How much should I give to my brother on his wedding day?

Pissy Missy

After doing research on how much money to give a sibling on their wedding day, anywhere from €200 - €1500 seems to be the norm. How much have/ would you give?

aquinn

Like anything it's a case of how close are you and what can you afford.

punisher5112

Totally up to you I would suggest a nice thoughtful gift of something he really likes and herself of course.

€500 or more I believe is excessive and I don't believe a brother or sister would expect it.

baby and crumble

It's entirely based, I think, on where you are in life.

When my brothers got married I was a broke student, so I didn't give money at all but sourced gifts that were not expensive but meant a lot- i even made one, which before anyone goes "oh god naff" it was something menaingful and I'm skilled at making - it wasn't "art" :pac:

When I got married one of my brothers and his wife gave us €200 was I thought was super generous considering they had to travel from the UK and stay in the hotel for 2 days, and the other got us a beautiful piece of art for our house which I adore and whilst I know wasn't mad expensive, they're about to have a baby so every penny counts, and I'd rather them spend ther money on their upcoming arrival than a present to me.

Now, every family is different but most, I think, are aware of where you are with money and I honestly think the majority of people getting married don't expect lots of gifts, even from family.

Hitman3000

Nice casserole set or duvet covers.

lazygal

All our siblings gave us nothing when we got married. There were vague promises about 'we must get you something, aren't we awful' but after seven years I don't think we should expect anything.

woodchuck

Personally I think 200 is plenty (if you can afford it).

Some people seem to be going crazy again with the cash gifts... is the boom really back?

ELM327

Anything above 200-250 is ridiculous IMO.

SarahS2013

I gave my sister €250 coz her wedding was abroad.
Has she had it at home I would have given her €500.

We're close, and I was maid of honour.

As someone who is getting married in the near future, I can tell you cash is king.

splinter65

Give whatever you are financially comfortable with. Please don’t put yourself in any kind of debt, it’s ludicrous.

ELM327

I gave €250, as best man.
And I think that's the ceiling really, anything else is ludicrous.

GingerLily

ELM327 wrote: »

I gave €250, as best man.
And I think that's the ceiling really, anything else is ludicrous.

I've given 400e before, but the B&G paid for accommodation so we felt we should be more generous. That was our ceiling!

Teyla Emmagan

SarahS2013 wrote:

As someone who is getting married in the near future, I can tell you cash is king.

Definitely duvet sets so.

splinter65

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Definitely duvet sets so.

...and a canteen of Newbridge cutlery.

SarahS2013

splinter65 wrote: »

...and a canteen of Newbridge cutlery.

Very useful altogether :rolleyes:

Pissy Missy

Thanks all! I'm thinking I'll be giving €200-€300, the money won't be rolling in til some time yet for me, so they'll just have to do with it :D

SheepGoHere

The hundreds and hundreds of euro blows my mind. I think it's bizarre. We as a couple usually give somewhere between 150-300 quid, depending on circumstances. Usually it's 200.

splinter65

SarahS2013 wrote: »

Very useful altogether :rolleyes:

Well I’m going to your wedding and that’s what I’ve got you.

ec18

SheepGoHere wrote: »

The hundreds and hundreds of euro blows my mind. I think it's bizarre. We as a couple usually give somewhere between 150-300 quid, depending on circumstances. Usually it's 200.

as a couple that's normal from my experience

For a family member like a brother or sister. For example if my sister was getting married I'd probably give in the region of 1,000 but thats based on my circumstances and the relationship we have

TheValeyard

Direct family, 200 is fine.

woodchuck

ec18 wrote: »

For example if my sister was getting married I'd probably give in the region of 1,000 but thats based on my circumstances and the relationship we have

:eek::eek::eek:

That's absolutely fair enough if you can easily afford to give that much and you have a close relationship. However for the sake of the OP, I just wanted to say that I don't think this is the norm. I've heard of parents giving 4 figure amounts, but never siblings.

Pissy Missy

I'm currently in college and have a student loan and working as part of my course however I do not get paid for this; if things were different, I'd happily give more but €200-€300 is the most I can afford. But based on people's feedback this seems to be an acceptable amount so I'm content with that.

GingerLily

Pissy Missy wrote: »

I'm currently in college and have a student loan and working as part of my course however I do not get paid for this; if things were different, I'd happily give more but €200-€300 is the most I can afford. But based on people's feedback this seems to be an acceptable amount so I'm content with that.

