Do you ever just get up and leave?

Blush Proof

There were a few times recently when I felt it wasn't appropriate to argue back, so I just left. One of these was when I was in the canteen at work eating lunch with one of the middle managers. It was just me and her in the canteen and I never sensed we'd got along well. My probation meeting was due to come up and I knew she didn't like me.

She wasn't going to be present during the probation meeting, but I knew she had already had her chance to give her feedback about me to the main manager, and that anything she said wouldn't have been good. The main manager had been telling where I was slipping.

Anyway it was awkward enough as it was, but then she'd to go and say "you'll be fine... everyone else had to do a probation meeting as well". She said this twice. She was trying to make me relax when on the job so that I'd preform even worse and get fired. After the second time she said it, I just couldn't sit there and let this b1tch talk to me like I didn't know what she was up to. I had to leave. I made an excuse to go but she might have figured out why I coldly left.

The other situation I recall was when I was at a table with some college friends. A female at the table started ranting about her views on abortion. She was acting like she knew it all and was also over-simplifying the issue. She was effectively taking advantage of people's good nature and using us to get a load of waffle off her chest. I was tempted to argue back but the tone wasn't right. It was sort of a case of kill or be irritated! So I got up and left. The irritation reminded me that I'd other stuff to do anyway.

tayto lover

You come across as being of a very nervous disposition.

TheValeyard

/thread

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

You should have offered your seat to somebody else.

These are simple social interactions. You need to work on this.

gifted

I just left.

Signore Fancy Pants

Gets up.

Leaves thread.

buried

Why dont'cha make like a tree and get out of here

cml387

I was at a table once when someone was saying that marla was better than Lego. I got up and left (well toddled off really).

That was a while ago mind you.

andekwarhola

Blush Proof wrote: »

There were a few times recently when I felt it wasn't appropriate to argue back, so I just left. One of these was when I was in the canteen at work eating lunch with one of the middle managers. It was just me and her in the canteen and I never sensed we'd got along well. My probation meeting was due to come up and I knew she didn't like me.

She wasn't going to be present during the probation meeting, but I knew she had already had her chance to give her feedback about me to the main manager, and that anything she said wouldn't have been good. The main manager had been telling where I was slipping.

Anyway it was awkward enough as it was, but then she'd to go and say "you'll be fine... everyone else had to do a probation meeting as well". She said this twice. She was trying to make me relax when on the job so that I'd preform even worse and get fired. After the second time she said it, I just couldn't sit there and let this b1tch talk to me like I was stupid. I had to leave. I made an excuse to go but she might have figured out why I coldly left.
.

You did this to a manger just before a probation meeting based on the information you've provided here?

I manage a team and you'd be gone.

Church on Tuesday

It's very important that you can argue your case and not be a pushover but sometimes it's just not worth the bother.

So yeah, I have just got up and left and I really don't particularly care if the other party was offended or not.

beejee

Yep, have been at various things like dinner or meetings and just point blank left the table, no excuses or even words.

Life is too short to waste on unpleasant/boring/agitating people.

mad muffin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x0tQeOXmtk

Blush Proof

andekwarhola wrote: »

You did this to a manger just before a probation meeting based on the information you've provided here?

I manage a team and you'd be gone.

She was only a middle manager. What could she do? Imagine how petty she'd sound if she complained! She'd already had her say about my performance anyway, which was fine, but I did not like the way she was talking to me.

Hesh's Umpire

I (we) got up and left in the middle of some dreadful play in The Olympia one night. Fiona Looney wrote it. Only time I ever did that.

McMurphy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p8oeiVDcx4

WhiteMemento9

andekwarhola wrote: »

You did this to a manger just before a probation meeting based on the information you've provided here?

I manage a team and you'd be gone.

He would be gone because he made an excuse and left you at lunch? I am glad I don't work for you.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Blush Proof

andekwarhola wrote: »

You did this to a manger just before a probation meeting based on the information you've provided here?

I manage a team and you'd be gone.

No wonder there's so much tip toeing and sucking up to managers!

cml387

Blush Proof wrote: »

No wonder there's so much tip toeing and sucking up to managers!

Look at it like this. They are the manager. You are the managed.

