can my filipino lady come for a short stay;

steve66

i am in online relationship with a lady from the Phiippines. i wanted to bring her over here for good. But i am unemployed, and so therefore she would not be allowed to stay indefinetly with me. but perhaps she could come for a short visit.
i have been looking at http://www.inis.gov.ie/en/INIS/Pages/short%20stay%20visas%20(less%20than%203%20months)
and in particular at
!that you, or relatives or friends in Ireland who are sponsoring your visit, have enough money to support and accommodate you, without you working or accessing public funds'
But how much money is counted as enough.

i am sure people are tempted to warn me against scams, and she might just be trying to get an easy way into the country.
we are both in our 50's. she is a careworker. we have been in contact through text, and video. i have spoken to her father by videocall. she is happy just to continue online.

Big Bag of Chips

I think the question you should be asking is "does she want to come for a stay?" From your last line it sounds like she doesn't.

Can she afford to come over?
I assume with you being unemployed you're not really going to be able to afford to pay her flight, visa, and feed and entertain her for her time here.

If she doesn't want to visit, then you might have to decide if you are content to continue with just online contact.

steve66

sorry, i didn;t explain myself very well. if the only option was to continue in an online relationship, she is happy with that. But she would rather that we were together. i have asked why she doesn't look for someone with more money, who can bring her to him, or go to her. I asked her that early on, and she said, basically, that i should stop speaking nonsense, and she chose me. She hasn;t changed her mind.
As for the money. Well, there is a small bit of light on the horizon, although through sad circumstances. My mother of 96 passed away on the 6th of july.
There is a will involved. But nothing has been revealed yet. i know there is cash, but not how much.
By coincidence, when in tescos either friday or saturday, i think, there was a guy from sound advise i believe it;s called. giving advise on many things including
visas and emigration. he said i would probably need to have 3 and five thousand. This is in case she got stranded. But as a friend of mine said, if she is staying with me, why is that much money needed.
But no, she could not afford to come over. She is very poor. She earns 40 euros a week, and has to pay rent out of that. No washing machine, no computer, no internet,uses data on phone to chat on messenger.
looks after a 33 year old lady with renal failure, stage 4, paid for working mon-friday 8-5, but sometimes works sat and/or sunday for no pay, or if needed will come back from holiday to patient.
I spoke to her father through videochat.
Thanks for taking the time to reply.

joeguevara

She will need to get a holiday visa. She will need to demonstrate that she has enough cash to take care of herself for the time she is spending here.

If she is going to be spending it with you then you will need to show that there is an actual relationship. It would look better if you went to see her a few times and had photos and texts and emails. This relationship should span over 6 months and you need to show you have the financial capabilities to take care of her.

Listen. Be careful. This is an online relationship with a girl you have never met. I know she has said she has chosen you but words don’t mean a lot. You have lost your mum which is devastating so don’t make rash decisions.

Why don’t you go on holidays and see her. It will help with any future visa and meeting someone in person will show if real feelings are there.

Xterminator

Hi Op

have you considered moving to her? your inheritance would got a little further over there. lower cost of living etc.

you could rent somewhere, and try to find work over there but with the safety net of your nest egg. you can try TEFL while there?

financially it would make more sense.

TheBoyConor

OP, firstly i'm very sorry to hear of your mothers passing. Such a sad time.

But to be fair this is a bananas idea.

Call my cynical but is it more of a little co-incidence that this self admittedly very poor Filipina woman just decides it would be a good idea to come to Ireland just at around the time you are receiving a large inheritance?

All I'll say is this: think before you act.....

duffman13

Gotta agree with the other poster, you could go to the Phillipines for a month for about 3k, as opposed so spending 5k roughly to get her over to you.

I think it's bananas myself going from online to you potentially finding yourself scammed. Go over there, meet her, see her life and how it matches up to the information she's given you. If it's real, happy days. If it's not, the Phillipines is a beautiful country for a visit

Stupify

I've gone through this process with my partner, we were long distance for over a year and for her first visit here this is what she gave the embassy:

-Proof of relationship, since I was her sponsor she needed to prove her relationship to me with photos of us together along with a page describing how me met and such.

-A letter of sponsorship from myself, just a few lines really on how I would be allowing her stay with me and that I would ensure she followed the terms of her visa and she would leave before it expired.

-Proof of attachment to home country, this is to show she has a reason to return home. My partner got a letter of employment from her job and proof of ownership of her car to show she had a reason to return home.

I think you'd be best off visiting her first OP, that'll give you a far better chance of getting her a visa to visit you then.

stargazer 68

steve66 wrote: »

But no, she could not afford to come over. She is very poor. She earns 40 euros a week, and has to pay rent out of that. No washing machine, no computer, no internet,uses data on phone to chat on messenger.
.

