Dumped by my girlfriend today

mjv2ydratu679c

Will try to keep it short. Today my girlfriend dumped me as I didn't do anything for valentines day. We went for dinner last Saturday and I called over with a small box of chocolates last night and in 2 weeks I am taking her to Copenhagen for 3 days. She paid for her own flight but I will be paying for everything else, accomodation, food, drink and entertainment that will easily come to 1.5k for the 3 days there. But today I got dumped as I didn't do anything specific for valentines today. What do ye think?

EDIT. I should point out I am not taking her to Copenhagen for Valentines day I'm taking her just as a weekend away.

I'd be particularly keen to hear a female perspective

alchemist33

If thats all it takes, you're better off out of the relationship. Hope you get your money back from the trip, or find someone else to go with.

artanevilla

Bullet dodged.

Dalomanakora

I'm female, just saying that because you want a female perspective.


She's bang out of order. You're spending over a grand on treating her on a weekend away, you bought her chocolates and ye went for dinner. So what if it wasn't specifically on Valentine's Day? Why does the day you treat her matter so much? Surely she should just be happy to have a boyfriend willing to show generosity and thought?


Be glad, you've dodged a bullet.


For the future, discuss Valentine's Day with partners. I make it clear to mine that I don't usually celebrate but if they enjoy it, I'm very happy to participate in gifts and dinner (and reciprocate obviously!).


Out of interest, what did she buy for you?

mjv2ydratu679c

Dalomanakora wrote: »

I'm female, just saying that because you want a female perspective.


She's bang out of order. You're spending over a grand on treating her on a weekend away, you bought her chocolates and ye went for dinner. So what if it wasn't specifically on Valentine's Day? Why does the day you treat her matter so much? Surely she should just be happy to have a boyfriend willing to show generosity and thought?


Be glad, you've dodged a bullet.


For the future, discuss Valentine's Day with partners. I make it clear to mine that I don't usually celebrate but if they enjoy it, I'm very happy to participate in gifts and dinner (and reciprocate obviously!).


Out of interest, what did she buy for you?

Thanks Dalomanakora, she didn't get me anything. It was only a very small box of chocolates I bought

baby and crumble

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Thanks Dalomanakora, she didn't get me anything.

Pfft, I know it’s hard to hear but you’re honestly well shot of her. You sound lovely, brining her to Copenhagen and paying for everything there will cost a bomb it’s a super expensive spot.

Dalomanakora

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Thanks Dalomanakora, she didn't get me anything. It was only a very small box of chocolates I bought

So she didn't get you anything, but expected even more than you'd already gotten for her?


Even if we only think about the small box of chocolates, that's far more than she bloody got you!


Funnily, I didn't think she'd gotten you anything, that's why I asked.


She's a hypocrite and you deserve better than that.



Aside from her being a hypocrite, any person who dumps you over a gift instead of discussing it is a greedy git that you're better off without.


If she wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day, she could have told you. She didn't though, because discussing it would mean her also having to buy you a gift.

Johnnyhpipe

Christ almighty. Well done for putting uo with her to date. You dodged a bullet there!

mjv2ydratu679c

Dalomanakora wrote: »

So she didn't get you anything, but expected even more than you'd already gotten for her?


Even if we only think about the small box of chocolates, that's far more than she bloody got you!


Funnily, I didn't think she'd gotten you anything, that's why I asked.


She's a hypocrite and you deserve better than that.



Aside from her being a hypocrite, any person who dumps you over a gift instead of discussing it is a greedy git that you're better off without.


If she wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day, she could have told you. She didn't though, because discussing it would mean her also having to buy you a gift.

Thanks i don't think she didn't discuss it as she didn't want to buy me a gift. I said last Saturday I didn't believe in Valentine's day which is why she didn't discuss it

Blazer

Hopefully now you’ll steer clear of her op. As many said here you dodged a bullet. It wouldn’t surprise me if she decided to get back together just for the weekend away.

Sono

OP what age are you? Sounds ****ing ridiculous!

mjv2ydratu679c

Blazer wrote: »

Hopefully now you’ll steer clear of her op. As many said here you dodged a bullet. It wouldn’t surprise me if she decided to get back together just for the weekend away.

Ah no she's not like that, she's very genuine. She was upset today

wiggle16

Threads with titles like yours normally elicit a lot of sympathetic responses. You'll notice this one hasn't, because you don't need sympathy. She's done you a massive favour.

See if you can get the ticket changed to someone else's name, and enjoy Copenhagen

screamer

Ok I’m female too so here’s my take.

You are well rid, someone so materialistic like that will never be happy, and you’ll spend your life and money trying to meet her demands. How would a relationship built on that survive hard times, a job loss or illness where you couldn’t work to earn the money needed to keep her happy...... It sometimes helps to imagine into the future...would you be happy with her?

Go to Copenhagen, you’ve paid for it, enjoy yourself and take some time out.

sallyanne12

I have a feeling this "dumping" you is a tactic of hers to get you to come chasing her with gifts. Don't do that. Ignore her and move on. I would bet you she will come back looking for you and wondering why you're not trying to get her back. Seriously move on, she's a game player playing with your feelings like that. I'm sorry Op

Alf Veedersane

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Ah no she's not like that, she's very genuine. She was upset today

She's not mature enough for a relationship if, given everything else, she is ending it because you didn't get her something specifically on Valentine's Day.

She may be genuine somehow but you're likely to be genuinely better off without.

cannotlogin

It may not seem like it now but thid is the biggest warning sign ever of what she is like.

You are better off without the ungrateful wench.

