Deeply Infatuated

blinkwink

Hey, am a male in my early 20s and met a girl a year ago at work and we became friends. Eventually circumstances changed and I haven't had any contact with her in a while. Problem is I'm deeply infatuated and really like her (putting her on a pedestal I know). I like the way she makes me feel about myself (is this selfish?).

So, seeing as I can't thinking about her, I need to take some action. I could:

1. Ask her out. She didn't respond to my last message ( We don't text much and I'm possibly overthinking or she doesn't really like me) and I'm just so afraid of asking something so out of the blue only to be rejected with no response. This also might sound selfish, but I don't have many female friends, and I also enjoy her friendship.

2. Forget about any romantic ideas with her and find someone else. I suppose this leads me onto another issue, I don't really understand how long you should converse with someone before asking out. Actually, I have trouble finding anyone in the first place, not including Tinder.

Any insights? Thanks.

Sephiroth_dude

Don't ask her out over text, her silence says it all really, If it was me I would just leave her alone and not contact her again and try online dating if you want, or join a club something like tag rugby maybe or something you're interested in, if you feel after chatting to them you want to ask them out then do, they can only say no sure.

leggo

You can’t really read too much into work friendships. I remember when I was younger and first working, I’d get constantly disappointing because I’d get on well with people in work and consider them a real life mate, only to lose contact when they’d leave after making an effort. I’d feel hurt, then notice that I did the same myself with some people too, it’s just how it is. In work you get on with people because you have to be around them for so many hours that you may as well. It’s why it’s really nice when you do make ‘real life’ friends with someone from work.

On face value based on what you say: this might just have been a work friendship to her. Truth be told, I’d be of the opinion that it’s worth sending a text asking her out anyway, just so you know (and it doesn’t sound like you’d be losing anything here since the friendship is pretty much dead). The ability to get over the fear of rejection and say how you feel without shame is a useful life skill that’s worth picking up anyway, like regardless of if it’s a yes or no you should be proud of yourself if you do it. Then once you click send just brace yourself for a no and anything on top of that is a bonus, plus it could really work out and you end up going on a date with someone you really like.

blinkwink

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Don't ask her out over text, her silence says it all really, If it was me I would just leave her alone and not contact her again and try online dating if you want, or join a club something like tag rugby maybe or something you're interested in, if you feel after chatting to them you want to ask them out then do, they can only say no sure.

Thanks for the response. I probably wouldnt ask her out by testing but ask to meet up and then see if there are signs of interest and then ask her maybe. However, I just dont see her even responding to a catch-up.

When chatting to someone and then asking them out, my concern is whether i will come across as forward/creepy if you get me.

blinkwink

leggo wrote: »

You can’t really read too much into work friendships. I remember when I was younger and first working, I’d get constantly disappointing because I’d get on well with people in work and consider them a real life mate, only to lose contact when they’d leave after making an effort. I’d feel hurt, then notice that I did the same myself with some people too, it’s just how it is. In work you get on with people because you have to be around them for so many hours that you may as well. It’s why it’s really nice when you do make ‘real life’ friends with someone from work.

On face value based on what you say: this might just have been a work friendship to her. Truth be told, I’d be of the opinion that it’s worth sending a text asking her out anyway, just so you know (and it doesn’t sound like you’d be losing anything here since the friendship is pretty much dead). The ability to get over the fear of rejection and say how you feel without shame is a useful life skill that’s worth picking up anyway, like regardless of if it’s a yes or no you should be proud of yourself if you do it. Then once you click send just brace yourself for a no and anything on top of that is a bonus, plus it could really work out and you end up going on a date with someone you really like.

Thanks for the response. What you wrote makes sense and I would bet that I think about her wayyy more than she does about me. Not to say that its malicious, but you meet so many people you cant be up to date with everyone.

I would consider sending a text but it would be too out of the blue and I would prefer working towards it. I will keep it in mind though.

blinkwink

Bump

Rubberchikken

You may get rejected , you may not. but unless you take tje chance youll never know. There's nothing creepy about asking someone out. Could you adk her out for a drink/cinema/meal? If it doesnt happen at least you've tried.
Best of luck

ncmc

I think you’re massively over thinking this to be honest. ‘Working towards’ asking her out just seems like you’re investing way too much here. As Leggo said, there is no friendship there to speak of, you were work colleagues who happened to be friendly, it’s not like you’re friends since childhood so you don’t have much to lose by asking her out. Just ring her up or text her and ask if she’d be interested in meeting for a coffee. Don’t try and ‘work up’ to it, you’re just liable to get head wrecked trying to analyse her reponses to every text. If she doesn’t reply to the text or says no, then just move on

Part of me wonders if you’re reluctant to ask her out because you like being able to build up the relationship in your head into something it’s not. By asking her out, you risk her saying no and you lose the fantasy relationship you’ve built up in your head.

