Is this cute or weird behaviour?

Banaba

Is this cute or weird?
Recently started seeing a guy but he moved about 50 min drive away for work. We used to work together and I am working the night shift tonight and he just advised me he plans on travelling back to the town of my place of work visiting and staying with a friend so he can see me on my breaks tonight. I don’t know whether to be unsettled or think it’s sweet?

GingerLily

He could be seeing his friend anyway, which wouldn't be that strange, but if his only reason to stay there is to see you at your breaks, then I'd be a little creeped out myself.

If you don't feel comfortable with it then tell him you'll see him another time, his reaction will probably tell you a lot.

Banaba

He said it’s because he wants to see me on breaks and even if it’s for 10-15 minutes he’s happy. He’s staying with his best friend. I told him it places pressure on me at work so he said he’ll just text me instead. Still though I’m mad now I’m actually mad because he know I stress during night shift and find them hard now I have added pressure

messy tessy

Banaba wrote: »

He said it’s because he wants to see me on breaks and even if it’s for 10-15 minutes he’s happy. He’s staying with his best friend. I told him it places pressure on me at work so he said he’ll just text me instead. Still though I’m mad now I’m actually mad because he know I stress during night shift and find them hard now I have added pressure

If it doesn't suit you to meet him then don't.

Really it is that simple.

Porklife

Sounds very intense, that would freak me out. If the roles were reversed you'd be called a crazy lady. How long have you been seeing him?

Idle Passerby

I think it's a bit overkill alright. Besides that he'd be making a total nuisance of himself trying to grab your attention when your at work. Breaks at work are for catching your breath, not for entertaining others.

zoobizoo

If you worked together in the past at the same place then he'd be used to spending breaks chatting with you, no?

He's making a big effort to go see you and when you've said that doesn't suit, he's said he won't call to see you

Dtp1979

Sounds like a total psycho. Imagine doing something weird like trying to make an effort to see the girl he’s probably mad about.

Banaba

It’s just the fact he’s travelling 50 mins just to see me for 15-30 mins middle of the night is it not a bit over the top possessive abnormal behaviour

Ursus Horribilis

What do you think?

messy tessy

Banaba wrote: »

he just advised me he plans on travelling back to the town of my place of work visiting and staying with a friend so he can see me on my breaks tonight

Did he just tell you he was going to do that or ask? To be honest I don't think I would be happy if I knew I was going to be stressed at work and someone just told me they wanted to meet during my break.

Although he could be thinking he is just being sweet.

Porklife

Banaba wrote: »

It’s just the fact he’s travelling 50 mins just to see me for 15-30 mins middle of the night is it not a bit over the top possessive abnormal behaviour

If he lived and/or worked nearby then I'd find it romantic and sweet but the 50 minute drive for a mere 15 minute catch up is what's freaky. Plus, you intuitive senses are telling you it's odd. I'm not saying he's odd, just that his behaviour is a bit odd and you're feeling uncomfortable. Talk to him OP. He's probably just mad about you and as the saying goes, love turns great men into fools.
Just talk to him but tbh, I'd find that way too intense.

t1h9mgqsxopj0r

Wait.... Hang on
You're seeing a guy you used to work with who has now moved away. Was visiting friends and knew you would be in work and taught he would spend a little bit of time with you on your break, possibly hoping to cheer you up and spend that small bit of time with you. He's splitting his time with you and friends and you're creeped out?
How long are you seeing this person?
You could always say no and tell this person you would usually have break time to yourself to relax and possibly see them again when you've more free time and less stressed?
But creepy? No I don't think it's creepy at all. They are making time to see you and taught they would cheer you up. You don't seem that cheered up about it so best bet, you don't find it creepy, more of an inconvenience.
We all get stressed from time to time in work but let the person show their affection and williness somehow. To you it might not be the right timing but to them they are probably think of how to cheer you up.

joeguevara

If you want to see him on your breaks and it makes you happy it’s a good thing. If you don’t want to meet him and feel smothered then it’s a bad thing. Are you going to stay with him after you finish your shift? Is that the reason he’s coming rather than 15 minutes.

What works for 2 people may be a nightmare for another 2. Only you can decide if it’s cute or psycho.

