Bf dosnt want photos of us together online

Blondie1994

My boyfriend and I were at the races his friend took a photo of the two of us I asked my bf to send it to me so I could put it up on instragram as we were both dressed up I thought it would be nice to share the photo. My bf has instagram but has never posted any photos and he wouldn’t post on fb but either would I, when I asked him for the photo he said he didn’t want those photos online even though he had said to me he was going to change his profile photo to the picture of him and his friend! I find this really strange as he gave me no explanation for not posting the photo but was willing to change his profile picture to him and his friend but not upload any photos of us

QueenRizla

Did you ask him why

Blondie1994

QueenRizla wrote: »

Did you ask him why

He said he just dosnt want the photo up online, he’s a private person and he didn’t want our relationship up on fb either but I can’t see the harm in a simple photo of him with his gf

Hitman3000

Blondie1994 wrote:

He said he just dosnt want the photo up online, he’s a private person and he didn’t want our relationship up on fb either but I can’t see the harm in a simple photo of him with his gf

He has his reasons, why would you not respect his request. What's more important to you? Him or FB likes?

Passenger

He said he's a private person. Case closed imo. Respect his privacy.

Heres Johnny

A simple explanation like he has given is sufficient. Doesn't want pictures up, that's fine. His right to be private trumps your right to post his picture.
I'm the same and plenty of people just don't get it I don't want everyone to know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it and who I'm doing it with 24/7

LegacyUser

She's not saying she wants to plaster pictures of them all over the internet. It's one photo of them dressed up at the races as a couple.
He allowed one of him and his mate up but not her so it's understandle that she feels a bit paranoid!!

riffmongous

Bit odd he's putting up other photos of himself with friends though

Addle

It's not like you're being kept a secret OP.
Just respect his wishes.

Tom Mann Centuria

If he didn't want pictures of himself up at all, then that's fine, but the fact he is happy for his pic to appear, but only with certain people? Suspect. Highly suspect.

bertsmom

Respect his wishes. Its simple really. You asked him why he told you why. Its up to him if and when he puts photos online. He CAN pick and choose and why not.
I dont pose for photos on a night out or allow pictures of myself on Facebook generally, simply because I am quite a private person and for no reason other than its nobody's business where I am or who I am with.
One particular couple I am friends with pop up photos of EVERYTHING and EVERY outing they go on as a family. Each to their own but that is not for me and when out with them I've often refused permission for them to include photos im in etc and they respect that.
Live your life and enjoy the time spent with your OH Facebook likes are unimportant.

nthclare

Facebook's more responsible for breakups than any other site on the internet...

I deleted mine today never on it until 3 months ago...well rid , its dull looking at it is almost like a drug induced trance...

Now instagram is like a party uplifting,colourful and not dull and blue...

I had all that drama with facebook and heard of breakups over photos and resentments etc

Its a vile place, nothing but drama....and humble bragging

Kuva

He hasn't a leg to stand on here about anything "privacy" if he's putting up the other pic.

Look for a reason, probably break up time.


Plus, facebook like wh*reing is bullsh1t. Did you go to racers just for the picture.

Probably why its break up time.

sReq | uTeK

Kuva wrote: »

He hasn't a leg to stand on here about anything "privacy" if he's putting up the other pic.

Look for a reason, probably break up time.


Plus, facebook like wh*reing is bullsh1t. Did you go to racers just for the picture.

Probably why its break up time.

wow incredible post. Im a married man,love my wife and kids would never and have never dreamed of cheating.

Few photos with mates probably, not a massive issue. sharing photos of the intimate side of my life, sorry not a hope that’s special and private to me and id like to keep it that way.

she is at the races with him and his friends, he’s hardly keeping her locked away out of sight of the world

JackTaylorFan

Agree with the people saying it's suspect. If he is private and has no pics of himself up, that is one thing - but he is clearly cherry-picking who he wants friends and family to see him with online. His behaviour is hypocritical at best.

blairbear

People saying that social media is the root of all evil and he has a right to privacy are singing off a different hymn sheet to the OP's generation. I presume she is 23/24 given the username. SM has infiltrated the younger millennial cohort as much as texting did in the late 90s/early 00s for the older crew. I am ten years her senior and all of my friends post very frequently on instagram etc. Also Facebook is not hugely popular with those in their early 20s. Insta is the be all and end all.

I would think this was a bit suss tbh. He is happy to have himself in photos at the races but not with the OP. Lads I know who have declined to share their relationship online (in one photo; not a drama filled status!) usually have an ex on the scene that they don't want to disgruntle, are texting a few girls or don't see their current relationship as a serious one.

Attacking the OP for wanting to post a nice picture with her boyfriend, whom I assume she is proud of and wants to shout it from the rooftops, is bloody unfair.