Maybe I missed it or I'm out of the loop but how did you first get in contact with her?

steve66

Thanks for the advise folks.
1. This lady did not suggest that she come here, when i mentioned inheritence.
The original plan (mine, not hers)was that I go to see her in December. Why December. This lady has a friend living in monaghan, married to an irish guy. They have been together for 12 years. I travelled down to see them, and stayed overnight.
She and a friend are going for a visit in december. I would only be staying for a week or so. The only family family i have is one brother, and i should probably
spend christmas day here with him.
Then the idea was for me to go home on my own and hopefully, if relationship
was still intact, get her over here later.
This was before i looked into what was actually needed. eg 3 year waiting period.and how much money was needed.
Actually i remember early on, i asked her would she rather i go over there, or she come over here. She said it was up to me.
i have seen how she lives through video call, and as I said met her father the same way.
By the way, i got to know her through ireland's own. The husband of the lady in monagan had posted an ad for her. It didn't mention that she was actually living
in the philippines. As it was an irish magazine, i naturally assumed that she was
living in ireland. The ad did mention that she was 52, married before, and had
4 children.
I found out later, that it was an abusive relationship.
Thinking about it now, it seems to boil down to this. Filipino men bad, white men good. If her friend can find nice irish man, maybe she can too. prefer to be together, but okay with just online relationship if it has to be that way.
As for me getting a large inheritence. I doubt it. According to my brother, it will
probably be around a 1000 euros.
My intention was to put it in the credit union, and borrow money against it.
But i also owe money to them.
If i had known that she was living in the philippines, i would more than likely not have answered that ad in irelands own. But I did, and I feel a commitment now.
I should also say that this is only the second month into this online relationship.
I have emails, photos of her, her children, her cousins, her father, etc. Oh, and lots of texts.
I wonder though about goverment institutions reading private texts though.
As for working, I am on disabilty payment, and unable to work.
Thanks again, folks.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

Thanks for the advise folks.
1. This lady did not suggest that she come here, when i mentioned inheritence.
The original plan (mine, not hers)was that I go to see her in December. Why December. This lady has a friend living in monaghan, married to an irish guy. They have been together for 12 years. I travelled down to see them, and stayed overnight.
She and a friend are going for a visit in december. I would only be staying for a week or so. The only family family i have is one brother, and i should probably
spend christmas day here with him.
Then the idea was for me to go home on my own and hopefully, if relationship
was still intact, get her over here later.
This was before i looked into what was actually needed. eg 3 year waiting period.and how much money was needed.
Actually i remember early on, i asked her would she rather i go over there, or she come over here. She said it was up to me.
i have seen how she lives through video call, and as I said met her father the same way.
By the way, i got to know her through ireland's own. The husband of the lady in monagan had posted an ad for her. It didn't mention that she was actually living
in the philippines. As it was an irish magazine, i naturally assumed that she was
living in ireland. The ad did mention that she was 52, married before, and had
4 children.
I found out later, that it was an abusive relationship.
Thinking about it now, it seems to boil down to this. Filipino men bad, white men good. If her friend can find nice irish man, maybe she can too. prefer to be together, but okay with just online relationship if it has to be that way.
As for me getting a large inheritence. I doubt it. According to my brother, it will
probably be around a 1000 euros.
My intention was to put it in the credit union, and borrow money against it.
But i also owe money to them.
If i had known that she was living in the philippines, i would more than likely not have answered that ad in irelands own. But I did, and I feel a commitment now.
I should also say that this is only the second month into this online relationship.
I have emails, photos of her, her children, her cousins, her father, etc. Oh, and lots of texts.
I wonder though about goverment institutions reading private texts though.
As for working, I am on disabilty payment, and unable to work.
Thanks again, folks.

Hey there Op, whats the 3 year waiting list for? It should take 8-12 weeks for a decision on a tourist visa.

She was married before? Divorce isn't legal in the Philippines so is she still married?

By the sounds of it there's not a chance of her getting a long-stay visa here and even a short-stay one would be 50/50 as they would fear her overstaying and working here illegally.

steve66

thank you.
I meant 3 years for a long stay.
According to her friend living in ireland, the marriage was anulled.

messy tessy

steve66 wrote: »

But I did, and I feel a commitment now.
I should also say that this is only the second month into this online relationship

I'm sorry - am I reading this correctly... You have been talking / in a 'relationship' two months and you feel you are committed?!

OP you don't owe this woman anything. I would be reluctant to spend an inheritance or get into debt on someone you barely know.

unattendedbag

Hi OP. I've been through this before so you can ask me anything you're unsure of. Ive a few concerns but mostly will be echoing what the others have said. Firstly less than 1% of online long distance relationships work out. Play this out for a year and make your next plans together to see if it's working.

Then get out there and meet her for a holiday. It will either make or break the relationship. She will find it very hard to come here for a vacation unless she has a good paying job and can show that she has enough reason to return and not go AWOL. Therefore in your current situation your best option is to get married (N.B. usual marriage rules apply. Don't do this unless you're in it for the right reasons) and she joins you here on a spouse of an Irish citizen visa.

