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A socially acceptable form of hypocrisy?

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2

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    #32
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    Was it common where you’re from though? I’m genuinely curious because it happened here too, but it wouldn’t have been all that common.

    And yes, there was mothers doing the laundry and treating the boyfriend like a son and all! :D

    Yeah it was fairly common. I was mostly single so I'm not a great example (my husband stayed over, all others were not around long enough) but my brother had girlfriends over although in his case my parents just knew they were there but we almost never met them. A lot of my friends would have their bf or gfs staying but I don't know anyone who would have over their one night stands.


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    #33
    jam_mac_jam
    Registered Users Posts: 4,709 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    volchitsa wrote: »
    Eh, no. The potential consequences are exactly the same.

    unfortunately not. The consequences of sex can be pregnancy which is not the same for a man and a woman.


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    #34
    volchitsa
    Registered Users Posts: 7,017 ✭✭✭volchitsa


    FFred wrote: »
    When it comes to my own sexual behaviour, I would make Ron Jeremy blush :pac:

    But, when it comes to my children and their future sexual behaviour then I’m proud to be a prude :)

    I wonder what result you expect from that though - I mean, do you really expect your children to be influenced by your negative attitude to their sexuality and behave differently from you as a result? Or do you simply hope not to have to be aware of their sexual activity which may well be similar to your own?


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    #35
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    bfa1509 wrote: »
    I wasn't thinking of it that much. Having a strict ideology for one child and showing an ideology of complete indifference for another could be considered hypocritical


    Complete indifference? I’d hold them both to the same standards, as I suggested earlier -

    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I wouldn’t want my son putting it about any more than I wouldn’t find it acceptable if my daughter were putting it about.


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    #36
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    You’re perfectly entitled to view the potential consequences as the same from your perspective, that’s fine, I have no issue with that. From my perspective though, males cannot become pregnant as a result of sexual intercourse, females can. That’s why I suggested that the potential consequences are not the same, and that’s only one example of where the potential consequences aren’t the same.

    Have you not heard of contraception and abortion?


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    #37
    volchitsa
    Registered Users Posts: 7,017 ✭✭✭volchitsa


    jam_mac_jam wrote: »
    unfortunately not. The consequences of sex can be pregnancy which is not the same for a man and a woman.

    So if your son is producing multiple children with various women who may not be able to care for them, you wouldn't care about those children's lives as much as if your daughter had a single child with someone?

    Really?

    What if some of these girls take him to court for maintenance, or perhaps as a decent guy he just feels obliged to participate in their lives because some if the mothers are so hopeless, thus limiting his chances of meeting a girl you'd like to see him married to?

    I just don't see how, other than in the most old fashioned "a girl who is not a virgin is ruined" sort of way, the potential negative outcomes are all that different nowadays.


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    #38
    Littlehorny
    Registered Users Posts: 2,351 ✭✭✭Littlehorny


    As Jim Jeffries once said "it's very easy to be a slut, but it's very hard to be a stud."
    That's the way it still is for women even in the 21st century unfortunately. Both sexes will be judged unequally for the foreseeable future.


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    #39
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    bfa1509 wrote: »
    are there any acceptable forms of hypocrisy?

    You can absolutely hate England and 'de Brits' while being clad in a Man United/Liverpool/Arsenal jersey and nobody will bat an eyelid.


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    #40
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Have you not heard of contraception and abortion?


    I have, and that still doesn’t make the potential consequences the same. I haven’t ever heard of a man having to avail of an abortion for example.


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    #41
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I have, and that still doesn’t make the potential consequences the same. I haven’t ever heard of a man having to avail of an abortion for example.

    Yeah and that's one of the reasons I tend to worry more about my son tbh. But I'm not going to raise him to be afraid of sex. I'm teaching them to be responsible, the rest is up to them.


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    #42
    volchitsa
    Registered Users Posts: 7,017 ✭✭✭volchitsa


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I have, and that still doesn’t make the potential consequences the same. I haven’t ever heard of a man having to avail of an abortion for example.

    So much for all the Iona talk of men being harmed by abortions their girlfriends had had. Interesting to know that you don't think that can possibly be the case.


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    #43
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    For me there is no difference if gfs or bfs are staying. I would actually find my son's position more risky because in the end the girl decides what she wants to do if there is unwanted pregnancy. But I wouldn't be very accommodating to drunken one night stands. Not because I am a prude but because that can be a lot more risky and consequences a bit more serious when they sober up.


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    #44
    FFred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 772 ✭✭✭FFred


    volchitsa wrote: »
    I wonder what result you expect from that though - I mean, do you really expect your children to be influenced by your negative attitude to their sexuality and behave differently from you as a result? Or do you simply hope not to have to be aware of their sexual activity which may well be similar to your own?
    Huh?
    Before I respond, please humour me, how old are your children?


