Anyone done a Foreign Wedding?

EagererBeaver

saoirse88 wrote: »

I was under the impression that having a foreign wedding worked out cheaper?

€165 pp is crazy.

What’s the norm in Ireland ?

That's because the assumption is that at the foreign wedding you have 30 odd people rather than, say, 130.

At a wedding in Spain, it's the full works. The pintxos and tapas are a meal in their own right, the cocktail reception or similar would be as good as any bar, the meal is a full on banquet and the standard will be way above what most hotels in Ireland will give you and a free bar is standard.

I've no idea what you'd get for 70e a head in Spain but I can't imagine it would be worth any caterers time.

Sono

EagererBeaver wrote: »

It depends if it's a load of Irish people abroad or a mixed wedding where one of those getting married is from the "foreign" country.

At a Spanish wedding, a couple attending would probably be looking at giving 250-300 euro. Generally no card though, very transactional and you're given the account details to drop the cash into.

It’s 2 irish people getting married, certainly no intention of giving 250-300!

Thanks for the reply

EagererBeaver

Sono wrote: »

It’s 2 irish people getting married, certainly no intention of giving 250-300!

Thanks for the reply

The "cover your head" rule basically applies in Spain as well. As mentioned in my other post, the individual cost is usually considerably higher due to more and better food, free bar etc.

Sono

I always thought you’d give less because of the expense you go to in the first place!

EagererBeaver

Sono wrote: »

I always thought you’d give less because of the expense you go to in the first place!

I'm talking about in general at a wedding in Spain. Whether you give less than normal because of the expense required to get there is up to you

splinter65

Sono wrote: »

I always thought you’d give less because of the expense you go to in the first place!

The only couples going abroad for weddings should be those for whom the extra financial cost to either themselves or their guests shouldn’t be a concern at all. The money shouldn’t be a factor for anyone. Everyone should just have the wedding they can afford. I’ve no idea why people stretch themselves to breaking point for one day out like this be it at home or abroad.

MaryWed

EagererBeaver wrote: »

I'm talking about in general at a wedding in Spain. Whether you give less than normal because of the expense required to get there is up to you

I don’t know of anyone that gives less than €100 a head, be it at home or abroad. I travelled to Australia for a wedding with 20 other Irish and everyone gave at least €100, and this is after €900 flights and accom of €500.

You would be seen as very stingy if you gave anything less.

Spanish Eyes

Look at future trends. I think a midday ceremony followed by a long lazy enjoyable lunch will be the way of the future myself.

OP I wish you well, you will get all sorts of advice etc. here, but most people mean well. Some dislike formula weddings (yep that's me) especially the trend for a three day event nowadays.

I happened to be a guest at an approx 80 guest wedding last year. Close relative. Was great. Ceremony in the hotel (Dublin) at midday, canapes and drinks for everyone, but not too much as we were going to lunch at 2.30pm or so. Fantastic afternoon, then the B+G went off at 7pm and left enough behind the bar for those who wanted to carry on the party, or feck off home!

Trend of the future I think.

Best of luck to you and your future spouse.

saoirse88

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Look at future trends. I think a midday ceremony followed by a long lazy enjoyable lunch will be the way of the future myself.

OP I wish you well, you will get all sorts of advice etc. here, but most people mean well. Some dislike formula weddings (yep that's me) especially the trend for a three day event nowadays.

I happened to be a guest at an approx 80 guest wedding last year. Close relative. Was great. Ceremony in the hotel (Dublin) at midday, canapes and drinks for everyone, but not too much as we were going to lunch at 2.30pm or so. Fantastic afternoon, then the B+G went off at 7pm and left enough behind the bar for those who wanted to carry on the party, or feck off home!

Trend of the future I think.

Best of luck to you and your future spouse.

I’ll be completely honest, we’d love to do something like that. I know people will say it’s your day so do as you please but it’s not that simple with family and friends.

If we have an Irish wedding, we’d need to invite well over 200 or else we’d be insulting people that have invited us to theirs etc, not to mention my own parents would think it was rude to the neighbors etc.