Oh and there’s nothing creepy about asking someone out! Even if she’s not interested, she’ll most likely be flattered. Unless you don’t take the hint and harasss her, there’s absolutely nothing creepy about it.

beefburrito

Op read my post's in the gentlemens forum about MGTOW

For your own sake run.....keep running the opposite direction.

Save yourself emotional pain and a roller coaster ride while sitting on broken glass.

If you feel you're getting obsessed with her in an unhealthy way seek medical advice,you could end up unwell.

You'll look like the psychopath she'll end up looking like Mary Poppins.

Unfortunately she hasn't the Fckn decency to tell you "you're a lovely guy but sorry our lifestyles don't match and wish you luck in finding someone nice"

No she'll just ignore you because she's already made up her mind that she's worth being the way she is.

Yes it's a free world but dude leave her alone and enjoy your youth....

Collie D

OP, ignore the last poster.

As someone else said there's nothing creepy about asking someone out. She may say yes, she may say no.

By the way, you don't sound crazy or infatuated. It's perfectly normal to like someone even if the feeling is not mutual. Dealing with her saying no is another thing perhaps but you don't come across as obsessed or anything.

Johngoose

blinkwink wrote: »

Hey, am a male in my early 20s and met a girl a year ago at work and we became friends. Eventually circumstances changed and I haven't had any contact with her in a while. Problem is I'm deeply infatuated and really like her (putting her on a pedestal I know). I like the way she makes me feel about myself (is this selfish?).

So, seeing as I can't thinking about her, I need to take some action. I could:

1. Ask her out. She didn't respond to my last message ( We don't text much and I'm possibly overthinking or she doesn't really like me) and I'm just so afraid of asking something so out of the blue only to be rejected with no response. This also might sound selfish, but I don't have many female friends, and I also enjoy her friendship.

2. Forget about any romantic ideas with her and find someone else. I suppose this leads me onto another issue, I don't really understand how long you should converse with someone before asking out. Actually, I have trouble finding anyone in the first place, not including Tinder.

Any insights? Thanks.

I think you answered your own question really, when you said she didn’t text you back. She doesn’t feel the same way as you do.

ncmc

I think people are over reacting to her not replying to the last message. According to the OP, they don’t text much and by the sounds of it, she replied to previous messages. There could be any number of reasons why she didn’t reply, it could have been a natural end to the text conversation (someone has to send the last text!) Or she could have forgotten, I’ve often meant to reply to a text, if I don’t do it straight away, I often forget. Hell, I’ve been thought I’ve replied to texts when I actually haven’t! My point being, not replying to one text isn’t a big indicator about how she feels, especially if she thinks you’re only ex co workers. She might react very differently if she knew you were interested in her romantically. Just ask her and find out for sure! Seriously, you’re young, footloose and fancy free, what do you have to lose???

Ursus Horribilis

I remember your previous posts on PI. I don't know how you are now but you have come across as a bit fragile in the past. Are you strong enough to handle the rejection if she turns you down? The title of this thread says it all - Deeply Infatuated. Are you sure you've not developed this huge crush on her because she was kind to you?

By all means, ask her out for a coffee and see how it goes. For all you know, she has a boyfriend by now and it's immaterial. But unless you ask, you'll never know. I used to catch up with a former male colleague for a coffee or a few drinks every now and then. There was never anything romantic between us and it was simply two pals meeting up for a chinwag. Like many work friendships, it fizzled out but that's beside the point. I would worry about that pedestal you've put her on though. She's not the person to cure your ills or a goddess with a halo.

blinkwink

Rubberchikken wrote: »

You may get rejected , you may not. but unless you take tje chance youll never know. There's nothing creepy about asking someone out. Could you adk her out for a drink/cinema/meal? If it doesnt happen at least you've tried.
Best of luck

It's not so much asking her out that is creepy, but I feel that the first contact that we have had in a while is me asking her out might raise red flags or might just be a bit wierd. Idk

blinkwink

ncmc wrote: »

