Weapon for protection?

Doodoo

Alarm went off in the middle of the night. Investigated but was a false alarm.
Thinking I should really have something to protect myself in case the next one isn't.
Have many people some sort of a weapon under the bed for just this scenario? What's your choice?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

A good dog and a pair of running shoes depending on how big the intruders are.

Conall Cernach

Claw hammer under the locker and a choice of 3 swords on various walls.

gifted

Set herself and the kids on any intruder.....I know, a bit extreme but ......

blindside88

I have an extendable asp (baton) and my hunting knife on the bedside locker. Theyre more there out of laziness from not moving them than for protection.

nullzero

Get your alarm serviced and leave your Rambo fantasies alone.

sheesh

on't put what you have in the thread!!!

you are not allowed have offensive weapons in Ireland.

John_Rambo

Conall Cernach wrote: »

Claw hammer under the locker and a choice of 3 swords on various walls.

Aside from interior design criminality there's three handy gifts for would be intruders. They can roam empty handed without incriminating evidence and literally take their pick from dodgy wall art weaponry.

Duff

A belt of a big feckin stick and any potential intruder wouldn't be long leaving.

John_Rambo

nullzero wrote: »

Get your alarm serviced and leave your Rambo fantasies alone.

100% agreed.

andmynameisrambo

antodeco

My farts. Walk into the bedroom. Boom. Smell based forcefield

Sky King

Knacker whacker on top of the wardrobe

buried

WhiteHouse's 'Wriggle Like a f**king Eel' turned up to 11 on a hi power Marshall Amplifier.
This will also make your in laws/relations get the f**k out the gaff too, they more likely to rob you than anyone

nullzero

John_Rambo wrote: »

100% agreed.

andmynameisrambo

I thought it was just rhyming slang for a sandwich.

Beanntraigheach

A short Japanese sword.
It's the first thing I'd go for if I ever felt under threat.

John_Rambo

This is hilarious.

peasant

There are a few handy sticks (from recent garden clearances) left in strategic positions in and around the house. Nothing too long or heavy...just the right size so that you can swing it quick and hard even when cornered.

(a baseball bat or similar is an outdoors tool only and a hammer or knife is way too dangerous in case it gets turned against you...as would be the baseball bat)

Cantona's Collars

Run towards them naked waving your erection at them.

corner of hells

I tie the JRT to a brush handle at night , it's a sorta javelin with teeth.

The kids also liberally sprinkle Lego everywhere in the off chance the burglar has no shoes on.

Capt'n Midnight

I call mine Ol' Painless because what else do you call an M134 Minigun ?

"just had to grit your teeth and hold on"
"like firing a chainsaw."

scudzilla

Have 2 dogs and some strategically placed weapons dotted around, a flick stick and 2 small (foot/foot and a half) bats near doors.

You'll see people say ah, i have baseball bats, no use whatsoever as in a typical hall you wouldn't be able to get any swing on it

buried

Make sure they can't get in the first place by following the Dude's logic

4ensic15

A guard interviewed on radio years ago said there are 2 things burglars don't like, noise and light. The way to deal with intruders is to have switches that can turn on light everywhere and start radios etc playing. The burglars won't hang around.

PandaPoo

We took an exercise machine apart a few years ago and kept a really heavy metal part from the base. We keep it under the bed, it's called the skull crusher!

Noveight

As of right now the best I could do is a hefty Harp pint glass. That'll do nicely.

az2wp0sye65487

If I was woken in the middle of the night by a burglar I'd like to think i'd get the kids & wife into one room and lock the door. Shout at the intruders to tell them where the car keys / wallet / purse etc. are (all drownstairs) and ask them not to come upstairs. Oh yeah - then ring 999 and stay locked in til the gardai arrive 6-8 hours later.

In reality, the last time we were woken by a noise during the night I hopped out of bed bollock naked and headed for the door. The wife said "you've no clothes on!" To which I replied "i'm more intimidating that way"
Still obviously half asleep & talking bullsh1t! Luckily there was nobody there.

Tigger

When people don’t train their big smelly dogs they give them to the pound cos they are badly behaved
So I take them cos nobody else wants them
I train them and stuff but thy are still big smelly dogs so they

1 make other houses look like a much easier target
2 destroy everything I own so there’s nothing worth taking

Job oxo

dsaint1

nullzero wrote: »

Get your alarm serviced and leave your Rambo fantasies alone.

So you assume an alarm going off will 100% protect your family from an intruder?

EndaHonesty

Doodoo wrote: »

Alarm went off in the middle of the night. Investigated but was a false alarm.
Thinking I should really have something to protect myself in case the next one isn't.
Have many people some sort of a weapon under the bed for just this scenario? What's your choice?

It might not have been a false alarm.

The alarm might have done it's job and scared off the burgular.

The truth is a noisy, sensitive alarm is the best protection against house burglaries.

The criminals will look for an easier target and leave you alone...

dsaint1 wrote: »

So you assume an alarm going off will 100% protect your family from an intruder?

Nothing is 100% but a working alarm will reduce he chances of a home intrusion by a very significant margin.

Grayson

contents insurance and running shoes.

I had a friend who was a martial arts trainer. He used to say it doesn't matter how much martial arts you know, if you fight a guy with a knife you'll get cut.

