Post Wedding Thank You Cards

holyhead · 23-01-2019 12:44pm #1

Is the practice of sending out post wedding thank you cards to guests gone?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 23-01-2019 12:45pm

Not at all. We've received two in the past few months.

Mr. Incognito · 23-01-2019 12:47pm

I think I have gotten one from every wedding I have attended in the past 10 years.

Maybe they just didnt like you or you were a bit tight with the wedding gift.

Badly Drunk Boy · 23-01-2019 12:48pm

Thankfully, I haven't had to go to any weddings for a few years, but I got Thank You cards for the last few, although the cards came nearly a year later!

AllForIt · 23-01-2019 12:50pm

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Thankfully, I haven't had to go to any weddings for a few years, but I got Thank You cards for the last few, although the cards came nearly a year later!

God you must have so relieved after so long a wait. And that the card wasn't another wedding invitation.

theteal · 23-01-2019 12:53pm

We've received some. We didn't send any. I said the words enough times over that weekend, I hope they got the message. Seems like a waste of paper tbh.

orourkeda1977 · 23-01-2019 12:59pm

Weddings are a pain in the hole at the best of times. Being thanked for it doesnt soften the blow

paulieeye · 23-01-2019 1:12pm

Got one for every wedding I was at. I personally dont care, just adds to the hassle for whoevers getting married. But some people seem to care about this type of thing

Akrasia · 23-01-2019 1:25pm

We didn't send any. We're married almost 6 years now, think it's a bit cheeky to send them now?

Mrsmum · 23-01-2019 1:30pm

I've always received one for any wedding I've been at but the fashion now seems to be to send them a long, long time after the wedding, so long that the wedding is totally forgotten in my mind anyway. I think it would be more meaningful to send it reasonably soon after getting the gift.

Personally I have to admit to hating writing thank you cards myself but think it's a job that needs doing all the same.

RMAOK · 23-01-2019 1:33pm

Still being sent out, I think. I got a few in the last few years.

Dakotabigone · 23-01-2019 1:36pm

A thank you card for putting us through a day of misery, carvery style dinner, mind boring speeches, old wans getting wrote off on wine, old lads shiiting their pants from too much porter, dry humping doing the siege of Venice.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 1:40pm

We’ve received Thank You cards for all weddings we’ve attended, bar one. Sorry, two. But for one, we know that they sent them and annoyingly, we don’t get all our mail because of confusing addresses in our apartment complex, so we just think their card didn’t reach us.

We sent them ourselves. I think it’s really important to. Not everyone cares about receiving one but many people do. People say “We thanked people for coming at the wedding.”. Well you hardly thanked them for the gift they gave you, as you wouldn’t know what it was at that point. We noted what everyone gave us so that we could personalise each card. People put time, money and effort into attending. Spending an evening writing cards is the least one can do, IMO.

iamwhoiam · 23-01-2019 1:40pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

A thank you card for putting us through a day of misery, carvery style dinner, mind boring speeches, old wans getting wrote off on wine, old lads shiiting their pants from too much porter, dry humping doing the siege of Venice.

The siege of Venice !!!:pac:

JupiterKid · 23-01-2019 1:41pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

A thank you card for putting us through a day of misery, carvery style dinner, mind boring speeches, old wans getting wrote off on wine, old lads shiiting their pants from too much porter, dry humping doing the siege of Venice.

I take it you really love going to weddings then so...

Yep, I think it's still done to send thank you cards after weddings but to leave sending them out until months have elapsed since the big day.

Loveinapril · 23-01-2019 2:01pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

We sent them ourselves. I think it’s really important to. Not everyone cares about receiving one but many people do. People say “We thanked people for coming at the wedding.”. Well you hardly thanked them for the gift they gave you, as you wouldn’t know what it was at that point. We noted what everyone gave us so that we could personalise each card. People put time, money and effort into attending. Spending an evening writing cards is the least one can do, IMO.

