Housemate and bills

SureYWouldntYa

Have a little issue with one of my housemates and her not paying bills

We're in the house since September, student house, and she hasn't contributed her share of the bills at all yet. Every time a bill came around she was short for one reason or another usually a basic sob story nothing wild. Atm between 2 esb bills and an oil delivery it's ~€150 I'm owed, and another housemate is owed 5 months of broadband too but he isn't fussed at all. I haven't mentioned any of the bills to her since December before we all went home for christmas, until I did yesterday and her story now is she has the money all along but put it in her credit union account at home for safekeeping...............which she'll get when she's home in 2 weeks..........

I genuinely wasn't too fussed at all with the situation til I saw her come in the door earlier with 2 full Pennys bags, she's out 2+ nights a week too so it's not a real money issue. I'm not sure how else to approach getting her to pay up, next week will be another esb bill so that'll be another bit on the tab.

I was thinking of maybe getting onto the landlord to see if she doesn't pay up at all before the end of the year and leaves us short completely that maybe we could both get our money back via her deposit if she doesn't pay up at all which is what I'm fearing at this stage. That probably won't work anyway because I'd be thinking she'll be getting a few euro off her deposit since she's full time smoking in her room. Just not sure how else to deal with it and running out of ideas, there's no point in doing something like turning off the radiator in her room since she's just be able to turn it back on anyway

Not sure how else I can approach this in a fair manner

Foweva Awone

I would go back to her and say, "Look about that €150 you owe me that I mentioned the other day - I can't actually wait two weeks, I need it by this weekend." (Make up some reason if you want to; personally I wouldn't bother, she's not entitled to an explanation of what you might need money for.)

Leave it up to her if she wants to go home to the credit union before then to go it, or whether she wants to source the money elsewhere, but make it clear that waiting any longer isn't an option.

Be firm about it - it's your money; why would you provide her an interest-free loan with no agreement?!

And leave the money owed to your housemate out of it; it's up to them if they want to pursue it.

I wouldn't bring it to the landlord just yet - give her a chance to come up with the money herself first. And don't let the situation arise again!

SureYWouldntYa

I tried to be as forceful as I could but I probably could have insisted more, she has her own sob story so coming up with one of my own is no use even though I think her story is bs

I'm not good with confrontation and even though she's already said she won't be in the house next year I don't know if I could deal with falling out with her because I do feel if I push it anymore she'd bite back

Ghekko

Sod that's, she owes you €150 and obviously sees you as a soft touch. You don't need to explain why you want the money now, you just need to tell her that you want it now. Unless you can afford to pay her share of the bills until she leaves then you need to stand up to her.

vectorvictor

Take out the fuses for her room , cash should arrive shortly thereafter

dubrov

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

I tried to be as forceful as I could but I probably could have insisted more, she has her own sob story so coming up with one of my own is no use even though I think her story is bs

I'm not good with confrontation and even though she's already said she won't be in the house next year I don't know if I could deal with falling out with her because I do feel if I push it anymore she'd bite back

Weigh that up against she fecks off leaving you 300 out of pocket at the end of the year.

Give her the two weeks and be clear you need the money then (make up some reason). After that confrontation is unavoidable.

gmisk

She is taking the p#ss by the sounds of it.
I would be tempted to call a house meeting unless she comes up with the money right away, I would also ask your flatmate to change the WiFi password and only give it to her when money she owes is paid

the_syco

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

I don't know if I could deal with falling out with her because I do feel if I push it anymore she'd bite back

She'll never pay you for this reason. The landlord won't care, as the bills aren't in their name so they won't be out of pocket.

Perhaps mention it now to the landlord, and bring up about her smoking in her room. She'll be evicted for it, and you'll have less bills to pay. You won't see the money, but you won't see her with her bags of shopping whilst she says that she's "broke".

April 73

Be honest & tell her that you can not afford to subsidise her bills while she enjoys nights out & brings home bags of shopping. She needs to be called out on it.
If she has a sob story - just say “I understand, but it doesn’t change the fact that I cannot subsidise your living expenses. I need my money to live myself”.

