in the taxi home, or put your hand up their skirt at the water cooler. It isn't sexual abuse to work up a rapport or ask them out like any normal person.

*winks stealthily*

jaxxx

Berties_Horse wrote: »

Where did the poster insinuate this? You're stretching credibility.

*facepalm


The IRONY.

El_Duderino 09

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Psst.

Don't rape them in the taxi home, or put your hand up their skirt at the water cooler. It isn't sexual abuse to work up a rapport or ask them out like any normal person.

*winks stealthily*

Can’t wven put your hand up their skirt? PC gone mad. Feminist agenda at it again. What’s the world coming to.

up for anything

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

Seriously, tell me how it happened? Most men would be more scared than ever to make a move towards a woman at work with this whole feminist culture.

Good.

Birneybau

No, I've never sh!tted a person in work. A nest of vipers maybe.

Arghus

No.

But I've been f! cked.

Sheridan81

Yes.

I'm a morgue attendant.

Hobosan

Finally, a thread for the hard working prostitutes of Ireland.

moonage

Yes, many times.

ILoveYourVibes

How do you think I got the job !?

Dublinmuppet

Hasn’t everyone? How else would you get through the week

gctest50

yip been blalmed for for 3 of them getting pregnant after i showed up - babies everwhere

tabby aspreme

Balanadan wrote: »

I have.

What other aspects of sheep farming do you enjoy

Edgware

banie01 wrote: »

Nice jugs Mary? Or Hairy chin Mary?

No. Armpits Mary

Edgware

gctest50 wrote: »

yip been blalmed for for 3 of them getting pregnant after i showed up - babies everwhere

Are you Pat Mustard the milkman?

friendlyfun

I've a feeling a lot of people here ate telling porkies

KathleenGrant

For clarification does the person you **** at work have to work with you?

Mongfinder General

I'm tempted. And I'm surprised nobody has said it yet.

Your Ma.

anewme

Yep, fado fado when I was very young.

One of those things that if it ever comes to mind now, I just burst out laughing to think I actually did that.

touts

touts wrote: »

You should also mention that in your annual review self-assessment. Put it down under teamwork.

And ask for a Certificate to be displayed prominently at your desk OP.

The next step OP is to contact one of the Irish TV stations, and say you have an idea for a Reality TV, along the lines of a program like "JOBSUS"
only you call your production "JOBPHUCK"

Go off with ya.

branie2

Nope

Dublinmuppet

Sure is it not expected at the Christmas party

Problem Of Motivation

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Psst.

Don't rape them in the taxi home, or put your hand up their skirt at the water cooler. It isn't sexual abuse to work up a rapport or ask them out like any normal person.

*winks stealthily*

Advances towards women are typically made in one of three ways:

1. Asking them out
2. Trying to kiss them
3. Suggesting to have sex there and then (alcohol usually needs to be involved)

Options 2 and 3 are a bit more risky in the present feminist culture. So that leaves us with the formal boring option of asking the girl out. With option 3, the girl can relieve herself of any responsibility because she was "so drunk and it all happened so fast". With option one, it's the most frustrating for men because if you get a "yes" you will then have to figure out for yourself if it is really a "yes", and then you might need to go on two or three dates before you get anywhere. The problem with option one, is that if the girl is stuck-up and thinks the guy is lame, she might decide to report him to the ever growing HR departments, who's staff spend their time watching Gillette advertisements.

Anytime I ask a woman out, I never actually mean it. It's just one of many things to say to let her know that I'm in to her. Ideally we won't even need to arrange to go out!

Problem Of Motivation

Dublinmuppet wrote: »

Sure is it not expected at the Christmas party

I have never got with someone at a Christmas party. Really badly want it to happen.

Strumms

No, there was a distinct lack of good looking girls until the influx of Eastern European girls. Whom for the most part were all taken.

Dublinmuppet

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

I have never got with someone at a Christmas party. Really badly want it to happen.

Ah sure the walk of shame the following Monday in work would nearly put you off!

Strumms

Dublinmuppet wrote: »

Ah sure the walk of shame the following Monday in work would nearly put you off!

Yeah this, :pac:

Problem Of Motivation

Dublinmuppet wrote: »

Ah sure the walk of shame the following Monday in work would nearly put you off!

That's just something they say to make men who don't get laid feel better.

ibFoxer

Monokne wrote: »

My wife & my ex. Same office.


Different times, mind.

TBH it's fun and all but I think it's more of a fantasy as a spontaneous, one night stand type of thing. When it's someone you're with, it's cool and all but it's really just sex only nominally less comfortable than if you were having it at home.

Can't help but feel at the same time would have been a better story :P

ziedth

I never have no. Unless I worked in a hotel it would be much too uncomfortable.

I worked for a relatively well known retail company and I know with certainty or 5 different instances where store managers (married in 4 of the cases) rode staff in the office when they were alone and later caught.

I'd say it's quite common.

Ficheall

I work from home :pac:




So.. no..

Ficheall

Jez Quigly wrote: »

Yeah but you can quite literally beat off while at work...seems you may be the real winner of this thread.

I realise the meaning of "literally" has been somewhat bastardised recently, but how would one "figuratively" beat off?

Beechwoodspark

I work as a traveling sales rep. Have heard tell of it Over the years in diff spars and centra around the midlands.

One manager (guy about 55) notorious for it.

Had a number of local older ladies who would stop by for personal attention

The younger staff knew of his behaviors and not overly impressed (big ignorant fat effer type!)

and they Christen him the name behind his back of pat mustard

Dublinmuppet

Ficheall wrote: »

I work from home :pac:




So.. no..

Are you looking for a secretary 😂

Dublinmuppet

ziedth wrote: »

I never have no. Unless I worked in a hotel it would be much too uncomfortable.

I worked for a relatively well known retail company and I know with certainty or 5 different instances where store managers (married in 4 of the cases) rode staff in the office when they were alone and later caught.

I'd say it's quite common.

How were they caught or is there cctv

DesperateDan

I just found out about what happened in a job I left 5 years ago. I worked with a lovely bloke who worked his way up from the bottom with no qualifications. He had 5 kids and a happy missus and was absolutely devoted to his kids.

I knew he was a complete tee-totaller from being a young one getting into all sorts of trouble with drink, he managed to leave it all behind.

Then I leave and I'm replaced by an attractive 20 year old girl. Fast forward a year and this guy ended up regularly cheating on his missus with her. Lots of shagging in work. He gets her pregnant. Relationship with his first partner falls apart. He turns to drink. Lost his job. Fell out with the 20 year old (half his age), the drink made him violent. Several run ins with the guards, banned from driving. Now he's homeless and spends any dole money on drink, and hasn't seen any of his 6 kids in 3 years.

If I never left, none of this would have happened

Paul_Mc1988

The other halfs friends boyfriend got a Blowie or two of a co-worker. Two weeks after they they bought a house she found out. Horrible thing to happen but she forgave him and they are still together. Never been so happy as she never liked me and would question my character. Over the moon i was

Paul_Mc1988

DesperateDan wrote:

If I never left, none of this would have happened

Cant blame yourself for another idiots actions.

kikilarue2

Hubspot have beer taps in the office, mainly used on a Friday afternoon.

They had to send an email around at one point asking their staff to please stop hooking up in the bathrooms after a few drinks.