Anxiety due to Referendum

mirrorwall14

Not looking to open a debate into the way people are going to vote but I’m just wondering if anyone else is struggling like I am with the constant reminders that I’m still early on in pregnancy (16 weeks now).

Fatal fetal abnormality was something I successfully shut away in my head on my first but I cannot get away from it now and my anxiety is rising waiting for the anatomy scan in June.

I’m in the Coombe next week and honestly I’m going end up bawling my eyes out if I have to walk past anything like the posters that were up today. The memories of miscarriage in the Coombe are still far too raw.

The next three weeks are going to be long

gctest50

We need buffer zones here, right now round hospitals and medical centres / GPs


Email TDs or anyone useful






mentioned in post below ( from elsewhere here )

The Legend Of Kira wrote: »

.,.....,...

what are people,s thoughts on the issue of buffer zones ? as of recently buffer zones are set to be introduced in Britain.

https://www.economist.com/news/britain/21740441-culture-wars-arrive-london-britains-first-buffer-zone-against-protests-outside-abortion

mirrorwall14

gctest50 wrote: »

We need buffer zones here, right now


Email TDs or anyone useful






mentioned in post below ( from elsewhere here )

That’s actually a brilliant idea. The bloody posters and campaigners are driving me crackers

lazygal

I was signed off work due to pregnancy complications a month ago.
We had possible trisomy abnormality detected at 13 weeks, then a wait for amniocentesis and a wait for results. I've been in and out of Holles St for scans and tests and the posters and horrible "save the eighth" canvassers have only added to the stress. I'll never forgive people who vote no because like it or not they're supporting these people and their attitude.

o1s1n

I walked passed the Rotunda this week and there were Save the 8th canvassers standing outside with massive fetus posters flanking either side of the entrance way to the hospital. Really felt for any pregnant folks having to go passed them, last thing you need at a time like that

December2012

I was just thinking the other day how difficult it would be to be pregnant right now, while the referendum is going on, and while all those vile no posters are pushing their false agendas in and around maternity hospitals.

Ladies you have my sympathies for your additional stress. \being pregnant and trying not to worry is hard enough!

The only thing that will change is a woman will (hopefully) have a right to choose whether to continue with an unviable pregnancy or seek to end the pregnancy SHOULD she so choose. I didn’t have that option 27 years ago.

OP, try and enjoy your pregnancy. Life will never be the same again. I lost my baby naturally and went on to have another. I suffered more during that 9 months! When he was delivered, I couldn’t look at him. Would he be ok? Would I love him? Would I ever get over the one I lost? Yes, yes and yes are the answers.

Those posters are someone else’s opinion. Not yours.

Good Luck.

mirrorwall14

gctest50 wrote: »

We need buffer zones here, right now


Email TDs or anyone useful






mentioned in post below ( from elsewhere here )

That’s actually a brilliant idea. The bloody posters and campaigners are driving me crackers

Beanybabog

Disgraceful carry on at the maternity hospitals. They know full well there are women miscarrying and getting bad test results every day.
Love both my hole- they haven’t even a scrap of respect for these women.

Cash_Q

Mirrorwall14 I'm really struggling with it too. We reach all the little milestones and breath a momentary sigh of relief but hearing stories of people getting devastating news at 20 and 30 weeks is just so hard not to worry about. Of course I fully support and empathise with those couples sharing their heartache but it is grinding on the mental health. I've just had to scroll past stuff on Facebook in the last few days.

I met a friend today who should have been due the day before me but she suffered a miscarriage at 12weeks after ivf so it's given me some perspective to just enjoy and appreciate where I'm at. Worrying won't change anything.