If your that broke I would even say give less and when your flush you can make it up to them if you really want.

I don't think there should be a limit on the generosity for family, but at the same time no one should ever spend money they don't have!

Citygirl1

Pissy Missy wrote: »

I'm currently in college and have a student loan and working as part of my course however I do not get paid for this; if things were different, I'd happily give more but €200-€300 is the most I can afford. But based on people's feedback this seems to be an acceptable amount so I'm content with that.

Given your circumstances, I really don't think you should be giving a cash gift at all, and certainly not that much. If I was your brother I'd be very embarrassed to receive it, from someone on no income and already in debt. Assuming he knows you are not paid, I'd suggest getting something nice for the house, or a restaurant voucher for 2.

200 is my standard for any wedding, around 300 if I'm a groomsman for the person getting married. Haven't had a sibling get married yet but I'd be giving a big gift. At least 600 but most likely more, it's something I would decide at the time.

mvl

Jayson Repulsive Balloonist wrote: »

200 is my standard for any wedding, around 300 if I'm a groomsman for the person getting married. Haven't had a sibling get married yet but I'd be giving a big gift. At least 600 but most likely more, it's something I would decide at the time.

is this rate for a single person, or couple ?

OP, retrospectively (as I've been through a wedding myself), I would prefer gifts from close ppl like siblings, and not more money.

Pissy Missy

mvl wrote: »

Jayson Repulsive Balloonist wrote: »

200 is my standard for any wedding, around 300 if I'm a groomsman for the person getting married. Haven't had a sibling get married yet but I'd be giving a big gift. At least 600 but most likely more, it's something I would decide at the time.

is this rate for a single person, or couple ?

OP, retrospectively (as I've been through a wedding myself), I would prefer gifts from close ppl like siblings, and not more money.

Thanks MVL, was there any close gifts that you particularly liked or do you have any suggestions?

pooch90

splinter65 wrote: »

...and a canteen of Newbridge cutlery.

I'm laughing away to myself, we got one for our wedding 4 years ago and it hasn't ever been out of the box :P

I also agree with MLV that I'd prefer a nice gift from family, especially if they were strapped for cash.
Etsy has lots of nice gifts you could get personalised without breaking the bank.

SeaFields

I think as it's a brother I'd look beyond cash just cash. For mine I gave him (and her I suppose!) a cash gif but as well I gave a memory of their day. That was, for their civil ceremony I was asked to do a reading from an old book. I got that reading engraved on stone along with their names and marriage date. Didn't cost a whole lot but has uniqueness about it. Hope that helps.

mvl

guess it depends alot on their preferences. would they have a wedding list ? or is anyone in the family you can consult with ? in general i would think quality objects both of them would use, and that lasts longer.
- in my family tradition being luxury linen for the house, i got attached more to gifts from this category.
heard more recently of gifting a tree to be planted in the garden - and I find that interesting too (guess this won't work for everyone).

mvl

mvl wrote: »

is this rate for a single person, or couple ?

OP, retrospectively (as I've been through a wedding myself), I would prefer gifts from close ppl like siblings, and not more money.

A couple, though the sibling gift is a bit different as I wouldn’t be expecting my oh to give half of a big gift.

As for cash or gifts, cash all day long and I guess most couples would be the same.

mvl

btw, OP, think I've seen another similar thread today in After Hours.
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057881751

- more opinions about the ethics of giving/receiving money or gifts in a wedding.

Canis Lupus

I wouldn't expect anything off my siblings. My brothers wedding is coming up soon, hadn't really thought about giving him money. He's well off enough as it is :P

200 for a couple is my limit for friends weddings.

OP if you're studying in college I wouldn't worry too much about money. Your brother would want to be a bit mean to expect it.

erica74

Only give what you can afford to give. If you can only afford to give a card and a couple of scratch cards, then that's what you give. No decent person getting married would be happy for their guests to put themselves under financial pressure to attend a wedding and give a gift if they can't afford to do so.

Sebastian Dangerfield

I gave my sister €500. She gave me a gift that probably cost around €200, she earns a lot less and has a bigger family, though I wouldn't have expected anything.

On the inlaw side, we got €500 from one brother and his partner, and €300 from a single brother.

SirChenjin

In your circumstances, I would think a cash gift would be out of the question, OP. Some lovely suggestions upthread about personal gifts you could give, if you can.
I genuinely would be surprised if anyone has an expectation of you giving them cash that you simply do not have to give.