Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Bf dosnt want photos of us together online

Options
  • 03-08-2018 5:11pm
    #1
    Blondie1994
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭


    My boyfriend and I were at the races his friend took a photo of the two of us I asked my bf to send it to me so I could put it up on instragram as we were both dressed up I thought it would be nice to share the photo. My bf has instagram but has never posted any photos and he wouldn’t post on fb but either would I, when I asked him for the photo he said he didn’t want those photos online even though he had said to me he was going to change his profile photo to the picture of him and his friend! I find this really strange as he gave me no explanation for not posting the photo but was willing to change his profile picture to him and his friend but not upload any photos of us


«1

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    QueenRizla
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭QueenRizla


    Did you ask him why


  • Options
    #3
    Blondie1994
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭Blondie1994


    QueenRizla wrote: »
    Did you ask him why

    He said he just dosnt want the photo up online, he’s a private person and he didn’t want our relationship up on fb either but I can’t see the harm in a simple photo of him with his gf


  • Options
    #4
    Hitman3000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,596 ✭✭✭Hitman3000


    Blondie1994 wrote:
    He said he just dosnt want the photo up online, he’s a private person and he didn’t want our relationship up on fb either but I can’t see the harm in a simple photo of him with his gf


    He has his reasons, why would you not respect his request. What's more important to you? Him or FB likes?


  • Options
    #5
    Passenger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,144 ✭✭✭Passenger


    He said he's a private person. Case closed imo. Respect his privacy.


  • Options
    #6
    Heres Johnny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭Heres Johnny


    A simple explanation like he has given is sufficient. Doesn't want pictures up, that's fine. His right to be private trumps your right to post his picture.
    I'm the same and plenty of people just don't get it I don't want everyone to know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it and who I'm doing it with 24/7


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    She's not saying she wants to plaster pictures of them all over the internet. It's one photo of them dressed up at the races as a couple.
    He allowed one of him and his mate up but not her so it's understandle that she feels a bit paranoid!!


  • Options
    #8
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,632 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Bit odd he's putting up other photos of himself with friends though


  • Options
    #9
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    It's not like you're being kept a secret OP.
    Just respect his wishes.


  • Options
    #10
    Tom Mann Centuria
    Registered Users Posts: 10,935 ✭✭✭✭Tom Mann Centuria


    If he didn't want pictures of himself up at all, then that's fine, but the fact he is happy for his pic to appear, but only with certain people? Suspect. Highly suspect.

    Oh well, give me an easy life and a peaceful death.



  • Options
    #11
    bertsmom
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭bertsmom


    Respect his wishes. Its simple really. You asked him why he told you why. Its up to him if and when he puts photos online. He CAN pick and choose and why not.
    I dont pose for photos on a night out or allow pictures of myself on Facebook generally, simply because I am quite a private person and for no reason other than its nobody's business where I am or who I am with.
    One particular couple I am friends with pop up photos of EVERYTHING and EVERY outing they go on as a family. Each to their own but that is not for me and when out with them I've often refused permission for them to include photos im in etc and they respect that.
    Live your life and enjoy the time spent with your OH Facebook likes are unimportant.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Facebook's more responsible for breakups than any other site on the internet...

    I deleted mine today never on it until 3 months ago...well rid , its dull looking at it is almost like a drug induced trance...

    Now instagram is like a party uplifting,colourful and not dull and blue...

    I had all that drama with facebook and heard of breakups over photos and resentments etc

    Its a vile place, nothing but drama....and humble bragging


  • Options
    #13
    Kuva
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Kuva


    He hasn't a leg to stand on here about anything "privacy" if he's putting up the other pic.

    Look for a reason, probably break up time.


    Plus, facebook like wh*reing is bullsh1t. Did you go to racers just for the picture.

    Probably why its break up time.


  • Options
    #14
    sReq | uTeK
    Registered Users Posts: 6,003 ✭✭✭sReq | uTeK


    Kuva wrote: »
    He hasn't a leg to stand on here about anything "privacy" if he's putting up the other pic.

    Look for a reason, probably break up time.


