Falling in love with another man

MadDog76 · 17-12-2017 07:28PM

JupiterKid wrote: »

There’s a guy doing the same yoga classes as me. We seem to have a lot in common and he’s well fit. We have gone for a coffee afterwards and talked a lot. I haven't been in a long term relationship in years. Haven't even had nookie in almost a year. I was eyeing him up today and he did likewise with me.

I think I’m falling for him but I don’t know if this is reciprocated. I fear rejection.

What should I do? :o

JupiterKid wrote: »

Yes, I broke up with my partner and why shouldn’t I post this in AH? I’m interested in the responses I’m getting, good and bad. Relationship forum might have been more appropriate but why should I limit myself to the LGBT forum? Aren’t there plenty of LGBT issues discussed and LGBT posters on AH. Why should I pigeonhole myself?

And yes, the guy I’ve taken a fancy to is indeed gay. He made that very clear the second time we went for a coffee after the yoga. I really think I’m falling for him!:o

I’m no liar by the way.

Hmmmmm ...........

Pac1Man · 17-12-2017 07:49PM

I know how you feel OP. I went out to buy jam doughnuts a while back and came back with custard ones.

JupiterKid · 17-12-2017 10:54PM

MadDog76 wrote: »

Hmmmmm ...........

My relationship with my last partner wasn’t what you would define as “long term”. Sex was also minimal - ergo one of the main reasons for the break up. It was “complicated.”

Anyway, I don’t need to justify or explain myself on here.

MadDog76 · 18-12-2017 12:32AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

My relationship with my last partner wasn’t what you would define as “long term”. Sex was also minimal - ergo one of the main reasons for the break up. It was “complicated.”

Anyway, I don’t need to justify or explain myself on here.

You don't need to post anything at all on here ......... but you did.

MyStubbleItches · 18-12-2017 12:38AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

My relationship with my last partner wasn’t what you would define as “long term”. Sex was also minimal - ergo one of the main reasons for the break up. It was “complicated.”

Anyway, I don’t need to justify or explain myself on here.

No, you don't. But you choose to. I think at this stage most people know you're gay. You don't need to scream about it anymore. I'll be shot for this, I know, but you're not doing LGBTWXYZ folk any service with your drama queen ****. You're gay, most of us accept this. Stop making a big deal out of it, the rest of us don't care.

JupiterKid · 18-12-2017 12:42AM

MyStubbleItches wrote: »

No, you don't. But you choose to. I think at this stage most people know you're gay. You don't need to scream about it anymore. I'll be shot for this, I know, but you're not doing LGBTWXYZ folk any service with your drama queen ****. You're gay, most of us accept this. Stop making a big deal out of it, the rest of us don't care.

Erm - where do I scream about being gay?

Yes, I’ve mentioned being gay in quite a few threads because that’s what I am. But in the vast majority of my posts on AH I’ve not mentioned it at all. Your post is much more telling about you than I.

MyStubbleItches · 18-12-2017 12:49AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Erm - where do I scream about being gay? Yes, I’ve mentioned being gay in quite a few threads because that’s what I am. But in the vast majority of my posts on AH I’ve not mentioned it at all. Your post is much more telling about you than I.

You scream about being gay. You might not realise it but you take a massive sledgehammer and whack the fact in wherever you can. My post might tell a lot about me but your continued behaviour tells a lot about you too. Relax a little. You're grand, you're liked.

18-12-2017 12:53AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Why should I pigeonhole myself?

Not really the appropriate place to ask this, the sex and sexuality forum is that way ———->

Sephiroth_dude · 18-12-2017 01:24AM

Ask him on a date JK and follow the advice from this video.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSJMISy5UgY

:pac:

DivingDuck · 18-12-2017 01:37AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Yes, I broke up with my partner and why shouldn’t I post this in AH?

There's nothing wrong with it, but I don't think I'd post about any relationship issues I was having in AH— I lack either the bravery or the patience to scroll through the answers I'd get. Maybe both. Definitely both, actually.

Sounds like it's going to work out for you, though (the guy, not the posting here), so good luck!