Banaba

Elora Rapid Greenback wrote: »

Wait.... Hang on
You're seeing a guy you used to work with who has now moved away. Was visiting friends and knew you would be in work and taught he would spend a little bit of time with you on your break, possibly hoping to cheer you up and spend that small bit of time with you. He's splitting his time with you and friends and you're creeped out?
How long are you seeing this person?
You could always say no and tell this person you would usually have break time to yourself to relax and possibly see them again when you've more free time and less stressed?
But creepy? No I don't think it's creepy at all. They are making time to see you and taught they would cheer you up. You don't seem that cheered up about it so best bet, you don't find it creepy, more of an inconvenience.
We all get stressed from time to time in work but let the person show their affection and williness somehow. To you it might not be the right timing but to them they are probably think of how to cheer you up.

No he wasn’t visiting friends he text me this evening to say he was coming to the area so he could see me and was going to split his time seeing friends while waiting for me

Cash_Q

Banaba wrote:

It’s just the fact he’s travelling 50 mins just to see me for 15-30 mins middle of the night is it not a bit over the top possessive abnormal behaviour

I agree it's over the top possessive abnormal behaviour, and if you think so yourself, then it definitely is.

Don't know how anyone can find this romantic? Breaks in work are short enough, by the time you use the bathroom, prepare your food and tidy up after yourself, your break is nearly up. Having to entertain a visitor is just added stress and wouldn't make for any sort of quality time together.

The fact it's a night shift too is extra weird. Will there be anyone else on the premises?

Banaba

I feel terrible now. I sort of gave out to him and told him I wasn’t comfortable with how extreme he went to try see me. He told me his decision was 70% wanting to see me and 30% because he has to travel to Dublin tomorrow and he is used to the transport system from this town. I feel I overreacted and treated him poorly like I Almost threw everything back in his face.

I asked him to come meet me earlier but he said it was a 20 min walk away and he didn’t want to disrupt my work so he would leave it until tomorrow instead

joeguevara

Banaba wrote: »

I feel terrible now. I sort of gave out to him and told him I wasn’t comfortable with how extreme he went to try see me. He told me his decision was 70% wanting to see me and 30% because he has to travel to Dublin tomorrow and he is used to the transport system from this town. I feel I overreacted and treated him poorly like I Almost threw everything back in his face.

I asked him to come meet me earlier but he said it was a 20 min walk away and he didn’t want to disrupt my work so he would leave it until tomorrow instead

Was he spending time with you when you finished work. If that was the case maybe he wanted just to show that it wasn’t just a booty call. It seems a bit immature to want to spend 20 minutes with someone on their break and is a bit like a 15 year old would do if they wanted the shift. I wouldn’t do it. I don’t buy the have to go to Dublin this. That doesn’t mean he had to see you on breaks.

Is he staying with you? How long are ye together?

When I was in college in cork and my girlfriend was in college in Dublin I used to hitch up on Wednesday morning and stay with her til sunday. Literally didn’t go to any lectures but still got a 2.1 looking back that might have come across as intense but it was amazing adventure for us. Wouldn’t do it now though.

Banaba

joeguevara wrote: »

Was he spending time with you when you finished work. If that was the case maybe he wanted just to show that it wasn’t just a booty call. It seems a bit immature to want to spend 20 minutes with someone on their break and is a bit like a 15 year old would do if they wanted the shift. I wouldn’t do it. I don’t buy the have to go to Dublin this. That doesn’t mean he had to see you on breaks.

Is he staying with you? How long are ye together?

When I was in college in cork and my girlfriend was in college in Dublin I used to hitch up on Wednesday morning and stay with her til sunday. Literally didn’t go to any lectures but still got a 2.1 looking back that might have come across as intense but it was amazing adventure for us. Wouldn’t do it now though.

No. He genuinely does have to go to Dublin tomorrow and has only recently moved last week to another area. He is not from Ireland so decided to come back to this town tonight stay with his friend and go from there in the morning as he is most familiar with the timetables etc. This is true and genuine.

He said it was 70% to see me and 30% to see his friend and make life easier for himself

joeguevara

Banaba wrote: »

No. He genuinely does have to go to Dublin tomorrow and has only recently moved last week to another area. He is not from Ireland so decided to come back to this town tonight stay with his friend and go from there in the morning as he is most familiar with the timetables etc. This is true and genuine.