I think you’re massively over thinking this to be honest. ‘Working towards’ asking her out just seems like you’re investing way too much here. As Leggo said, there is no friendship there to speak of, you were work colleagues who happened to be friendly, it’s not like you’re friends since childhood so you don’t have much to lose by asking her out. Just ring her up or text her and ask if she’d be interested in meeting for a coffee. Don’t try and ‘work up’ to it, you’re just liable to get head wrecked trying to analyse her reponses to every text. If she doesn’t reply to the text or says no, then just move on

Part of me wonders if you’re reluctant to ask her out because you like being able to build up the relationship in your head into something it’s not. By asking her out, you risk her saying no and you lose the fantasy relationship you’ve built up in your head.

Oh and there’s nothing creepy about asking someone out! Even if she’s not interested, she’ll most likely be flattered. Unless you don’t take the hint and harasss her, there’s absolutely nothing creepy about it.

So maybe ask for a catch up over coffee, and go from there? You might be onto something about the "fantasy" I wake up thinking of her and the way she made me feel in the past which I guess is a bit sad.

I worry that the fact we haven't spoken for a while and the first thing is I say is ask her out, then she might wonder what provoked me to ask her out and she may think that I must lust for her, and maybe that's what I mean by creepy.

leggo

blinkwink wrote: »

It's not so much asking her out that is creepy, but I feel that the first contact that we have had in a while is me asking her out might raise red flags or might just be a bit wierd. Idk

It's really not that strange of a thing to do. What are you raising flags for? You fancied this girl, guys fancy girls, it's allowed, you've done nothing wrong! You're coming clean and actually showing a backbone in doing so. Whether it works or not, she'll probably respect you more after it for doing so (as long as, if it's a no, you take it in your stride) because asking people out is difficult to do. Especially if she saw you as this stereotypical 'nice guy', she'll respect that. And if she's a decent person, she'll let you down gently. If she doesn't, then she's not and you've lost out on nothing because you've learned this.

There's nothing more petrifying than writing that text, but it also feels good once you've clicked send. Then whatever comes back, just remember you've shown yourself a lot by doing this and can do it again if need be. If it's a yes, great. If it's a no, then you can let go of this girl and move your attention onto someone who you could potentially be with. Zero to lose.

blinkwink

ncmc wrote: »

I think people are over reacting to her not replying to the last message. According to the OP, they don’t text much and by the sounds of it, she replied to previous messages. There could be any number of reasons why she didn’t reply, it could have been a natural end to the text conversation (someone has to send the last text!) Or she could have forgotten, I’ve often meant to reply to a text, if I don’t do it straight away, I often forget. Hell, I’ve been thought I’ve replied to texts when I actually haven’t! My point being, not replying to one text isn’t a big indicator about how she feels, especially if she thinks you’re only ex co workers. She might react very differently if she knew you were interested in her romantically. Just ask her and find out for sure! Seriously, you’re young, footloose and fancy free, what do you have to lose???

I guess just that I don't really have many female friends and I don't like the idea of destroying one. I agree with what you are saying though, in the great scheme of things not much I'm probably just catastrophizing things.

blinkwink

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I remember your previous posts on PI. I don't know how you are now but you have come across as a bit fragile in the past. Are you strong enough to handle the rejection if she turns you down? The title of this thread says it all - Deeply Infatuated. Are you sure you've not developed this huge crush on her because she was kind to you?

By all means, ask her out for a coffee and see how it goes. For all you know, she has a boyfriend by now and it's immaterial. But unless you ask, you'll never know. I used to catch up with a former male colleague for a coffee or a few drinks every now and then. There was never anything romantic between us and it was simply two pals meeting up for a chinwag. Like many work friendships, it fizzled out but that's beside the point. I would worry about that pedestal you've put her on though. She's not the person to cure your ills or a goddess with a halo.

it's a bad thing when you get recognised on Personal Issues haha. I developed the crush from a mixture of kindness and signals which I maybe over reading etc. Another aspect is I just don't go out with many girls and don't have any contact with anyone else and maybe I'm out of options and lonely, I'm not sure tbh. She is someone I've fancied for a while, and instead of being passive I need to be accountable for my own happiness. To answer your own question, I'm unsure if I'm strong enough, but I'll have a talk with my therapist about it.