Say that if she doesn’t pay you within the week you feel that you’ll have to ask the LL to take all of the bills back into their name & she can deal with the LL in future (this is a bluff as I’m sure the LL won’t take the bills in their name but it might worry her enough to pay up)

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This post has been deleted.

nothing

If her parents are footing the bill, I'd be threatening to call them. Doubt they'd be happy to know their darling snowflake was squandering bill money on clothes and drink.

5rtytry56

nothing wrote: »

darling snowflake

pretty much.
TBH this reminds me of the speech given by a head of staff in Waterford Institute of Technology at the start of the year in a campus sports hall around September 1999. A solid part of the speech dealt with these type of students, miss many lectures, do badly in tests and would only rarely meet project deadlines on their course. Their budgeting style would become apparent. The head of staff, I've long forgotten his actual position and in name, mentioned these things to point out that these students were no more than a big waste of resources and nothing else.

My money is that your housemate is a fresher, and this may even be the first time she is away from home for an extended period. She still has the Bank of mum & dad, who are only a bllngy looking smartphone call away.

5rtytry56

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

I tried to be as forceful as I could but I probably could have insisted more, she has her own sob story so coming up with one of my own is no use even though I think her story is bs

Try to be as assertive as you can rather than be aggressive:

POLITE BUT FIRM

Achasanai

Can she not transfer from her CU to her bank account?

I Know I can.

Wheety

Can you change the bill be in her name?

the_syco

Wheety wrote: »

Can you change the bill be in her name?

A good idea until she doesn't pay, and the facilities are cut off.

emeldc

You and the other housemates need to get together and give her a deadline to bring everything up to date. If she misses the deadline, lock her out and tell her to go and freeload off someone else. My guess is she'll come back with the cash.

Wheety

Yeah she has to be confronted and told it's not good enough. This happens a lot when young people move out of the family home for the first time. They never had responsibility at home and someone else looked after the bills.

mel123

OP without meaning to sound harsh, your letting her walk all over you, no matter what her sob story is or isnt.
She said she is moving out next year, is she ever going to pay her bills? Maybe this will keep going, and by the time she moves out she will owe you 1k? Are you happy for this to happen, for her to live there and you pay HER bills?
Feck the confrontation, get the money from her, and going forward you need to get whats owed every month/two months, and tell her that.

mistersifter

The credit union story is bull**** - that's obvious.

As others have said, she needs to be confronted. Be relaxed and friendly but firm and just say "it turns out I cant hold out for another 2 weeks, this situation is putting me under financial pressure". Give her 3-4 days to get the money to you. If she doesn't get it by that stage, take matters into your own hands by blocking her from wifi, locking her out, getting the landlord to have a word, whatever you need to do.

She's been taking the piss for 5 months and has no business getting stroppy. If she does , put her in her place. Tell her that her sob stories are her problem and that you have enough to deal in your own life and shouldn't be taking on her **** too.

Tell her to get her parents to send the money via online banking or western union so she can access it now. She can pay THEM back in two weeks if needs be.

Then put rules in place so as this doesn't happen again.

Goldengirl

This post has been deleted.

jimmycrackcorm

Don't all credit unions now have online access that allow you to transfer money out?

kravmaga

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Have a little issue with one of my housemates and her not paying bills

We're in the house since September, student house, and she hasn't contributed her share of the bills at all yet. Every time a bill came around she was short for one reason or another usually a basic sob story nothing wild. Atm between 2 esb bills and an oil delivery it's ~€150 I'm owed, and another housemate is owed 5 months of broadband too but he isn't fussed at all. I haven't mentioned any of the bills to her since December before we all went home for christmas, until I did yesterday and her story now is she has the money all along but put it in her credit union account at home for safekeeping...............which she'll get when she's home in 2 weeks..........