Sometimes this seems to be a surprise to the newly hired.

WhiteMemento9

cml387 wrote: »

Look at it like this. They are the manager. You are the managed.

Sometimes this seems to be a surprise to the newly hired.

What has that got to do with someone saying they would fire someone for leaving them at lunch break? Do you know how pathetic that sounds.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I read it as more of an attitude problem in general and an inability to cope in simple social situations.

WhiteMemento9 wrote: »

What has that got to do with someone saying they would fire someone for leaving them at lunch break? Do you know how pathetic that sounds.

cml387

Yisroel Thankful Sociology wrote: »

I read it as more of an attitude problem in general and an inability to cope in simple social situations.

Looking at the OP's previous posts, the canteen seems to be a veritable minefield of social interaction.

Iwouldinmesack

Yisroel Thankful Sociology wrote: »

He doesn't say what the captions are saying?

WhiteMemento9

Yisroel Thankful Sociology wrote: »

I read it as more of an attitude problem in general and an inability to cope in simple social situations.

Good to know you are a mind reader and extrapolate out some mad capped notion from someone having to leave lunch early. Who the bloody hell reads these kinds of elaborate personal insights into a person's character based on the information provided by the OP. This conversation is bloody mental and you sound as unhinged as the OP.

Potential-Monke

I applied for the next step up in my job back in October as 1 position was available. Just before November they decided to change it to 3 months career experience and gave myself and a girl in the US office the positions. For the next 3 months, I done the vast majority of the work. I'm not blowing my own trumpet, it's fact and easily seen by the amount of replies I had and emails replied to compared to her. She even actively avoided work while I was in, and I caught her so many times being on a ticket and then going off it a few hours later, only for me to have to do it on her days off (shared ticket pool, customer care type role).

At the end of December they extended the experience out to the end of January. About 2 weeks into January, I had a terrible day where she was just doing nothing all day, not responding to agent requests (which I had to do when back from meetings/career development training). She asked for help on a couple of tickets but then went off them and I had to do them. I had enough that day (had some personal stuff happening at the time too). I saw another example of where she deliberately ignored her role and I snapped internally. At that stage there were 2 options as I was extremely frustrated, 1: Throw the monitor out the 4th floor window, or 2: leave. So I left. I just up and walked out. I shouldn't have, I know that, and I accept that.

Extended for another 4 weeks at the end of January, and everyone telling me that I'll be kept, I have to be, the only permanent person in that role was getting promoted. I had agents waiting for me to be in to ask me for help, as her advise was usually wrong/unnecessary. 2 weeks ago an email came out proclaiming her as getting the permanent role, I was going back to the agent role at the end of February. All because I walked out that day (due to her). Tomorrow is my last day in this role, and I'm back to being a normal agent again on Tuesday. The place is going to burn and I'm going to be smiling ear to ear when it does. I'm especially looking forward to not helping her anymore!

Even the full time lad who got promoted can't believe it. He works in the same office as her, and as per his job he is defending her, but he's close friends with one of the lads over here, and that's not what he says when not working, it's the complete opposite. If it's offered to me, I will accept with the normal pay increase plus 10%, because I know I'll be doing all the work anyway. Secretly hoping she can't cope (she can't) and quits. I've no problem doing it all myself, it's not hard work.

I did walk out of another job once, but I was done with the place, just up and left and didn't say anything to anyone. They didn't even ring me afterwards, so I'm sure they knew.

doolox

We once had a manager who would join our table in the canteen in an effort to be sociable with the junior workers. One worker resented this, regarding his lunch-break as his own personal time to be away from management as much as possible. We were on shift and all our breaks were paid, on company time so this is a grey area.

He simply got up and left the table in a very obvious and abrupt manner the minute the manager sat down.

The other juniors, including me just sat there and made small talk while we finished out meal.

On occasion some senior managers would meet juniors at the cash desk and offer to pay for their meals as a gesture of goodwill. We would then eat together while discussing things like morale, employee satisfaction etc. Many times they were simply looking for honest feedback on these subjects and mostly I was happy to oblige, without naming names or getting into specifics, which they respected.

I don't believe what that employee did was mannerly or politically wise or good for his career prospects but that was academic because all non-degree people were let go about three years after this minor incident.