She could have a boyfriend and that's something a catch up could answer I suppose and I could move on with my life. I guess I just spend too much time thinking of her and I need a way to move on.

blinkwink

leggo wrote: »

It's really not that strange of a thing to do. What are you raising flags for? You fancied this girl, guys fancy girls, it's allowed, you've done nothing wrong! You're coming clean and actually showing a backbone in doing so. Whether it works or not, she'll probably respect you more after it for doing so (as long as, if it's a no, you take it in your stride) because asking people out is difficult to do. Especially if she saw you as this stereotypical 'nice guy', she'll respect that. And if she's a decent person, she'll let you down gently. If she doesn't, then she's not and you've lost out on nothing because you've learned this.

There's nothing more petrifying than writing that text, but it also feels good once you've clicked send. Then whatever comes back, just remember you've shown yourself a lot by doing this and can do it again if need be. If it's a yes, great. If it's a no, then you can let go of this girl and move your attention onto someone who you could potentially be with. Zero to lose.

It just might be weird to her that the first thing I say to her in a while to asking her out. Like I would consider asking her to catch up first and find out if she has a boyfriend and maybe reading signals etc. But then If I do ask her out after the catch up, she might think I'm manipulative or sneaky for using the catch up as a means to decide whether to ask her out.

I'm probably overthinking and it's clear I have skewed perceptions of whats ok and not ok in conversing with people.

snotboogie

blinkwink wrote: »

It just might be weird to her that the first thing I say to her in a while to asking her out. Like I would consider asking her to catch up first and find out if she has a boyfriend and maybe reading signals etc. But then If I do ask her out after the catch up, she might think I'm manipulative or sneaky for using the catch up as a means to decide whether to ask her out.

I'm probably overthinking and it's clear I have skewed perceptions of whats ok and not ok in conversing with people.

Forget her and move on. You are way too invested in what is a former work colleague. People are defacto forced to be friendly to people at work, having a laugh with colleagues is making the best of a restricted social situation, not an invitation for a relationship. Texting her to ask for a coffee will seem creepy and she will say no. Trust me. This has potential to damage your reputation among work colleagues (past or present), she will tell your mutual aquantances the next time she meets them.

You are much better off getting on tinder and going on a few dates that don't have this ridiculous weight of expectation. It will force you to practice your social skills in courting situations and up your confidence.

blinkwink

snotboogie wrote: »

Forget her and move on. You are way too invested in what is a former work colleague. People are defacto forced to be friendly to people at work, having a laugh with colleagues is making the best of a restricted social situation, not an invitation for a relationship. Texting her to ask for a coffee will seem creepy and she will say no. Trust me. This has potential to damage your reputation among work colleagues (past or present), she will tell your mutual aquantances the next time she meets them.

You are much better off getting on tinder and going on a few dates that don't have this ridiculous weight of expectation. It will force you to practice your social skills in courting situations and up your confidence.

I see what you are saying but I don't see how it would damage relationships with other work colleagues if she never meets them. Furthermore, yeah people in work are somewhat forced to be friendly with each other, but we've seen each other out of work several times. I'm not sure friends would think that away about work friends, but I could be wrong.

leggo

We're getting into very personal opinion-based territory, but I wouldn't see it as creepy to ask someone out. If I heard that someone I knew asked someone else I knew out and they said no, yeah I'd think it was interesting, but I wouldn't think the former was a creep for being attracted to someone from the opposite sex and respectfully acting on it. That's about as natural human behaviour as there is. Even if it was just a work friendship and came out of the blue. People have such shame when it comes to liking people but I think that's their issue more than an actual one.

OP I would say that your fears are more founded with regards to asking her out under the guise of being friends then landing that on her face to face. It could feel a bit like an ambush if you haven't got serious signals from her, and there's a good chance you might bottle it in that scenario too and just end up back where you've always been with this girl. In an ideal world, you'd text her, beat around the bush for a bit and see if it gets flirty, then ask. But you don't have that kind of texting relationship and she can be flaky. The goal here should be just to push yourself a bit and get closure either way with this girl so you can let go of the infatuation. Her saying yes would be great, but it's not essential. If you come clean and ask her outright in the first text, you're done and whatever happens happens from there.

blinkwink

leggo wrote: »

We're getting into very personal opinion-based territory, but I wouldn't see it as creepy to ask someone out. If I heard that someone I knew asked someone else I knew out and they said no, yeah I'd think it was interesting, but I wouldn't think the former was a creep for being attracted to someone from the opposite sex and respectfully acting on it. That's about as natural human behaviour as there is. Even if it was just a work friendship and came out of the blue. People have such shame when it comes to liking people but I think that's their issue more than an actual one.

