Lube for Masturbation

Gael23

Particularly for the males in the audience, when you run out of required lubricant to enjoy some personal time, what do you use to improvise?

Boscoirl

Diesel

endacl

Deep Heat.

Report back.

Hitman3000

Chilli sauce, the hottest you can find.

Agent Smith

Gael23 wrote: »

Particularly for the males in the audience, when you run out of required lubricant to enjoy some personal time, what do you use to improvise?

Axel Grease of course..

Fr_Dougal

Vaginas.

Signore Fancy Pants

This post has been deleted.

Are Am Eye

Tears.

dotsman

Thank my parents for not mutilating my genitals due to "superstitious tradition"

Yore ma.

EPAndlee

The tears of my victims

No more nails.

Much better than with nails.

prinzeugen

You must have dicks like dried parsnips if you need extra lube.

prinzeugen

prinzeugen wrote: »

You must have dicks like dried parsnips if you need extra lube.

As opposed to your perma-drip mickey?

Gael23

prinzeugen wrote: »

You must have dicks like dried parsnips if you need extra lube.

I cant do anything without lube. Was desperate tonight and used shower gel

Hitman3000

Gael23 wrote:

I cant do anything without lube. Was desperate tonight and used shower gel

Mint leaf and tea tree oil? Cooling and burning sensation all the one time.

Gael23

Gael23 wrote: »

I cant do anything without lube. Was desperate tonight and used shower gel

Imperial Leather, right?

Regal and kinky all at the same time.

Beanntraigheach

Sand

whisky_galore

Duckhams or Castrol.

Gael23

JayZeus wrote: »

Imperial Leather, right?

Regal and kinky all at the same time.

That stuff would burn bad!

Made by Whiank, safe on pipes



Equally handy for washing underpants.

Pugzilla

WD40, can be used for anything.

prinzeugen

JayZeus wrote: »

As opposed to your perma-drip mickey?

It always drips when required. Joys of being healthy!

prinzeugen

prinzeugen wrote: »

It always drips when required. Joys of being healthy!

Or riddled with VD.

wirelessdude01

Super glue

mad muffin

Olive oil

Gael23

Cif is a good one too

North inner city hoodlum

Mayonnaise with a dollop of tomato sauce.

Gael23

Gael23 wrote: »

Cif is a good one too

If you scrape the cheese off first there’s no need to go with anything heavier than a mild soap.

Gael23

JayZeus wrote: »

If you scrape the cheese off first there’s no need to go with anything heavier than a mild soap.

It was either that or shower gel tonight!

TomOnBoard

I make my own lube. You can too!

Cooked a mixture of milk or cream and egg yolk over a medium heat. Stir gently. Allow to cool....

In no time at all:










You'll be fcuking discusted!!!

Gael23

Gael23 wrote: »

It was either that or shower gel tonight!

I can’t believe we’re a couple of pages in and nobody said it yet;

You are such a wanker.

prinzeugen

JayZeus wrote: »

Or riddled with VD.

Oh. Ha bloody ha. Seriously, if you cant "self lubricate", you should visit a doctor.

Its not me that has a medical problem down there!

Cee-Jay-Cee

Swarfega.

Yourmama

JayZeus wrote:

Yore ma.

You wish

mcmoustache

I have a foreskin and my bits do what they should so I don't need lube. If you need lube, you 're probably doing it wrong or your bits aren't working properly. You may need to consult a doctor or get lessons off youtube.

prinzeugen

prinzeugen wrote: »

Oh. Ha bloody ha. Seriously, if you cant "self lubricate", you should visit a doctor.

Its not me that has a medical problem down there!

I’ll take your word for it. The problem is that the rest of us have a much greater surface area to lubricate, so we need to supplement the few drips that do the job for you.

AndyBoBandy

Franks Bufalo Wing sauce, and if you don’t have it handy;

Drill a hole in a pineapple.

Pauliedragon

I use the jizz from my previous ****.

Yourmama

Yourmama wrote: »

You wish

Pics or GTFO

Try_harder

Peach?

mcmoustache

prinzeugen wrote: »

Oh. Ha bloody ha. Seriously, if you cant "self lubricate", you should visit a doctor.

Its not me that has a medical problem down there!

Sorry, I basically said what you did.


OP, listen to Prinz. He's evidently skilled in this expression of manliness.

Gael23

mcmoustache wrote: »

I have a foreskin and my bits do what they should so I don't need lube. If you need lube, you 're probably doing it wrong or your bits aren't working properly. You may need to consult a doctor or get lessons off youtube.

The downside of circumcision is that it means your bits dont work the same way.

mcmoustache

JayZeus wrote: »

I’ll take your word for it. The problem is that the rest of us have a much greater surface area to lubricate, so we need to supplement the few drips that do the job for you.

Are you finishing yourself after a minute or something? Take your time, lad. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Pugzilla

I got foreskin too, but you need some lube for those 5-6 hour edging sessions on pornhub.

mcmoustache

mcmoustache wrote: »

Are you finishing yourself after a minute or something? Take your time, lad. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Lad?

Huh huh.

/sniggering

mcmoustache

Gael23 wrote: »

The downside of circumcision is that it means your bits dont work the same way.

I agree. It's like having a hand and chopping the thumb off. It might look interesting but it'll be useless for ****.

mcmoustache

Pugzilla wrote: »

I got foreskin too, but you need some lube for those 5-6 hour edging sessions on pornhub.

I disagree. You should be going through tissue, not lube on a 6-hour marathon.

mcmoustache

mcmoustache wrote: »

I agree. It's like having a hand and chopping the thumb off. It might look interesting but it'll be useless for ****.

Give us a picture of it and 3 minutes and we’ll be the judge of that.

umop episdn

I find catshïte is perfect...
greases up the old fella perfectly in the morning, but you'll never dally and be late for work because of the smell...it's a win-win with a fast & furious ****!

Gael23

mcmoustache wrote: »

I agree. It's like having a hand and chopping the thumb off. It might look interesting but it'll be useless for ****.

I was done as a child so dont know any different, I just have to use lube. Sex though is hard. Often I cant ejaculate.