Blush Proof

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I applied for the next step up in my job back in October as 1 position was available. Just before November they decided to change it to 3 months career experience and gave myself and a girl in the US office the positions. For the next 3 months, I done the vast majority of the work. I'm not blowing my own trumpet, it's fact and easily seen by the amount of replies I had and emails replied to compared to her. She even actively avoided work while I was in, and I caught her so many times being on a ticket and then going off it a few hours later, only for me to have to do it on her days off (shared ticket pool, customer care type role).

At the end of December they extended the experience out to the end of January. About 2 weeks into January, I had a terrible day where she was just doing nothing all day, not responding to agent requests (which I had to do when back from meetings/career development training). She asked for help on a couple of tickets but then went off them and I had to do them. I had enough that day (had some personal stuff happening at the time too). I saw another example of where she deliberately ignored her role and I snapped internally. At that stage there were 2 options as I was extremely frustrated, 1: Throw the monitor out the 4th floor window, or 2: leave. So I left. I just up and walked out. I shouldn't have, I know that, and I accept that.

Extended for another 4 weeks at the end of January, and everyone telling me that I'll be kept, I have to be, the only permanent person in that role was getting promoted. I had agents waiting for me to be in to ask me for help, as her advise was usually wrong/unnecessary. 2 weeks ago an email came out proclaiming her as getting the permanent role, I was going back to the agent role at the end of February. All because I walked out that day (due to her). Tomorrow is my last day in this role, and I'm back to being a normal agent again on Tuesday. The place is going to burn and I'm going to be smiling ear to ear when it does. I'm especially looking forward to not helping her anymore!

Even the full time lad who got promoted can't believe it. He works in the same office as her, and as per his job he is defending her, but he's close friends with one of the lads over here, and that's not what he says when not working, it's the complete opposite. If it's offered to me, I will accept with the normal pay increase plus 10%, because I know I'll be doing all the work anyway. Secretly hoping she can't cope (she can't) and quits. I've no problem doing it all myself, it's not hard work.

I did walk out of another job once, but I was done with the place, just up and left and didn't say anything to anyone. They didn't even ring me afterwards, so I'm sure they knew.

When you walked out, did it mean u left work early? You need to describe the actual walking out part better.

Why in the name of God did you help her at all?

Would you suspect it has something to do with the fact she's a woman that she's getting it?

cml387

By and large in my place, work talk is banned from the canteen. Gossip is fine, but any discussion about "how we should approach this problem, team" is right out , and anyone trying it would be quickly put in his place.

Blush Proof

doolox wrote: »

but that was academic because all non-degree people were let go about three years after this minor incident.

And was he non degree?

beveragelady

I can't be the only one waiting for the OP to tell Kate what's happening in terms of breakfast, can I?

r93kaey5p2izun

Theres a strong hint of both I'm eating my breakfast Kate, and also showing you're no pushover when you're sent out to get milk by your fat cousin at a funeral from this story.

doolox

The management were probably afraid of a discrimination case if a guy got the promotion ahead of the girl, especially a predatory, work dodging, exploiting girl like this one seems to be.

It could also be that you are overestimating your abilities and work-rates and that she is actually better at the role than she appears to be. Other amorous and ....ahem ... social factors may have come into play.

If you feel that aggrieved perhaps an abrupt change of job would be in order.

I saw this happen on more than one occasion when a hard working employee was passed over for a sycophant who was very good at office politics and an inveterate brown tongue. The place shuddered to a near halt when the passed over employee got head hunted to another division. The row he had with the former boss, when looking for sign off on the move, was priceless and a joy to behold.

The favoured sycophant lasted 6 months in the new role before being requested to leave the company. He wasn't even offered his old job back. Several orders were nearly lost and a lot of overtime and firefighting took place until a new worker was found to replace the original leaver.

It appears that patience is required here and , hopefully, the walking out incident will be forgotten or overlooked in the fullness of time. If the personal issue to which you refer was a bereavement or fractious relationship breakup perhaps a visit to HR requesting EAP services, if these exist in your company, could be used as a cover to explain you abrupt departure on the difficult day.

