Babies should be asked for consent before you change their nappies, says expert

c68zapdsm5i1ru

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/im-going-change-your-nappy-12511101

Heard it all now :eek:

Fr_Dougal

#mepoo

Fr_Dougal

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

#mepoo

Pound me poo?

wexie

sooo.....no clean nappies until they can speak then?

or nod at least?

and aside from all that.....hands up if you've ever had a toddler who didn't want a clean nappie but was stinking to high heavens and /or dribbling **** down their leg

sentient_6

Sometimes I feel like we're in a giant trolling experiment and don't know it.

Pelvis

What if I ask and the baby doesn't remember in the morning?

sbsquarepants

Well, I have a newborn and a 2 year old in nappies at the moment, and you better believe consent needs to be obtained from the two year old.
Anyone who thinks otherwise has never tried to clean shít off a 2 year old mid tantrum:D

whisky_galore

The Mirror. Soft, strong and absorbent.

Brian?

Sensationalist headline.

It’s PC gone mad responses.

No one actually stops to really read and understand what was said.


The holy trinity of After Hours openers.

The “expert” never said to wait for consent to be given, that’s just stupid. It’s just a method of role modelling correct behaviours very early. I don’t see what harm could be done.

Brian?

Brian? wrote: »

Sensationalist headline.

It’s PC gone mad responses.

No one actually stops to really read and understand what was said.


The holy trinity of After Hours openers.

The “expert” never said to wait for consent to be given, that’s just stupid. It’s just a method of role modelling correct behaviours very early. I don’t see what harm could be done.

She literally said to wait for an indication. And what on Earth is "consent in the home" anyways?

Auguste Comte

who describes herself on Twitter as a

That's all I need to read to know the story was a load of nappy filler..

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Brian? wrote: »

Sensationalist headline.

It’s PC gone mad responses.

No one actually stops to really read and understand what was said.


The holy trinity of After Hours openers.

The “expert” never said to wait for consent to be given, that’s just stupid. It’s just a method of role modelling correct behaviours very early. I don’t see what harm could be done.

Oh don't be so rude and patronising. We can all 'read and understand' as well as you can. Of course no one thinks she's was advocating waiting for the baby to say "oh all right then. But be quick about it". But the whole gist of the article is daft.

circadian

Currently dealing with the "terrible two's" and making a point of asking "will we change your nappy?" helps avoid a screaming match and dealing with a tantrum and a ****ty nappy is minus craic.

Obviously, there is no real negotiation. It's going to happen anyway but when the kids agree then it's a lot less stressful.

Brian?

[Deleted User] wrote: »

She literally said to wait for an indication. And what on Earth is "consent in the home" anyways?

In fairness, this is exactly what she said

"Yes, just about how to set up a culture of consent in their homes so 'I'm going to change your nappy now, is that OK,' Deanne responded.

"Of course a baby is not going to respond 'yes mum that's awesome, I'd love to have my nappy changed'.

"But if you leave a space, and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you're letting that child know that their response matters."

It’s not about getting consent to change the nappy, it’s about the parent and child learning that the response matters. It makes perfect sense to me.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

circadian wrote: »

Currently dealing with the "terrible two's" and making a point of asking "will we change your nappy?" helps avoid a screaming match and dealing with a tantrum and a ****ty nappy is minus craic.

Obviously, there is no real negotiation. It's going to happen anyway but when the kids agree then it's a lot less stressful.

Yes, I'll often say 'maybe we should change your nappy first?', or 'how about we change your nappy now'?

But it's a rhetorical question, I'm not actually going to take their reply into account.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Brian? wrote: »

In fairness, this is exactly what she said



It’s not about getting consent to change the nappy, it’s about the parent and child learning that the response matters. It makes perfect sense to me.

But their response doesn't matter. You're going to change their nappy anyway. So what exactly is this teaching babies/toddlers?

Brian?

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

Oh don't be so rude and patronising. We can all 'read and understand' as well as you can. Of course no one thinks she's was advocating waiting for the baby to say "oh all right then. But be quick about it". But the whole gist of the article is daft.