The problem with the spouse visa is that I don't believe she will be granted it unless your circumstances get better, such as getting a decent regular income and accommodation so that you can provide for her without state benefits for the first few years that she is here. Then there is the proof of relationship hurdle. Google it to get tips on requirements.

My last alternative is you going out there to live permanently. There are many expats living there and loving it. However you would have to find a source of income there. Not huge but something to take care of your families needs. You won't be able to get a regular job but perhaps something niche or train up with skills before you go.

As a foot note she will have no problem getting a spouse visa or proving a relationship to the INIS if you are cohabiting out there for a while.

steve66

messy tessy wrote: »

I'm sorry - am I reading this correctly... You have been talking / in a 'relationship' two months and you feel you are committed?!

OP you don't owe this woman anything. I would be reluctant to spend an inheritance or get into debt on someone you barely know.

Thank you.

steve66

unattendedbag wrote: »

Hi OP. I've been through this before so you can ask me anything you're unsure of. Ive a few concerns but mostly will be echoing what the others have said. Firstly less than 1% of online long distance relationships work out. Play this out for a year and make your next plans together to see if it's working.

Then get out there and meet her for a holiday. It will either make or break the relationship. She will find it very hard to come here for a vacation unless she has a good paying job and can show that she has enough reason to return and not go AWOL. Therefore in your current situation your best option is to get married (N.B. usual marriage rules apply. Don't do this unless you're in it for the right reasons) and she joins you here on a spouse of an Irish citizen visa.

The problem with the spouse visa is that I don't believe she will be granted it unless your circumstances get better, such as getting a decent regular income and accommodation so that you can provide for her without state benefits for the first few years that she is here. Then there is the proof of relationship hurdle. Google it to get tips on requirements.

My last alternative is you going out there to live permanently. There are many expats living there and loving it. However you would have to find a source of income there. Not huge but something to take care of your families needs. You won't be able to get a regular job but perhaps something niche or train up with skills before you go.

As a foot note she will have no problem getting a spouse visa or proving a relationship to the INIS if you are cohabiting out there for a while.

Thank you very much.
Yes her friend in monaghan did not meet her husband until after a year.
No. she has not got a good paying job. 40 EUROS a week, looking after a young lady with renal failure. Because that is all the family can afford.
Yes, my income is a major issue. I can't see myself at the moment being able to work.
My main hope would be that she would get a job offer before coming over as a care assistant. I know care assistants in a house don't count. But perhaps care assistant in a nursing home or hospital might be adequate. I also know there is a target income per year to be reached. She has 1 month training as a care assistant, but has been doing it for years. So i don't know if that woud be considered highly skilled.
question. could she set up her own business on a short term visa.
if coming on short term visa, besides visa, passport, proof that she has family back home, and proof that she intends leaving ireland within 90 days, does she need any other documents.

steve66

Dovies wrote: »

Maybe I missed it or I'm out of the loop but how did you first get in contact with her?

i answered an ad in irelands own magazine.it had been put there by the irish husband of a friend of hers. They also met through ireland's own. She has no internet at home. But there is internet in the house of the lady she is looking after.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

I've gone through this process with my partner, we were long distance for over a year and for her first visit here this is what she gave the embassy:

-Proof of relationship, since I was her sponsor she needed to prove her relationship to me with photos of us together along with a page describing how me met and such.

-A letter of sponsorship from myself, just a few lines really on how I would be allowing her stay with me and that I would ensure she followed the terms of her visa and she would leave before it expired.

-Proof of attachment to home country, this is to show she has a reason to return home. My partner got a letter of employment from her job and proof of ownership of her car to show she had a reason to return home

I think you'd be best off visiting her first OP, that'll give you a far better chance of getting her a visa to visit you then.

Thank you. Are you saying, that it is a must that i would have to visit her, and
have pictures of us together even for only a short term visa.
She has a job, but low paying, but no car.
Do i need to show text messages as proof.
i guess iam wondering if text messages would be sufficient if we hadn't actually met. But also, can i pick and choose what part of the texts i want to be seen.

steve66

Thank you folks for all the advise.

Caranica

steve66 wrote: »

My main hope would be that she would get a job offer before coming over as a care assistant. I know care assistants in a house don't count. But perhaps care assistant in a nursing home or hospital might be adequate. I also know there is a target income per year to be reached. She has 1 month training as a care assistant, but has been doing it for years. So i don't know if that woud be considered highly skilled.
question. could she set up her own business on a short term visa.
if coming on short term visa, besides visa, passport, proof that she has family back home, and proof that she intends leaving ireland within 90 days, does she need any other documents.

Care assistants are on the ineligible list for work permits here at the moment so no chance she'll be able to come in and work.

Seriously after so short a time I'd cut and run OP. This has no future.

Big Bag of Chips

If she came on a short stay visa, (90 days?), what sort of business do you think she could set up and run in less than 90 days? And how would she finance it?