I agree with all of this and we did the same, personalised each card and if we got cash, we referred to how we were planning on using it. I did the same when people bought us presents after my son's birth. I just think it's polite.

ongarboy · 23-01-2019 2:04pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

The siege of Venice !!!:pac:

lol, the poster who stated this will soon be posting in the "What really obvious thing have you only just realised" thread!! :pac::pac::pac:

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 2:24pm

Loveinapril wrote: »

I agree with all of this and we did the same, personalised each card and if we got cash, we referred to how we were planning on using it. I did the same when people bought us presents after my son's birth. I just think it's polite.

That’s exactly what we did too.

iamwhoiam · 23-01-2019 2:25pm

ongarboy wrote: »

lol, the poster who stated this will soon be posting in the "What really obvious thing have you only just realised" thread!! :pac::pac::pac:

And maybe Shakespeare actually wrote the Merchant of Ennis !!

Lollipops23 · 23-01-2019 2:59pm

I think it's only manners to do it tbh. Weddings are an effort for most people to attend, a nice card isn't exactly hard work. They don't need to be fancy- I got one last year only a few weeks after the wedding that was generic but pretty and had a gorgeous personal message inside that included a reference to an in-joke we have with the couple.

I also got one more than a year after a wedding we attended; the delay was the bride deliberating what photo from their "special day" should be used on the cards. We had assumed they weren't doing them at all and the older relatives were a bit put-out about it.

Guess what? Both went up on the fridge for about 2 weeks and then out in the recycling.

I'd defo do them if I was getting hitched, manners never go out of fashion IMO.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 3:07pm

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I think it's only manners to do it tbh. Weddings are an effort for most people to attend, a nice card isn't exactly hard work. They don't need to be fancy- I got one last year only a few weeks after the wedding that was generic but pretty and had a gorgeous personal message inside that included a reference to an in-joke we have with the couple.

I also got one more than a year after a wedding we attended; the delay was the bride deliberating what photo from their "special day" should be used on the cards. ]We had assumed they weren't doing them at all and the older relatives were a bit put-out about it.

Guess what? Both went up on the fridge for about 2 weeks and then out in the recycling.

I'd defo do them if I was getting hitched, manners never go out of fashion IMO.

Yeah, that’s the thing. Some people don’t send them because “we don’t care about receiving Thank You cards” but they do matter to a lot of people.

Roger Hassenforder · 23-01-2019 3:24pm

Have we reached peak greed??

"Cash please, and i wont be thanking you.
Because i couldnt be arsed, or I'm too tight"

Bigbagofcans · 23-01-2019 3:29pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Have we reached peak greed??

"Cash please, and i wont be thanking you.
Because i couldnt be arsed, or I'm too tight"

I'm going to the wedding of an acquaintance this weekend and I was asking another friend is €100 enough to put in card from me and my partner. They said that is too little and seen as kind of scabby. "Put in more than that to cover the costs of the meal".

Feck sake.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 3:39pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

I'm going to the wedding of an acquaintance this weekend and I was asking another friend is €100 enough to put in card from me and my partner. They said that is too little and seen as kind of scabby. "Put in more than that to cover the costs of the meal".

Feck sake.

My husband and I put €100 in a card for his cousin’s wedding a few years back because I had just had to ponied up a lot of money for fees for a postgrad dip I was doing so we were pretty broke at the time. We’d also just moved in together with all those attendant costs just paid off. I felt uncomfortable only giving €100 as I felt it was too little but then immediately thought “FFS, I’m stony broke and shouldn’t have to feel under this financial pressure”. I hate the unspoken pressure there is around wedding gifts and weddings in general in this country. People feel under pressure to put on a lavish wedding and guests feel under pressure to contribute to the bill. British weddings are generally that little bit more pared back and the gifts tend to be smaller and those weddings are no less meaningful for being less blingin’.

witchgirl26 · 23-01-2019 3:55pm

I've always gotten thank you cards for weddings and any of the ones I've gotten have been personalised by the couple which is a nice touch. Now some were a bit delayed but they still remembered to send them and it's nice.