    Plus, facebook like wh*reing is bullsh1t. Did you go to racers just for the picture.

    Probably why its break up time.

    wow incredible post. Im a married man,love my wife and kids would never and have never dreamed of cheating.

    Few photos with mates probably, not a massive issue. sharing photos of the intimate side of my life, sorry not a hope that’s special and private to me and id like to keep it that way.

    she is at the races with him and his friends, he’s hardly keeping her locked away out of sight of the world


  • Options
    #15
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Agree with the people saying it's suspect. If he is private and has no pics of himself up, that is one thing - but he is clearly cherry-picking who he wants friends and family to see him with online. His behaviour is hypocritical at best.


  • Options
    #16
    blairbear
    Registered Users Posts: 384 ✭✭blairbear


    People saying that social media is the root of all evil and he has a right to privacy are singing off a different hymn sheet to the OP's generation. I presume she is 23/24 given the username. SM has infiltrated the younger millennial cohort as much as texting did in the late 90s/early 00s for the older crew. I am ten years her senior and all of my friends post very frequently on instagram etc. Also Facebook is not hugely popular with those in their early 20s. Insta is the be all and end all.

    I would think this was a bit suss tbh. He is happy to have himself in photos at the races but not with the OP. Lads I know who have declined to share their relationship online (in one photo; not a drama filled status!) usually have an ex on the scene that they don't want to disgruntle, are texting a few girls or don't see their current relationship as a serious one.

    Attacking the OP for wanting to post a nice picture with her boyfriend, whom I assume she is proud of and wants to shout it from the rooftops, is bloody unfair.

    Social media is not just some noticebox tool for women to garner attention. I would be hurt too, OP. And you don't need permission from anyone to post a photo of yourself with your own boyfriend.


  • Options
    #17
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I have hardly any pics of my partner online. I love the guy to bits but it's a part of my life I want to keep private. He would be the same but has pics with friends and it's fine. Your social media relationship is not a reflection of your actual relationship.


  • Options
    #18
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    It wouldnt bother me either way whether she wanted me on Facebook or instagram.....

    But keeping my or her dating situation private from the outside world is a forest of red flags....

    Why would someone like to keep anyone from knowing they're dating someone private ?

    Is it some new pagan belief it'll bring bad luck ?

    I don't think so, its called being in control and akin to a potential monkey brancher....

    My last fling was similar.....she was flagrantly showing off her nights out tagging her male friends and exe boyfriend in the middle holding a pint of the black stuff... and beach walks with her dog and friend were frequent...

    The sad thing is she was quizzing me on the likes and hearts women put on my instagram not the guys....

    I said jokingly when will you post a tag with me when we're out or on a hill walk....

    Lets just say she got very resentful and went all defensively awkward....

    3rd red flag....


  • Options
    #19
    Heres Johnny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭Heres Johnny


    Don't have to have a reason, just don't want it on social media is reason enough.
    It's not all sinister there's a load of things I don't want up there myself, relationships being one of many.

    Also holidays and advertising the fact I'm away and my house is empty is another one.


  • Options
    #20
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    We haven't got a lot of info here, so I think anyone leaning either way with any particular conviction is being rash. The fact is OP, you haven't had this conversation in full before posting here, why? What are you afraid of finding out if you ask and what is your gut telling you? Like you should've asked him "Why are you okay putting up pictures with your friends and not us if you're private?" but held off for some reason.

    I've been in situations where I've been all over social media with a person and it's gone horribly, I've also been in situations where I've posted nothing and it's grand. It's not something I have a stance on either way and not something I think there's a catch-all 'right' answer to. It's only it's a problem if it's a problem, and this is a problem for you, so get to the bottom of why and you'll have your answer.


  • Options
    #21
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    nthclare wrote: »
    Why would someone like to keep anyone from knowing they're dating someone private ?