Both our parents are happy with the foreign wedding idea as it eliminates the need to invite those people, but we’re both conscious of the cost on others.

A wedding in Ireland with 200+ guests will probably cost anything up to and over €30,000. Which in my own opinion is way too much for one day for something no one really enjoys anymore.

I’m trying to figure out how much per head a foreign wedding would cost, somehwere that’s accessible and cheap and that way there’s no pressure on whoever can’t come, it gives them a great excuse to get out and also it keeps numbers down for us.

bucketybuck

It really sounds like you should have a small ceremony with only the very closest friends and family, and then throw a big party later on that anybody and everybody can go to.

Forget the dinner and all that guff that drives up the expenses, people arriving to a party at 7 or 8 don't need dinner, just somewhere with music and beer.

saoirse88

bucketybuck wrote: »

It really sounds like you should have a small ceremony with only the very closest friends and family, and then throw a big party later on that anybody and everybody can go to.

Forget the dinner and all that guff that drives up the expenses, people arriving to a party at 7 or 8 don't need dinner, just somewhere with music and beer.

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

Has anyone done this before? Where could you even have such a party for 200 guests without the meal etc?

salmocab

saoirse88 wrote: »

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

Has anyone done this before? Where could you even have such a party for 200 guests without the meal etc?

To be honest it sounds like your too worried about others in this whole thing, do whatever you want and f the begrudges it’s your wedding.
Friends of mine did it in NY with only two people there, when they got home they invited people to a christening party then told everyone it was actually a wedding party. So nobody had presents or had felt obliged to go.

saoirse88

salmocab wrote: »

To be honest it sounds like your too worried about others in this whole thing, do whatever you want and f the begrudges it’s your wedding.
Friends of mine did it in NY with only two people there, when they got home they invited people to a christening party then told everyone it was actually a wedding party. So nobody had presents or had felt obliged to go.

I know. But that’s easier said than done if you’re going to insult lots of people that have invited you to their wedding and also your parents really want their friends and neighbours there because they were invited to all their children’s weddings.

It’s really so offputting.

bucketybuck

saoirse88 wrote: »

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

Has anyone done this before? Where could you even have such a party for 200 guests without the meal etc?

I don't see whats odd about it. The first part, the small ceremony with only the closest friends and family, people do that all that time and the rest of the 200 won't feel miffed about missing it when they see how small and personal it really is.

The second part, its a big night out for people without all the boring bits, they are all invited so nobody feels left out, its still sorta formal with a venue and DJ so its not some afterthought, but its cheaper for you than the usual cliche wedding day because you skip out some of the parts that nobody likes anyway.

You get what you want, they get a party, who cares if one or two people think its not the way weddings should be done?

Birdsong

saoirse88 wrote:

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

To be honest people won't really be thinking about you at all, odd or otherwise.

I don't think many would be offended if they weren't invited to your wedding, it's really not a big deal to anyone other than you & your financee. Most people I know who have kids and responsibilities are relieved not to be invited to weddings.

splinter65

saoirse88 wrote: »

I know. But that’s easier said than done if you’re going to insult lots of people that have invited you to their wedding and also your parents really want their friends and neighbours there because they were invited to all their children’s weddings.

It’s really so offputting.

Nobody is going to be insulted. If anyone IS insulted then that’s their problem and not yours.
This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. You are approaching it as if it were a field full of land mines that you have to get across.
You and your fiancé discuss what kind of a wedding you would ideally like, and that’s the wedding you plan, finances permitting.
You are suggesting running away to Spain to avoid having a wedding you don’t want foisted on you by your own unfounded fears of unpopularity.
You are adults and you just tell your parents, who are also adults, what your plans are and let that be an end to that. If they try to guilt you into changing your plans then just tell them that that’s not what you want. Once again, if it becomes a big problem for them then they need to deal with that.
You don’t “owe” anyone a day out. You definitely don’t want to try to have a budget wedding in Spain. Just try to do your own thing and relax and enjoy it.

jlm29

saoirse88 wrote: »

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

Has anyone done this before? Where could you even have such a party for 200 guests without the meal etc?