One couple I know did send them out a year after the wedding as they'd had a baby in the intervening 12 months and combined them with a thank you for presents people had given for the baby too. That was a nice touch.

ongarboy · 23-01-2019 3:59pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yeah, that’s the thing. Some people don’t send them because “we don’t care about receiving Thank You cards” but they do matter to a lot of people.

My cousin actually sent out in the wedding invitation a little printed paragraph stating that they have everything they need for the house but would gratefully receive cash gifts. How crass is that!! Suffice it to say our extended family were not impressed. 98% of guests give cash anyway. Even if one or two were to give you a deep fat fryer or something equally undesirable, that is something you simply tolerate....you do not tell gift givers what they should give!

topper75 · 23-01-2019 4:19pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

The siege of Venice !!!:pac:

iamwhoiam wrote: »

And maybe Shakespeare actually wrote the Merchant of Ennis !!

ongarboy wrote: »

lol, the poster who stated this will soon be posting in the "What really obvious thing have you only just realised" thread!! :pac::pac::pac:

Slow down now. None of us where there and we don't know just how much porter had been spilled on that dancefloor.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 4:39pm

ongarboy wrote: »

My cousin actually sent out in the wedding invitation a little printed paragraph stating that they have everything they need for the house but would gratefully receive cash gifts. How crass is that!! Suffice it to say our extended family were not impressed. 98% of guests give cash anyway. Even if one or two were to give you a deep fat fryer or something equally undesirable, that is something you simply tolerate....you do not tell gift givers what they should give!

I usually treat these tales as an urban myth because it’s usually a friend of a friend’s housemates cousin who got the invite. But if you got one from an actual direct relation - holy god! :eek:

Working class heroes · 23-01-2019 4:49pm

The 163 I sent out after my wedding all got lost in the post.

Roger Hassenforder · 23-01-2019 5:05pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

I'm going to the wedding of an acquaintance this weekend and I was asking another friend is €100 enough to put in card from me and my partner. They said that is too little and seen as kind of scabby. "Put in more than that to cover the costs of the meal".

Feck sake.

100 is plenty if you're on your Tobler

iamwhoiam · 23-01-2019 5:08pm

Working class heroes wrote: »

The 163 I sent out after my wedding all got lost in the post.

I hope the cards and gifts you got for your wedding also didn't get lost

jos28 · 23-01-2019 5:08pm

Yep, got one today for a wedding we attended in November.

Dakotabigone · 23-01-2019 5:14pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

100 is plenty if you're on your Tobler

€50 is enough, imagine the profit couples are making if people are giving €100 a head. Should be declaring it to the revenue also.

biko · 23-01-2019 5:17pm

Got one in October for a wedding we attended the previous December.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 5:23pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

€50 is enough, imagine the profit couples are making if people are giving €100 a head. Should be declaring it to the revenue also.

Well no. Even if the couple did “profit”, capital gains tax rules allow you to receive a gift from an individual of up to €3000 tax-free annually. And that’s per individual that gives you a gift.

https://www.revenue.ie/en/gains-gifts-and-inheritance/cat-exemptions/small-gift-exemption/index.aspx

I suppose couples should probably technically still fill out a tax return but Revenue sensibly doesn’t pursue this. There’s no money to be gained and it would cost money to administer.

Outkast_IRE · 23-01-2019 5:26pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

€50 is enough, imagine the profit couples are making if people are giving €100 a head. Should be declaring it to the revenue also.

To be fair that depends on the venue, the food , did you get some free drinks etc. Our wedding was about 90 per head not including bottles of beer etc we got for the reception. But to us it was not a money making exercise just a nice day out with close family

Working class heroes · 23-01-2019 5:27pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I hope the cards and gifts you got for your wedding also didn't get lost

A few did yes. But you see, I got married for love baby, not a George Foreman grill.

iamwhoiam · 23-01-2019 5:53pm

Working class heroes wrote: »

A few did yes. But you see, I got married for love baby, not a George Foreman grill.

