Should I be paying bills in home house at age 20!?

Flock Of Birds

So, I’m a 20 year old lad living at home. Tried college this year but it wasn’t for me. So I’ve taken a leave of absence until this September as it was my only option other than dropping out. (To be honest, it was to keep the aul pair happy for the mean time because they didn’t want me dropping out of college).

I’m a full time gigging musician and gig the weekends. I also teach Bodhran and Fiddle at the weekends also. It brings in about €360 a week which isn’t bad pay. I’ve no job but I do consider this to be a job in itself and I’ve made plans to expand onto primary school teaching music after school once my Garda vetting is renewed and have public liability insurance etc.

So recently, my dad had to move to London in search of work because as we all know, the building trade went bust. Work dried up and well, he had no other form of income other than the cattle on the farm. When times were good, he bought property abroad and took out a mortgage on a house he built back in 2006. He’s gotten himself neck high in debt and this also contributed to him leaving for London. (he’s been living with my brother who already lives in London, and not paying any bills)

Meanwhile at home, Mum works a 9-5 weekdays and sister has a full time job which she got her degree in. So it arose recently that since I’m home all the time now that I should be paying bills and buying my own food. Same goes for my sister. But she’s earning a lot, lot more a week than I am. Should I be paying bills? I’m also looking into buying my first car and getting insurance along with it and I’ve been saving up for ages. Will have to save quite a lot more though as I’ve tried getting a loan from bank but given my fathers past with the banks and his debt, they turned me down.

Should I be paying for my parents mistakes? While I’m trying to get my own life on track with my music career, why should I be footed with the house bills every month while I try to get my car and insurance? By the way, they’re not helping me with buying the car or contributing to paying insurance. In my sisters case, they bought her car.

I don’t know, I hope I’m not sounding childish in my expectations but when I see other people my age they don’t appear to be paying household bills. Any help and replies are really appreciated, I just need an outside opinion because my head can get really clouded at times.

Side note - If you give any abuse at all I’ll be reporting/deleting comments. I’m looking for advice, not reality checks. I know what the real world is like!!
Cheers!

** EDIT **
- I’ve been buying my own groceries for a while now before ye jump on the band wagon and agreed to pay 1/4 of esb bill.

njs030

Yes you should be paying your way with an income of €360 a week.
Your sister is earning and contributing, so should you.

If you don't want to be paying for your "parents mistakes" move out and support yourself.

Heres Johnny

360 a Week?
Absolutely you should be paying rent bills and groceries for yourself. Maybe an all in price of 100 a week would be suitable.
You've a bit of learning to do.
260 a week then for yourself. It's loads.

LegacyUser

You are correct, your head is clouded. If you've been asked to contribute to household bills you should.
Your not paying for anyone's mistakes by doing so.

TPD

Yup, you should be paying. You're an adult and earning money, you aren't entitled to have another adult spending money they've earned on you. Your friends are lucky to be getting a free ride, but you're not being hard done by being asked to pay your way.

elfy4eva

I wont lambaste you as some here will but yea at your age you certainly should be contributing. Bills and some rent. What you earn doesn't really matter. Consider it motivation to get the finances in order.

Good Luck!

Mooooo

In short yes you should contribute, agree a weekly or monthly figure.

SusieBlue

I'm degree educated and work full time and don't earn a whole lot more than that. I don't live with my parents, though. But just putting it into perspective that you aren't earning a meagre amount by any means. You are certainly earning enough to hand a portion up.

You absolutely should be contributing financially, its particularly selfish considering you are fully aware of your parents difficulties and are still reluctant to give anything.

When I lived at home and was in college working part time I never handed up much, my parents didn't expect me to but I still gave €50 a couple of times a month, whenever I could. As soon as I started working full time I gave consistent amounts each week for my keep.

You are earning the equivalent of a full time wage, yet you are the one using up most of the resources by being at home the most. Time to start paying your way and grow up, you are getting away with murder as it is.

.......

This post has been deleted.