I know you know all that yourself especially after your own experience but they're just my little coping tools right now.

zoe 3619

o1s1n wrote: »

I walked passed the Rotunda this week and there were Save the 8th canvassers standing outside with massive fetus posters flanking either side of the entrance way to the hospital. Really felt for any pregnant folks having to go passed them, last thing you need at a time like that

That's horrible.
I was rushed to a maternity hospital a few years ago due to the late miscarrage of a very much wanted baby.Last thing I'd of wanted to see on my out would have been a fetus poster.

jimmycrackcorm

mirrorwall14 wrote:

That’s actually a brilliant idea. The bloody posters and campaigners are driving me crackers

I think it is simply bizarre that the some No campaigners are putting these posters up outside hospitals. I don't understand the rationale when clearly the target audience is heading for the airport instead.

shesty

I really don't get it either.What do they hope to achieve?The women at maternity hospitals are not exactly the "target audience".They were not at the Rotunda yesterday morning thankfully, i wasn't sure I could be responsible for my actions if they were.And with all due respect to them, while I struggle with so-called abortion "on demand", I have been through the pregnancies, the early scans, the looking for a heartbeat, the meeting of milestone weeks etc, the relief at good news......and my mind is fairly made up on how I will vote, for those people who need the choices that I was lucky enough not to need.No amount of posters are going to stand up against repeated experience.

catrionanic

It’s the FFA stories, usually reported by the Vote Yes campaign, which I’m finding difficult. The posters are nothing I haven’t seen before so they don’t affect me so much. But the stories of women who were just as happy as I am to be pregnant, who thought everything was going fine, and who then got devastating news... it’s making me worry more and more than I’m going to get bad news at some stage to come. On my last pregnancy, I didn’t really worry much about this stuff. But the constant reminders of what can go wrong at any stage of pregnancy are what’s making me stressed.

Have my anatomy scan on the 29th and I will be very glad to have that behind us.

fits

I can only imagine what it’s like for pregnant women. I was so anxious when I was pregnant without this in the mix. I think it was around the time the twins were discovered that I realised worrying won’t change a thing. Whatever’s coming at you will come at you whether you worry about it or not.

Digs

I’m on my third pregnancy. On my first my friend who was pregnant at the same time was diagnosed with a FFA so I’ve never been oblivious to the possibilities and have worried a lot with my first two. Strangely this time I’m more relaxed but I think that comes with the experience of worrying getting me nowhere, like Fits has said.

While these stories are uncomfortable to hear they have got to be heard. However hard it is for us to listen it’s infinitely harder for the couples experiencing them. I’m not necessarily anymore worried about an FFA than I would be were the referendum not happening but I have way more knowledge about the lack of support and lack of choice women in this country are faced with if the worst is realised for them in pregnancy so yes that part is playing on my mind a lot more.

Parkviewbaby

I'm currently 6 month pregnant,I feel so lucky but have anxiety everyday. I wont be able to relax until I hold my baby. I find those posters so upsetting. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks last year and spent some very dark times in the Rotunda. I thought I would never be able to get over it. If them posters had been outside the hospital as that time I think they would have pushed me over the edge.

No side should be ashamed of these tactics.

aidom

I'm finding it really tough hearing all the worse case scenarios so often. I wasn't too worried about the anomaly scan and now I feel like I'm counting down the days. Those posters outside the hospitals were horrible. I can only imagine how cruel it would be to anyone getting bad news that day.

The referendum feels so close to home now that I'm pregnant myself. I feel like I'm going to take it very personally if it's a no vote.

firebird84

I told my mother the other day that if I go into the Rotunda for my next appt and those posters are there, I'd find it very difficult not to turn around, go to the nearest hardware shop, buy a blade and put a big tear down the middle of them.

Hector Savage

o1s1n wrote: »

I walked passed the Rotunda this week and there were Save the 8th canvassers standing outside with massive fetus posters flanking either side of the entrance way to the hospital. Really felt for any pregnant folks having to go passed them, last thing you need at a time like that

Disgusting carry on, really are low low people ... anyway sorry not the place.

OP just look after yourself and stay away from anything that might upset you.

It's very likely the baby is fine, so don't worry ! stay healthy so baby stays healthy.

