problem giving a non driver a lift to work

con___manx1

Hi i have been giveing a guy a lift to work for the last 6 months. When i agreed to this i was promised by him that he would get his own car in that time and it hasnt happened. I now believe he has no intention of getting one. I have gotten a new car in that time and the mileage is clocking up as its 108 k round trip.
I have to keep asking him for fuel money aswell. You would swear i was robbing him. He only pays half the fuel. When i agreed to give him a lift he suffered a bad bereavement and i felft a bit sorry for him. I would have charged him all the fuel otherwise.
In the last 6 weeks another guy car shares with me. The freeloader tags along and hasnt paid him any fuel or me since the end of may.
Anyone any sugesstions on what i should do ? He is really friendly with the other guy. I honestly feel like just telling him to **** off and good luck but that could be my carsharing out the window. I really hate freeloaders have they no shame.

daheff

I'm assuming you all work in the same place (or pretty close by?)

take a few days off....or a couple of sick days.. see how they manage to get to work.

Or start leaving at different times/ have something to do before/ after work which means you cant give them a lift.


In fairness the comment on the mileage of your car is irrelevant. you are going to do that mileage anyway going to work. But the other guy should give you half the petrol money. you need to drive there too...so you are using half the petrol as well.


how come you are now giving the second person a lift if you object to the first guy?

troyzer

Just be assertive and say that from now on, you want a third of the petrol money from each or you're not driving them anymore.

Simple.

Gwen Cooper

troyzer wrote: »

Just be assertive and say that from now on, you want a third of the petrol money from each or you're not driving them anymore.

Simple.

This.

You just need to tell him directly, in a nice way, that this can't go on and since you're all sharing the car, you should be sharing the cost of the drive as well.

cruizer101

con___manx1 wrote: »

but that could be my carsharing out the window.

I'm confused do you want to car share at all or not, or is it just the not being paid that annoys you.

messrs

In my previous job i used to get a lift to work with a girl - i got a bus to her house and met her there, she drove us to work, going home in the eve she would drop me back at her house and i would bus it home from there. We agreed to go 50/50 on petrol & Tolls

Gwen Cooper

cruizer101 wrote: »

I'm confused do you want to car share at all or not, or is it just the not being paid that annoys you.

The point of car sharing is that you reduce your travel costs. Of course he's annoyed that's he's not being paid.

noodler

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

The point of car sharing is that you reduce your travel costs. Of course he's annoyed that's he's not being paid.

In fairness, the poster is just looking for clarification.

If he doesn't want to car share at all then the comments about getting additional money are irrelevant.

troyzer

troyzer wrote: »

Just be assertive and say that from now on, you want a third of the petrol money from each or you're not driving them anymore.

Simple.

Actually, ask each for HALF. Or they can take a bus

Gwen Cooper

noodler wrote: »

In fairness, the poster is just looking for clarification.

If he doesn't want to car share at all then the comments about getting additional money are irrelevant.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but to me it's obvious that it's about the money - OP mentioned that they're giving a lift to someone else who pays, they also said that "carsharing could be out of the window", so they seem to like it or at least don't want to lose it.

Or am I reading between the lines too much?

namenotavailablE

Personally, I'd suggest asking for a little more than one-third of the weekly petrol costs from each passenger- otherwise, their share of the costs of wear & tear/ tax/ insurance/ vehicle depreciation aren't being covered in any way by their contributions.

OMM 0000

Disable the electric windows and start doing crazy farts.

cruizer101

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but to me it's obvious that it's about the money

In OP they said When i agreed to this i was promised by him that he would get his own car in that time and it hasnt happened which implies they were happy to do it initially as they thought it would be a temporary thing.

So first they need to decide do they want to car share at all. If so the lack of payment is obviously an issue that needs to be dealt with, but if not just say they can't car share anymore.

Gwen Cooper

cruizer101 wrote: »

In OP they said When i agreed to this i was promised by him that he would get his own car in that time and it hasnt happened which implies they were happy to do it initially as they thought it would be a temporary thing.

So first they need to decide do they want to car share at all. If so the lack of payment is obviously an issue that needs to be dealt with, but if not just say they can't car share anymore.