You sound like a lovely, kind hearted man, but I think you need to accept that this woman is not your responsibility. At the moment she is your penpal. I don't know why you keep mentioning speaking to her father. Why is that relevant? Is he elderly? Is he ill, or frail? The reality is, you don't know this woman. You don't know anything about her, and you certainly are in no way responsible for her or for providing a better life to her.

If you were in a better financial situation yourself, then I'd say what harm can it do to pay for her to come for a holiday. But you are unemployed due to ill health. You are not in a position to "save" someone else.

I think you are probably lonely, and a bit vulnerable. I think you need to accept that you cannot afford to sponsor this woman, and she can't afford to travel. If you are only continuing this, as you mentioned earlier because you feel committed, then walk away now. It is going nowhere. And the more time you invest in this particular woman, the less time you have to meet someone who might be better suited to you, closer to home.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

thank you.
I meant 3 years for a long stay.
According to her friend living in ireland, the marriage was anulled.

3 years for a long-stay doesn't seem right either, they typically take 6 months, and there's not a chance of her getting one of those unless you plan on marrying her first?

Annulment is a lengthy and expensive process in the Philippines, have you seen the documents that show the marriage has been dissolved?

Tzardine

steve66 wrote: »

i answered an ad in irelands own magazine.it had been put there by the irish husband of a friend of hers. They also met through ireland's own. She has no internet at home. But there is internet in the house of the lady she is looking after.

Alarm bells for me I must say. Are you sure that you are the only guy she is speaking to ?

No two ways about it, you need to go out there and meet her. See how genuine or not she is. It is a beautiful country and quite cheap to visit / stay in.

Having been there and met them, some of these Filipino women are master manipulators of men. To be fair, given their circumstances and the serious poverty that some find themselves in, yuou can not really blame them.

I hope it works out for you, bit seriously, don't get burned.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

Thank you. Are you saying, that it is a must that i would have to visit her, and
have pictures of us together even for only a short term visa.
She has a job, but low paying, but no car.
Do i need to show text messages as proof.
i guess iam wondering if text messages would be sufficient if we hadn't actually met. But also, can i pick and choose what part of the texts i want to be seen.

We had met each other several times before my partner applied for her visa to come here so I can't comment on if it's a must that you meet beforehand, but it certainly makes it easier in proving you have a valid relationship.

Txt messages and screenshots of skype conversations with each other might suffice but I really can't see you getting a visa for this woman without meeting her first.

joeguevara

Why do you not want to travel to see her first? If it is financial reasons then how will you be able to support her for the time she is here on her short term stay initially.

Why would you want to invite someone into tour home from a foreign country if you haven’t even met yet?

It is time to make some real concrete decisions on where you want this to go. If it is something you believe in then go see her. See if you have a connection. Make a plan to bring her and stick with it.

If it is not something you can do then do the right thing and let her know. She sees you as her White Knight.

MarkY91

OP. Ive been to the Philippines and I'm currently dating a Filipina nurse whom I met in Ireland. I showed her this thread and she is a bit skeptical as are most people replying to the thread.

I think you should save up some cash and visit her. Using kayak.com will give you cheap connecting flights to Manila, Philippines for about €600 return. Then using Cebu Pacific, you can fly out to her local airport for under €50. Once you're in her area, you'll really struggle to spend your spending money. It's s really cheap country to travel around and some places are a tropical paradise.

What I'm trying to say is to just go and meet her. Worse case scenario, you get to visit a tropical paradise(depending which parts you visit). Best case scenario, you have proof of a physical relationship which should really help according to other posters.

Like others said, you seem like a really genuine, kind hearted man and I hope everything turns out good for you.

If you ever do book flights to Philippines, don't hesitate to private message me for any advice about where to stay to get the tropical paradise experience or about Filipino culture etc.

TheBoyConor

Op what makes you so convinced that she is genuine and truthful in everything she says?
Have you ever thought that she might have 4 or 5 other western guys on the go spinning them the same aul yarn?

And if she is to come to ireland then how is she going to afford the flights even? If she asks you for money for the flights then you have your answer. If you pay then it will work out that there is some last minute reason she can't take the flight - sick mother, accident, illness etc etc. Then you'll be asked for money for another flight and the same will happen till you cop on.

Even if she does come here, all filipinos want to do is sent every penny they get their hands on back to their family. I don't blame them though, the level poverty over there is absolute destitution like we can't even begin to imagine.

I'm guessing OP that you are middle aged, somewhat infirm, lonely and desperate for companionship. That's OK, I get that. But you are walking yourself into a world of hurt and hassle with this business.

I'd say you'd be better off joining the likes of the mens shed or something like that.

.......

So 2 months ago you answered an ad in Irelands Own magazine and now you are talking about how to get her over to be with you in Ireland?

Major red flags here. How many other men answered the ad in Ireland Own? What was the nature of the ad? It sounds like you were misled from the start?

It was 2 months ago. This could be a catfish, a scam, a woman with many western men on the go.