My cousin did it a couple of years ago. Small, close family wedding and meal, and a big party that night. They had the ceremony and meal in a small hotel locally, and then had the big party in a marquee out the back of the hotel. Finger food, a band etc, it was more relaxed than a traditional wedding, way less hassle and expense for guests.
Another cousin got married abroad and had a party in the function room of the same hotel, there wasn’t as big a crowd, so the room was big enough for them. Hotel cater for parties for birthdays, wedding anniversaries etc etc all the time. A wedding party would be no different!

Cakerbaker

saoirse88 wrote: »

I love the sound of that but I think everyone we know would think we’re very odd to be doing that.

Has anyone done this before? Where could you even have such a party for 200 guests without the meal etc?

A friend had a civil ceremony and lunch afterwards with immediate family only. That night they had a big party in a hotel with over 100 guests. There was a buffet meal. It was a lot more relaxed than a typical wedding, most of us came from work (obviously got changed etc first) so there was no hassle involved / no need to take time off work etc. There were a lot less of the formalities of a typical wedding reception. Everyone seemed to have a great night.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Sono wrote: »

For anyone that has been to a foreign wedding what’s the craic with money in a card, is it looked upon differently cos of the cost to get there? Normally throw €200 in for an Irish wedding.

My OH was at a foreign wedding recently (I was sick so couldn’t make it. )

Apparently, everyone went with €100 for a couple type thing, as opposed to the more normal €150 or €200.

OP, I was looking forward to the above foreign wedding that I didn’t get to go to in the end. The only thing I would say is be honest about the costs to the guests. The groom of the foreign wedding I was invited to did the whole thing of comparing the most expensive Irish costs with the cheapest foreign costs. That was a bit misleading.

saoirse88

Faith wrote: »

We've been invited to a wedding abroad this year, our first one. I completely understand why it's abroad and I'm cool with that, but it was initially said to us as "Ryanair fly directly there and it's so cheap". Turns out, "cheap" still means the bones of £300 for us just for flights, and that's not with any bags. At a bare minimum, we'd need to take Friday off work, and do a Friday - Sunday trip. Considering it's a 3.5 hour flight, plus another 45 minutes to the airport on this side (probably the same on the other), that's 10 hours just travelling. Then there's two nights in a hotel, plus food and drinks etc outside of the formal wedding part.

On one hand, I really want to go because it sounds great. But my practical side is currently winning out and I'm tending to think that it's not worth it, particularly when I already have a hen party and wedding in Ireland (I live in the UK, so there's flights for both of those), and a major trip to the other side of the world booked as well.

I'm just posting this to give the perspective of someone who loves weddings and loves travel - I'm still unlikely to make the trip, but they're also not the closest friends we have.

We have priced both, the average Irish hotel wedding is roughly €60pp including 1-2 free drinks (wine at dinner/reception etc)

The price for something a little different, venue etc is coming in at around €90-€100pp with the same 1-2 free drinks.

The cheapest foreign wedding we have priced so far is coming in at around €150pp. This does include a 4 hour free bar, dj (€600 Ireland) and cake (€500 Ireland).

So it’s definitely not cheaper to get married abroad. Has anyone any experience on how to maybe get a really nice venue abroad but also not have it so expensive for meal etc?

breatheme

If you're looking in Catalonia, that'll drive up costs. It's one of the most expensive regions of Spain.

Try the south or maybe Portugal.

alexmalalex

saoirse88 wrote: »

Hi, I was wondering if any of the extremely helpful people on here have any advice?

Bascially myself and my fiancee want to try and get married close to Barcelona. It makes the most sense as it's somewhere we love to visit but also it's so accessible for everyone from Ireland with so many flights to El Prat and Salou daily.

I know it's a serious cost on everyone so that's also why Barcelona is appealing because return flights often work out at less than 100 euro. There's been a lot of weddings recently, within our group of friends and family, and they've all been in Ireland and quite a few have commented that they're sick of the typical Irish wedding now.