You post a one liner, an emoji and a link. With zero evidence you’ve understand the gist of the article.

What makes it daft exactly?

Sonics2k

Who gives a toss what she said?

Why even respond to it? Nonsense like this shouldn't be acknowledged.

major bill

Yawn zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Threads like these need their own forum...sorry but I couldn't care about what some weird looking clown thinks we should or should not do and I could just ignore but nearly every fecking thread on After hours is related to some ''PC'' nonsense.

Please for the love of god stop!!!

Brian?

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

But their response doesn't matter. You're going to change their nappy anyway. So what exactly is this teaching babies/toddlers?

It’s called role modelling positive behaviours. You ask and wait for an answer. If the child is old enough to talk, you explain why the nappy needs to be changed. If the child isn’t old enough to talk, they may be old enough to understand, so you explain.

I'd certainly agree with the importance of eye contact, but the rest is hmmm, to be polite about it. Still, whatshername got her 15 seconds of fame.

I think a child would prefer to be distracted from their discomfort/pain during the nappy change rather than engage in a discussion on consent. I was reading a fantastic part of Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Test book the other day and he was talking about the importance of adults distracting children in pain/unhappiness: they actually learn to control their own responses from a much earlier age and avoid getting hysterical. The book exuded insight that went beyond the original, famous marshmallow tests of the 1960s.

Brian?

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

Yes, I'll often say 'maybe we should change your nappy first?', or 'how about we change your nappy now'?

But it's a rhetorical question, I'm not actually going to take their reply into account.

With respect you should take their response into account. It doesn’t mean you don’t change the nappy, but you attempt to come to an agreement. It teaches the child the importance of consent and dialogue.

Otherwise you teach the child to do what you say at all times. That’s not going to last long.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

major bill wrote: »

Yawn zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Threads like these need their own forum...sorry but I couldn't care about what some weird looking clown thinks we should or should not do and I could just ignore but nearly every fecking thread on After hours is related to some ''PC'' nonsense.

Please for the love of god stop!!!

Yet, despite your boredom, you took the time to open the thread and comment.

circadian

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'd certainly agree with the importance of eye contact, but the rest is hmmm, to be polite about it. Still, whatshername got her 15 seconds of fame.

I think a child would prefer to be distracted from their discomfort/pain during the nappy change rather than engage in a discussion on consent. I was reading a fantastic part of Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Test book the other day and he was talking about the importance of adults distracting children in pain/unhappiness: they actually learn to control their own responses from a much earlier age and avoid getting hysterical. The book exuded insight that went beyond the original, famous marshmallow tests of the 1960s.

Discomfort or pain from a nappy change? Are you holding them upside down by one leg??

bluefinger

Ok car, im gonna give you some petrol now is that ok? I know you are unable to respond but what's important is that I asked you.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd certainly agree with the importance of eye contact, but the rest is hmmm, to be polite about it. Still, whatshername got her 15 seconds of fame.

I think a child would prefer to be distracted from their discomfort/pain during the nappy change rather than engage in a discussion on consent. I was reading a fantastic part of Walter Mischel's Marshmallow Test book the other day and he was talking about the importance of adults distracting children in pain/unhappiness: they actually learn to control their own responses from a much earlier age and avoid getting hysterical. The book exuded insight that went beyond the original, famous marshmallow tests of the 1960s.

Yes, I find turning on a musical mobile toy or something is more likely to distract the baby and keep them happy while you're changing them, than pretending you've sought their consent.

major bill

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

Yet, despite your boredom, you took the time to open the thread and comment.

Did you read my post? I said I could ignore but After hours is increasingly been filled with these ****e threads.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Brian? wrote: »

With respect you should take their response into account. It doesn’t mean you don’t change the nappy, but you attempt to come to an agreement. It teaches the child the importance of consent and dialogue.

Otherwise you teach the child to do what you say at all times. That’s not going to last long.