You cant possibly know after 2 months talking to someone that youve never met that you want one of you to actually MOVE COUNTRY to be together.

It sounds like a con. It sounds like she is going to try to extract money from you.

Im struggling to even understand how you go from answering an ad two months ago to you asking how you can bring her here for good?

Stupify

....... wrote: »

So 2 months ago you answered an ad in Irelands Own magazine and now you are talking about how to get her over to be with you in Ireland?

Major red flags here. How many other men answered the ad in Ireland Own? What was the nature of the ad? It sounds like you were misled from the start?

It was 2 months ago. This could be a catfish, a scam, a woman with many western men on the go.

You cant possibly know after 2 months talking to someone that youve never met that you want one of you to actually MOVE COUNTRY to be together.

It sounds like a con. It sounds like she is going to try to extract money from you.

Im struggling to even understand how you go from answering an ad two months ago to you asking how you can bring her here for good?

I wouldn't be too judgmental of OP tbh, he seems like a nice guy just a bit lonely.

His lady friend has a sister in Ireland who is happily married to an Irish guy and OP has met them in person so I don't think it's as shady as some people are making it out to be, but there's no harm in OP keeping his guard up anyway.

2 months in though and I gotta say OP I don't think you're in a position to make this work in terms of a relationship.

MarkY91

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Op what makes you so convinced that she is genuine and truthful in everything she says?
Have you ever thought that she might have 4 or 5 other western guys on the go spinning them the same aul yarn?

And if she is to come to ireland then how is she going to afford the flights even? If she asks you for money for the flights then you have your answer. If you pay then it will work out that there is some last minute reason she can't take the flight - sick mother, accident, illness etc etc. Then you'll be asked for money for another flight and the same will happen till you cop on.

Even if she does come here, all filipinos want to do is sent every penny they get their hands on back to their family. I don't blame them though, the level poverty over there is absolute destitution like we can't even begin to imagine.

I'm guessing OP that you are middle aged, somewhat infirm, lonely and desperate for companionship. That's OK, I get that. But you are walking yourself into a world of hurt and hassle with this business.

I'd say you'd be better off joining the likes of the mens shed or something like that.

If he books the flights using her passport info. How on earth would she potentially scam him? She would have two possible options. Board the plane or don't board the plane.

steve66

Caranica wrote: »

Care assistants are on the ineligible list for work permits here at the moment so no chance she'll be able to come in and work.

Seriously after so short a time I'd cut and run OP. This has no future.

Today,

Thank you for that info about care assistants. But i will try and look further into
it.

joeguevara

steve66 wrote: »

Today,

Thank you for that info about care assistants. But i will try and look further into
it.

You are looking too much into it when in essence it is irrelevant for the time being. She will not be able to work for her initial stay here. It will be a holdiay visa.

You are putting the cart before the horse.

steve66

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

If she came on a short stay visa, (90 days?), what sort of business do you think she could set up and run in less than 90 days? And how would she finance it?
You sound like a lovely, kind hearted man, but I think you need to accept that this woman is not your responsibility. #
At the moment she is your penpal. I don't know why you keep mentioning speaking to her father. Why is that relevant? Is he elderly? Is he ill, or frail?
The reality is, you don't know this woman. You don't know anything about her, and you certainly are in no way responsible for her or for providing a better life to her.
If you were in a better financial situation yourself, then I'd say what harm can it do to pay for her to come for a holiday. But you are unemployed due to ill health. You are not in a position to "save" someone else.

I think you are probably lonely, and a bit vulnerable. I think you need to accept that you cannot afford to sponsor this woman, and she can't afford to travel. If you are only continuing this, as you mentioned earlier because you feel committed, then walk away now. It is going nowhere. And the more time you invest in this particular woman, the less time you have to meet someone who might be better suited to you, closer to home.

She did have her own business in the philippines; I forget what happened. I think losing it was something to do with getting an annulment. i would
have to go back through our texts.
Thank you for the compliment. Well no offence, but that is my wrong or right choice on whether she is my responsibility.
This is what i know about her.
She is split from her ex husband for 28 years. When married first, they were poor. He got a good job, got into drugs. He would beat her up if she went out
of the house wearing makeup. She had to give up a big house as part of the annulment. She has worked 15 years as a care worker. Before her current client, she looked after person with cancer. She was earning big money. i asked why she didn't put money in bank. Because she was putting four kids through college.She has never asked me for anything. She has
4 grown up children. one is training to be a teacher. She has made it my choice whether i visit her, or she visit me. She earns 40 euros, a week.
She works overtime for nothing. Her children send her money for food, and any
medicine she needs.
She takes it. but is ashamed to. She has come back in the middle of a holiday
when the young woman with renal failure calls her. That is because the woman's family refuse to touch her. I have seen pictures of this young woman, and it would make your heart bleed. I have spoken to her too.
She has gotten out of bed at 12 in the night, and 1 in the morning to go to that woman's house to bring her to the toilet. The last one was when she had to bring her client for dialysis, and she was suffering from pain and fever. I was telling her to stay home. But she told me, not to beworrying. It was only a normal fever.
One of her cousins died of cancer. She is a wonderful woman. You say, i have a good heart. Well her heart is twice as good. She is content with her life
Yes, her father is elderly, and i suppose he would be described as frail
i don't want to save her. i wouldn't be so arrogant as to think of myself as saving her. i just want to help her out a bit.
Actually, i am not a bit lonely. But as far as i'm concerned, this woman is the best thing ever happened to me. Whether i can sponsor, will depend on the will
money. The way i feel about is this, i thought my life was complete, but until she came into it, i didn't know anything was missing.
When i say, i feel comitted. I meant emotionally, not morally.
Okay, if you don't believe that part of knowing a person is speaking to their parents, then that is okay.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