All the people saying they'd use weapons, well they would have to be lucky enough to get the first hit in and hope it would be enough.

Get contents insurance and let them have everything and get out of there.

At a push get a dog (as someone mentioned already) but don't think you could take a burglar.

Canis Lupus

Demi Witty Lubricant wrote: »

A good dog and a pair of running shoes depending on how big the intruders are.

The dog will need two pairs and they don't like wearing runners so I'm not sure how good that plan is.

Noveight

Surprised at the amount of people who'd leg it tbh. Rightly or wrongly, my gut instinct would be fight over flight.

dsaint1

Noveight wrote: »

Surprised at the amount of people who'd leg it tbh. Rightly or wrongly, my gut instinct would be fight over flight.

I'm guessing Nullzero would be running.....I pity his family tbh

Yester

I would shout out that I had nothing worth taking and then if they were agreeable I would offer to take a lie detector test. Then we would sit down and I would be hooked up to the machine and they could ask about the whereabouts of the valuables and all that, to which I would answer truthfully. Then they would apologise for wasting everyones time and leave. Then I would probably call the guards.

Larbre34

Back in my house sharing days I lived in Naas with two good pals. Great times. Anyway, one Sunday night 3 lads from near Tallaght, out of their mind on something, took a spin down in a stolen motor as far as the first house on our cul-de-sac and ram raided the muthafooka.

Unsubtle of course as it woke the whole neighbourhood who came out in numbers and tackled the lads and tied them down until the fuzz arrived. But the damage was done, the poor family were traumatised, including a granny sleeping downstairs after one of the kids communions. Great memories eh?

So, one of my lads was an industrial plumber and within a couple of days arrived home with a length of thick steel boiler pipe, cut into 3 baton lengths, perfectly balanced for handling and impact. He also etched Tom, Dick and Harry onto the 3, in honour of the Great Escape! They promptly found homes in each of our bedrooms. To this day with have them in our own homes for the same purpose and they remind us of those good times, strangely.

I guess my point is, i wouldnt go in for huge swords or diving knives, but i dont care about offensive weapons, if you cross my threshold uninvited, youre gonna get a headache.

Noveight

Noveight wrote: »

Surprised at the amount of people who'd leg it tbh. Rightly or wrongly, my gut instinct would be fight over flight.

I would be the opposite. Fear would have me running. I'd let them have what they want and leg it.

s7ryf3925pivug

I escorted an intruder out of my room and made a couple of others run off before actually seeing them by making lots of noise. Two of the above were in the same apartment with the same dumbass flat mate who wouldn’t lock the door. Another time I shouted at someone in my garden who turned out to be a guard. He was trying to catch what he thought was a burglar next door, but the report had actually been about me climbing through my own window when I had no key.

Not fight or flight, just “Get away from my house”. Never had enough there to attract the sort of burglar that would actually fight you rather than just run off if faced with an aggressive man.

No weapons. Pointless for the reason I just mentioned. Do now have a dog that would bite an intruder/attacker, which definitely is a good deterrent. She ran at an ESB man who read our meter the other day, when I opened the door to confront the unidentified guy moving my bins. Came back when I called her.

Think I’d want to kill an intruder nowadays, as I have a baby. All the more reason not to keep a weapon.

Dogs, lights, cameras, alarms, phones - all more practical home security than weapons in most cases.

Irish Guitarist

I leave a pile of dirty clothes on the floor at all times so any potential burglar will trip over them.

Mongfinder General

I’d love to own a gun so that I could pistol whip any fcuk who broke into my house.

suicide_circus

We're in a 3rd floor flat with one exit so no where to run to. I've got part of a table leg which is basically a short baseball bat size and shape.

Auguste Comte

I hear half a garden shears is the go to implement for home defense these days.

Tom Mann Centuria

I have a tin of pepper spray, and a balsamic vinegar spray.

In case the intruder has a bag of mixed leaves.

hairyslug

I feel left out, the worst I would have would be 3 ejjits of dogs and a cat hepped up on catnip

The Bishop Basher

Grayson wrote: »

At a push get a dog (as someone mentioned already) but don't think you could take a burglar.

A burglar is just a person. Why couldn’t you take them ?

I own licensed firearms but they stay locked well away from both myself and any would be intruder for obvious reasons.

I do keep a short bar near the bed and wouldn’t hesitate to use it.

I caught 2 travellers about to break in one day and my response surprised me to be honest. As a result, I now know how I’d react and it wouldn’t be flight. I also have a family and 2 useless guard dogs to protect.

You can never be too safe in your own home. Mel Bernstein over in America has the balance just about right in his, God bless him:

Auguste Comte

I keep a tennis ball beside the bed. It's not really for protection more to distract the dogs when the Guards or the coroner turn up to reassemble the ex burglar.

OldMrBrennan83

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Avatar MIA

Larbre34 wrote: »

I dont care about offensive weapons, if you cross my threshold uninvited, youre gonna meet Dick.

FYP

That'll scare 'em!

Graces7

If anyone broke in here I would be astonished ... must have swum? Mind you after one referendum the Garda who came over to take in the ballot box got fed
after being weather-stranded for three days here and waded across at low tide..

everyone here knows ( a ) I have nothing worth stealing and (b ) a ferocious and loud dog.
Who obeys only me..