OP I would say that your fears are more founded with regards to asking her out under the guise of being friends then landing that on her face to face. It could feel a bit like an ambush if you haven't got serious signals from her, and there's a good chance you might bottle it in that scenario too and just end up back where you've always been with this girl. In an ideal world, you'd text her, beat around the bush for a bit and see if it gets flirty, then ask. But you don't have that kind of texting relationship and she can be flaky. The goal here should be just to push yourself a bit and get closure either way with this girl so you can let go of the infatuation. Her saying yes would be great, but it's not essential. If you come clean and ask her outright in the first text, you're done and whatever happens happens from there.

I might be overreacting but now I'm thinking did she ever really like me, as a person even, at all. Furthermore, I'm starting to wonder if this girl was just playing with me, or she was my friend or she was indifferent. I definitely have an issue dealing with people.

At the same time though, I am just mind reading and don't know what she is thinking. I would bet I think more of her than she does of me, but yeah some closure would be great. However, i feel a catch-up is reasonable at the very least and I don't see how that could possible be creepy. Going from there I'm unsure if by asking her out she think ive used the catch-up as a means to ask her out, which I would have, which would be creepy I guess.

leggo

OP everything you're wondering there, that can be answered, is answered in the post you quoted. Spade a spade: you're going around in circles over-thinking to try create excuses not to do it because the thought of doing it is terrifying, I get it. But you're posting here for a reason. Why not just text her asking her out today? Your plan of texting her for a catch up then asking her out is a bad one and will look like you've got this elaborate plan for her, which people don't like, it would come across creepy.

If you keep doing this dance, you'll end up in the same position for years. Break the cycle. Don't come up with more excuses or "But what if I say this and this and have my right leg at a 90-degree angle to my left..." No. You have her number. You can text her literally right this second.

"Hey stranger, how are things? You popped into my head for some reason today (if something of hers that's relevant popped up on Facebook or some social media even better). How are things? Come here, I know this is so out of the blue but I would've felt inappropriate asking while we were working together: would you be interested in going for a drink sometime? It's been forever since we chatted so I don't even know if you're loved up currently or anything, no hassle if that's the case! Let me know anyway, hope all is well. "

There. Translate that into your own words and now you don't even need to think of what to say.

blinkwink

leggo wrote: »

OP everything you're wondering there, that can be answered, is answered in the post you quoted. Spade a spade: you're going around in circles over-thinking to try create excuses not to do it because the thought of doing it is terrifying, I get it. But you're posting here for a reason. Why not just text her asking her out today? Your plan of texting her for a catch up then asking her out is a bad one and will look like you've got this elaborate plan for her, which people don't like, it would come across creepy.

If you keep doing this dance, you'll end up in the same position for years. Break the cycle. Don't come up with more excuses or "But what if I say this and this and have my right leg at a 90-degree angle to my left..." No. You have her number. You can text her literally right this second.

"Hey stranger, how are things? You popped into my head for some reason today (if something of hers that's relevant popped up on Facebook or some social media even better). How are things? Come here, I know this is so out of the blue but I would've felt inappropriate asking while we were working together: would you be interested in going for a drink sometime? It's been forever since we chatted so I don't even know if you're loved up currently or anything, no hassle if that's the case! Let me know anyway, hope all is well. "

There. Translate that into your own words and now you don't even need to think of what to say.

Thanks for the help. I get what you are saying. A lot of time has passed that I think it might comes across as creepy. I'll have another think about it though.

blinkwink

Thanks everyone for the responses. I still have to thinking to do and might bring this up with my therapist. Also, I feel bad about bumping the thread when other people in the forum might have bigger issues but I just felt I needed more feedback. Thanks again.

Yellow pack crisps

Asking someone out is not ceeepy. When she did not return your text that is a pretty clear message. Why you would think she messed you around god only knows, why would you need closure? Over what is basically a crush on your path and certainly not her side. You don’t need to meet but if something should be learned from all this then that something should be that you have a bit to go on yourself and how you view things or people. I say with kindness: forget the girl. Focus on yourself. What is essentially a crush should not evoke this sort of reaction. It is not creepy, but it’s not a standard reaction either.