LegacyUser

OP I feel the same. You are not alone in your thoughts. I am 23 weeks pregnant and I have had a lot of anxiety and tears over it. It is not the nicest time to be pregnant.

The buffer idea is great, I'll email my TDs now about it as I have an apt in CUMH next week and will freak if those posters are there.

It is highly insensitive to pregnant people, not everyone goes in for a happy birth or scan.

I feel this needs to be highlighted by the media a bit more.

mirrorwall14

Thanks everyone. It helps to at least know others are feeling a bit like me. I guess I’m frustrated that I’m wishing this month away and it’s the first time I’ve started to feel a little human this pregnancy. And I had relaxed after the 12 weeks scan until the airwaves got flooded with the referendum. I tell myself there’s nothing I can do but it doesn’t stop the thinking unfortunately!

pengaffe

I felt the exact same way! the whole referendum has me panicking the whole time! Not just the no campaign but reading other people's stories about having to end their pregnancies fro various reasons. It's a tough time to be pregnant but try to block it all out!!

Reati

The goal of standing outside a maternity hospital is to evoke emotional responses from pregnant women and get them to convince family / friends to vote no. Who better to target than women who are having much wanted babies to do thier dirty work. As a side effect they also get lots of attention in the media and online for acts like this.

It's yet another low moment from a side determined to force people to give birth no matter the situation.

shesty

But it's a really stupid thought process in it's own way, because you would think they would realise that the very people who are the MOST aware of the need for choice are those currently going in and out of maternity hospitals.Obviously not all of them, but I would imagine quite a few of them.So really, it achieves nothing.
I know it's basically a sensationalist stunt at the end of the day but it strikes me as being kind of.....stupid.(obviously alongside the other stuff such as insensitive etc, but they don't care about that).

kylith

My worry about FFA is that if the referendum doesn't pass and something is wrong then I'll have to find the means to go to the UK.

I'll be very glad after my scan in a month.

clacla82

I am absolutely disgusted by what some on the No side are doing, from handing out inaccurate and outrageously inapprpriate foetus dolls to small children in town, to those disgusting and inaccurate posters. I respect their opinion but not their tactics, and I hope it has pushed more people to the Yes side.

I have said this on the October forum but the Panorama/Harmony NIPT test was the best peace of mind I could have gotten at that early terrified stage. I am still worried as the anatomy scan approaches but we have ruled out genetic FFA and that is one less thing to worry about.

Everyone please remember that the odds are very much with you to have a healthy baby.

kastasia

Ugh, getting ready to leave holles St, my husband dropping bags to car and apparently those no posters are outside again.

firebird84

I swear this was not me, but kudos to her. If there's a go fund me for her legal fees I'll contribute https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/news/woman-arrested-after-allegedly-damaging-abortion-posters-in-dublin-36897141.html

kylith

firebird84 wrote: »

I swear this was not me, but kudos to her. If there's a go fund me for her legal fees I'll contribute https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/news/woman-arrested-after-allegedly-damaging-abortion-posters-in-dublin-36897141.html

I don't condone damaging any posters, but I can totally understand why someone would slash one of the ones by ICBR, they are an awful bunch.

kylith

kylith wrote: »

I don't condone damaging any posters, but I can totally understand why someone would slash one of the ones by ICBR, they are an awful bunch.

The best way to deal with them is to ignore them and their sad ideals. Their actions are beneath contempt and are causing their cause more harm than good. Leave them wallow in their own sanctimonious hatred.

firebird84

kylith wrote: »

I don't condone damaging any posters, but I can totally understand why someone would slash one of the ones by ICBR, they are an awful bunch.

Usually I wouldn't either but this lot aren't Irish, they are only here to cause trouble and they've upset a lot of pregnant women with their carry on outside maternity hospitals. They say in the article they wear bodycams for their personal safety (which is besides the point as she attacked the poster and not an individual) so they clearly know what they are doing is disgusting and upsetting. You know you're on to a loser when John McGuirk disavows you :rolleyes:

Beanybabog

I saw a protestor in holles street wandering around with badges and stickers on her. IN the actual hospital and I don’t believe she was visiting anyone, she was loitering at the stairs.