update. According to her facebook page, she works for the non profit organisation.
I work for God.
i will have to ask her if she still does that, as she is doing the other thing.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

3 years for a long-stay doesn't seem right either, they typically take 6 months, and there's not a chance of her getting one of those unless you plan on marrying her first?

Annulment is a lengthy and expensive process in the Philippines, have you seen the documents that show the marriage has been dissolved?

i meant, that is the law that she would have to wait 3 years before being allowec
to live in ireland permantly.
No, i have not seen the documents, but she has been split from her husband for
28 years.

steve66

Tzardine wrote: »

Alarm bells for me I must say. Are you sure that you are the only guy she is speaking to ?

No two ways about it, you need to go out there and meet her. See how genuine or not she is. It is a beautiful country and quite cheap to visit / stay in.

Having been there and met them, some of these Filipino women are master manipulators of men. To be fair, given their circumstances and the serious poverty that some find themselves in, yuou can not really blame them.

I hope it works out for you, bit seriously, don't get burned.

Well obviously i can't be sure that she is not speaking to anyone else. But she has no idea that i am speaking to anyone else either
okay, if she is manipulating me, that's okay. She still made me happy
Thank you for the encouragement. If i do get burnt, i will just see it as a life
lesson.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

We had met each other several times before my partner applied for her visa to come here so I can't comment on if it's a must that you meet beforehand, but it certainly makes it easier in proving you have a valid relationship.

Txt messages and screenshots of skype conversations with each other might suffice but I really can't see you getting a visa for this woman without meeting her first.

Thank you.

steve66

joeguevara wrote: »

Why do you not want to travel to see her first? If it is financial reasons then how will you be able to support her for the time she is here on her short term stay initially.

Why would you want to invite someone into tour home from a foreign country if you haven’t even met yet?

It is time to make some real concrete decisions on where you want this to go. If it is something you believe in then go see her. See if you have a connection. Make a plan to bring her and stick with it.

If it is not something you can do then do the right thing and let her know. She sees you as her White Knight.

i have never travelled outside ireland before. so yes, i would rather get her over here.
being able to support her will depend on what i get in the will. But i don't have
to give her that money. i can just show bank statement to whoever i need to.
if it takes me having to go over there first, in order to get her to come over
here later, then i will.
as she has said it is up to me, whether i go there, or her here, is she not taking
the same chance with me.
I will not leave her hanging.
Thank you.

steve66

MarkY91 wrote: »

OP. Ive been to the Philippines and I'm currently dating a Filipina nurse whom I met in Ireland. I showed her this thread and she is a bit skeptical as are most people replying to the thread.

I think you should save up some cash and visit her. Using kayak.com will give you cheap connecting flights to Manila, Philippines for about €600 return. Then using Cebu Pacific, you can fly out to her local airport for under €50. Once you're in her area, you'll really struggle to spend your spending money. It's s really cheap country to travel around and some places are a tropical paradise.

What I'm trying to say is to just go and meet her. Worse case scenario, you get to visit a tropical paradise(depending which parts you visit). Best case scenario, you have proof of a physical relationship which should really help according to other posters.

Like others said, you seem like a really genuine, kind hearted man and I hope everything turns out good for you.

If you ever do book flights to Philippines, don't hesitate to private message me for any advice about where to stay to get the tropical paradise experience or about Filipino culture etc.

.
Thank you. If i do go over, it will be on the 11th of December with her friend from ireland and a friend of hers. i think i was told it would cost 600.
The friend and her husband have a place out there, and have offered it to us.
I can only assume it is a big enough place for everybody.

steve66

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Op what makes you so convinced that she is genuine and truthful in everything she says?
Have you ever thought that she might have 4 or 5 other western guys on the go spinning them the same aul yarn?

And if she is to come to ireland then how is she going to afford the flights even? If she asks you for money for the flights then you have your answer. If you pay then it will work out that there is some last minute reason she can't take the flight - sick mother, accident, illness etc etc. Then you'll be asked for money for another flight and the same will happen till you cop on.

