What's for you, won't pass you..

LeVaterIzVet

I'm at a bit of a crossroad in my life at the minute, and the more things transpire, the more that I believe that certain paths in life are already set out for us.

I realise that it sounds like I'm talking absolute gibberish here, but I'm interested to hear from people who feel as if their lives have followed a similar path. Take for instance, several weeks ago, I was called for an interview for a job in a firm that I have longed to work in ever since I began my studies in law. It's considered to be the crème de la crème within the legal industry. There was, however, one caveat. The particular job in which I was due to interview for didn't exactly match my career aspirations, and I would have been taking it in the hope of securing a training contract somewhere down the line. The morning of the interview, which was at 9:30am and a 3 hour drive away, I realised that I had a flat tyre. I raced to the nearest train station, bearing in mind that I live in rural Ireland, but I missed the train by literally 2 minutes. I was devastated. I explained what had happened to the recruiter who had set me up with the interview, but she ceased contact with me immediately and the position was filled.

After I was finished feeling sorry for myself, I resumed the job hunt. That night, I stumbled across an in-house role with one of the largest companies in Ireland. The deadline for the application was 45 minutes after I had found it, so I rushed through it and completed it with 1 minute to spare. Fast forward 3 weeks and I'm one of the final 4 candidates for the job. Not only would this job be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but it would also put me 10x further in my career than the original job I mentioned earlier would have. Is this fate? I suppose I'll have to wait and see if I get it first! lol

I'd love to hear whether or not you believe that certain paths in life are set in stone, or if maybe it's all just down to chance?

honeybear

Tipsy here so probably not best advice but, I agree with this saying

Pretty Polky

Locked here and I also concur.

katiek102010

Yup sliding doors moment's. I fully believe in them x

Jenneke87

First of, congrats for getting that far. I don't know how I feel about that saying: who decides who gets what? A Christian God, the universe, Buddha, Odin maybe? And if so, why do some people seem to have far more luck(y breaks) than others? I would think that if there is some force out there that directs these things it would have a better sense of justice and distribute it more evenly?

368100

I have examples of same from my own experience re jobs, buying house.....few other things I wouldnt mind slipping into place though!

OldMrBrennan83

Nah, it's hogwash.

BBFAN

Definitely believe in this phrase, there have been so many moments in my life when I've thought "what the fcuk is going on", only to realise later on that what happened was definitely meant to happen.

I will add a caveat to that, sometimes we fcuk things up all by ourselves and that's our fault.

whiskeyman

Hindsight is always great to give you comfort.

At the time, life can be a bitch.

buried

LeVaterIzVet wrote: »

After I was finished feeling sorry for myself, I resumed the job hunt. That night, I stumbled across an in-house role with one of the largest companies in Ireland.

I think you make your own way in life and you did it there by getting back on the hunt to make it happen. And fair play to ya too.

biko

TLDR but I hope things work out for you OP

mycro2013

Calm down, there are still 3 more candidates in the running. This thread may be a bit premature.

Pretty Polky

All jokes aside I do firmly believe that saying.
Been times in my life when I have questioned the powers that be and it has in hindsight I can say that they were not meant to be.
Hope it works out for you too x

This is it

I often say, good/bad luck, and other such phrases, but in all honesty I don't believe in luck or what's meant to be will be, etc. We make our own way in life, you get to partly decide what happens due to your actions, the rest is due to the actions of others. No good or bad luck, no fate or destiny.

Badly Drunk Boy

BBFAN wrote: »

I will add a caveat to that, sometimes we fcuk things up all by ourselves and that's our fault.

So if it turns out well in the end, it's fate or 'the Universe', but if it it doesn't, it's our own fault for messing up?

The Rape of Lucretia

The phrase means bunkum. The human mind is vulnerable to superstition in its attempts to see pattern or purpose. And often sees it when it isnt there.
What you describe worked out well for you, but thats just the way the cookie crumbled.

BBFAN

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

So if it turns out well in the end, it's fate or 'the Universe', but if it it doesn't, it's our own fault for messing up?