He said it was 70% to see me and 30% to see his friend and make life easier for himself

Would it not have been a better idea for him to arrange to meet you after work rather than catching a couple of minutes. If it’s 70% to see you then surely he would want to see more. Is it a possibility he thinks you will ask him to stay with you if he rocks up at th breaks. Otherwise it’s weird.

Banaba

joeguevara wrote: »

Would it not have been a better idea for him to arrange to meet you after work rather than catching a couple of minutes. If it’s 70% to see you then surely he would want to see more. Is it a possibility he thinks you will ask him to stay with you if he rocks up at th breaks. Otherwise it’s weird.

No I think he just wanted to grab any opportunity to see me. My breaks are scattered and sometimes I can get extra time if it’s not busy. The last night I was working it wasn’t busy so I had long breaks maybe he though tonight would be the same

joeguevara

Banaba wrote: »

No I think he just wanted to grab any opportunity to see me. My breaks are scattered and sometimes I can get extra time if it’s not busy. The last night I was working it wasn’t busy so I had long breaks maybe he though tonight would be the same

I have never heard of anyone intruding at sometimes work to see them at breaks. Maybe in a bar a gf or bf will come down for a drink or something but in other situations no it’s not normal. Also, it’s strange that someone has quantified into percentages the reason they came. Why don’t you see them after work?

Big Bag of Chips

If he worked there before calling in on your break wouldn't be that unusual. And if he knows people in the area then he's killing two birds with one stone. We can all speculate but none of us know him like you do, and whether from what little information you have given us we think it's cute or creepy is irrelevant.

You obviously don't like it. If you were fine with it you wouldn't be posting about it. So tell him when you're on nights is not a good time to arrange to meet. But if after moving away you are seeing a lot less of each other maybe he thought this was a good idea.

You're the only one who knows what he's like. So you're the only one who can decide if he's being weird or not.

sbsquarepants

I don't really see the problem - he said "I'm doing this thing", you said "no, don't it doesn't suit me" and he said "ok, I won't do it so"

Honestly, what more do you expect from him?

LolaJJ

Well each to their own but I actually think this is quite sweet.

He''s not some random creep off Tinder, he's a guy you worked with and it sounds like he's making an effort to see you, when it's convenient for you.

He probably hasn't thought it will make you stressed etc, he probably just thinks the gesture will let you know that he's serious about you.

Anyway, if this simple gesture is bringing up feelings of stress, making you feel like he's too intense, bla bla bla - it's probably not going to work out.

In my experience when you genuinely like someone, at the start, you want to see them as much as possible and this kind of effort is flattering and exciting.

Maybe don't waste his time

wiggle16

Banaba wrote: »

It’s just the fact he’s travelling 50 mins just to see me for 15-30 mins middle of the night is it not a bit over the top possessive abnormal behaviour

But he's not. He's staying with his friend.

Its not obsessive, it just shows he likes you and wants to see you. He's probably afraid that having move so far away that yous will drift apart. If he will be nearby anyway and can see you then if he likes you its only natural he would take that opportunity. I'm sorry but that is not obsessive or weird.

You come across like youre looking to be told that it is weird or obsessive. If you think it is then fine, but then I think your attitude is the one that's a bit OTT itself to be honest.

Someone who goes out of their way to see you is not a bad thing. If they are smothering you its different. But this isn't smothering: it sounds like he likes you, but youre not that into him.

LolaJJ wrote: »

Well each to their own but I actually think this is quite sweet.

[....]

Maybe don't waste his time

Agree with the above.

Kerry25x

I think you're overthinking this to be honest. You've been seeing him for a while and you used to work together so you must know him pretty well, if he's never shown any other "creepy" behavior then this really doesn't merit your reaction.

brendanwalsh

Reminds me of the main character in the TV show You. Thread carefully OP.

Franz Von Peppercorn

joeguevara wrote: »

I have never heard of anyone intruding at sometimes work to see them at breaks. Maybe in a bar a gf or bf will come down for a drink or something but in other situations no it’s not normal. Also, it’s strange that someone has quantified into percentages the reason they came. Why don’t you see them after work?

Because the bf is going away tomorrow.

Nothing sinister here for me. It’s a night shift job. The bf is down for the night. This is the only time to meet.

suicide_circus

it can be taken as cute and romantic or weird and intense.

if you really liked the guy you'd probably find it romantic.

leggo

suicide_circus wrote: »

it can be taken as cute and romantic or weird and intense.

if you really liked the guy you'd probably find it romantic.