So we want to try and make it as cost effective for everyone involved. There's a venue we've been to in Rome, Borgo di Tragliata, and that would be exactly what we'd be looking for. Everything from accom to church is onsite and very reasonable for all the guests. The problem with this venue is we've been to a wedding there already and are due to go to two more in the next 12 months so we can't really book it. We need somewhere that has onsite accom for roughly 100-120 people.

What I'm wondering is, does anyone know if there is anything similar in or around Catalonia? Or somewhere else that's just as accessible and cheap? We've been searching but can't find anything.

Thanks in advance for any help

Quite frankly, I wouldn't go to the wedding. Flights, transportation, accommodation, time off work, childcare, dinners, walking around money, etc.

As another poster said, it puts too much pressure on people.

I don't think you will get more than 30 people, which means that they will expect a higher rate.

Sorry OP, sounds nuts

Spanish Eyes

Why not just do a simple Registry office Wedding for a couple of hundred quid here with your witnesses, have parents and siblings there too if you wish.

Then have an evening party for everyone a week or so later and do a pretend ceremony with lots of laughs. Record the Registry Office ceremony for posterity, and show it on a big screen. If that's your thing.

Everyone loves a party, it's the long day and the travel and expense that gets people fed up IMV.

At the end of the day, you cannot please everyone, so you gotta please yourself!

Very best wishes.

saoirse88

alexmalalex wrote: »

Quite frankly, I wouldn't go to the wedding. Flights, transportation, accommodation, time off work, childcare, dinners, walking around money, etc.

As another poster said, it puts too much pressure on people.

I don't think you will get more than 30 people, which means that they will expect a higher rate.

Sorry OP, sounds nuts

I completely get why people wouldn’t go. I’m saying that we’d look to book it on a bank holiday weekend so it wouldn’t affect time off for as many, also we would only book somewhere where the average return flight was coming in around €120 or less. We’d also want to put on a free bar etc as a thank you.

I would be absolutely delighted if only 30 came. It’s the numbers that are putting me off a wedding in Ireland. But with close family and friends of both me and my partner, we’d be looking at 80+ at a foreign wedding and that’s being ruthless with the invites.

I’d definitely be open to somewhere other than Catalonia. Has anyone here organized a foreign wedding for €15k or less (excluding honeymoon)?

LirW

Bank holiday weekend and cheap flights are usually exclusive unfortunately.
There are so many different ways to do a wedding but again, I think with your requirement you should talk to a local wedding planner, they deal with that sort of request all the time!
If you're open minded you can have a really nice wedding for 15k.

Listen, you don't have to justify yourself for wanting to get married abroad, this is what you wanna do and that's fine. You seem to be very well aware that this weeds out a few guests but if you see your big day in Spain, by god do it! You're going to regret planning a compromise-wedding to accommodate some of your attendants wishes.

Toots

I’d say you’d be better off avoiding a bank holiday because the cost of flights will shoot up. A lot of people may prefer to have to take a day or two off work rather than pay an extra couple of hundred for flights on a bank holiday. Also accommodation costs will probably be higher on a bank holiday.

theteal

saoirse88 wrote: »

I completely get why people wouldn’t go. I’m saying that we’d look to book it on a bank holiday weekend so it wouldn’t affect time off for as many, also we would only book somewhere where the average return flight was coming in around €120 or less. We’d also want to put on a free bar etc as a thank you.

I would be absolutely delighted if only 30 came. It’s the numbers that are putting me off a wedding in Ireland. But with close family and friends of both me and my partner, we’d be looking at 80+ at a foreign wedding and that’s being ruthless with the invites.

I’d definitely be open to somewhere other than Catalonia. Has anyone here organized a foreign wedding for €15k or less (excluding honeymoon)?

Saoirse, I'll PM you the price list for where we got hitched in 2015 - linked earlier in the thread. Cracking place, just a bit of work to get to.

SirChenjin

splinter65 wrote: »

Nobody is going to be insulted. If anyone IS insulted then that’s their problem and not yours.

