neighbours abusive and threatening behaviour

RobAMerc

dunno if this is the right place but....

I was outside cutting the grass verge this eve, I decided as I often do to cut both mine and my neighbours - most of the neighbours do ( its joined to mine and an extra 1 mins work )

My neighbour arrives out with a foot long file type object ( he'd clearly picked up ) and started hurling abuse at me - who the fook asked you to cut my side you little prick? etc etc

he was literally foaming at the mouth as he said it and threatened to kick the **** out of me, and waved the file in my face.

he then started abusing me for putting a flower arrangement round the tree outside ( lots of neighbours have done similar ) and it was part of the neighbourhood drive to spruce up the place with flowers

I told him I thought I was being neighbourly, and he starts again going on, "you wouldnt know what it means to be neighbourly you little prick"

wtf is wrong with this clown?

I went to the Gardai who filed a report and said I am entitled to go down the formal route - I dont really know what to do ... I dont want this nut job near me, my kids or my wife.

bigpink

What was the relationship like before this?He a scummer or normal?

RobAMerc

he'd previously been quite aggressive when he came in to complain about an extension we were building. I agreed to do only what the council allowed, the council were out and we complied with the regs, nothing major. I have tried since to be cordial with him and always say hello. We've had 1 or 2 chats - not much, but I have tried.

RobAMerc

bigpink wrote: »

He a scummer or normal?

Neither I would say. He seems like a respectable chap, its a respectable neighbourhood - but this is the behaviour of someone who isnt normal !

xabi

Sounds like a prick, ignore him and let him cut his own grass.

Baron Kurtz

RobAMerc wrote: »

Neither I would say. He seems like a respectable chap, its a respectable neighbourhood - but this is the behaviour of someone who isnt normal !

Maybe he developed some degenerative mental condition recently.

bigpink

Mental breakdown?

Pretzill

A longshot OP but would be have been leaving his verge to go wild? In a biodiverse sense. That's all I can think of that would garner that reaction.

id follow up, thats far beyond whats acceptable and he needs to be on notice that youre not afraid to have the gardaí in

Andrew00

He might be suffering from depression and anxiety or something

Twenty Grand

Bad day in work, argument with the missus, kids being a pain, who knows. Move on, give him a pass, but don't take any sh*t in the future.

antix80

He's probably still annoyed over the extension.

If he threatens you again you can look into filing a police report, getting a restraining order, etc. But you really need to keep away from the guy and not antagonise him. You have no business cutting his grass or being on his land.

RobAMerc

antix80 wrote: »

You have no business cutting his grass or being on his land.

Just for clarity, this is not belong to either of us. It's the grass strip between the path and the road outside our houses. Council land I would assume.

antix80

Then leave it for the council to cut. There's no need for you to be parading in front of his house. He's already asked you to stop, you obviously have a history.. I'm not saying you're in the wrong, but if you do it again you'd be in the wrong.

Turbohymac

If he had complained in the past about your extension ..well that would certainly have been enough for me to steer well clear of his property.. might sound neighborly but if my neighbor cut some of my grass I wouldn't b too happy with it either.. unfortunately theres 3 sides to every story.. and there might even be some issues that might clearly be annoying this neighbor... simply cutting a small portion of his grass certainly shouldn't have sparked such an outburst . Just stay civil and distant with no good reason for him to complain...

RobAMerc

antix80 wrote: »

Then leave it for the council to cut. There's no need for you to be parading in front of his house. He's already asked you to stop, you obviously have a history.. I'm not saying you're in the wrong, but if you do it again you'd be in the wrong.

Are you trying to justify his behavior or condone it ?
He never asked me to stop this was our first interaction over it.
I am not "parading" anywhere, all the neighbours take turns to cut theirs.
I thought I was being neighbourly by helping out !

Turbohymac wrote: »

If he had complained in the past about your extension ..well that would certainly have been enough for me to steer well clear of his property.. might sound neighborly but if my neighbor cut some of my grass I wouldn't b too happy with it either.. unfortunately theres 3 sides to every story.. and there might even be some issues that might clearly be annoying this neighbor... simply cutting a small portion of his grass certainly shouldn't have sparked such an outburst . Just stay civil and distant with no good reason for him to complain...

Again, its not his property, not his grass - and again, is his behaviour justified ?
Would simple asking me to not do it again be appropriate rather than threatening me with a weapon and saying he'd kick the sh*t out of me ?