Today the No camp called to my house as I’m packing my hospital bag funnily enough. Said they had leaflets and I said no thanks I’m voting yes. She points at my stomach and said well I hope that baby is safe. Shouted about abortion killing babies as I shut the door. I am appalled.

Again, love both?!? Bull

Ally Dick

lazygal wrote: »

I was signed off work due to pregnancy complications a month ago.
We had possible trisomy abnormality detected at 13 weeks, then a wait for amniocentesis and a wait for results. I've been in and out of Holles St for scans and tests and the posters and horrible "save the eighth" canvassers have only added to the stress. I'll never forgive people who vote no because like it or not they're supporting these people and their attitude.

They're attempting to save lives.

fits

Beanybabog wrote: »

. She points at my stomach and said well I hope that baby is safe. Shouted about abortion killing babies as I shut the door. I am appalled.

Again, love both?!? Bull

Wow. I’m horrified.

volchitsa

Ally Dick wrote: »

They're attempting to save lives.

No they aren't, or they'd have spent the last quarter century trying to get the 13th removed. Oddly enough once it passed, they didn't care any more.

Could this thread please be closed?

As usual only one opinion is tolerated and for those of us who are pregnant and distressed by abortion even having this conversation in the pregnancy forum is upsetting.

I know it was not the OP's intention to start a debate but the usual suspects can't seem to help themselves.

firebird84

Beanybabog wrote: »

I saw a protestor in holles street wandering around with badges and stickers on her. IN the actual hospital and I don’t believe she was visiting anyone, she was loitering at the stairs.

Today the No camp called to my house as I’m packing my hospital bag funnily enough. Said they had leaflets and I said no thanks I’m voting yes. She points at my stomach and said well I hope that baby is safe. Shouted about abortion killing babies as I shut the door. I am appalled.

Again, love both?!? Bull

That's horrific, I'm so sorry you had to endure that treatment.

catrionanic

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Could this thread please be closed?

As usual only one opinion is tolerated and for those of us who are pregnant and distressed by abortion even having this conversation in the pregnancy forum is upsetting.

I know it was not the OP's intention to start a debate but the usual suspects can't seem to help themselves.

I agree. Every time I see this thread in the forum, my stomach flips.

rainbow kirby

You do know the 8th has ramifications in continued pregnancy and is more than just abortion, right? It's very relevant here.

Anne1982h

I am so glad to read this post and know I am not alone. I am not pregnant but trying and have been told that I may have a complicated pregnancy due to existing issues. I feel like I am going crazy over this referendum. Crying reading all the awful stories, having screaming matches with family members who are voting no and being completely irrational. Worried and confused about what might happen if i do get pregnant. I just feel there is no compassion for real living breathing women and it scares me. I am so stressed over this that I feel I have no chance of conceiving at the minute. Cannot wait for it all to be over. Also had aggressive no campaigners to the house and feel like they shouldn’t be allowed invade your personal home space when i cant get away from it outside the home. I have put The leaflet the yes side gave me in the window in the hopes others will just go away. Stopped going on Facebook and stopped watching the news.

mirrorwall14

I’m super frustrated about it all. I have zero issue with no voters wanting to keep abortion restricted. However that is a legislation issue.

In order for us to have proper medical care, for FFA to be appropriately and compassionately dealt with the 8th amendment has to be removed first

A no vote means no change at all, even though lots seem to be happy for change in some circumstances.