Do not even consider taking her back under any circumstance - even if it costs you money.

Get as much of a refund as possible or bring a friend instead.

If this is her behaviour over something as small as a hallmark holiday, I dread to think how she would react over big things.

meeeeh

Blazer wrote: »

Hopefully now you’ll steer clear of her op. As many said here you dodged a bullet. It wouldn’t surprise me if she decided to get back together just for the weekend away.

Yeah I was just thinking that.

I despise Valentine's but even if I didn't I don't think breaking of with someone because they didn't bring you a gift on certain day is just not on. And it's clear there was no appreciation for other stuff you did for her.

mjv2ydratu679c

sallyanne12 wrote: »

I have a feeling this "dumping" you is a tactic of hers to get you to come chasing her with gifts. Don't do that. Ignore her and move on. I would bet you she will come back looking for you and wondering why you're not trying to get her back. Seriously move on, she's a game player playing with your feelings like that. I'm sorry Op

Thanks but I don't think that's it. She's just genuinely upset.

Pinch Flat

There’s better out there Op. chalk it down and move on.

wiggle16

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Thanks but I don't think that's it. She's just genuinely upset.

How long were yous together, OP?

Alf Veedersane

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Thanks but I don't think that's it. She's just genuinely upset.

That doesn't make it any better...that she's 'genuinely' upset.

She has no reason to be upset. Look at the list of things you did do and she's upset because they weren't on Valentine's Day itself?

Do me a favour!

mjv2ydratu679c

wiggle16 wrote: »

How long were yous together, OP?

Just over 3 months

lawred2

Better off

cannotlogin

How is her behaviour not a huge turnoff?

Why would you indulge such an entitled individual?

lalababa

If you love her you have to take the rough with the smooth. But she does need a kick up the hole.

screamer

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Thanks but I don't think that's it. She's just genuinely upset.

But why is she upset? Because your gift was not grand enough..... seriously OP, don’t make the mistake so many men do and think that a materialistic woman can ever be anything different. She is upset because of a gift she didn’t receive, if your relationship is as worthless as a bouquet of flowers to her, then forget it. Move on, in years to come you’ll look back and see that it was the right decision

odyssey06

Avail of this proferred escape from emotional blackmail while it is staring you in the face.

lawred2

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

Ah no she's not like that, she's very genuine. She was upset today

A genuine gold digger

Time for some self respect now and leave her to herself..

Hoboo

Sounds like she needed to instigate a row so she could spend Valentines with her other fella.

She'll be back in plenty of time before Copenhagen, and to get that gravy train back on track.

MissShihTzu

She dumped yoiu because you didn't buy her a specific Valentine's gift? Nah - don't believe that. The fact that your ex was apparently upset tells me there's another reason...

I wouldm't be fazed by it. Move on. Bullet dodged and sanity saved. You were only together 3 moinths.

Hope you find someone for the trip. Enjoy!

wirelessdude01

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote:

She's just genuinely upset.

She's genuinely upset over the fact that she is an absolute Muppet. Run and don't look back. GOLD DIGGER

Batgurl

Devils advocate

Did she know you were “planning” to pay for all the dining, entertainment, drinks etc?

You sound young and naive and she wouldn’t be the first idiot to panic about money and decide the best way out was to pull out and bury her head in the sand?

Look I’m not condoning what she did but I am advocating open honest communication which seems to be missing a lot from the tinder generation.

mjv2ydratu679c

Hoboo wrote: »

Sounds like she needed to instigate a row so she could spend Valentines with her other fella.

She'll be back in plenty of time before Copenhagen, and to get that gravy train back on track.

Thanks but there is no other fella. I can guarantee that 100%.

mjv2ydratu679c

Batgurl wrote: »

Devils advocate

Did she know you were “planning” to pay for all the dining, entertainment, drinks etc?

You sound young and naive and she wouldn’t be the first idiot to panic about money and decide the best way out was to pull out and bury her head in the sand?

Look I’m not condoning what she did but I am advocating open honest communication which seems to be missing a lot from the tinder generation.

I'm 43. She already knows I booked and paid for the accommodation and I told her iwaa going to use a bonus I got in work to pay for everything else.

screamer

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

I'm 43. She already knows I booked and paid for the accommodation and I told her iwaa going to use a bonus I got in work to pay for everything else.

What age is she.... I genuinely envisaged an 18 year old childish young woman.

mjv2ydratu679c

screamer wrote: »

What age is she.... I genuinely envisaged an 18 year old childish young woman.

No she's mid thirties

lawred2

Mod note:

lawred2, you have been around long enough at this stage to know not to challenge the OP like that in PI. If you've an issue, report it.

Wiggle16

MissShihTzu

Like I said. There's something else going on. I do not believe the split was over the lack of a gift...

vectorvictor

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

No she's mid thirties

Bullet dodged as others have said.

Does she like drama in general?

All will probably be forgiven in a few days ... Until next time you "fail to deliver"

Run, keep running and then run a little faster

screamer

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

No she's mid thirties

In that case RUN. She should know better at that age and have some maturity. TBH 3 months in and she’s milked you for a 1.5k trip away and dumps you because you’re not giving her what she feels she deserves.... she does come across as a gold digger.

mjv2ydratu679c

OK thanks all, I was just really upset and confused. A mod can lock this thread now as I get the general feeling

screamer

Dwayne Fluffy Spitball wrote: »

OK thanks all, I was just really upset and confused. A mod can lock this thread now as I get the general feeling

Hope you make the right decision OP better happy alone than miserable together

wiggle16

Consider it done.

Thanks & grma all who posted.