Riskymove

RobAMerc wrote: »

and again, is his behaviour justified ?
Would simple asking me to not do it again be appropriate rather than threatening me with a weapon and saying he'd kick the sh*t out of me ?

With respect OP, and to nearly all similar threads on Boards, none of us can say why he reacted like this

Viewed on its own it seems way over the top - but you went to the Gardao don't need advice there.

We only have your view on the history, he is not here, so no one really knows or can say why this happened. I am not sure what you can get out of the discussion only aggravation from the comments of people trying to imagine things to explain it.

RobAMerc

Riskymove wrote: »

With respect OP, and to nearly all similar threads on Boards, none of us can say why he reacted like this

Viewed on its own it seems way over the top - but you went to the Gardao don't need advice there.

We only have your view on the history, he is not here, so no one really knows or can say why this happened. I am not sure what you can get out of the discussion only aggravation from the comments of people trying to imagine things to explain it.

I was hoping that we'd discuss the pros and cons of me formally having a case opened with the Gardai. And whether or not I should let him know I have informed the Gardai of the incident.

harr

The grass on the pavement isn’t anybody’s to own and up to everyone to keep things looking ok.
He doesn’t really have the right to stop you from cutting it as it’s not on his property.
He sounds like a nut case and I definitely would be letting guards know. He made verbal threats in a public area.
As others have said I don’t know the full history but going on this incident alone the neighbor was in the wrong and went completely over the top.

Riskymove

You have made the report so if you go no further it is only an issue if something else happens in future and there is a record of this complaint

If he doesn't know about the report it cannot have any effect on him

I guess there is a chance it was a one off and nothing ever like it happens again

on the flip side the possible consequences of telling him you made a report are likely to be only negative

This can range from relations between you (and families) completely stop and you just ignore each other for ever (I have seen similar)

to even more aggressive reactions/scenes in public over time (have seen same)

and possibly even an actual assault/court cases


as I say we don't know the guy so cant say which is more likely

and we don't have to live in any of these scenarios, unlike you

bottlebrush

op do you have a residents association and if so what is the protocol about maintaining the grass verges that don't belong to the residents? one poster suggested that the council look after them but I can't see them coming in to cut a little piece of grass between you and the neighbour when the other neighbours are happy to do the rest of the verges.
it might be worth checking out with the residents association. otherwise night be best to cut just the bit directly in front of your property and leave him to do his own.

miezekatze

My estate is like this too, the council does not cut the grass verges, it's up to each resident to cut the bit outside their house. The way the driveways are done means that there's a joint grass verge for 2 houses at a time, I assume the OP's is like that too. It's common practice to do the whole thing when you're cutting your grass, not just the half that's right outside your house.. actually seems a bit petty to just cut half of it. So I don't understand why the neighbour flew off the handle about it, sounds a bit weird. Someone said that he's probably still pissed about the extension and I'd say that's probably right. Not much you can do I think.

bottlebrush

miezekatze wrote: »

My estate is like this too, the council does not cut the grass verges, it's up to each resident to cut the bit outside their house. The way the driveways are done means that there's a joint grass verge for 2 houses at a time, I assume the OP's is like that too. It's common practice to do the whole thing when you're cutting your grass, not just the half that's right outside your house.. actually seems a bit petty to just cut half of it. So I don't understand why the neighbour flew off the handle about it, sounds a bit weird. Someone said that he's probably still pissed about the extension and I'd say that's probably right. Not much you can do I think.

same as our estate. I had the same experience as the op. the verge straddles my house and my neighbours. I was cutting my own grass to the front of my house so pulled the lawnmower over and did the whole verge. neighbour came out shouting abuse at me and yelling me to get off his bit. the next time I came out I just cut the bit in front of my own and as I was wheeling back in my lawnmower he appeared beside me yelling at me that I was 'so petty' not cutting the lot. so I decided not to go near it again. the grass grew about a foot high and eventually he came out and cut the lot. and that's the way it's been since. my view is let him at it I don't need the extra work.
some people are just plain unreasonable and you won't change them. just leave the verge for the time being, it might not be nice to look at, but see how things pan out.

Always Tired

RobAMerc wrote: »

Are you trying to justify his behavior or condone it ?
He never asked me to stop this was our first interaction over it.
I am not "parading" anywhere, all the neighbours take turns to cut theirs.
I thought I was being neighbourly by helping out !



Again, its not his property, not his grass - and again, is his behaviour justified ?
Would simple asking me to not do it again be appropriate rather than threatening me with a weapon and saying he'd kick the sh*t out of me ?