The posters, the lies, the statistics, the stories, the endless articles have my anxiety so high waiting for my anatomy scan. Two families a week getting bad news is just awful. I just can’t even imagine being told I have to go to england if god forbid something is wrong

As a distraction I’ve found a great series of books and I’m engrossing myself in them and trying to steer clear of the news and the abortion threads here (not always successfully). Roll on next week

firebird84

Personally this thread has given me a lot of comfort to know I'm not alone in how I feel at the moment. I have no other pregnant friends in my circle that I can talk to about what it's like to be the target of so much of this, to know on some level I'm essentially a hostage in my own body is bad enough but to be constantly reminded of it. I almost cried talking to someone I barely know in work about how upsetting it all has been (so embarrassing.. I blamed it on hormones). So thanks ladies, at least I feel like I'm not insane.

rainbow kirby

rainbow kirby wrote: »

You do know the 8th has ramifications in continued pregnancy and is more than just abortion, right? It's very relevant here.

If that's directed at me, then yes, I know exactly what this is about, but thanks for being unbelievably patronising.

This topic could be discussed anywhere - and in fact is being discussed all over this site - and it would be great to have literally ONE place where the contentious nature of the subject could be avoided when we are being bombarded night and day with this topic.

Just to add, there are thankfully ways to ignore posters but it is not possible afaik to ignore threads.

If anyone knows how to block a thread from view I'd appreciate learning how.

Anne1982h

Mystery Egg wrote: »

If that's directed at me, then yes, I know exactly what this is about, but thanks for being unbelievably patronising.

This topic could be discussed anywhere - and in fact is being discussed all over this site - and it would be great to have literally ONE place where the contentious nature of the subject could be avoided when we are being bombarded night and day with this topic.

I find it odd that you think the one place it shouldn’t be discussed is on the forum where it affects the most people... after spending a lot of my day in work yesterday crying in the toilets over my own upset to do with pregnancy and the referendum I have found it so reassuring to know others feel the same (rather than it just being me going insane)

Anne1982h

Anne1982h wrote: »

I find it odd that you think the one place it shouldn’t be discussed is on the forum where it affects the most people... after spending a lot of my day in work yesterday crying in the toilets over my own upset to do with pregnancy and the referendum I have found it so reassuring to know others feel the same (rather than it just being me going insane)

Do you find it odd? Really? Because the title of the thread is about anxiety surrounding the referendum. The OP didn't want to start an abortion debate. And yet it has started. I relate to the anxiety, very strongly.

This thread is every bit as anxiety-inducing for some of us (who mostly remain silent if we're not part of the current dogmatic hegemony on the subject because of the inevitable lynching and unrelenting questioning that follows) who would really rather have one space where it's just not discussed.

firebird84

Anne1982h wrote: »

I find it odd that you think the one place it shouldn’t be discussed is on the forum where it affects the most people... after spending a lot of my day in work yesterday crying in the toilets over my own upset to do with pregnancy and the referendum I have found it so reassuring to know others feel the same (rather than it just being me going insane)

I'm not sure what hospital you are with but because I have a history of depression and was on the cusp of PND last time round, the Rotunda told me they have midwives that deal specifically with anxiety/depression in pregnancy but I'm sure all hospitals do. If it's getting to be too much make sure you talk to your doctor about it to see what supports they can give you, I've certainly considered reaching out to them in the last few weeks.

Edit: sorry I just saw you said you aren't pregnant in your other post but still talk to your doctor if it's too much!

Anne1982h

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Do you find it odd? Really? Because the title of the thread is about anxiety surrounding the referendum. The OP didn't want to start an abortion debate. And yet it has started. I relate to the anxiety, very strongly.

This thread is every bit as anxiety-inducing for some of us (who mostly remain silent if we're not part of the current dogmatic hegemony on the subject because of the inevitable lynching and unrelenting questioning that follows) who would really rather have one space where it's just not discussed.

Where has an abortion debate started in this thread? Most people have said they share the anxiety and given how they are trying to stay away from it - myself by stopping watching news and news related shows and staying off Facebook. Someone else by reading books. It is inevitable the no side will be mentioned as they are the ones putting up the graphic posters that are contributing to anxiety... saying you’re upset by posters and imagery is not starting a debate.

firebird84

[snipped]

I'm away for most of next week at a conference and I'm very much looking forward to being in another country for what will probably be the most intense part. Bring on the dull seminars!