Potential-Monke

Blush Proof wrote: »

When you walked out, did it mean u left work early? You need to describe the actual walking out part better.

Why in the name of God did you help her at all?

Would you suspect it has something to do with the fact she's a woman that she's getting it?

I was working till 10pm, this was 5.30pm. I literally got up, in a huff, grabbed my jacket at walked out while muttering loudly 'F*** this sh**' and into my car. I proceeded to have a 20 minutes anxiety attack (thought I had got rid of that when I quit being a Garda, but it was the only attack in about a year, so pretty good imo). Then I drove home.

I helped her because it was my job and I wanted to make sure I looked good so I would be picked for the promotion. Backfired spectacularly!

And I suspect it has something to do with idiotic management. No one here can see why she was selected, if only because they couldn't give it to me for walking out and had no other choice. I know I screwed myself doing it, but it was better than getting fired for throwing a monitor out a window.

Blush Proof

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I was working till 10pm, this was 5.30pm. I literally got up, in a huff, grabbed my jacket at walked out while muttering loudly 'F*** this sh**' and into my car. I proceeded to have a 20 minutes anxiety attack (thought I had got rid of that when I quit being a Garda, but it was the only attack in about a year, so pretty good imo). Then I drove home.

I helped her because it was my job and I wanted to make sure I looked good so I would be picked for the promotion. Backfired spectacularly!

And I suspect it has something to do with idiotic management. No one here can see why she was selected, if only because they couldn't give it to me for walking out and had no other choice. I know I screwed myself doing it, but it was better than getting fired for throwing a monitor out a window.

I see. I don't relate as I never lose control like that.

If you're going to help her, you could at least do it in a way that she can't understand.

Those females are an absolute curse. Has a female ever asked you to fetch milk, OP?

You need to work on simple social skills, and you need to stop seeing minor interactions in terms of power dynamics. Sometimes a simple platitude is a simple platitude, not a terminal insult.

cameramonkey

andekwarhola wrote: »

You did this to a manger just before a probation meeting based on the information you've provided here?

I manage a team and you'd be gone.

Chelsea?

branie2

No

Blush Proof

cameramonkey wrote: »

Chelsea?

What?

dd973

Same situation again OP? Next time just repeatedly punch them in the face until your're dragged off them all red-faced, short of breath and burning up with self consciousness.

May not help your career prospects but everybody else present will have something to discuss in the pub later.

messy tessy

Blush Proof wrote: »

Anyway it was awkward enough as it was, but then she'd to go and say "you'll be fine... everyone else had to do a probation meeting as well". She said this twice. She was trying to make me relax when on the job so that I'd preform even worse and get fired. After the second time she said it, I just couldn't sit there and let this b1tch talk to me like I didn't know what she was up to. I had to leave. I made an excuse to go but she might have figured out why I coldly left

There has been alot of bonkers threads but this is simply mad.

pleas advice

*unfollows

andekwarhola

WhiteMemento9 wrote: »

I am glad I don't work for you.

Sounds like a mutually beneficial situation.

Franz Von Peppercorn

Princess Dirty Vegan wrote: »

Theres a strong hint of both I'm eating my breakfast Kate, and also showing you're no pushover when you're sent out to get milk by your fat cousin at a funeral from this story.

He’s got his own unique style for sure.

RhubarbCrumble

Stop saying 'preform'!

Strumms

If I’m on lunch at work and anyone comes over be it team leader, manager or colleagues and they start waffling about work issues I’d politely mark their card once, second time up and leave... it’s not acceptable during your break / rest period to have to listen to that stuff. Just say you are on a work break and when it’s over you will be happy to listen to their concerns / discuss any issues etc.

Mr.H

I kinda hope you get fired

garfieldsghost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ

Potential-Monke

Update: I was offered the full time position today! I guess they figured they couldn't let her on her own. Boom! Downside, I've to play nice with her now. C'est la vie!

Blush Proof

Mr.H wrote: »

I kinda hope you get fired

Grow up

Blush Proof

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Update: I was offered the full time position today! I guess they figured they couldn't let her on her own. Boom! Downside, I've to play nice with her now. C'est la vie!

So you're above her now?

Potential-Monke

Blush Proof wrote: »

So you're above her now?

Same level.