OP also said this:

I honestly feel like just telling him to **** off and good luck but that could be my carsharing out the window.

This line leads me to believe that they don't want to lose the car share. But let's just wait for OP to get back to us and clarify, no point arguing here

KathleenGrant

They don't want to lose the car share with the second person who is friendly with the non-driver. The OP was clear enough I thought.

Franz Von Peppercorn

namenotavailabl wrote: »

Personally, I'd suggest asking for a little more than one-third of the weekly petrol costs from each passenger- otherwise, their share of the costs of wear & tear/ tax/ insurance/ vehicle depreciation aren't being covered in any way by their contributions.

If you read the op he initially wanted to charge all the fuel costs.

Franz Von Peppercorn

KathleenGrant wrote: »

They don't want to lose the car share with the second person who is friendly with the non-driver. The OP was clear enough I thought.

No he wasn’t. That guy didn’t pay anything at all.
He wants rid of him.

I wonder if there’s a company benefit to car sharing.

tedpan

It's so annoying when this stuff happens, I know exactly how you feel OP.

Some people will constantly take and when you question them on it they make you feel ****e or that you're a bad person for even thinking about it. I know if it was the other way round and I needed help or a favour I'd be covering expenses plus extra.

So fed up of free loaders..

beertons

Take a weeks holiday, see how yer man gets to work then.

Franz Von Peppercorn

I’m still not getting why the first guy who pays half the fuel is freeloading. The other guy shouldn’t have just tagged along but the op could have stopped that.

Daz_

Just find it ironic that the OP is called Con Man.. tables turned lol

BigCon

Easy, just say you need €x per week for carrying them.
Are there any insurance implications if you're charging for giving people lifts?

Franz Von Peppercorn

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

I’m still not getting why the first guy who pays half the fuel is freeloading. The other guy shouldn’t have just tagged along but the op could have stopped that.

The second guy drives half the time, or am I misunderstanding it?

tedpan

I think the OP said he hasn't paid anything since May. Only the new guy is paying.

It's difficult sometimes to say anything, the majority of people don't like confrontations. If he's anything like me, the rage will build up, there'll be an outburst in a month's time and the freeloader will get the message

Franz Von Peppercorn

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The second guy drives half the time, or am I misunderstanding it?

No you are right. I thought the freeloader was the new car share guy.

Doctors room ghost

beertons wrote: »

Take a weeks holiday, see how yer man gets to work then.

No need for wasting annual leave.just tell Johnny no car you want x amount a week to cover his share of the cars running costs to make things square and you want it in a timely and appreciative manner or else Rev up and fcuk away off and thumb to work.not your problem then.take the bulleen by the horns and no beating around the bush

glomar

just say no !

homosapien91

Used to car share with a girl I worked with, she never gave me a penny for petrol for months and when I confronted her about it we got into a massive argument with her point being I was driving to work anyway and buying petrol so what was the big deal, she has since left the company and I haven't really spoke to her since. Just be careful how you approach it, if the guy is a decent person then he should have no problem paying his share of fuel costs

seamus

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

I’m still not getting why the first guy who pays half the fuel is freeloading. The other guy shouldn’t have just tagged along but the op could have stopped that.

The impression I get is that there now two drivers who share the driving duties and a non-driver who tags along. It's fine for the drivers; they're sharing the driving duties so fuel costs balance out in the end.

But the 3rd guy is getting a free ride.

I'd basically go to the other driver and ask what he thinks about mr tagalong. If he's happy to drive him without payment, then the OP can make it more complicated by asking for the fuel costs on the days that he drives. Or he could abandon it altogether.

Doctors room ghost

homosapien91 wrote: »

Used to car share with a girl I worked with, she never gave me a penny for petrol for months and when I confronted her about it we got into a massive argument with her point being I was driving to work anyway and buying petrol so what was the big deal, she has since left the company and I haven't really spoke to her since. Just be careful how you approach it, if the guy is a decent person then he should have no problem paying his share of fuel costs

You had right to tell her it costs a fortune to haul her fat frame around in a car and it would be cheaper pull a cowbox after you with 2 good weanlings in it.ha that would quieten her

SirChenjin

Deleted User wrote: »

The second guy drives half the time, or am I misunderstanding it?