I genuinely wasn't too fussed at all with the situation til I saw her come in the door earlier with 2 full Pennys bags, she's out 2+ nights a week too so it's not a real money issue. I'm not sure how else to approach getting her to pay up, next week will be another esb bill so that'll be another bit on the tab.

I was thinking of maybe getting onto the landlord to see if she doesn't pay up at all before the end of the year and leaves us short completely that maybe we could both get our money back via her deposit if she doesn't pay up at all which is what I'm fearing at this stage. That probably won't work anyway because I'd be thinking she'll be getting a few euro off her deposit since she's full time smoking in her room. Just not sure how else to deal with it and running out of ideas, there's no point in doing something like turning off the radiator in her room since she's just be able to turn it back on anyway

Not sure how else I can approach this in a fair manner

Sounds like a free -loader to me , not paying bills is a NO NO, if she doesnt pay her bills get rid of her, its not going to get better.

She is making excuses and is walking all over you, you have got to have a house meeting , face to face and just tell her you want your money.

All this about putting money into credit union for safe keeping is bullsh1t and just another excuse not to pay her share of the bills.

cruizer101

Its amazing how some people seem to think it is ok to do this, in reality its no different to picking up your wallet and taking money out and you can be sure people wouldn't stand for that. I'd look to get the other guy in on confronting her also, she should be paying all her bills.

SureYWouldntYa

Alright after seeing all the responses here I'm taking a harder line with her, I did feel it was bs but when the other housemate wasn't pushing it I sort of didn't either but if he's happy to let it all add up away with him.

I sent her a message earlier telling her I need to talk to her when she gets home about the money, which has been seen with no response so we'll see how that goes later on.

Of course the credit union story is bs, never bought that.

If I don't see her this evening I'll be onto the landlord to get his view on things

AVFC.Stephen

Start playing loud music beside her door on a scratched CD. When she says can you turn it down. Give her a sob story that it was your mother's CD that died and the skipping is the best part (avoiding confrontation)

Next time you meet in the kitchen. Ask her if she would like a cup of tea. Take the water out of the tap and make it. ( electricity pondering)

Turn the water off at the boiler before leaving the house. When she wants to take a shower and finds no water.... say we may have not paid a bill!!!!

In all honesty if it was me I would just ask her politely every day and each time in convo mention it with the hope she wants me to shut up as there's not much more you can do if you live with a stranger and by the sounds of things... no agreement

mistersifter

Agreed about getting the 3rd housemate in on this. He sounds like a bit of a walkover saying that he's not bothered.

It's not the most comfortable thing to do but as someone said - face to face , look her in the eye and tell her in an assertive way to pay. No need for you to lose the rag or anything, you're in the right and she hasnt a leg to stand on. Knowing that should help you confront her and not feel bad if she flips. She might well get angry as people tend to do when they know they're wrong and they get defensive , but f*ck her.

Credit unions do have online facilities nowadays and atms etc, but the credit union thing just nonsense and probably not even worth acknowledging in any discussions with her. Try not to engage with those excuses because the conversation will get derailed. Stick to the point and any of these kinds of excuses should be met with the response "do what you need to do so sort it out by the end of the week".


would be interesting to hear how it all goes! Good luck.

fritzelly

How was the tenancy set up? Individually or just the one and sub let on the lease?
What does is say in the tenancy re bills if anything?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Alright after seeing all the responses here I'm taking a harder line with her, I did feel it was bs but when the other housemate wasn't pushing it I sort of didn't either but if he's happy to let it all add up away with him.

I sent her a message earlier telling her I need to talk to her when she gets home about the money, which has been seen with no response so we'll see how that goes later on.

Of course the credit union story is bs, never bought that.

If I don't see her this evening I'll be onto the landlord to get his view on things

A lot of people struggle with confrontation when they're student age, and a lot of other people really take advantage of that, particularly when it comes to money and other housesharing things. These conversations suck, but really it's best to get acclimatised to them, they definitely get easier.