Nope, that's not what I said at all, but you know that I suspect.

Sometimes things turn out crap for no good reason we can see at the time, like the OP's example. OP didn't cause the flat tyre.

Sometimes they turn out crap because we fcuk up ourselves, like if the OP had a rake of pints the night before the interview and didn't wake up in time.

See the difference. One is out of our control, one is in our control.

Still waters

I really hate that fcukin saying, it's up there in my all time hate list with people who believe in karma and people who send thoughts and prayers

o1s1n

It's amazing how people constantly try to attribute reason and meaning to randomisation.

Good look with the interview OP. If you get it remember that it was nothing to do with 'the universe' and all your own efforts.

tupenny

Go you!
?

storker

It is tempting to think like that, and I've certainly wondered about such things at times, but what I can never get away from is the huge number of people who never seem to have that guiding hand working for them. The victims of oppression or crime or just plain old grinding, never-ending poverty, which is the lot of so many throughout all of their lives with no invisible guiding hand to lead them to something better.

What you are really seeing OP is, I suspect, a combination of where you were born, who your parents were, your own background, education, aptitudes and personality, and a chain of decisions going back years that has brought you to where you are now. This isn't a bad thing, of course, and if you are successful, you have every right to be happy about it, because you've earned it, but I'd be careful about attributing it to fate, karma, God's plan, or whatever, lest you come to rely on it instead of what has really brought to where you are.

And, while not wishing to be a wet blanket, you're not there yet, so it's still a bit early to be inventorying the poultry.

Ursus Horribilis

There are times when I wish it was true! I don't believe in it either. We're all guilty of trying to find meaning, logic and patterns in the most random of things. Be it seeing Mother Teresa's face in a slice of toast or reading horoscopes or finding coincidences in all sorts of things. I think religion is a manifestation of this. Why is it that all over the world, people have gods they worship and think that by praying, they can change an outcome?

bucketybuck

The single most useless, moronic saying ever, and in the facebook era that is saying something. Anybody who actually believes that crap might as well put a little sign on their head saying "I am a moron who can't figure out what really happened".

cajonlardo

LeVaterIzVet wrote: »

The morning of the interview, which was at 9:30am and a 3 hour drive away, I realised that I had a flat tyre. I raced to the nearest train station, bearing in mind that I live in rural Ireland, but I missed the train by literally 2 minutes. I was devastated. I explained what had happened to the recruiter who had set me up with the interview, but she ceased contact with me immediately and the position was filled.

Why didn't you change the wheel?
(if you drive a car without a spare why no tyre weld?)
You choose to believe you weren't in control and there is some kind of pre-ordained path. In reality you did not allow time and had not planned for your problem.

Other people would check their car on plenty of time and also have planned an alternative way to get to an important interview. I would plan to be in the vicinity of an interview a full hour Earlier. Sit in a coffee shop and relax.

Point I'm making isn't trying to be a smart Alec but you can plan for most unexpected circumstances or you can believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. Either way, to para phrase Henry Ford, you are right.

John DoeReMi

I spent many years trying to find a suitable partner and there was one particular "dry spell" in my late 20's /early 30's which left me in despair of ever meeting anyone. Well meaning friends would try and comfort me with nonsense like this, "there's someone for everyone" etc.

In the end I just kept plugging away and working to improve my chances - honing my social skills and joining various social/online/dating groups with a high ratio of single ladies. It paid off in the end.

I do have certain spiritual beliefs which I used to help me in life but don't rely on supernatural forces for anything.

Hoboo

8 posts

3 Threads started

Same subject

Lorelli!

I don't use that saying but I don't think it's a bad one or a bad way of thinking. My mam always says 'Everything will be alright in the end' or 'See? Everything worked out ok.'

It's not karma but they're just little comforts that we give ourselfs or others if something didn't work out the way we thought.

Hope you get the job op!

zuutroy

Tell that to the journalist who died the other night, or the literal billions that live an absolutely miserable life. Why is that 'for' them?