Even if she does come here, all filipinos want to do is sent every penny they get their hands on back to their family. I don't blame them though, the level poverty over there is absolute destitution like we can't even begin to imagine.

I'm guessing OP that you are middle aged, somewhat infirm, lonely and desperate for companionship. That's OK, I get that. But you are walking yourself into a world of hurt and hassle with this business.

I'd say you'd be better off joining the likes of the mens shed or something like that.

Look, nobody knows everything about everybody, i could be in a relationship with somebody here, and she could be seeing somebody behind my back.
We talk on messenger an average of 4 hours a day. She works, she has to sleep. If she is having long conversations every day with 4 or 5 other western guys, fair play to her.
i am the kind of person who believes the best of people, until they prove otherwise. If that makes me an oddball in this day and age, so be it.
i am 59 on the second of september. I am not bit lonely or desperate for companionship. i have arthritis, which gets pretty bad at times. If i walk into
a world of hurt and hassle, i'll get over it. As someone said, it's all part of life's
rich tapestry.
Oh, and when i answered her ad in irelands own, i told her i wasn't working. If other guys answered, why bother answering me.
Thank you.

steve66

....... wrote: »

So 2 months ago you answered an ad in Irelands Own magazine and now you are talking about how to get her over to be with you in Ireland?

Major red flags here. How many other men answered the ad in Ireland Own? What was the nature of the ad? It sounds like you were misled from the start?

It was 2 months ago. This could be a catfish, a scam, a woman with many western men on the go.

You cant possibly know after 2 months talking to someone that youve never met that you want one of you to actually MOVE COUNTRY to be together.

It sounds like a con. It sounds like she is going to try to extract money from you.

Im struggling to even understand how you go from answering an ad two months ago to you asking how you can bring her here for good?

Jesus. I'm beginning to think the world is full of cynics. But thank you.The ad was put in for her by the husband of her friend in ireland.
it said something like filipino lady 52, works as careworker, looking for kind considerate irish man.
Other people did reply, but i believe her when she said i was the only one she answered.
Considering she is speaking to me for an average of 4 hours a day, and works, and has to sleep, she must be taking a special pill to have 4 other guys on the go.
She has never asked me for money. That is my choice.
Thanks again.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

I wouldn't be too judgmental of OP tbh, he seems like a nice guy just a bit lonely.

His lady friend has a sister in Ireland who is happily married to an Irish guy and OP has met them in person so I don't think it's as shady as some people are making it out to be, but there's no harm in OP keeping his guard up anyway.

2 months in though and I gotta say OP I don't think you're in a position to make this work in terms of a relationship.

Thank you, but not a bit lonely.
Look, i do realise, i could meet her in December, and it could fizzle out.

power pants

Just read your last post about how much of a saint she is. Sounds a wonderful wonderful human being, so much hardship and suffering in her life but yet works tirelessly to help anyone and everyone

I especially like how she is able to cut her holiday short to come back and look after the old woman

Wonder where she goes on holiday and who pays for it as she forever telling you that she only earns 40e a week

She put 4 of her kids through college, doesn’t sound that hard up

I think you’re being played and as you are demonstrating you are going to go ahead with it anyway. Best of luck

steve66

MarkY91 wrote: »

If he books the flights using her passport info. How on earth would she potentially scam him? She would have two possible options. Board the plane or don't board the plane.

thank you.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

She did have her own business in the philippines; I forget what happened. I think losing it was something to do with getting an annulment. i would
have to go back through our texts.
Thank you for the compliment. Well no offence, but that is my wrong or right choice on whether she is my responsibility.
This is what i know about her.
She is split from her ex husband for 28 years. When married first, they were poor. He got a good job, got into drugs. He would beat her up if she went out
of the house wearing makeup. She had to give up a big house as part of the annulment. She has worked 15 years as a care worker. Before her current client, she looked after person with cancer. She was earning big money. i asked why she didn't put money in bank. Because she was putting four kids through college.She has never asked me for anything. She has
4 grown up children. one is training to be a teacher. She has made it my choice whether i visit her, or she visit me. She earns 40 euros, a week.
She works overtime for nothing. Her children send her money for food, and any
medicine she needs.
She takes it. but is ashamed to. She has come back in the middle of a holiday
when the young woman with renal failure calls her. That is because the woman's family refuse to touch her. I have seen pictures of this young woman, and it would make your heart bleed. I have spoken to her too.
She has gotten out of bed at 12 in the night, and 1 in the morning to go to that woman's house to bring her to the toilet. The last one was when she had to bring her client for dialysis, and she was suffering from pain and fever. I was telling her to stay home. But she told me, not to beworrying. It was only a normal fever.
One of her cousins died of cancer. She is a wonderful woman. You say, i have a good heart. Well her heart is twice as good. She is content with her life
Yes, her father is elderly, and i suppose he would be described as frail
i don't want to save her. i wouldn't be so arrogant as to think of myself as saving her. i just want to help her out a bit.
Actually, i am not a bit lonely. But as far as i'm concerned, this woman is the best thing ever happened to me. Whether i can sponsor, will depend on the will
money. The way i feel about is this, i thought my life was complete, but until she came into it, i didn't know anything was missing.
When i say, i feel comitted. I meant emotionally, not morally.
Okay, if you don't believe that part of knowing a person is speaking to their parents, then that is okay.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

I can see you care about this woman alot OP, people here only have your welfare at heart when they say to be careful or that she could be a scammer but for all we know she could be a saint.

