Which modern celebrity would make the best messiah?

Atoms for Peace

If you had to choose a modern celebrity figure to take up the mantle of Jesus, flying spaghetti monster or Mohammad and become the chosen one who would it be?
For me it would have to Morrisey, not Marty the other one from Manchester.

Outlaw Pete

Kelly Clarkson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T2n_n9H67g

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

gmisk

Bill Murray

Norm Macdonald.

Tar.Aldarion

Joaquin Phoenix.

Noveight

Mattress Mick.

Duck Soup

Sarah Silverman.

Beechwoodspark

Russell brand of course

Hercule Poirot

Josh Groban or Adam Buxton

noble00

Morgan freeman

Atoms for Peace

noble00 wrote: »

Morgan freeman

He'd be more of a Deity, being as he is the literal voice of god already.

corner of hells

I thought Bono was the Messiah , anyway if it's not him I'd like to nominate Conor McGregors sister .

nullzero

Yer Ma

TheValeyard

Liam Neeson.

He will always look for you.


He will always find you.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

I would say a transgendered and/or gender fluid lesbian Muslim traveller obese dwarf with red hair and a cocaine addiction.

Think most bases would be covered there?

Bonus points if they are a siamese twin.

Porklife

Atoms for Peace wrote: »

He'd be more of a Deity, being as he is the literal voice of god already.

His voice gives me the creepers

Hector Bellend

Jay Cartwright

Defaulter1831

Pat Kenny

wexie

George Clooney, that way we could have tequila for mass

Mountainsandh

I'm going for a female messiah, Ellen DeGeneres, she'd be great craic.

TheValeyard

Defaulter1831 wrote: »

Pat Kenny

Cant be the Messiah. He's already a defective Cylon model.

tigerboon

Scooter

Cork Boy 53

Joe Duffy

Capt'n Midnight

Thinly disguised "which cleb would like to crucify" thread

Sycamore Tree

Marty Morrissey!

Purple Mountain

Wibbs

dxhound2005

Yer man that was in that film a while back.

CrankyHaus

tigerboon wrote: »

Scooter

indioblack

Brian.

Ipso

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

I think he has aids unfortunately.

Riddled with it.

TerrorFirmer

Jared Leto when he has a decent beard going.

valoren

Mo Salah. Always up for the cross. Looks the part too.

RhubarbCrumble

indioblack wrote: »

Brian.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy.

Well someone had to say it!

sbsquarepants

We'd need some one with mass appeal (pardon the pun), good looks (you never really have an ugly cult leader do you?) and of course a razor sharp intellect.

So that leaves either Brian Cox or Joey Essex:D

Hector Savage

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

I think he has aids unfortunately.

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Riddled with it.

Jesus, how did he pick that up ?

seamus

Keanu Reeves, clearly.

Guy is Zen as fnck. He's had a tragic personal life, but continues on with quiet dignity. Gives most of his money to charity, is genuinely nice to everyone he meets, and is not above accepting small roles in small films to help young directors, writers and producers.

DanMurphy

This time round the Messiah have to be a Messiahess methinks.
I can't think of any candidates this hour of the morning though, except the bould Mother Sinead.

sbsquarepants

seamus wrote: »

Keanu Reeves, clearly.

Guy is Zen as fnck. He's had a tragic personal life, but continues on with quiet dignity. Gives most of his money to charity, is genuinely nice to everyone he meets, and is not above accepting small roles in small films to help young directors, writers and producers.

He's also immortal - which is a bonus.

valoren

Brian Blessed.

He'd be perfect for delivering phrases such as the below.

"Those who exalt themselves will be humbled!!!!!! Those who humble themselves will be exalted!!!!!!!"

ohnonotgmail

I would happily worship Kathy Griffin.

Your Face

Conor McGregor because the thought of it made me laugh.

ohnonotgmail

valoren wrote: »

Brian Blessed.

He'd be perfect for delivering phrases such as the below.

"Those who exalt themselves will be humbled!!!!!! Those who humble themselves will be exalted!!!!!!!"

I was watching an episode of Blakes 7 last night and he played the high priest of a cult who thought of himself as a god. There was loads of lines similar to yours. Spooky.

FutureGuy

Elon Musk - not that he’s a celebrity

Hector Bellend

I'd like to see James Corden get crucified. Actually crucified.

corner of hells

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I'd like to see James Corden get crucified. Actually crucified.

It'd want to be a cross made of steel girders to hold him up.

Lorelli!

I don't get the hatred for James Corden on here!

Anyway i'm going with Silent Bob!

corner of hells

Lorelli! wrote: »

I don't get the hatred for James Corden on here!

Anyway i'm going with Silent Bob!

Why would you want to crucify Silent Bob ?

Lorelli!

corner of hells wrote: »

Why would you want to crucify Silent Bob ?

I wouldn't!! But I think he'd make a good messiah

w/s/p/c/

Kanye

Hercule Poirot

I forgot about the crucifixion part of the deal, in that case I nominate Ryan Tubridy

On another note, I've been spelling crucifixion wrong the last 30-odd years