Social media is not just some noticebox tool for women to garner attention. I would be hurt too, OP. And you don't need permission from anyone to post a photo of yourself with your own boyfriend.

eviltwin

I have hardly any pics of my partner online. I love the guy to bits but it's a part of my life I want to keep private. He would be the same but has pics with friends and it's fine. Your social media relationship is not a reflection of your actual relationship.

nthclare

It wouldnt bother me either way whether she wanted me on Facebook or instagram.....

But keeping my or her dating situation private from the outside world is a forest of red flags....

Why would someone like to keep anyone from knowing they're dating someone private ?

Is it some new pagan belief it'll bring bad luck ?

I don't think so, its called being in control and akin to a potential monkey brancher....

My last fling was similar.....she was flagrantly showing off her nights out tagging her male friends and exe boyfriend in the middle holding a pint of the black stuff... and beach walks with her dog and friend were frequent...

The sad thing is she was quizzing me on the likes and hearts women put on my instagram not the guys....

I said jokingly when will you post a tag with me when we're out or on a hill walk....

Lets just say she got very resentful and went all defensively awkward....

3rd red flag....

Heres Johnny

Don't have to have a reason, just don't want it on social media is reason enough.
It's not all sinister there's a load of things I don't want up there myself, relationships being one of many.

Also holidays and advertising the fact I'm away and my house is empty is another one.

leggo

We haven't got a lot of info here, so I think anyone leaning either way with any particular conviction is being rash. The fact is OP, you haven't had this conversation in full before posting here, why? What are you afraid of finding out if you ask and what is your gut telling you? Like you should've asked him "Why are you okay putting up pictures with your friends and not us if you're private?" but held off for some reason.

I've been in situations where I've been all over social media with a person and it's gone horribly, I've also been in situations where I've posted nothing and it's grand. It's not something I have a stance on either way and not something I think there's a catch-all 'right' answer to. It's only it's a problem if it's a problem, and this is a problem for you, so get to the bottom of why and you'll have your answer.

leggo

nthclare wrote: »

Why would someone like to keep anyone from knowing they're dating someone private ?

All kinds of reasons. People with occupations like the Gardaí are very careful with social media and what they put up there. Some people just don't like sharing their private lives in public, they don't like to invite questions or scrutiny or whatever. I'd find it weirder if someone needed the world to see they were dating someone, it'd make the relationship itself seem falser, like it was a prop to validate their addiction to social media and/or seeking approval from others.

Ursus Horribilis

Is this is same boyfriend?

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057868900

nthclare

leggo wrote: »

All kinds of reasons. People with occupations like the Gardaí are very careful with social media and what they put up there. Some people just don't like sharing their private lives in public, they don't like to invite questions or scrutiny or whatever. I'd find it weirder if someone needed the world to see they were dating someone, it'd make the relationship itself seem falser, like it was a prop to validate their addiction to social media and/or seeking approval from others.

Sure you might as well not tell anyone your private information....

Never tell anyone where you eat...golf...day out...
Sure isnt that private too....

So would a person be better off posting up photos of blank walls.

They don't have to tag someone and say ohhh by the way im dating herself there in the photo's....

Sure ive photos of myself and my female friends together on instagram....im a guy they are women....

Ive a few with Sarah at the cliffs of moher last week....then Denise is with me in Fanore two
a day ago...

Theres a photo of me with a few old school mates who bumped into me in Nulas bar actually Friday night...

So whats the issue here, tag your friends and not your partner...

People must be dam confused looking at my Instagram, because they must think im a right romeo altogether.....

Ursus Horribilis

Blondie, if this is the same boyfriend you posted about before I don't know why you're expecting anything different from him. Why are you letting him treat you like this? Or more to the point, why are it still with him?

Rachiee

How long are you dating OP? I know myself Im friends with all sorts on facebook, cousins aunties old school friends and closer family. people who you wouldnt normally tell about dating/ relationships until you knew they were very serious.
After my last break up I felt humiliated that the relationship had been so public on facebook and then she disappeared from my feed it made me feel as though the breakup was public too. It might be just that he doesnt want pictures of you on his facebook until you are going out longer.

jimbev

He'll put up a picture of him and his mate but not you as a couple
He's a player and still chasing skirt

mazwell

Is this the same boyfriend who was looking up escorts? If it is I'd say it might be time to protect yourself and move on

tara73

mazwell wrote: »

Is this the same boyfriend who was looking up escorts? If it is I'd say it might be time to protect yourself and move on

yes, if it's the same guy, just two words are enough: get rid!

ginandtonicsky

Taken out of context, this could’ve been a guy that just likes to keep his private life private or who wants to wait until the relationship is a bit more established before he lets the “world” know through Facebook.

Taken in context with your last thread, this is a messer who will bring no good into your life and the fact that you keep making threads about the many relationship issues that have made you insecure is proof of that

paw patrol

jimbev wrote: »

He'll put up a picture of him and his mate but not you as a couple
He's a player and still chasing skirt

my thoughts exactly.

he wants to appear single for the ladies or at least that your relationship isn't that special

Eric Cartman

I know loads of lads who won't put up pictures of women they're seeing for a lot of legitimate reasons.

