Work "friends'

Keepitclean

Thanks all for the replies. I will take them on board. I think best thing to do is move on and not over think it.

Thanks all who replied.

Ferajacka

I've been there a few times op.Try to remember it is work and hopefully you have friend "friends" outside of work.
Try to ensure your work does not suffer because of it. I.E If you have shy'd away from your team mates socially, don't let it allow you shy away from work items, meetings, issues etc..

Cooper89

You shouldnt have to put up with this at all. This is bullying plain and simple. Dont let them get to you. Id say it straight out. Horrible thing to do to someone. Makes my blood boil.

bertsmom

In your post you say ye get on together and go to lunch together and have a laugh. That makes me think your completely over thinking this whole thing.
First off its work, these people are your colleagues not your personal friends and by you saying ye get on I'm thinking they are perfectly friendly colleagues.
They are not obliged to be friends with you.
Sometimes you know perhaps a work colleague wouldn't appreciate your humour or share any of your interests so you naturally gravitate towards the more like minded individuals at down time.
Doesn't mean they dislike you they just probably have more in common with each other.
People at work don't always make a great fit as personal friends and that's ok as long as the work gets done and everyone is polite and works well as a team thats all thats necessary.
Its great when people do develop a friendship but thats can also be a minefield at work but can lead to friendships lasting long past jobs.
It is not anybody's fault if the others get on better on a more personal level as long as you are included in the work and it seems also at lunch just chill out and get on with your own thing what they do outside of work or how they communicate isn't really any of your business.
Don't exclude yourself that is just childish. Just do the job in hand and collect your wages. Spend quality time with your actual friends

Batgurl

It really depends how they are conducting themselves at work. If they are being unprofessional, cliquey and ostracising then it’s your/their managers job to bring them into line.

If you are just upset because you want to go for coffee with them or be involved in personal jokes, then that’s more on you.

Take a step back and look at it objectively from a manager with no inside knowledge of your team. Would a manager like that see their behaviour as being detrimental to the company? Or would they see you as being a bit of a snowflake? If it’s the former, lodge a complaint. If it’s the latter, then you need to get a thicker skin.

FWIW I pity people who’s work friends are their life. It usually means they have less of a personal life outside of work and ultimately, when one of the clique gets a promotion or new job (which realistically usually happens every year or 2) the clique gets diminished.

Work your min. hours and then leave on time and go off and do your own thing. When a clique invite you for after work drinks or similar, you can just smile and say “sorry I have plans”. Personally knowing you have a full and happy social life will make you care less about others BS.

qwerty13

If it all seemed to work ok up until you found out about that WhatsApp group (as in you all worked fine together, went for lunch or coffee sometimes), I think it sounds like it is a good working relationship.

Maybe they are just better friends with each other than with you. Could be any number of reasons - worked together longer / shared interest in sport or whatever / an off colour humour in the WhatsApp group that they would think twice about inviting someone else into / could be an old WhatsApp group they've had for years, which they just haven’t thought to now include you in.

I don’t think excluding yourself from things is the way to go.