Bandana boy

Good luck in your job interview
But the thoughts that somebody who has the power to align the cosmos to get you a slightly better job , is sitting by idly while ~29 children under 5 are dying every minute is appalling.

Fizzlesque

LeVaterIzVet wrote: »

I'd love to hear whether or not you believe that certain paths in life are set in stone, or if maybe it's all just down to chance?

No, I don't believe certain paths in life are set in stone, but I do believe that sometimes things can work out better for you when they appear to 'go wrong' than they would have if they had 'gone right'.

Sometimes taking the road to the left instead of to the right brings us to the same point in the end, and sometimes the opposite happens with each choice leading to two completely different end points. There could be a temptation to view the first result as being an example of what's for you won't pass you, but I don't believe that to be the case.

15 year ago, I was looking to buy somewhere to live and had been viewing apartments - none of which were really appealing to me. I wasn't even thinking about houses, believing them to be beyond my reach. At that time in my life, every evening, as soon as I got home from work, the first thing I would do was make a mug of tea and a very large spliff. Having decided I needed to make some changes in my life, as it had become a bit stagnant, I made the decision one evening to do things a little differently. Instead of skinning up straight away, I would go to the supermarket, buy some ingredients, cook myself a lovely dinner, clean up and THEN make my daily spliff. Seems like not much of a difference but when I went to the supermarket, I bumped into two friends I hadn't seen in a long time and they were on their way to visit a mutual friend who had recently bought a house. They invited me to join them, which I did.

When we got to this friend's house I realised I hadn't even considered that area at all when searching for a place to buy, so the next day I looked online and saw my now-house for sale, and it was within my budget - the only two bed house among three and four bed houses. I put in a bid and before long I got the keys. I am still in this house and I absolutely love it. I have a great friend living nearby and have become a big believer in the power of small changes to help make bigger changes in your life.

I doubt any of this would have happened if I hadn't made that one tiny alteration to a routine that had become a bit too ingrained for my liking.

I hope you get the job, LeVaterIzVet, and I hope it turns out to be every bit as good as you imagine, if not more

Pac1Man

I hate the saying. It's right up there with:

"If you don't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" which kunts say..

and..

"It's his/her/their loss" following the breakup of some kind of professional or personal relationship. Really? How do you know? Maybe the other party are a lot happier now than they were before?

I'm sure there's more but it's an instant way of recognising the more dim people we share this life with.

Well done though OP! You could surely attribute good or bad luck to your situation but give yourself more credit; people who make good life decisions make it far.

Someone else in your situation may have missed the interview and sulked away for a couple of months feeling sorry for themselves, missing the opportunity you now have.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Jenneke87 wrote: »

First of, congrats for getting that far. I don't know how I feel about that saying: who decides who gets what? A Christian God, the universe, Buddha, Odin maybe? And if so, why do some people seem to have far more luck(y breaks) than others? I would think that if there is some force out there that directs these things it would have a better sense of justice and distribute it more evenly?

I used to think like you OP but I think the above post is closer to the mark. Life is entirely random, you might be lucky, you might not be.

Lucky is relative and everyone has their own perception of what luck is. Mine is good health and happiness, everything after that is a bonus. Others believe wealth and money are the key to their luck.

OP you were lucky, one door closed but another opened which suited you better.

Keep us posted on how you get on in the final stages and good luck.

bucketybuck

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I used to think like you OP but I think the above post is closer to the mark. Life is entirely random, you might be lucky, you might not be.

Lucky is relative and everyone has their own perception of what luck is. Mine is good health and happiness, everything after that is a bonus. Others believe wealth and money are the key to their luck.

OP you were lucky, one door closed but another opened which suited you better.

Keep us posted on how you get on in the final stages and good luck.

"The harder I work the luckier I get."

orourkeda1977

That saying is horse plop.

I've missed stuff, lost stuff and had stuff taken from me that I worked for and earned.

Ursus Horribilis

The only phrase more slappable than that is "At least you have your health"

ToddyDoody

LeVaterIzVet wrote: »

I'd love to hear whether or not you believe that certain paths in life are set in stone, or if maybe it's all just down to chance?

