Don't want to get married

La.de.da

Absolutely hate the big traditional wedding. They are all the same....... And hen parties.

Op do what makes you and your partner happy. I'd rather have a small intimate wedding and spend my money going on a lovely honeymoon.

HelgaWard

Trivialstuff wrote: »

but again, my parents won’t be happy and I can’t be bothered with arguments. I know that it makes more tax sense etc to be married but am really not interested. Just feel so pressurised.

If you go get married, come home tell people you got married, that pressure will disappear. When someone says at a wedding "Oh you'll be next" you can say "Oh we're already married" I guarantee you lots and lots of people who had big weddings will say "Oh you were so right to do it quietly"

Sounds like your parents are causing you the most worry, if they ask why you did it just say, it's just the way we wanted to do it, no fuss. Keep repeating that and don't get into any longer conversations about it than that. It's your life, live it your way. Your parents will get over it!

witchgirl26

OP you don't have to elope to have a small wedding. I know lots of people who organised it all for a registery office and just invited people to a meal that evening that they wanted to share in it. Told the parents 2 weeks before and they came to the actual wedding part of it. Meal, in 3 of the cases, was for less than 30 people in total. No fuss whatsoever. No speeches except a quick thank you to those who came. Done, dusted.

No one has to have a massive big wedding to be married. And at 28, it should be about what you and your partner want, not what your parents want. I know you can't be bothered with arguments but constantly avoiding confrontation and giving in, won't make for a happy life for yourself.

meeeeh

I was similar to you and managed to drag out the engagement for 10 years. Am I any happier now that I am married? Not one bit, the wedding had very little meaning to me, I still find it a nuisance. We employed wedding planner, invited only close friends and family (70) and actually had good enough fun. It was a compromise between us, some to keep family happy and making sure we had to do as little organising as possible. But now it's done and we don't need to overly worry about legal issues if anything happens to one of us. Our affairs would be absolute nightmare to deal with if something happened to one of us.

I wouldn't worry about a wedding if you are renting and don't have kids. If you are saving for house deposit use it as an excuse to delay the wedding or as an excuse to have a small wedding if that's what you want.

The problem with wedding in Ireland is that legally you are a lot less protected if you are not married when you have family or have significant assets you both invested in. As for hen parties, they are work of a devil and any sensible friend will be happy if you don't have one.

shesty

So different now.I have been to so many different weddings, there are so many choices now.There are many weddings I have been to where the parents are a problem to be honest-not talking, not present, bitter divorces-most people just did what suited them, from seating to suit, to walking up the aisle by herself because her dad was never around and she didn't want him walking her up the aisle.People just accept it and pretty much forget it the next day!!My coworker took annual leave and sent an email two days later to tell everyone she had got married on the first day of leave and was on.her honeymoon-just so we know.It is 100% your choice and preference, and too much alcohol is a totally valid reason, among others.So don't feel bad about it.

Emme

OP you have been with your OH for 10 years now. Many people meet, get married and get divorced in less than that time.

Getting married isn't the be all and end all but the tax benefits are not to be sniffed at.

There's nothing stopping you getting married quietly. You can say you had a quiet wedding for financial reasons, ie saving for a house or for anything. You don't have to have a big fat wedding if you don't want to.