Yeah I’m with this, it’s a bit telling that you chose to see it that way. I’m not saying you’re wrong mind OP, you could be picking up on other micro-signals or you could be sabotaging and looking for problems where there are none. The reality is that this could be perceived as either sweet or creepy and you need to ask yourself why you said it was the latter. If it was because of stuff another guy did in the past or something like that, then it’s leaning towards self-sabotage. If it’s because you’re feeling iffy about this guy in general, maybe it’s time to deal with those feelings and make a decision.

Banaba

leggo wrote: »

Yeah I’m with this, it’s a bit telling that you chose to see it that way. I’m not saying you’re wrong mind OP, you could be picking up on other micro-signals or you could be sabotaging and looking for problems where there are none. The reality is that this could be perceived as either sweet or creepy and you need to ask yourself why you said it was the latter. If it was because of stuff another guy did in the past or something like that, then it’s leaning towards self-sabotage. If it’s because you’re feeling iffy about this guy in general, maybe it’s time to deal with those feelings and make a decision.

Self sabotaging maybe. I had a bad break up last April and since then have had no interest in dating anyone or having any relation with any guy. I was just being happy focusing on me and had no desire to date. Then this guy came along in October we started hanging out at work platonically (I initially told him I had a bf so he wouldn’t pursue romantically) but then things progressed we gradually becam closer. I do enjoy his company and do like him but I always feel like I need things to go at my pace and I want to lead. I know he likes me more than me him, he knows too, so I think that’s why when he initiated such an elaborate gesture I freaked

leggo

Be careful. Sounds near-identical to my last ex, (bad break-up, not ready to date but doing so anyway etc) and she ended up sabotaging it beyond any hope of repair, possibly even our friendship and we were really close. It’s going to hurt her more than me in the long run too because of how it went down. You’re in seriously dangerous territory here.

If you like him and ideally want to keep going, you need to open up, not bury these feelings and try force it or you will explode eventually. If it’s too much, then nip it in the bud for now, stick with it while you sort your head out and maybe you can reconcile down the line if you want to and do it right.

With your mindframe as you describe it, I’d also recommend counselling. You’re veering towards toxic in terms of how you see relationships - and that’s totally understandable as bad break-ups can do that if not handled with extreme care - counselling will clear that up if you embrace it. If you don’t get on top of this then you’ll end up either becoming a person you don’t want to be or back on here down the line after chasing off someone you really liked.

Banaba

leggo wrote: »

Be careful. Sounds near-identical to my last ex, (bad break-up, not ready to date but doing so anyway etc) and she ended up sabotaging it beyond any hope of repair, possibly even our friendship and we were really close. It’s going to hurt her more than me in the long run too because of how it went down. You’re in seriously dangerous territory here.

If you like him and ideally want to keep going, you need to open up, not bury these feelings and try force it or you will explode eventually. If it’s too much, then nip it in the bud for now, stick with it while you sort your head out and maybe you can reconcile down the line if you want to and do it right.

With your mindframe as you describe it, I’d also recommend counselling. You’re veering towards toxic in terms of how you see relationships - and that’s totally understandable as bad break-ups can do that if not handled with extreme care - counselling will clear that up if you embrace it. If you don’t get on top of this then you’ll end up either becoming a person you don’t want to be or back on here down the line after chasing off someone you really liked.

Thank you for your advice. Yes I do like and I tend to want to go so far then when it’s reciprocated I tend to stop and pull back. I don’t think it’s fair on him either so I think maybe I should speak with him and explain at least then he will know how I feel and I won’t be leading him along either

leggo

Yeah, identical to my ex. Pushed it forward herself then pulled completely back the opposite direction as it started to go well. This story ends badly, that’s not a good mindset for a healthy relationship. Be so so careful here and definitely bring him in on how you’re feeling.

Banaba

leggo wrote: »

Yeah, identical to my ex. Pushed it forward herself then pulled completely back the opposite direction as it started to go well. This story ends badly, that’s not a good mindset for a healthy relationship. Be so so careful here and definitely bring him in on how you’re feeling.

Thank you again. I will be careful. Just to add, maybe my intuition is telling me something maybe it’s sabotage. He is out of Ireland this weekend and I just happened to check to tinder location (something told me for some reason) and he was online as the location had updated.
This made me feel disappointed as he appears so keen and into me I didn’t expect him to be looking at the app when he only arrived in the country this morning and was out all day with his friend. I only ever check tinder once a week I hate it.