Don't you realize this is boards, where the OP has always, always, always done something horribly wrong no matter what? You could literally pull a child from a burning house and the weirdos on here would admonish you for not knocking first and telling you to be glad you haven't been arrested for trespassing.

He's almost certainly annoyed about the extension. But why did he call it his grass if it is the little strip between the road and footpath, that's weird.

ted1

antix80 wrote: »

Then leave it for the council to cut. There's no need for you to be parading in front of his house. He's already asked you to stop, you obviously have a history.. I'm not saying you're in the wrong, but if you do it again you'd be in the wrong.

In ever estate in Ireland it’s the residents that cut the strip.

wiggle16

You filed a report so it's on record now in case he escalates his behaviour. I would leave it at that for the moment.

The best thing you can do is not react to his carry on. He sounds like a prick, you won't be able to put a foot right with him so don't try.

If you want to cut the verge and keep it looking tidy, do it if you want. Anyone can come in and cut the grass on a public pavement if they want to, you don't have to have an excuse. Or don't bother. Depends on whether you want the hassle of cutting the grass and getting grief for it! But you did nothing wrong.

Either way if he threatens you again, go to the guards and make a formal complaint that he was threatening you. The grass itself is a red herring, it doesn't matter, this isn't about the grass. He's the problem.

Give him a wide berth for the moment, and take it further if it happens again.

Granadino

Have an invisible line, and just cut the bits outside your house. It'll look silly then outside his with long grass. And send him a Christmas card.

AulWan

Its the same outside my house, I have an enterprising retired elderly neighbour who asks for 3 euro per house, per month (voluntary) and he keeps all the grass verges neat and tidy and plants and maintains the flowers around the trees. It works well for us, and looks nice.

It sounds to me like your neighbour was looking for a reason to have a go at you, and the grass verge just gave him the excuse he needed. I'd ignore him this time, but if he approaches you again on this issue, I'd go further with the complaint to the Garda, and point out to him (calmly) that he does not in fact own anything beyond the boundaries of his front garden.

DaveyDave

Had to laugh at this thread, someone cut the verge outside my garden yesterday then cut the grass in the garden across the road, but one door over to the left so not directly across from me. I should have went out and battered him!

In all fairness, the previous posts mentioning having a bad day is no excuse. When I have a bad day I don't grab something to use as a weapon/intimidation and get in someone's face.

At least it's on record now, that way if he loses it again there's a note of him being a possible danger to society. Reminds me of a neighbor who came out with a baseball bat and squared up to someone because their demon spawn of a child was playing in the road and ran into the side of a car driving past. He took this as his kid getting knocked down. Driver kept his cool and Gardai quickly put bat man in his place.

RobAMerc

thanks folks, I'm really annoyed that I've been made feel so uncomfortable, I was really practically running in and out of the place today in case I run into him again. I had forgotten that my sons ball went into his garden earlier during the year, his minder allowed him go in to get it and your man came out and shouted at them. It clearly scared the little lad and his minder said "he is not a nice man" - forgot about this till this eve. Sick to the stomach ( and before anyone says it yes, they had no right to go in there )

antix80

RobAMerc wrote: »

( and before anyone says it yes, they had no right to go in there )

So there's 3 reasons why your neighbour hates you.

You have all the sympathy in the world. And no doubt you'll remember something else you or yours did that also received an unwarranted reaction from your neighbour.

Your neighbour sounds like a nut. You probably did the right thing by mentioning him to the gardai. But there are 2 sides to every story, and I'm not overly proud but i was consistently unpleasant to a previous neighbour of mine who made my life a misery by refusing to control her barking dog.

Just keep out of your neighbours hair and see how that works out.

RobAMerc

antix80 wrote: »

So there's 3 reasons why your neighbour hates you.

So building an extension I was within my rights to do ( council came out and agreed )
My 9 year old got his ball from his garden
I cut the grass outside the house.

I understand at some level you are trying to justify your own behavior, I understand and sympathize - constantly barking dog or lack of sleep would drive anyone nuts

But threatening to kick **** out of someone for cutting the communal grass ?

antix80

RobAMerc wrote: »

I understand at some level you are trying to justify your own behavior, I understand

You understand very little. I tried to give you friendly advice which was to stop looking for trouble because you will find it, and now you're trying to turn it on me. I am beginning to see why your neighbour thinks you're.. I believe he called you a prick?