IITYWYBMAD

blinkwink wrote: »

I might be overreacting but now I'm thinking did she ever really like me, as a person even, at all. Furthermore, I'm starting to wonder if this girl was just playing with me, or she was my friend or she was indifferent. I definitely have an issue dealing with people.

At the same time though, I am just mind reading and don't know what she is thinking. I would bet I think more of her than she does of me, but yeah some closure would be great. However, i feel a catch-up is reasonable at the very least and I don't see how that could possible be creepy. Going from there I'm unsure if by asking her out she think ive used the catch-up as a means to ask her out, which I would have, which would be creepy I guess.

You need to take a step back from this. You are way way over thinking this. Have a re-read of what I quoted above? Where are you going with "Did she ever really like me?" "Playing with me?"

You don't need to know what she is thinking, and I'm only basing this on what you have written in this thread, but you are coming across as really obsessive, the more you think about this.

In my experience, and from reading this thread, this girl does not owe you a "catch up" or anything else, and phrasing it in such a way as being "reasonable" is not on. It may be reasonable to you, she might feel it's not.

Do yourself a favour, and stop thinking about this Girl, and give both yourself and her a break.

dellas1979

blinkwink wrote: »

I might be overreacting but now I'm thinking did she ever really like me, as a person even, at all. Furthermore, I'm starting to wonder if this girl was just playing with me, or she was my friend or she was indifferent. I definitely have an issue dealing with people.

Ah christ now.

You know all this is coming from you? Beyond over analysing.

Its very simple OP. If you put yourself out there, to anyone, at any level, and they dont respond the way you want them to, move on. It really is that simple. I spent a while in my (earlier) life doing the "whyyy dont they like meeeeeee" and spent a lot of time wallowing. The truth is, no, not everyone will like me or get on with me. There are people I dont like, or I dont get on with. Just because I like someone, doesnt mean they have to like me, or vice versa. There is no law. And really. That is that. There is no over thinking. And beating yourself up. And hours of worry and whys.

You havent even gotton to the "wanna go for a coffee" part yet. I suggest you build yourself up a little and ask someone (random even) and practice.

You also need to figure out what she is so high on a pedestal (remember you put her there) and why you put yourself so low.

blinkwink

dellas1979 wrote: »

Ah christ now.

You know all this is coming from you? Beyond over analysing.

Its very simple OP. If you put yourself out there, to anyone, at any level, and they dont respond the way you want them to, move on. It really is that simple. I spent a while in my (earlier) life doing the "whyyy dont they like meeeeeee" and spent a lot of time wallowing. The truth is, no, not everyone will like me or get on with me. There are people I dont like, or I dont get on with. Just because I like someone, doesnt mean they have to like me, or vice versa. There is no law. And really. That is that. There is no over thinking. And beating yourself up. And hours of worry and whys.

You havent even gotton to the "wanna go for a coffee" part yet. I suggest you build yourself up a little and ask someone (random even) and practice.

You also need to figure out what she is so high on a pedestal (remember you put her there) and why you put yourself so low.

I understand that she doesn't have to like me etc. We were friends, we got on great, time moved on etc. So when I sent the text months ago that's why I felt insecure about the friendship, even though there could be millions of reasons why she didn't respond.

I suspect self esteem has a part to play here. I'm going to heed the advice of the thread and forget about her. I definitely built her up in my head. I will bring this issue up with my therapist in the context of social issues etc. and try and get on with life.

blinkwink

Yellow pack crisps wrote: »

Asking someone out is not ceeepy. When she did not return your text that is a pretty clear message. Why you would think she messed you around god only knows, why would you need closure? Over what is basically a crush on your path and certainly not her side. You don’t need to meet but if something should be learned from all this then that something should be that you have a bit to go on yourself and how you view things or people. I say with kindness: forget the girl. Focus on yourself. What is essentially a crush should not evoke this sort of reaction. It is not creepy, but it’s not a standard reaction either.

I suspect low self esteem and just a slight distrust of people makes me paranoid and insecure in friendships. Closure would be useful because if I knew for sure she didn't have any interest in me then I can stop thinking about her and move on with my life. I agree that I need to move on. I don't go out much, I don't have any female friends and with some other stuff I guess thinking about her makes me happy and reminds me of a good time in my life, maybe it's the sign of a deeper issue. I'm not sure.

blinkwink

I think this thread has run its course. I've said what's needs to be said in my previous few posts. If it is possible, could a mod close this thread? Thanks.