That's how I read it also.

LegacyUser

My reading of the OP is this:

OP and the freeloader started the car share with the understanding that the freeloader would buy a car and start doing 50% of the driving. This hasn't happened and the OP has to hound him to pay for his share of the fuel.

Now a 2nd driver has joined the car share so the OP and 2nd driver split the driving 50/50 but the freeloader is not contributing towards the driving or the fuel costs.

The OP wants to continue the car share with the 2nd driver but not the freeloader but 2nd driver is good friends with freeloader.

OP you are going to have to be direct and risk loosing the car share I'm afraid. The best solution is to be blunt and just see what happens.

TheRiverman

con___manx1 wrote: »

Hi i have been giveing a guy a lift to work for the last 6 months. When i agreed to this i was promised by him that he would get his own car in that time and it hasnt happened. I now believe he has no intention of getting one. I have gotten a new car in that time and the mileage is clocking up as its 108 k round trip.
I have to keep asking him for fuel money aswell. You would swear i was robbing him. He only pays half the fuel. When i agreed to give him a lift he suffered a bad bereavement and i felft a bit sorry for him. I would have charged him all the fuel otherwise.
In the last 6 weeks another guy car shares with me. The freeloader tags along and hasnt paid him any fuel or me since the end of may.
Anyone any sugesstions on what i should do ? He is really friendly with the other guy. I honestly feel like just telling him to **** off and good luck but that could be my carsharing out the window. I really hate freeloaders have they no shame.

Freeloaders can be a nuisance,but be careful if you are insisting on him paying his share for fuel,as it may invalidate the terms of your insurance.Check "Limitations as to use" on your policy and "This policy does not cover".Does it say "this policy does not cover use for hire or reward ?.I am not sure,but would charging him for fuel be a reward ?.

passatman86

If hints of petrol money aint working then stop the lifts - tell them your routine has changed you have a swim each time before work or you go gym each time before work..

con___manx1

daheff wrote: »

I'm assuming you all work in the same place (or pretty close by?)

take a few days off....or a couple of sick days.. see how they manage to get to work.

Or start leaving at different times/ have something to do before/ after work which means you cant give them a lift.


In fairness the comment on the mileage of your car is irrelevant. you are going to do that mileage anyway going to work. But the other guy should give you half the petrol money. you need to drive there too...so you are using half the petrol as well.


how come you are now giving the second person a lift if you object to the first guy?

I wouldnt have givein him a lift if he hadnt lied to me about getting a car at the beginning or else i would have charged him thr full diesel. It would lower my mileage if he had one and also wear and tare on my car.
The second guy has a car. We car share but this is only a recent thing.
The freeloader isnt giveing him money either.
I am useing the petrol aswell but im also paying tax insurance nct. Car serviceing. My tryes are 800 euro for a new set.
whst kind of person applies for a job over 50k from where they live with no public transport there.
Some people have some neck.

Corca Baiscinn

con___manx1 wrote: »

I wouldnt have givein him a lift if he hadnt lied to me about getting a car at the beginning or else i would have charged him thr full diesel.

It's understandable you're annoyed since you thought you'd be car-sharing with this guy before long and thus lowering the cost of your commute but as other posters have said you need to be careful re charging for more than half the fuel.

Thoughts: 1 Does your workmate drive and has he a full licence?

2. Before you started giving this guy a lift you were drving over 50 km to work and carrying all the expense so was it always your intention to find a car-share?

GarIT

Get the splitwise app. Every time you do anything on the car you can add the receipt and the % he owes and it will add up what he owes you and you can send him balance reminders whenever you want.

I'd be going further than that, there are so many hidden costs to driving someone. You're taking the insurance risk everyday, you probably waste time picking up and dropping off, that is making your journey longer in terms of both petrol and time which also has value. You don't get to be alone and listen to what you want as loud as you want, you don't have full control over the windows temperature.

If I was giving someone a lift each way 5 days a week, they would be paying for half of my petrol everytime I fill up including for any driving I do without them or else I wouldn't be bothered.