RobAMerc

antix80 wrote: »

You understand very little. I tried to give you friendly advice which was to stop looking for trouble because you will find it, and now you're trying to turn it on me. I am beginning to see why your neighbour thinks you're.. I believe he called you a prick?

haha

Gregor Samsa

RobAMerc wrote: »

So building an extension I was within my rights to do ( council came out and agreed )
My 9 year old got his ball from his garden
I cut the grass outside the house.

I understand at some level you are trying to justify your own behavior, I understand and sympathize - constantly barking dog or lack of sleep would drive anyone nuts

But threatening to kick **** out of someone for cutting the communal grass ?

The only question in your OP was "wtf is wrong with this clown?"

I think almost everyone here has sympathsed with you, and stated that his behaviour was unwarranted and not not normal. But you did ask why he acted the way he did, and people are trying to answer that question. It's not that they're justifying him or anything else - they're hypothesising based on the information you've given them - which is really all they can do.

wiggle16

He acted like this because he's an arsehoIe. Not because of what the OP did.

If it wasn't the grass, the ball or the extension, it would have been over something else.

Porklife

antix80 wrote: »

So there's 3 reasons why your neighbour hates you.

You have all the sympathy in the world. And no doubt you'll remember something else you or yours did that also received an unwarranted reaction from your neighbour.

Your neighbour sounds like a nut. You probably did the right thing by mentioning him to the gardai. But there are 2 sides to every story, and I'm not overly proud but i was consistently unpleasant to a previous neighbour of mine who made my life a misery by refusing to control her barking dog.

Just keep out of your neighbours hair and see how that works out.

While it's true there are two sides to every story, it doesn't mean both sides are right or justified. Sometimes, one side is actually right and the other side is simply bang out of order.

The way I see it, the OP tried to do a neighbourly thing as he's a decent guy and the neighbours reaction was completely insane and unacceptable. I would hazard a guess that he's annoyed at the kid getting his ball 'from his land' and the extension despite the Council granting permission so even his reasons for being annoyed are ridiculous, unjustified and unstable. A child fetching his ball is about as innocent as it gets! I used to jump my neighbours wall when I was a kid if my ball went in and he'd come out and pretend to chase us. He didn't start threathening my dad and going ballistic!

OP, sorry this is happening to you, you try to do a good deed and this hit gets thrown in your face. You shouldn't have to lay low or feel uncomfortable in your own home. For now, it's been reported, I'd probably leave it there. I wouldn't see the need to tell him you've been to the Guards but if anything else happens, I'd be straight back to them and taking this a step further.

You could also try another route which is swallowing humble pie and being the bigger man and knocking on his door to say look, there seems to be alot of anger and anomosity here, can you talk about what's going on and resolve it.. type of thing.. although he might just get angry for you 'bothering' him 'again'.

skallywag

Porklife wrote: »

...A child fetching his ball is about as innocent as it gets!...

Absolutely agree with that.

Unless the child has done some class of damage etc. while retrieving it then it I think it is insane to even to attempt to group this with the list of items in the 'things you annoyed your neighbour with' category.

While going against what my emotional reaction would be, I would also be tending to try to defuse things as much as possible. While I may feel like going nuclear with him, I have learned that there is nothing whatsoever to be gained from a long and drawn out battle with a neighbour.

RobAMerc

phutyle wrote: »

The only question in your OP was "wtf is wrong with this clown?"

I think almost everyone here has sympathsed with you, and stated that his behaviour was unwarranted and not not normal. But you did ask why he acted the way he did, and people are trying to answer that question. It's not that they're justifying him or anything else - they're hypothesising based on the information you've given them - which is really all they can do.

fair comment. I just didnt think the comment that these were 3 reasons to hate me was fair either.

Porklife wrote: »

You could also try another route which is swallowing humble pie and being the bigger man and knocking on his door to say look, there seems to be alot of anger and anomosity here, can you talk about what's going on and resolve it.. type of thing.. although he might just get angry for you 'bothering' him 'again'.

I had previously engaged his mother ( who lived there ) and brother who was responsible for her about the extension. They understood what was happening and said they knew whomever bought the house would do similar.

The initial encounter with this chap was when he behaved aggressively to my wife and I about the extension. ( he didnt live there at this point he was visiting )

After a short period I called in and listened to his concerns I agreed to consider them but also expressed my disapproval of his aggressive tone. He reacted by losing the plot and calling me a stack of names.

I've no intention of going anywhere near this chap again.

Porklife

RobAMerc wrote: »

fair comment. I just didnt think the comment that these were 3 reasons to hate me was fair either.