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    #45
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Yeah and that's one of the reasons I tend to worry more about my son tbh. But I'm not going to raise him to be afraid of sex. I'm teaching them to be responsible, the rest is up to them.


    I haven’t raised my son to be afraid of sex either, and certainly I would expect he would be responsible, not just for himself but for anyone he chooses to be with too!


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    #46
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    I haven’t raised my son to be afraid of sex either, and certainly I would expect he would be responsible, not just for himself but for anyone he chooses to be with too!

    Same here. And same for my daughter.


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    #47
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    volchitsa wrote: »
    So much for all the Iona talk of men being harmed by abortions their girlfriends had had. Interesting to know that you don't think that can possibly be the case.


    I don’t think what could possibly be what case? Genuinely I can’t make out what you’re trying to say there.


    EDIT: I think I understand what you’re trying to say now. The Iona Institute don’t represent my opinions, they’re perfectly entitled as are you to express their opinions. I don’t agree with their opinion. Nothing interesting there really, but they’re entitled to their opinions.

    I certainly wouldn’t view the consequences of my daughter having to avail of an abortion as the same for the man who impregnated her, if that’s what you mean?


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    #48
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Gimme A Pound wrote: »
    A key that can open many locks is massively dodgy for security.

    You love an analogy that makes uncontrolled shagging around by men out to be a positive?
    Jeeze.


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    #49
    jam_mac_jam
    Registered Users Posts: 4,709 ✭✭✭jam_mac_jam


    volchitsa wrote: »
    So if your son is producing multiple children with various women who may not be able to care for them, you wouldn't care about those children's lives as much as if your daughter had a single child with someone?

    Really?

    What if some of these girls take him to court for maintenance, or perhaps as a decent guy he just feels obliged to participate in their lives because some if the mothers are so hopeless, thus limiting his chances of meeting a girl you'd like to see him married to?

    I just don't see how, other than in the most old fashioned "a girl who is not a virgin is ruined" sort of way, the potential negative outcomes are all that different nowadays.

    Yeah that's exactly what I said about my son. I am not going to a argue a strawman.
    If you don't see how the consequences of having babies is worse for women then I am not going to explain to you.


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    #50
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    jam_mac_jam wrote: »
    Yeah that's exactly what I said about my son. I am not going to a argue a strawman.
    If you don't see how the consequences of having babies is worse for women then I am not going to explain to you.

    The best way of dealing with that is to teach your daughter to be informed about safe sex and to be assertive.


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    #51
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    Jeeze.
    What? That saying is completely sh1t towards women.


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    #52
    Feisar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,606 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Well I has happy when the nurse told me he was a boy, only one penis to worry about.

    First they came for the socialists...



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    #53
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    a sharpener that sharpens loads of pencils is a great sharpener
    a pencil in too many sharpeners gets worn down to nothing


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    #54
    FFred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 772 ✭✭✭FFred


    Thread is on a slippery slope.

    Non-parents lecturing and patronising parents on how they should approach their children’s future sex lives.

    I’m out. :)


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    #55
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    FFred wrote: »
    Thread is on a slippery slope.

    Non-parents lecturing and patronising parents on how they should approach their children’s future sex lives.

    I’m out. :)

    How do you know who here is a parent and who isn't


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    #56
    bfa1509
    Registered Users Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭bfa1509


    bluewolf wrote: »
    a sharpener that sharpens loads of pencils is a great sharpener
    a pencil in too many sharpeners gets worn down to nothing

    Ha! I think a lot of men, erm, I mean pencils would make it their business to get worn down to nothing!


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    #57
    FFred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 772 ✭✭✭FFred


    FFred wrote: »
    Huh?
    Before I respond, please humour me, how old are your children?
    eviltwin wrote: »
    How do you know who here is a parent and who isn't
    I know you are because you’ve mentioned it about 23000 times. :)

    Other than that, the advanced search function is very useful.

    Have a nice evening :)


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    #58
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    FFred wrote: »
    I know you are because you’ve mentioned it about 23000 times. :)

    Other than that, the advanced search function is very useful.

    Have a nice evening :)

    Maybe you should listen to people with a bit of experience


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    #59
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    eviltwin wrote: »
    The best way of dealing with that is to teach your daughter to be informed about safe sex and to be assertive.


    But jam_jam doesn’t have a daughter? :confused:


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    #60
    FFred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 772 ✭✭✭FFred


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Maybe you should listen to people with a bit of experience
    Let it go.

    Ps, I have more children than you :pac:


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    #61
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,671 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Maybe you should listen to people with a bit of experience


    I’m all for listening to people with a bit of experience, but when it’s being suggested that I’m wrong to view men and women differently, that’s not the voice of experience, that’s the voice of an ideology which is an attempt to argue the way I should regard both men and women as the same. It’s not something I would want to teach my son either, nor would I ever want him to view men and women as the same.


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