If you're really going to go through with bringing her here then I think you're best option is to visit her first (take plenty of photos to use for later proof of relationship and keep your plane tickets too), then after you've saved up a bit more have her apply for a short-stay visa to see you. It's all well and good thinking of the long-stay Visa but she needs to come here first and see what Ireland is like.

For the short stay Visa she needs:

-a letter detailing why she wants to come to Ireland, and because it's to see you she needs to have proof that you two and in a relationship (pictures can be used here along with some skype screenshots and copies of your plane ticket).

-a letter of sponsorship from you along with a 6 month bank statement, a copy of your passport and a utility bill with your name and address on it (include the page that will have your travel stamps from visiting her).

-she needs to send proof that she has travel insurance.

-And the big one is she needs to show she has a reason for returning home, my wife had a car and a full-time job to return to which was deemed sufficient by the visa officer. Does your lady have any assets? She can mention her kids as reason for returning home but it's not a very strong reason since they're all grown up now.

You can see the Visa Decisions put up here every Tuesday:
http://www.inis.gov.ie/en/INIS/Visa-decisions-07082018-13082018.pdf/Files/Visa-decisions-07082018-13082018.pdf

Most are rejected OP but tourist visas have the best chances of being granted.

You could also consider trying to get her UK visa as people on a UK visa can travel here without needing an Irish visa.

EDIT: here's the full list of requirements for a short stay visa
https://www.dfa.ie/media/embassylondon/ourservices/visit-visa-checklist.pdf

steve66

joeguevara wrote: »

You are looking too much into it when in essence it is irrelevant for the time being. She will not be able to work for her initial stay here. It will be a holdiay visa.

You are putting the cart before the horse.

no. i am talking about getting an offer of a job before coming over.

steve66

power pants wrote: »

Just read your last post about how much of a saint she is. Sounds a wonderful wonderful human being, so much hardship and suffering in her life but yet works tirelessly to help anyone and everyone

I especially like how she is able to cut her holiday short to come back and look after the old woman

Wonder where she goes on holiday and who pays for it as she forever telling you that she only earns 40e a week

She put 4 of her kids through college, doesn’t sound that hard up

I think you’re being played and as you are demonstrating you are going to go ahead with it anyway. Best of luck

Oh, dear another cynic. she goes to her families ancestoral home on the camiguin islands. She is not forever telling me. I asked her. if it costs money to go there, maybe her children help pay for it.
She put her kids through college when she was working for someone who could
pay her better than her current client's family. Her current client is a 33 year old female with stage 4 renal failure, not an old woman.
Thank you.

steve66

Folks, i know everybody, cynics included are concerned for me. I will follow my heart, folks
if my heart is wrong. so be it
anyway, if anyone wants to see her facebook page, i'll post it.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

Folks, i know everybody, cynics included are concerned for me. I will follow my heart, folks
if my heart is wrong. so be it
anyway, if anyone wants to see her facebook page, i'll post it.

OP don't post her facebook here!

MarkY91

steve66 wrote: »

.
Thank you. If i do go over, it will be on the 11th of December with her friend from ireland and a friend of hers. i think i was told it would cost 600.
The friend and her husband have a place out there, and have offered it to us.
I can only assume it is a big enough place for everybody.

I'm going to Bali on 8th December and I'll eventually end up in Philippines on 15th. These people are very into Christmas, you would have a huge, warm welcome if you do go.. especially at Christmas.

The fact that you would have people going with you will take alot of stress of landing in a new country and feeling the culture shock away. They would bring you right to your destination.

Like I said, after paying your flight, you'll struggle to spend money there. So it could be possible financially wise to go in December. That's when you can have answers to so many questions and doubts you may have.

I wish you all the best!

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

OP don't post her facebook here!

ok

steve66

MarkY91 wrote: »

I'm going to Bali on 8th December and I'll eventually end up in Philippines on 15th. These people are very into Christmas, you would have a huge, warm welcome if you do go.. especially at Christmas.

The fact that you would have people going with you will take alot of stress of landing in a new country and feeling the culture shock away. They would bring you right to your destination.

Like I said, after paying your flight, you'll struggle to spend money there. So it could be possible financially wise to go in December. That's when you can have answers to so many questions and doubts you may have.

I wish you all the best!

Thank you. She lives in Butuan city. But if i am going, i intend being back here before christmas.
After my mother's death, My brorther is the only family i have left. I think i should spend at least part of christmas day with him.