I had previously engaged his mother ( who lived there ) and brother who was responsible for her about the extension. They understood what was happening and said they knew whomever bought the house would do similar.

The initial encounter with this chap was when he behaved aggressively to my wife and I about the extension. ( he didnt live there at this point he was visiting )

After a short period I called in and listened to his concerns I agreed to consider them but also expressed my disapproval of his aggressive tone. He reacted by losing the plot and calling me a stack of names.

I've no intention of going anywhere near this chap again.

Wow... well with that additional information I'm very glad to hear that you went to the Guards! He is clearly a loose cannon and was using the grass incident as a very transparent excuse to have another pop at you.

I'm not sure what to suggest OP other than trying to keep out of his way but that's unfair and no way to live. It's a tricky one.

Tiddlypeeps

Always Tired wrote: »

He's almost certainly annoyed about the extension. But why did he call it his grass if it is the little strip between the road and footpath, that's weird.

You'd be surprised how many people think they own a bunch of the land at the front of their house. It's especially common with people thinking they own the street parking in front of their property, causes all sorts of arguments.

Lex Luthor

RobAMerc wrote: »

dunno if this is the right place but....

I was outside cutting the grass verge this eve, I decided as I often do to cut both mine and my neighbours - most of the neighbours do ( its joined to mine and an extra 1 mins work )

My neighbour arrives out with a foot long file type object ( he'd clearly picked up ) and started hurling abuse at me - who the fook asked you to cut my side you little prick? etc etc

he was literally foaming at the mouth as he said it and threatened to kick the **** out of me, and waved the file in my face.

he then started abusing me for putting a flower arrangement round the tree outside ( lots of neighbours have done similar ) and it was part of the neighbourhood drive to spruce up the place with flowers

I told him I thought I was being neighbourly, and he starts again going on, "you wouldnt know what it means to be neighbourly you little prick"

wtf is wrong with this clown?

I went to the Gardai who filed a report and said I am entitled to go down the formal route - I dont really know what to do ... I dont want this nut job near me, my kids or my wife.

I'm sorry, but you were just trying to do a good deed
If I was in your situation and he came at me the way he did at you I wouldn't hesitate to put the pr!ck in his place. He practically threatened to physically hurt you and threatened to kick the sh%t out of you

Augme

Be careful going formal.

Its your word against his, do you have any witnesses to this? If not then chances of it leading anywhere are slim as there is no proof he did it.

You'll piss him off even more, and for what? It's possible he might be "scared" of the garda calling to him. But let's be honest, who's actually afraid of that these days?

The flipsise is that there is a huge a amount of grief you can cause someone well before anything will happen to you if someone wanted. How would you feel if the situation escalated?

If you think he is the sort who will back down if the garda get involved then night be worth doing but doesn't sound like he is.

ManOfMystery

It's true what they say - no good deed ever goes unpunished!

When you're dealing with someone who's irrational and constantly hostile, no amount of rationality you try to bring to the situation will ever make any difference. It's like trying to mix oil and water. So whilst I fully understand you were trying to do a good deed and your neighbour's response was wholly unjustified, I agree with *most* of the other posters and don't think there's any path forward here other than to just look after your own bits of grass cutting etc in future and leave him to his misery.

With that said ......... I could ignore the anger over the extension and grass and so on, but if I was in your shoes and he ever came out shouting at my son again, I wouldn't hold back in giving the c**t a piece of my mind.

seamus

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

You'd be surprised how many people think they own a bunch of the land at the front of their house. It's especially common with people thinking they own the street parking in front of their property, causes all sorts of arguments.

Yep.

People are really odd about these things. When we moved in, the entire garden between us and next door was shared. The other neighbour had been cutting the entire thing for years and remarked she was relieved that someone else can do half of it now.
First thing I did was remove half of my side and a flower bed, and replace it with stones, so we could actually park in the driveway and not have to walk in mud.

I should also note that this neighbour is out religiously every week cutting the grass in the summer. Once a week, every week. I have young kids. I might get time to get out and cut it every 2nd week.

So for the most part she was still carrying the load on the front garden. But when I put down the stones, she progressively stopped cutting over our side, further and futher. Until she was leaving half of the garden uncut. Whatever.

Then they asked to build a wall down the front garden. "Oh this is nothing personal, we'd been thinking about it for years, but never had the money!". Sure, whatever.

Still the grass cutting, once a week, every week in the summer. She did the verge out the front. I never bothered because it was never long enough to need cutting.

Then we built an extension. And after a number of very rude and entitled texts from her about it, relations became that bit frostier.