Forget to pick them up, go to work, act normal don't say anything to anyone until they ask and then act out the realisation. Phone was on silent so you didn't notice the missed calls. If they have a problem with it "it's easy to forget, you seem to do it often enough with paying me"

GarIT

To all the people going along the had the cost of traveling anyway route. Can I live in your spare room rent free? Sure you were living there anyway weren't you?

Someone taking up space in my car owes me car rent.

KathleenGrant

Yes the OP was travelling to work anyway but if the other guy had to buy and run a car it would cost him a lot. He is saving a lot of money by travelling with someone else. He should be delighted to only pay diesel.

ganmo

Pull into a station on the way home fill up and then ask him for his half.

road_high

These threads never cease to amaze me- some very decent, kind people out there but unfortunately an equal number of opposite lazy freeloaders taking them for a free ride (pun intended).
FFS just lay it on the line- pay up or walk.

road_high

con___manx1 wrote: »

I wouldnt have givein him a lift if he hadnt lied to me about getting a car at the beginning or else i would have charged him thr full diesel. It would lower my mileage if he had one and also wear and tare on my car.
The second guy has a car. We car share but this is only a recent thing.
The freeloader isnt giveing him money either.
I am useing the petrol aswell but im also paying tax insurance nct. Car serviceing. My tryes are 800 euro for a new set.
whst kind of person applies for a job over 50k from where they live with no public transport there.
Some people have some neck.

But it's your car and you and only you decide who hops in and out. I'd imagine he never intended to get a car- these leeches have a honing instinct for easy, good natured targets. Anyhow none of this is your problem- you have to get yourself to work not anyone else.

listermint

I'd move jobs. Because telling everyone you don't want to give them lifts will be awkward

Kopparberg Strawberry and Lime

There are bigger costs other than already mentioned with these type of people

OP, I'd tell them off altogether and claim back my car for myself if I was you

If God forbid there's an accident, they'd be the first ones to get the solicitor to put in personal injury claims and all of a sudden your in a world of headaches and insurance costs , liability etc

And you'll be forever rode for it

I'd tell them to jog on , forget sharing or splitting costs etc.

road_high

listermint wrote: »

I'd move jobs. Because telling everyone you don't want to give them lifts will be awkward

Seriously, you'd move jobs for something as trivial as lifts? The OP never said they didn't want to give lifts- the issue is not being paid a fair share of the costs. Cars don't run on fresh air.

gwalk

One evening after work when they get into the car, lock the doors and drive 50 km in the opposite direction to home.

Tell them to get out

Drive off home

They won't come looking for a lift again

BuboBubo

I had the very same issue a few years ago, and here is what I did -

Set a date in your head, this is the day this ends (eg, we'll say 1st of August ). Next Monday You have both of them in the car, perfect! So you tell them both;

"Right lads, letting ye know, from 1st August I'll be travelling alone, so ye may make other arrangements". They might ask for a reason, "family stuff/kids/My sister... Look I don't want to talk about it, but from 1st August I won't (not can't - WON'T) be carrying ye anymore."

Do not apologise, do not go into details, just straight and cold. And be clear, no waffle.

There will be a very short lived awkwardness. That's all. I've been that soldier op, I'm a fcukin veteran.

Best of luck - you CAN do this. Relish the peace and quiet ME time your commute will become. You won't know yourself!

SirChenjin

OmegaGene wrote: »

Talk to the other driver that you car share with and come to a decision about the amount to charge the fella with no car
Pay up Monday morning before you leave and if no money is coming forward then leave him at home

+1 to this.

listermint

road_high wrote: »

Seriously, you'd move jobs for something as trivial as lifts? The OP never said they didn't want to give lifts- the issue is not being paid a fair share of the costs. Cars don't run on fresh air.

Yes I'd move job.... Joke.

I'd actually just buy a motorcycle and be done with them.
Simple solution

Ursus Horribilis

If I had to carry colleagues every day, I'd come to bitterly resent it. I don't mind giving colleagues a lift if they're stuck and have done so in the past. Having to keep to their timetable is another matter entirely. Sometimes I don't go straight home after work or I've got other plans. If I had to bring these tulips home every single feckin' day I'd hate it. Let them go and buy their own cars if they can't get to work.

TheRiverman

Apart from a post by Koppaberg Strawberry and Lime and myself no one else seems to think there could be an insurance issue here.