This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. You are approaching it as if it were a field full of land mines that you have to get across.

You and your fiancé discuss what kind of a wedding you would ideally like, and that’s the wedding you plan, finances permitting.

You are adults and you just tell your parents, who are also adults, what your plans are and let that be an end to that. If they try to guilt you into changing your plans then just tell them that that’s not what you want. Once again, if it becomes a big problem for them then they need to deal with that.

It does sound a bit like that OP, that this is becoming something you are dreading rather than something you should be able to look forward to and enjoy.

Take everyone and everyone else out of the equation for the moment, sit down with the other main person involved ie your fiancé. Go away overnight or for a weekend maybe and have a good chat.
Decide what it is the two of you want for the day and go with that.

Whether that is a hooley in the parish hall, a wedding abroad, a full on all bells and whistles wedding or anything else in between.

I know all about the arguments and pressures that can be brought to bear on you, believe me. All those people had their own day. This is yours.

It's something you will hopefully only do once. Let it be the way the two of you want to do it.

All the best.

Travelbug18

saoirse88 wrote: »

I completely get why people wouldn’t go. I’m saying that we’d look to book it on a bank holiday weekend so it wouldn’t affect time off for as many, also we would only book somewhere where the average return flight was coming in around €120 or less. We’d also want to put on a free bar etc as a thank you.

I would be absolutely delighted if only 30 came. It’s the numbers that are putting me off a wedding in Ireland. But with close family and friends of both me and my partner, we’d be looking at 80+ at a foreign wedding and that’s being ruthless with the invites.

I’d definitely be open to somewhere other than Catalonia. Has anyone here organized a foreign wedding for €15k or less (excluding honeymoon)?

Hi, 2018 Destination Bride to Be here.

The benefit of a destination wedding is your gift is your presence. Destination weddings are very low key and a lot more casual then Irish Weddings. We are getting married in October and flights are much cheaper as its off season, the weather is still brilliant, the hotels/apartments are cheaper. (Avoid Bank Hols as price will go up and over priced) We have a budget similar enough to you - it is a little over. Our package includes everything bar a band and flowers. Everything else, dj, canapes, 4 coursee, 4 hours open bar, late buffet and wedding cake included. Absolutely no room for menu choice tho - everyone eats the same thing.

Our friends and family have never questioned our decision to go abroad but have been so supportive. We are getting married on a Sat so some people arrive the Friday and home Monday and others (alot of them) are going Wed to Wed. We made this decision to marry on Saturday so people can fly in Friday and home Monday if they are stuck for time. We were very worried when we started sending save the dates but we gave 12 months notice for Save the dates and sent our invites out in Jan. Plenty of time to decide their own holidays and see if it is possible. We thought the travel might put a lot of people off coming but we have been so surprised by the amount of RSVP's we have received along with the hotels they have booked etc.

There is one thing to remember when planning a destination wedding - those who want to go will go. They get a mini break in the sunshine with cheaper drink and food.

If you want any other info PM me and Ill fill you in on everything. I wont be able to help with the Spanish location but we are getting married where we have visited several times!!

Frozen Veg

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

OP,

You know as well as many others, that a Destination Wedding is quite expensive for the guests. I wish you well, but you may find many a decline to your invitations.

Just be prepared for that, and also putting pressure on people to travel abroad is different to travelling an hour or so within Ireland too.

There is the annual leave required for this, and childcare to take into consideration too.

Just think it through and suss out the availability of your guests before deciding anything big would be my advice.

FWIW there is no way I would travel abroad for a wedding unless I was sister/brother. And even then I would give the B+G the evil eye!

Would disagree with above.

Having been to weddings abroad, don't find they work any more expensive than Irish weddings.

Accomodation is much cheaper in places like Barcelona than an Irish hotel for a wedding.

Food and alcohol is much cheaper. Most weddings abroad put on an free bar as part of the package.

Will dwindle numbers but ultimately you end up with family and close friends which is ideal. Those who travel will plan it as a short holiday or weekend away.

Good weather almost guaranteed.