I wouldn't bother coming up with excuses or stories, it's your money, it's a considerable amount of money, you don't need to apologise for asking for it back. Give her a set timeline (by after this weekend seems loads to me) and say you need it by then. She can borrow it from her parents and then pay them back when she goes home. No need to raise your voice or swear or bring up any other issues, and don't accept that from her either.

I'd nearly put money on it that when you start the ball rolling the other housemate suddenly won't be so chilled out and happy days too.

If she starts avoiding you or if she kicks off then flag it with the landlord but I wouldn't be relying on him.

endacl

You need the following attitude.



"Yeah? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"It's in the credit union? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"You hadn't budgeted for actually having to pay up? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"What you have left is exactly what you owe me and you won't be able to eat for the rest of the month and will have to drop out of college, return home, and give up on all your hopes and dreams? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".

splinter65

My daughter is in a student house and her name is on the gas bill and I’m the garuntor.
Gas bill came and it was just €50 each.
She says to me “ will you transfer the €200 to my account and I’ll pay the bill and get the money off the other 3 girls”.
So I said “ ok” and she paid the bill.
I said “ ok so you’ll have €150 for me from the other girls on Friday” “ok” she says.
Friday night comes and she has €50 from one girl. The other 2 “ will have it Sunday night”.
“Ok” says I .
Sunday night she’s going back . “ Mam, I need €100 to put a deposit on a laptop, and 2 books and lunch and bus fare”
Says I “Aren’t you getting it off the 2 girls?” Closed the car door and drove away.
By Jesus she made them give it to her.

Ken.

endacl wrote: »

You need the following attitude.



"Yeah? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"It's in the credit union? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"You hadn't budgeted for actually having to pay up? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"What you have left is exactly what you owe me and you won't be able to eat for the rest of the month and will have to drop out of college, return home, and give up on all your hopes and dreams? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".

Just go the whole hog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZomwVcGt0LE

splinter65

endacl wrote: »

You need the following attitude.



"Yeah? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"It's in the credit union? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"You hadn't budgeted for actually having to pay up? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".
"What you have left is exactly what you owe me and you won't be able to eat for the rest of the month and will have to drop out of college, return home, and give up on all your hopes and dreams? Don't care. Not my problem. Pay me what you owe me. Now".

Spot on but with more bad language.

CollyFlower

I can't believe you'd carry-on 'not caring' for so long......I'm starting to think you're the freeloader, OP.

SureYWouldntYa

fritzelly wrote: »

How was the tenancy set up? Individually or just the one and sub let on the lease?
What does is say in the tenancy re bills if anything?

Dont have a lease actually but know the landlord personally so very unlikely to get screwed by him

No sign of her at all this evening so not much more I can do today but ill be on it quickly since im really feeling like a mug now with so many posts telling me to get her to pay up

fritzelly

If you know him personally then that should be an avenue
She's probably out on the piss hoping you're in bed by the time she gets home...

triple nipple

Ask her why she's got money for fake moustaches

kala85

Why did you pay all of the bills yourself.
Why didn't you wait until they had paid their share to pay the bill.

keavebm

Any updates

SureYWouldntYa

keavebm wrote: »

Any updates

Time for more of a laugh at me :pac:

Mutual friend tells me she was at hers a couple evenings ago "humble bragging" about not being able to afford all her bills "but still able to go on the piss with the gurls"

Life lesson for me at this stage, but she's gone home for the weekend and left her Apple TV in the sitting room so depending on my mood between now and Sunday evening it might find it's way into my room if I'm up for the fight

mistersifter

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Time for more of a laugh at me :pac:

Mutual friend tells me she was at hers a couple evenings ago "humble bragging" about not being able to afford all her bills "but still able to go on the piss with the gurls"

Life lesson for me at this stage, but she's gone home for the weekend and left her Apple TV in the sitting room so depending on my mood between now and Sunday evening it might find it's way into my room if I'm up for the fight

lash it on ebay for 150euro then send her a link to the page asking her if she wants to bid on it.:D:D

LynnGrace

I can well imagine her walking away at the end of the college year leaving the two of you stuck for the bills, unfortunately.