It's not really down to chance or, to be more specific, that there's millions of endless possibilities.

I happen to be like my dad in a number of ways and it has consistently turned out that the most profitable / rewarding optons have been the ones on a the similar course.

This is a good thing in a way. For instance, I'm not too insecure in a job that works alongside people on less pay and conditions who actively aspire to what I'm doing because, despite all else, the basic character structure seems to fit it and I have seen cleverer people than me make incredibly hard work out of exactly same thing.

Nekarsulm

Why didn't you just put on the spare wheel?
If it was a 3 hour journey surely you had 15 minutes wiggle room?

TG1

I hate that phrase. If I get where I want to in life it will be down to my own grit, determination and hard work. If it's for you don't let it pass you is how I like to think.

Ten Pin

Had an interview for a job I didn't want a few weeks back.

Wasn't too bothered so just went through the interview without making much effort while still remaining professional with answers to questions I was asked.

Anyway, made my way back home thinking I had no hope of getting the job.

A week later the agency rang to say I didn't get the job but the company had another role available at double the salary so I accepted it and 2 weeks in it's going really well, it's a great place to work. My new boss just happened to mention that the job arose because someone else didn't turn up for interview and made a really lame excuse.

PS: On the way to the interview, by car, an absolute lunatic in another car overtook me at twice the speed limit (with a flat tyre) trying to catch the train that had already left the station. I guess that train wasn't for them because it had already passed them.

Roger Hassenforder

A load of b011ox really
Said post failure to achieve/do something, to justify said failure, to deny the responsibility for the failure to some universal preordinations or machinations. In this case, lack of preparation or cutting things too fine caused a missed oppurtunity. No grand scheme in play.


"Good luck" in the next interview OP.

LeVaterIzVet

Ten Pin wrote: »

Had an interview for a job I didn't want a few weeks back.

Wasn't too bothered so just went through the interview without making much effort while still remaining professional with answers to questions I was asked.

Anyway, made my way back home thinking I had no hope of getting the job.

A week later the agency rang to say I didn't get the job but the company had another role available at double the salary so I accepted it and 2 weeks in it's going really well, it's a great place to work. My new boss just happened to mention that the job arose because someone else didn't turn up for interview and made a really lame excuse.

PS: On the way to the interview, by car, an absolute lunatic in another car overtook me at twice the speed limit (with a flat tyre) trying to catch the train that had already left the station. I guess that train wasn't for them because it had already passed them.

Lol! I enjoyed that.

Gimme A Pound

No I don't believe it. It's a combination of what you do yourself, and chance. There will be really nice coincidences - like your situation OP (good on you for being shortlisted - very best of luck!) and Fizzlesque's story is great, love it.

They made a positive change themselves which happily had an equally positive domino effect, yet it might not have. Same with you resuming the job hunt instead of moping around.

Yeah, I'd like to think that it's true, like there's definitely an element of fate at play..
Unfortunately though, I think that whatever was for me might well have passed me by..
That was probably my own fault though partly anyway..a series of unfortunate events..
Hopefully it hasn't and it'll all work out.. not really holding my breath though..

This is it

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Yeah, I'd like to think that it's true, like there's definitely an element of fate at play..
Unfortunately though, I think that whatever was for me might well have passed me by..
That was probably my own fault though partly anyway..a series of unfortunate events..
Hopefully it hasn't and it'll all work out.. not really holding my breath though..

But the point of the saying is, what's meant to be *can't* pass you by. Whatever happens is for a reason and if it was meant to be it would have happened... You can't believe in the saying but also think what WAS meant to be HAS passed you, it's a complete contradiction.

This is it

This is it wrote: »

But the point of the saying is, what's meant to be *can't* pass you by. Whatever happens is for a reason and if it was meant to be it would have happened... You can't believe in the saying but also think what WAS meant to be HAS passed you, it's a complete contradiction.

I said I'd like to think it's true..