OP it ain't what you ask it's the way that you ask it


You should be paying 120 quid a week imo and you shouldn't need to be asked let alone giving the attitude you do in your post

Tenigate

It sounds like you're expecting a bit of breathing room from your parents while you start out and hopefully save, and they've decided not to give you it. I can see why you're annoyed.

On the other hand, your parents seem to struggle for cash to pay for food and bills, without having to pay your food and bills too.

Take the emotion out of the situation and then make your decision. How much are your parents asking, vs how much you would pay if you weren't living at home.

You might find that, despite being financially better off at home, your parents are taking enough money that there is little reason to stay put while you save (as saving is impossible), therefore there's still no reason to live at home. In which case, you're 20. Move out. Work extra hours if you need more money.

One small point about you not being able to get a loan because of your dad.. Pull the other one. Your reason for not getting a loan is likely because you have not been saving, therefore have no evidence of your ability to repay a loan; or maybe because you're not in permanent employment. you can't blame your dad for that.

Ninjini

The stance I will be taking with my children is that while they are in full time education, any money they make is their own. If they choose not to go to college, or once they finish college and start working, they pay at least a token amount.
Once you have a job/ are no longer a student, it’s time to join the real world and that means paying your way.

kylith

Yes, you should.

You will be paying rent/mortgage and bills at a much higher rate than your parents are looking for for the rest of your life, better get used to it.

eurokev

Is this a p*ss take.
Of course you should be paying and you should actually be over the moon to be in a position to help your folks.
Go out and get a weekday job in a shop or something too.
Not saying that you won't make a living out of music, but it is definitely a very very difficult industry to make money in.
You are in some savage need of a reality check.
The bank won't give you a loan because you probably have no regular income or savings, not because of your dad, I don't know where you plucked that nugget from

Flock Of Birds

[Deleted User] wrote: »

OP it ain't what you ask it's the way that you ask it


You should be paying 120 quid a week imo and you shouldn't need to be asked let alone giving the attitude you do in your post

No attitude here dude just sick of the way things are.

Flock Of Birds

eurokev wrote: »

Is this a p*ss take.
Of course you should be paying and you should actually be over the moon to be in a position to help your folks.
Go out and get a weekday job in a shop or something too.
Not saying that you won't make a living out of music, but it is definitely a very very difficult industry to make money in.
You are in some savage need of a reality check.
The bank won't give you a loan because you probably have no regular income or savings, not because of your dad, I don't know where you plucked that nugget from

Good point. But I didn’t ‘pluck’ any nuggets here. It’s facts, and maybe you’re the one who needs the reality check. I’ve been to the bank and credit union. They look for parents pay slips and statements of the last 6 months. Couldn’t provide one for dad and mums didn’t meet requirements.

I shouldn’t have to pay for others mistakes full stop.

Gatling

Absolutely you should be paying your way living in Your Parents Home ,
Keyword their home ,
Can't see why wouldn't considering how much your getting from gigs,

eviltwin

How is contributing to the household paying for your parents mistakes? It's the decent thing to do and I'm surprised you even have to ask. Grow up and start paying your way, you are 20 ffs

MouseTail

Are you expecting your parents to go guarantor on your loan, that is the only reason they would look for parental income from another adult? Apply in your own name without a guarantor.

And of course you should be paying a share of bills.

Mooooo

Flock Of Birds wrote: »

Good point. But I didn’t ‘pluck’ any nuggets here. It’s facts, and maybe you’re the one who needs the reality check. I’ve been to the bank and credit union. They look for parents pay slips and statements of the last 6 months. Couldn’t provide one for dad and mums didn’t meet requirements.

I shouldn’t have to pay for others mistakes full stop.

I'm gonna call bull****, gotten loans at that age all that was asked was my own info

amcalester

Mooooo wrote: »

I'm gonna call bull****, gotten loans at that age all that was asked was my own info

Credit Union asked me for a guarantor for my first loan at 24.

I was in full time employment, had payslips and bank statements etc.

This was in boomtimes too.

To the OP - Paying for rent and bills isn’t paying for your parents mistakes. Those are living expenses.

henryporter

Is that 360 a week after tax?