And again I told my friend and she made a sarcastic remark that she thought he would have deleted by the way he is so keen on me and also said ‘I highly doubt he’s actually talking to anyone on it’. So now I doubly confused and hurt by both her comment and the fact he was so quick to use tinder on a holiday


(Footnote: While we initially met at work we did match on tinder also)

leggo

You absolutely could be picking up on micro-singals, like I said earlier. But, to play devil’s advocate, if you were seeing someone and weren’t exclusive then kept getting pushback from them when you tried to move it forward...would you be examining your options yourself? Because we only ever get one side on PI, I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes to see what their argument would be, and I’d be the type of person who wouldn’t even look at Tinder if a first date went well...but I could absolutely see myself being like “Look don’t hang your hopes on this one and see what else is out there” if I was getting resistance for little sweet gestures like the one in your OP.

Again, your intuition could be dead on (and checking up on him already isn’t a great sign regardless tbh), but just to give the other side. The more you say, though, the more it sounds like it’s a good idea to call this one a day for now. It’s getting messy and toxic at a very early stage already with checking Tinder locations etc. I’ve said my piece on this though now maybe others will feel differently.

worded

How long Habe you been BF/GF ?

Are you certain he is actively checking Tinder abroad? That would be a deal breaker for me if you are both in a relationship

madmac187

Did anyone think the guy is just nice and he might just like you!!

joeguevara

If he has updated location then that is something that he actually had to take time to do rather than being bored and flicking through on auto pilot.

If you are boyfriend and girlfriend rather than something casual then that cannot be excused. Sounds that he might be a bit of a player and the meeting up at breaks and now this sounds way to strange for a propIf it’s more casual then you have decisions to make and rather than doing your head in have a chat and decide whether you want to continue.

Banaba

We are not bf and gf just seeing each other but he does seem to like me a lot he buys me chocolates never lets me pay for anything Is always complimenting me etc just really small things that indicate he likes me a lot. Hence why I seen he was on tinder while on holiday only a few hours makes me feel confused as to this guys intention. Because on one hand if he likes me as much as he portrays and texts me quite regularly then why would he even think to go on tinder

Banaba

madmac187 wrote: »

Did anyone think the guy is just nice and he might just like you!!

Then why is he on tinder hours into his holiday abroad

JoseJones

Banaba wrote: »

We are not bf and gf just seeing each other but he does seem to like me a lot he buys me chocolates never lets me pay for anything Is always complimenting me etc just really small things that indicate he likes me a lot. Hence why I seen he was on tinder while on holiday only a few hours makes me feel confused as to this guys intention. Because on one hand if he likes me as much as he portrays and texts me quite regularly then why would he even think to go on tinder

Maybe because you're not giving him any clear signal that you like him back. He's not a mind reader.

Cash_Q

I've no idea how Tinder works, but is it possible he was doing exactly the same as you were? Why is it ok for you to check the app once a week or so, but you're disappointed to see he's online?

Big Bag of Chips

You've admitted that he likes you more than you like him. You said he knows this. He has had to move away and tried to arrange to meet you and you said no (and started a thread about him being creepy, which we must assume he doesn't know about.. But maybe he's picking up these micro signals from you that Leggo mentioned above). He's nice to you, he gives you compliments, pays for you on dates, gives you little presents and gets very little back from you by way of confirmation that you actually want a relationship with him. And you still check Tinder once a week yourself.

If I was him I would certainly be keeping my options open. You are.

You are looking for something from him, that you yourself are not prepared to give. It sounds like you're setting him up for a test that he's destined to fail. Your previous issues are not his to fix. If you are not ready yet to be in a relationship then tell him. You can't expect him to 100% commit to a relationship with you, when you don't really want a relationship with him.

Edit: it really sounds like you're looking for reasons to finish with him. You don't need to build up a catalogue of reasons, if you're not feeling it after a time together then just finish it. I know it's difficult but he's moved away now so you're not going yo bump into him in work. Finish it, but don't blame him for it.

ginandtonicsky

I don’t think you’re into this guy and you’re trying to rationalise that with any reason you can find. Working as hard as you are to find fault with a guy and contradicting yourself all over the place is exactly the kind of behaviour someone would engage in when they’re just not feeling it with someone.