How do you come to an agreement with a baby? Genuine question, not being sarcastic.

wandatowell

Deleted User wrote: »

Pound me poo?

I got the joke.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

major bill wrote: »

Did you read my post? I said I could ignore but After hours is increasingly been filled with these ****e threads.

Yes, but you don't have to open them. I would say the vast majority of threads on here are about things I'm not interested in. So guess what? I don't bother reading them. But I realise that other people want to discuss those topics, so I wouldn't barge in and start yaaaaawning and telling them all that they're soooo boooooring and to stop posting about things I don't want to talk about.

Petyr Baelish

Without reading the article I am sure that this is a result of the bureaucrats in Brussels foisting the GDPR on us. I suppose they'll want an opt-out policy too in the event that the baby changes its mind during the cleanup?

I can see why the Brits want out.

#Irexit

donegal.

circadian wrote: »

Currently dealing with the "terrible two's" and .................................................

some people think its called the terrible twos because of the age of the child but unfortunately this in not the case. Its how many years it lasts.

mloc123

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Well, I have a newborn and a 2 year old in nappies at the moment, and you better believe consent needs to be obtained from the two year old.
Anyone who thinks otherwise has never tried to clean shít off a 2 year old mid tantrum:D

This... nappy change on a two year old is a negotiation process

major bill

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

Yes, but you don't have to open them. I would say the vast majority of threads on here are about things I'm not interested in. So guess what? I don't bother reading them. But I realise that other people want to discuss those topics, so I wouldn't barge in and start yaaaaawning and telling them all that they're soooo boooooring and to stop posting about things I don't want to talk about.

Il do what I want thank you.

Brian?

Laurie Faithful Matting wrote: »

How do you come to an agreement with a baby? Genuine question, not being sarcastic.

I’ve done it hundreds of times. If not thousands.

A baby will respond to tone of voice and body language. Be demanding and issue orders and then try being positive and cajoling. Tell babies don’t react differently.

sbsquarepants

mloc123 wrote: »

This... nappy change on a two year old is a negotiation process

And a fraught one at that - I approach it much like Samuel L Jackson in that negotiator movie:)

c68zapdsm5i1ru

major bill wrote: »

Il do what I want thank you.

And so will I thanks

Mr.H

Can they withdraw consent half way through?

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Brian? wrote: »

I’ve done it hundreds of times. If not thousands.

A baby will respond to tone of voice and body language. Be demanding and issue orders and then try being positive and cajoling. Tell babies don’t react differently.

That's interesting. I'll try it.

kylith

It’s the illusion of choice, like asking them if they want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt. They’re going to be wearing a shirt, but this way they feel like they’ve been part of the process.

seamus

I hereby propose that we standardise the use of the triple-quote to allow us to display obvious sarcasm and skepticism in a statement.

Such as:

Where did this '"expert"' get her degree in child psychology?

Though to be fair to her, it's a tabloid so it's twisted what she has said to generate some clickbait. Practically all parents will say, "Let's go and change your nappy" or some variant from the time the baby is a couple of hours old.

It would be weirder if a parent never said anything and just started stripping the child down.

Mr.H

circadian wrote:

Obviously, there is no real negotiation. It's going to happen anyway but when the kids agree then it's a lot less stressful.

And what happens when some do goober overhears your child refuse consent and you then do it anyway? Thereby reinforcing this rape culture she bangs on about anyway.

Ridiculous.

Sure talk to your child and tell them your changing them. Be cheery about it and maybe the child will relax also (sometimes). But asking for consent. That woman is a moron and should be nowhere near children.

TheValeyard

Who funds studies into this type of sh*te???

Surely this money could be put into cancer research, a new park bench or something.

donegal.

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Who funds studies into this type of sh*te???

nobody funds it
nobody does studies like this.Newspapers twist **** into clickbait

circadian

circadian wrote: »

Discomfort or pain from a nappy change? Are you holding them upside down by one leg??

Yeah... there's a thing called nappy rash...and teething...