Can you get a Penis Pump on the Medical Card?

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

There doesn't seem to be much information online whether you can get a free Penis Pump if you have a medical card.

Think a Penis Pump could be a fun thing to mess around with. It seems like the 'Gold Standard' for Penis Enlargers are made in Sweden.
I'm going to pick up a copy of this book Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby) to help me get more informed about them.

Anyone here have any luck getting a Swedish made Penis Pump on the medical card???

falinn merking

My cat likes tuna.

RobbingBandit

My cats breath smells like cat food your cat likes the smell of its own farts.

No you can't get such things on the medical card tiny thing.

falinn merking

RobbingBandit wrote: »

My cats breath smells like cat food your cat likes the smell of its own farts.

No you can't get such things on the medical card tiny thing.

You got your answer OP.

Have you tried anything else on your floppy bits OP?

c.p.w.g.w

Could try the hoover, that may work the same way as the penis pump:eek:

falinn merking

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Could try the hoover, that may work the same way as the penis pump:eek:

Or the cat if he has one.

ardinn

Verpiss dich wrote: »

You got your answer OP.

Have you tried anything else on your floppy bits OP?

I heard a story bout a fella who lost 2 inches of his urethra stickin his dick in a hoover - Im not quite sure how - or why, but its something I am not comfortable with!

Miike

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

There doesn't seem to be much information online whether you can get a free Penis Pump if you have a medical card.

Think a Penis Pump could be a fun thing to mess around with. It seems like the 'Gold Standard' for Penis Enlargers are made in Sweden.
I'm going to pick up a copy of this book Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby) to help me get more informed about them.

Anyone here have any luck getting a Swedish made Penis Pump on the medical card???

Genuine question. Why would they supply a penis pump on the medical card?

koumi

hyper-testicularitis subpenisnormalis, common enough condition. you would probably be waiting 18 months for referral to tiny penis clinic but you can buy for fairly cheap on amazon, I imagine.

ardinn

Miike wrote: »

Genuine question. Why would they supply a penis pump on the medical card?

Penis enlargements are covered by VHI - Thats not a joke! Tell your doctor your depressed over the size of himself and off you'l go to get biggered!!

Canis Lupus

ardinn wrote: »

Penis enlargements are covered by VHI - Thats not a joke! Tell your doctor your depressed over the size of himself and off you'l go to get biggered!!

They can't really be biggered though can they? The aul penis pump is supposedly just a waste of time. I vaguely recall seeing a show years ago that suggested there was a kind of band that ran down the length that could be cut which would add a small bit of length but other than that tough sh*t.

Miike

ardinn wrote: »

Penis enlargements are covered by VHI - Thats not a joke! Tell your doctor your depressed over the size of himself and off you'l go to get biggered!!

A health insurer will pay for an external opening for the urethra after an accident. This has been painted as "penis enlargement" and the rumour is run rife. If I go into my doctor and tell him I'm depressed I have no money do you think my insurer might cut me a fast cheque?

Surgical penis enlargement techniques for cosmetic purposes is rejected by most of the established medical societies in the world because the chances of 'it' working afterwards is near zero

SuperSean11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpGoftJ7zD0

kneemos

Would a Turkey Baster suffice?

Arghus

Pumping the system.

Old Perry

ardinn wrote: »

Penis enlargements are covered by VHI - Thats not a joke! Tell your doctor your depressed over the size of himself and off you'l go to get biggered!!

Vhi's advertisement department are missing a trick here

ardinn

Miike wrote: »

A health insurer will pay for an external opening for the urethra after an accident. This has been painted as "penis enlargement" and the rumour is run rife. If I go into my doctor and tell him I'm depressed I have no money do you think my insurer might cut me a fast cheque?

Surgical penis enlargement techniques for cosmetic purposes is rejected by most of the established medical societies in the world because the chances of 'it' working afterwards is near zero

Maybe your right - im only going on what 2 vhi employees have told me - one as recent as 7 months ago.

RobbingBandit

Arghus wrote: »

Pumping the system.

Only to then try milk the system

diomed

A magnifying glass is useful, just make sure the sun isn't shining.

everlast75

kneemos wrote: »

Would a Turkey Baster suffice?

She would, if she was attractive

Cee-Jay-Cee

No you can’t get one with the medical card, I know that for a certainty.

I’d just like to add that I have never applied or being refused a penis pump on the medical card.

Kimbot

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

No you can’t get one with the medical card, I know that for a certainty.

I’d just like to add that I have never applied or being refused a penis pump on the medical card.

But "a friend" did :pac:

Cee-Jay-Cee

jonnycivic wrote: »

But "a friend" did :pac:

I’d rather not comment on that suffice to say my friend, let’s call him ‘John’ wouldn’t be best pleased if I were to reveal to the world that he has a tiny penis and was reading online about penis pumps to help enlarge his manhood and so went into his local HSE offices and asked the girl at the counter in full ear shot of several people waiting behind him if his medical card covered penis enlargement and specifically a penis pump to which the HSE employee shouted loudly to someone in the back office ‘Hey Frank does the Medical card cover penis pumps’ to which Frank shouted back ‘who wants to know’ and the girl replied ‘Alan O’Donnell’. Frank shouted back ‘No the medical card doesn’t cover penis pumps’ My friend John left the office rather red faced but like I said I’d rather not comment on who gave me the information.

Feisar

ardinn wrote: »

Penis enlargements are covered by VHI - Thats not a joke! Tell your doctor your depressed over the size of himself and off you'l go to get biggered!!

But what if it ended up buggered instead of biggered?

If I had a micro micky I'd probably look into getting surgery however I'm happy enough to mosey through life average.

Plopsu

Verpiss dich wrote: »

My cat likes tuna.

What in the name of god did you just catch that cat doing??

harry Bailey esq

Miike wrote: »

Genuine question. Why would they supply a penis pump on the medical card?

For penis pumping obviously. I wouldn't imagine many chemist's would stock them though. What I do know, is that if the op is above a certain age, let's say 45/50 the GP will happily prescribe viagra. The alternative has been mentioned a few times already. The venerable Hoover™. Whatever you do, don't use a Dyson.

...__...

Welcome back After Hours I've missed you.

Boom_Bap

I wonder if a breast pump can be modified somehow to become a penis pump.

Hotblack Desiato

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I wonder if a breast pump can be modified somehow to become a penis pump.

Maybe a penis pump can be modified to make breasts bigger :P

Boom_Bap

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Maybe a penis pump can be modified to make breasts bigger :P

A breast pump is not designed to make boobies bigger

Hotblack Desiato

Feisar wrote: »

If I had a micro micky I'd probably look into getting surgery however I'm happy enough to mosey through life average.

If you tell them you're a pre-op female to male transsexual they might be able to add a bit onto the end for you as it were.

BattleCorp

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Maybe a penis pump can be modified to make breasts bigger :P

You have it the wrong way around.

Breasts are designed to make a penis bigger.

johnnyskeleton

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

Anyone here have any luck getting a Swedish made Penis Pump on the medical card???

I went into the mater and asked them. The girl behind the desk said "do you know something, its never come up"

It's not fair to call the OP names. It's not like this shortcoming is his fault.

Miike

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

For penis pumping obviously. I wouldn't imagine many chemist's would stock them though. What I do know, is that if the op is above a certain age, let's say 45/50 the GP will happily prescribe viagra. The alternative has been mentioned a few times already. The venerable Hoover™. Whatever you do, don't use a Dyson.

and penis pumping is an approved MEDICAL treatment for? It's the medical card, not the Ann Summers free loot card. Cop on t'fcuk