    All kinds of reasons. People with occupations like the Gardaí are very careful with social media and what they put up there. Some people just don't like sharing their private lives in public, they don't like to invite questions or scrutiny or whatever. I'd find it weirder if someone needed the world to see they were dating someone, it'd make the relationship itself seem falser, like it was a prop to validate their addiction to social media and/or seeking approval from others.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Is this is same boyfriend?

    https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057868900


  • Options
    #23
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    leggo wrote: »
    All kinds of reasons. People with occupations like the Gardaí are very careful with social media and what they put up there. Some people just don't like sharing their private lives in public, they don't like to invite questions or scrutiny or whatever. I'd find it weirder if someone needed the world to see they were dating someone, it'd make the relationship itself seem falser, like it was a prop to validate their addiction to social media and/or seeking approval from others.

    Sure you might as well not tell anyone your private information....

    Never tell anyone where you eat...golf...day out...
    Sure isnt that private too....

    So would a person be better off posting up photos of blank walls.

    They don't have to tag someone and say ohhh by the way im dating herself there in the photo's....

    Sure ive photos of myself and my female friends together on instagram....im a guy they are women....

    Ive a few with Sarah at the cliffs of moher last week....then Denise is with me in Fanore two
    a day ago...

    Theres a photo of me with a few old school mates who bumped into me in Nulas bar actually Friday night...

    So whats the issue here, tag your friends and not your partner...

    People must be dam confused looking at my Instagram, because they must think im a right romeo altogether.....


  • Options
    #24
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Blondie, if this is the same boyfriend you posted about before I don't know why you're expecting anything different from him. Why are you letting him treat you like this? Or more to the point, why are it still with him?


  • Options
    #25
    Rachiee
    Registered Users Posts: 880 ✭✭✭Rachiee


    How long are you dating OP? I know myself Im friends with all sorts on facebook, cousins aunties old school friends and closer family. people who you wouldnt normally tell about dating/ relationships until you knew they were very serious.
    After my last break up I felt humiliated that the relationship had been so public on facebook and then she disappeared from my feed it made me feel as though the breakup was public too. It might be just that he doesnt want pictures of you on his facebook until you are going out longer.


  • Options
    #26
    jimbev
    Registered Users Posts: 164 ✭✭jimbev


    He'll put up a picture of him and his mate but not you as a couple
    He's a player and still chasing skirt


  • Options
    #27
    mazwell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 150 ✭✭mazwell


    Is this the same boyfriend who was looking up escorts? If it is I'd say it might be time to protect yourself and move on


  • Options
    #28
    tara73
    Registered Users Posts: 2,341 ✭✭✭tara73


    mazwell wrote: »
    Is this the same boyfriend who was looking up escorts? If it is I'd say it might be time to protect yourself and move on


    yes, if it's the same guy, just two words are enough: get rid!


  • Options
    #29
    ginandtonicsky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    Taken out of context, this could’ve been a guy that just likes to keep his private life private or who wants to wait until the relationship is a bit more established before he lets the “world” know through Facebook.

    Taken in context with your last thread, this is a messer who will bring no good into your life and the fact that you keep making threads about the many relationship issues that have made you insecure is proof of that


  • Options
    #30
    paw patrol
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭paw patrol


    jimbev wrote: »
    He'll put up a picture of him and his mate but not you as a couple
    He's a player and still chasing skirt

    my thoughts exactly.

    he wants to appear single for the ladies or at least that your relationship isn't that special


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users Posts: 26,282 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    I know loads of lads who won't put up pictures of women they're seeing for a lot of legitimate reasons.

    Some people have very nosey family members on Facebook, a picture of you with a girl and suddenly its the talk of the family and the pressure of somebody you might not be with a long time meeting your family intensifies.

    There are a lot of women who love nothing more than gossip and social media stalking and sometimes worse. Ive mates who won't post up pictures of girlfriends till its 1 year + because if they do it before then it gets back to an ex, a b*tchy mate of an ex etc... and suddenly some poor girl is getting messages claiming their new bf is sleeping around , was in prison etc... trying to tear apart relationships .

    Some people just like the privacy. I have people on my Facebook from school and other parts of my life that I'd rather not know who I'm in a relationship with or anything else. If theres photos of me and some lads down the pub, thats grand, not a talking point, but your missus is and its just idle gossip for morons with nothing better to do.


Advertisement