It also sounds like you’re not over your previous relationship and you’re projecting all over the place. I had a bad breakup too and acted exactly like this when I started trying to date way before I was actually emotionally ready to do so. Hot and cold treatment of someone, nit-picking, Uber defensive and one rule for them, one rule for me. I took myself offline, ended it with the guy I was seeing and spent another 6 months not even thinking about dating so I could properly process the breakup and build up my life again.

Dating apps are full of people that aren’t over their exes and are projecting all over the new people they meet and I’ve no time for it at all these days, I think it’s quite selfish behaviour. As someone else said, it’s no one’s responsibility to fix you or to pander to your issues when they’re getting very little in return. Maybe this guy’s spidey senses are up and he’s feeling weird vibes from you too and isn’t prepared to place any big bets on you.

My advice would be to delete the apps and do the hard work it takes to get over your bad breakup without the distraction of dating for now. It’s blatantly obvious it’s a non-starter with this guy.

Big Bag of Chips

Banaba, if you're going to finish with him just keep it simple. You don't need to go at him hammer and tongs. You've already had a bit of a go at him a few days ago. So he shouldn't be surprised that this is coming.

I'm just afraid if you have a go at him because of Tinder, that he might lose patience and you might hear a few things yourself that will just set you back. Don't let it turn ugly. You two were friends. Maybe it should have just stayed at that.

You tried. It didn't work out. It's nobody's fault.

wiggle16

Banaba wrote: »

Then why is he on tinder hours into his holiday abroad

Possibly because of the incredibly mixed signals he is getting from you, to be honest. Not having a go at you OP, but you need to look at this in totality, you're blowing quite hot and cold:

- You believed it was "over the top possessive abnormal behaviour" for him to meet you on your nightshift break. You were also understandably not keen on it because it was inconvenient and putting you under pressure.
- you told him you were uncomfortable with how intent he was on seeing you.
- you then felt bad and that you overreacted, and suggested meeting you earlier, which he declined.
- you know he likes you more than you like him. He buys you chocolates and pays for meals etc. You still check Tinder once a week or so.
- you went and checked Tinder and were disappointed when you saw he was online.

You're saying you're confused about this guy's intention, but you don't seem to know what you want yourself and admit you are keeping him at arm's length. Whatever confusion you are feeling, can you not imagine how he must feel?
That's without getting into the pot/kettle/who's blacker of you logging onto Tinder (which you don't even like), yet when he does it, you are annoyed and say you are hurt.

I think you should really call it quits if you aren't that bothered about him, and I don't think you are. And that's okay, you don't owe him anything. But you are not being fair to him at all. You know he likes you, but you want everything on your terms because you're still not sure about him and still not sure you want another relationship. He clearly wants a relationship with you, you know that. That's why you're keeping him at arms length. You can't say you're confused about this: he was on Tinder because you are blowing hot and cold and keeping your distance while allowing him to chase you. It really is that simple.

Take Big Bag of Chips' advice. Call it a day and keep it simple. You're making a fool of this lad because you're letting him chase you while you can't decide what you want. You should let him go.

Mr. Incognito

How dare he go on Tinder when you told him to you found him over the top and werent interested.

You seem to blame him every which way.

If hes into you you push him away.

Then you are on Tinder and get the hump he is.

You dont get to mess people around just because you had a break up.

suicide_circus

you're playing mind games. with yourself.

Banaba

suicide_circus wrote: »

you're playing mind games. with yourself.

You guys are right I need to cop myself on or someone will get hurt. When I first met this guy there was no way I wanted to even text a guy never mind see anyone. I remember telling my counsellor how this was the first time in my life I had zero interest in dating and was concerned there was something wrong with me and I’d always feel this way. She assured me I was hurting and had a deep fear of getting hurt again following the way my last relationship ended.

Over a period of three months I gradually became closer to this guy against myself. I do have feeling for him, I am very comfortable around him and feel safe secure with him. I confide a lot of things in him and trust him. But there is just something still inside in that panics when he tries moving things forward for example going on a day trip going out on dates planning things. All natural normal things but I guess I purposely pull myself back in an attempt not to develop things too quickly.

I am going to meet him this week and tell him everything. I do feel for him and feel he needs to know where I’m at because it’s not fair on him. Then maybe I need to pull back for a while focus on me and what’s meant to be will be. Is this the best solution?