This year I saw that half of the grass verge out front had been left uncut. I do the whole verge when I go out now. I won't get drawn into the petty bullsh1t.

Oddly enough, we share a "parking" space out front, and it's never been a problem. There's an unspoken "first-come" agreement in place, and everyone's cars move often enough not to piss the other side off. Sometimes the space is completely empty because everyone decided to park in the driveways. We've never had a single word said about it to eachother. Funny how things work.


If I was the OP, Id be inclined to assume there's some form of substance abuse at play here to explain the completely off the wall reaction. So I'd be looking to call into the neighbour and time it for when he's not half-cut. The purpose would not be an argument but to try and come to an understanding; because you don't want to spend the rest of your time running in and out hoping not to see him. I'd rather know for definite that I'm on ****ty terms with a neighbour than spend my time hoping not to bump into them. At least then you could actually ignore them without feeling uncomfortable about it.

If it's not substance abuse, then it's mental illness and the Gardai is your only way forward. It's all well and good to say, "Ah sure just keep out of mad Tom's way and nobody will come to any harm", until the day that he comes out and punches one of the kids or kills someone's dog with a shovel. He's a clearly dangerous person, and ignoring him and leaving him be is not the appropriate response. It's the Irish response, but that rarely turns out for the best.

RobAMerc

yesterday, my neighbour on my other side came out and cut his grass and his adjoining neighbours. Imagine that, what an ignorant prick !

I've decided I am going to leave the flowers around the tree. Its not his land to tell me what to do with it. fook him.

valoren

What's wrong with him? Who cares. You certainly shouldn't.

I would ignore him and continue doing what you've always done, what EVERYONE else in the estate does. If he comes out again, completely ignore him. If he screams abuse, go about your business continuing to deliberately ignore him, if he lays a finger on you then give him the hiding he's probably been asking for for years. Pricks like that thrive on indifference. By acquiescing to his abuse you've just enabled him making him think he can abuse you like that and get away with it. You've gotten it reported with the guards, you're not doing anything wrong and ignore this prick until he does something stupid like put a hand on you. A few punches to his head, and the promise of more and he'll never bother you in any meaningful way again. And ignore the violence is not the answer/you could get into trouble rubbish. If he can dangle a footlong weapon in your face acting like a mad man he certainly has it coming. Reporting it will be beneficial as you're obviously not hot headed. Sounds to me like he's been looking for any excuse to have a go at you no matter how negligible or pathetic that excuse was. If not the grass now, it will be the you removing the flowers next....

leggo

I don't know if it's an Irish thing but I find it mad we've got this far without someone pointing out there's a lot to be said for just standing up for yourself.

If he's not a scumbag, there's a really minuscule chance he's going to beat you up with a file in broad daylight outside his front garden. That would be assault with a high chance of being witnessed and you obviously know where he lives to press charges. So all of that anger is bluster and dramatics in reality. I get how, in the moment, it can be shocking and paralysing, but understand that for the future.

Cut your margin if you like, he's no right to demand you stop. If he gives out like this again say, "Listen mate, you need to calm yourself down, you're making a scene over absolutely nothing. This grass is not your property, feel free to go to the council and ask if you don't believe me, and I'm making sure the road looks nice by cutting it. If you have an issue with me, we can talk about it calmly and sort it like adults. If you want to agree that you cut it one week, I cut it the next, that's fine too, but it'd look stupid not cutting it all in one go. But if you come at me like this again like an absolute headcase, I'm going to the Gardaí." If he goes at you again with stuff like "Do you think you're better than me 'trying to keep the road nice'?" or anything like that, just minimise and shut all that down and stick to the point calmly but assertively. He's almost definitely not going to attack you and this way you're not escalating it in a way that makes that more likely.

Doing that once will probably resolve it. It makes him feel accountable for the way he's behaving, how it appears to others and what can happen if he continues, gives him an option to resolve things not involving threats or violence and reminds him he has no right to act this way. The less likely option is that he backs down, apologises and you can build a civil relationship as neighbours. But the most likely option, again if he's not an absolute scumbag, is that he grumbles, realises he can't bully you and keeps his mouth shut in future.

LegacyUser

RobAMerc wrote: »

he'd previously been quite aggressive when he came in to complain about an extension we were building. I agreed to do only what the council allowed, the council were out and we complied with the regs, nothing major. I have tried since to be cordial with him and always say hello. We've had 1 or 2 chats - not much, but I have tried.

you have no choice but to do "only what the council allowed,"