Some people have very nosey family members on Facebook, a picture of you with a girl and suddenly its the talk of the family and the pressure of somebody you might not be with a long time meeting your family intensifies.

There are a lot of women who love nothing more than gossip and social media stalking and sometimes worse. Ive mates who won't post up pictures of girlfriends till its 1 year + because if they do it before then it gets back to an ex, a b*tchy mate of an ex etc... and suddenly some poor girl is getting messages claiming their new bf is sleeping around , was in prison etc... trying to tear apart relationships .

Some people just like the privacy. I have people on my Facebook from school and other parts of my life that I'd rather not know who I'm in a relationship with or anything else. If theres photos of me and some lads down the pub, thats grand, not a talking point, but your missus is and its just idle gossip for morons with nothing better to do.

Katgurl

I would not be thrilled and would want to know his reasons OP.

LolaJJ

I was dating a guy on and off for 4.5 years who had this weird obsession with privacy and not having his face online, on my social media and his.

Turns out, said guy was seeing LOADS of girls ALL THE TIME.

I stopped seeing him nearly 3 years ago now and he very quickly met another girl who assumed the same role as me pretty much. I'm not in touch with him but we have a good few mutual friends who have made a point of noting how single his social media pages make him look.

My current boyfriend HATES social media and is also quite private. He has his FB set up so that no one can tag him in photos or posts, except me. He hasn't updated his profile picture in 5 years but i've tagged him in a few pics and he has no objection. Similarly he hates posing for selfies but never says no and doesn't care if I post them or not.

In short, it sounds like your guy is trying to appear single

Canyon86

Im in a new relationship less than 8 months, I d have no issue myself appearing on social media, I have been on her FB and snapchat story on a few occasions,

nthclare

LolaJJ wrote: »

I was dating a guy on and off for 4.5 years who had this weird obsession with privacy and not having his face online, on my social media and his.

Turns out, said guy was seeing LOADS of girls ALL THE TIME.

I stopped seeing him nearly 3 years ago now and he very quickly met another girl who assumed the same role as me pretty much. I'm not in touch with him but we have a good few mutual friends who have made a point of noting how single his social media pages make him look.

My current boyfriend HATES social media and is also quite private. He has his FB set up so that no one can tag him in photos or posts, except me. He hasn't updated his profile picture in 5 years but i've tagged him in a few pics and he has no objection. Similarly he hates posing for selfies but never says no and doesn't care if I post them or not.

In short, it sounds like your guy is trying to appear single

Its quite easy to distinguish honest people from their experience and hope here.

I cannot understand the posters who seem to be all about keeping their relationship status private.

100% of the people I knew who were in the same scenario as the op....were being cheated on, lied to and gaslighted by their partners...

Monkey branching is the new craze....

One partner is never enough....

Eric Cartman

nthclare wrote: »

Its quite easy to distinguish honest people from their experience and hope here.

I cannot understand the posters who seem to be all about keeping their relationship status private.

100% of the people I knew who were in the same scenario as the op....were being cheated on, lied to and gaslighted by their partners...

Monkey branching is the new craze....

One partner is never enough....

Jaysus , I didnt know we reached that horrible point in society where not putting everything oublic on facebook is automatic cheating

Ursus Horribilis

OP did you take that job you were offered abroad?

Did you ever ask him why he was looking up escorts?

leggo

nthclare wrote: »

Its quite easy to distinguish honest people from their experience and hope here.

I cannot understand the posters who seem to be all about keeping their relationship status private.

100% of the people I knew who were in the same scenario as the op....were being cheated on, lied to and gaslighted by their partners...

Monkey branching is the new craze....

One partner is never enough....

How many of these scenarios have you encountered though? 2? 3? So that 100% is hardly damning evidence now is it? Maybe you just hang around with people who go for bad partners.

nthclare

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Jaysus , I didnt know we reached that horrible point in society where not putting everything oublic on facebook is automatic cheating

Ahh come in I don't post to the extreme lol

Im not on Facebook but sure I'm only going by what I hear....its cool to be a non facebook user....

woodchuck

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Jaysus , I didnt know we reached that horrible point in society where not putting everything oublic on facebook is automatic cheating

In light of the fact that he's fine with posting pictures with his friends online, but not his girlfriend, I'd be a little suspicious alright.

However if this is the same guy the OP has posted about before, then it's just one piece of a larger puzzle and he absolutely sounds like a cheater.

nthclare

leggo wrote: »

How many of these scenarios have you encountered though? 2? 3? So that 100% is hardly damning evidence now is it? Maybe you just hang around with people who go for bad partners.

I know what you mean, maybe I need a change of scene...im a prophet of disaster...

Im working on it leggo, picking up the pieces and rebuilding a life for myself..

I suppose its never too late to change, thanks for the feedback much appreciated...