Conor Bourke

Paying for the mistakes of your father has nothing to do with anything. Even if he’d never put a foot wrong and your parents were comfortable financially you should absolutely still be contributing.

ETA I have no idea why the bank is looking for your parents payslip, it sounds absurd since you’re an adult in your own right but they’re the only ones punishing you, your parents are not.

TitianGerm

Flock Of Birds wrote: »

Good point. But I didn’t ‘pluck’ any nuggets here. It’s facts, and maybe you’re the one who needs the reality check. I’ve been to the bank and credit union. They look for parents pay slips and statements of the last 6 months. Couldn’t provide one for dad and mums didn’t meet requirements.

I shouldn’t have to pay for others mistakes full stop.

How old are you? I'd suggest you offer your mam €50 a week for rent. If you moved out you'd be paying a lot more.

The only way a bank would require your parents salary details is if you have applied to have them go guarantor, if you applied for a loan in your own right they wouldn't ask for parents payslips.

Another point that I haven't seen mentioned is in relation to income tax. You are technically self employed and will be required to disclose your earnings and file a return

eurokev

Flock Of Birds wrote:

Good point. But I didn’t ‘pluck’ any nuggets here. It’s facts, and maybe you’re the one who needs the reality check. I’ve been to the bank and credit union. They look for parents pay slips and statements of the last 6 months. Couldn’t provide one for dad and mums didn’t meet requirements.

Flock Of Birds wrote:

I shouldn’t have to pay for others mistakes full stop.

The problem there must be that you have no history with any institution that give loans I'd imagine??.
Is your gigging cash in hand?? As in you don't have a bank account with any wage going in, or any history of savings anywhere.
Can you go and work a regular wage paying job at the mo??
When I was your age I had a job in a shop and bar part time, went to college full time, and was able to take out a loan to buy a car and go traveling, no problem. I know countless other people who've done this in the intervening years too.

In short, go and get a regular wage paying job in a bar/shop/factory/ warehouse etc. Keep doing your gigs and teaching music. You'll be clearing 700-800 a week. You'll have a car bought in no time.

Airyfairy12

I lived with my parents for 2 and a half years after college (which my parents didn't pay for), I couldnt find work so signed on the dole - it was 188 a week then, I payed 50 euro a week to my mother from my social welfare towards bills and bought my own groceries while I tried to save up to move out - I was left with about 80 a week which went straight into my credit union account, both my parents work full time btw and at 30 I still cant drive and cant afford lessons never mind insurance, a car at age 20 was a pipe dream for me as it was for my siblings. As someone who has never been given a hand out from my parents but has had to hand up any bit of extra money I had your post comes across quite entitled from where im standing.

Youre on a full time wage, if you dont want to contribute then move out.

As for the loan if youre over 18 you can take out a loan without any information from your parents, what have they got to do with it? unless youre taking a loan through their bank account or guarantor??

You may have no history with saving in a bank or credit union, if thats the case then thats your own fault not your parents.

Needs Must

You should contribute to the household, or move out and get your own place. It's not called paying for other people's mistakes, it's called not being a free loader.

Stroke Politics

€360pw is about €500 after tax and deductions. €26k pa is a decent income, if my son got that for his first job I’d expect a contribution towards running the house....

pjohnson

I hope/doubt the OP is serious.

badboyblast

Of course you should , its not about the money, it's about respect, I would give every penny to pay for my family to eat, pay their mortgage etc. If I had the opportunity.

I will teach my kids from a young age how to treat money and manage it .

No disrespect to you but the so called millennials have a sense of entitlement I have never seen before , I experienced it recently in the work place and you gotta learn to walk before you run

jon1981

The sense of entitlement! Holy f**k OP. I'm sure your parents "mistakes" were only good intentions to ensure a better life for you and sadly it didnt work out that way. Have you ever thought about that?

You believe you are entitled to live there for free , why?!?

You have a job, pay your way and stop whining.

Also good luck with making no "mistakes" in life.