Good for you but a thank you still never goes amiss . Its just manners really

Working class heroes · 23-01-2019 7:41pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Good for you but a thank you still never goes amiss . Its just manners really

I did thank them. Every single one of them, personally, at the actual wedding.
Thank you cards after the wedding is nonsense imo.

What next, people sending thank you cards for receiving thank you cards?

iamwhoiam · 23-01-2019 7:54pm

Working class heroes wrote: »

I did thank them. Every single one of them, personally, at the actual wedding.
Thank you cards after the wedding is nonsense imo.

What next, people sending thank you cards for receiving thank you cards?

Well I never mentioned it should be a card ? A thank you can be a text or e mail or just a few words .
I don't really know why you mentioned your cards being " lost in the post " then instead of just saying how you dealt with it ?

Working class heroes · 23-01-2019 7:57pm

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Well I never mentioned it should be a card ? A thank you can be a text or e mail or just a few words .
I don't really know why you mentioned your cards being " lost in the post " then instead of just saying how you dealt with it ?

It was a joke. Obviously a bad one but a joke none the less.

Other than that it looks like we are in agreement&#55357;&#56898;

lbc2019 · 23-01-2019 8:00pm

At €1 a stamp a pop I’d rather the newlyweds spent their money on something for them

incentsitive · 23-01-2019 8:03pm

My mother can still tell you the ungrateful so and so's in our family who didn't bother.
It has made me focus on it a little bit more too, if you want people to spend a day endulging you, the least you can do is write a thank you note to them for coming and ponying up 500+ quid between present/drink/hotel for the privilege.
We got one about 3 years after a wedding before, it reminded us of a great day and our thoughts were better late than never!
It is ungrateful to not thank people, a bit of class.
Although, as for printing something generic, you might as well not bother!

Spleerbun · 23-01-2019 8:07pm

Loveinapril wrote: »

I agree with all of this and we did the same, personalised each card and if we got cash, we referred to how we were planning on using it. I did the same when people bought us presents after my son's birth. I just think it's polite.

So who was lucky enough to get the thank you card telling them you were spending their gift on thank you cards?

Feisar · 23-01-2019 8:11pm

Got married this year, sent thank you cards, a lot of people seem to expect them.

AllForIt · 23-01-2019 8:16pm

Big weddings, big funerals, big xmas's are all designed to reinforce the religion which designed them, or at least claim them as their own. Consequently all the nonsense that follows on from those things is a direct result of the primary nonsense in the first place, the religion. And if you think that's nonsense just look at all the ppl who constantly carp and moan about these things on a constant basis on this forum if nowhere else. It's never ending and no wonder. We do make life more difficult for ourselves than need be.

retro:electro · 23-01-2019 8:31pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

€50 is enough, imagine the profit couples are making if people are giving €100 a head. Should be declaring it to the revenue also.

€50 would barley cover your meal in some places.. so you’re bascially not even giving them a gift with that

JupiterKid · 23-01-2019 8:33pm

Maybe the cards should read -

"Thank You For Enduring the Ordeal of Our Wedding Day" ...

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 23-01-2019 8:39pm

Working class heroes wrote: »

I did thank them. Every single one of them, personally, at the actual wedding.
Thank you cards after the wedding is nonsense imo.

What next, people sending thank you cards for receiving thank you cards?

You thanked people for the gift they gave you at your wedding? How did you know what they gave you at that stage?

retro:electro · 23-01-2019 8:55pm

Working class heroes wrote: »

I did thank them. Every single one of them, personally, at the actual wedding.

You thanked them for coming. How can you have thanked them for the gift you don’t even know they gave?

Working class heroes · 23-01-2019 10:13pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

You thanked people for the gift they gave you at your wedding? How did you know what they gave you at that stage?

No. I thanked them for sharing the day with me and my bride.
Didn’t thank them for presents or any of that nonsense. If they were expecting a card/note/text/email thanking them for their present well I’d rather not have received it tbh.

Post Wedding Thank You Cards

Comments