I'd suggest a text or call reminding her that you need your money as soon as she returns after the weekend, so she had better 'get to the credit union', and also that there is an esb bill due and she needs to have her share of that ready too.
That's a lot of money to leave another student stuck for, IMO.

the_syco

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Life lesson for me at this stage, but she's gone home for the weekend and left her Apple TV in the sitting room so depending on my mood between now and Sunday evening it might find it's way into my room if I'm up for the fight

Well, it going missing into your room ain't as bad as it going missing, permanently, tbh.

SureYWouldntYa

Little update on this. She's since been evicted after her and a mate destroyed another housemates possessions and clothes by throwing them out the bedroom window onto the oil tank breaking it in the process, the 2 bedside lockers doing most of the damage to that. Gonna be a cold storm here.

Caused ~€3k worth of damage by doing that, and also owes 3 months rent which the landlord never said anything about but thought she was paying it since last year he rang me if anyone was a couple days late. My €150 is well down the list of debtors at this stage so I doubt I'm ever gonna see it.

Life lesson for me and anyone reading this, don't let any cnut take advantage of you unless you're happy being out of pocket

fritzelly

<snip>

SureYWouldntYa

Wish I'd seen what was said before it was snipped

893bet

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Little update on this. She's since been evicted after her and a mate destroyed another housemates possessions and clothes by throwing them out the bedroom window onto the oil tank breaking it in the process, the 2 bedside lockers doing most of the damage to that. Gonna be a cold storm here.

Caused ~€3k worth of damage by doing that, and also owes 3 months rent which the landlord never said anything about but thought she was paying it since last year he rang me if anyone was a couple days late. My €150 is well down the list of debtors at this stage so I doubt I'm ever gonna see it.

Life lesson for me and anyone reading this, don't let any cnut take advantage of you unless you're happy being out of pocket

<snip>

Graham

Mod Note:

Folks, please remember this isn't a soap opera. Let's not add details that may or may not be correct, or that the OP may not wish to share

SureYWouldntYa

Graham wrote: »

Mod Note:

Folks, please remember this isn't a soap opera. Let's not add details that may or may not be correct, or that the OP may not wish to share

Well this story might actually be considered unrealistic if it was in a soap I'd say

the_syco

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Little update on this. She's since been evicted after her and a mate destroyed another housemates possessions and clothes by throwing them out the bedroom window onto the oil tank breaking it in the process, the 2 bedside lockers doing most of the damage to that.

Direct your housemate to FLAC, tbh.

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Life lesson for me

Be happy that you're only €150 down.

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Gonna be a cold storm here.

Get something like this for the window, as seen below;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMMcvFqa4Cs

Have used something similar on my window over here in Toronto, and it helped keep the heat in when it was about -20 degrees celsius

happywithlife

SureYWouldntYa wrote: »

Little update on this. She's since been evicted after her and a mate destroyed another housemates possessions and clothes by throwing them out the bedroom window onto the oil tank breaking it in the process, the 2 bedside lockers doing most of the damage to that. Gonna be a cold storm here.

Caused ~€3k worth of damage by doing that, and also owes 3 months rent which the landlord never said anything about but thought she was paying it since last year he rang me if anyone was a couple days late. My €150 is well down the list of debtors at this stage so I doubt I'm ever gonna see it.

Life lesson for me and anyone reading this, don't let any cnut take advantage of you unless you're happy being out of pocket

Tough life lesson but for future reference little miss snowflake like herself DID have the money just chose not to pay it to you. You were NEVER going to be putting her under pressure by demanding it back asap. Unfortunately she now gets to walk away without paying what is owed.
If by any chance her stuff hasn't been collected yet it's possible her parents will be with her to collect her stuff. Can you stick a copy of all bills outstanding with her share owed to her bedroom door and try to be there to get it from them before they depart? Hopefully they may be embarrassed by her antics and pay up if they are ordinary decent folks