B.A._Baracus · 18-12-2017 01:58AM

JupiterKid wrote: »

Well, I wasn’t even sure he was gay until last week. Not all gay guys jump straight into the sack, believe it or not. I drink decaf coffee btw.

What a rude thing to say.
It's like you wanted to say that regardless of what you quoted.

In any case you're a spoofer from what another user posted :pac:

JupiterKid · 18-12-2017 01:59AM

Hi mods. Can you please move this thread to Relationship Issues?

Donald Trump · 18-12-2017 02:14AM

Feckin' gays. Well someone had the guts to stand up to them at last. Coming over here and taking our jobs and our wimmin and acting like they feckin' own the place. Good for you Father

Buford T. Justice XIX · 18-12-2017 09:59AM

Mod Note: Moved to Relationship as per OPs request. Please note the new forum and new forum rules apply, please,

Thanks in advance,

Buford T. Justice.

Pelvis · 19-12-2017 12:33AM

You're just out of a relationship, and now think you're "falling" for a guy at yoga who you've had a coffee with.

I think you need to get a grip tbh.

GingerLily · 19-12-2017 12:47AM

Do you usually have problems asking men out OP? Are you just looking for encouragement or is there an issue here?

You're newly single you say - so you might as well ask someone out and get back out there - if that's what your gut is telling you.

JupiterKid · 19-12-2017 01:25AM

Pelvis wrote: »

You're just out of a relationship, and now think you're "falling" for a guy at yoga who you've had a coffee with.

I think you need to get a grip tbh.

The last relationship was very problematic. It fizzled out and the writing was on the wall for a good while. I think your comments are a little unfair. Perhaps I’m on the rebound and need to take a breather.

But I have not felt like this for years. I feel that I genuinely am falling for him.:o BTW I’ve had yoga with him and coffee afterwards about 4 times now.

BetsyEllen · 19-12-2017 05:13PM

Pelvis wrote: »

You're just out of a relationship, and now think you're "falling" for a guy at yoga who you've had a coffee with.

I think you need to get a grip tbh.

I don't get this comment?
You can split up with someone on a Monday and fall for someone else on a Tuesday.
You can fall for someone whilst in a relationship.

Why does he need to get a grip?

Katgurl · 19-12-2017 09:26PM

jK can't you introduce the conversation by asking him if he's dating at the moment or whatever and see where that leads? Just find out if he's single and open to meeting someone then suggest dinner some night.

You're halfway there surely after four coffee dates.

JupiterKid · 24-01-2018 12:04AM

UPDATE:
Thanks for the words of advice people. Well, we did go for dinner and I went back to his place and let’s just say we were intimate. :cool: We weren’t in touch over the Xmas break as we were doing our separate things but we met again just after New Years and had great sex again.:)

However, he told me he needed a bit of space to think things over as he had been in a long term relationship until about a year ago and was cheated on and was badly hurt. He said he wanted to take things slowly. I agreed and we kept in touch by text for a fortnight. He wasn’t at two yoga sessions and told me by text he had the flu and was bedridden.

Then we met for a coffee the weekend before last. He told me he really liked me but wasn’t yet ready for a new relationship and didn’t want to get hurt and didn’t want to lead me on into thinking he was “the one” and ending up in a break up that would also hurt me. He put it Very diplomatically but I was pretty crestfallen.

However, I can see things from his perspective and he very much wants to be a friend. He to,d me I am a kind, decent and smart person who is very interesting. So, I will keep in touch with him and maybe things will develop, maybe they won’t but he is a kind soul. We have a lot in common - so we do have compatibility on that front.

geekychick · 24-01-2018 11:20AM

Hi OP,

Just wanna say how much I enjoyed reading that update of yours. We all get rejected, some of us get rejected as romantic partners all the time, but to get rejected in such a considerate and mature manner - that is way less common!

If (and that would be a big IF for a lot of people!) you can stay friends with this guy without hurting yourself by nurturing unrequited feelings, I would urge you to do so. He sounds lovely.

I am usually the biggest egomaniac you could meet, but when it comes to this type of stuff, I find that the usual "bruised ego" thing doesn't get a look in - I have always enjoyed keeping some of my "failed" romances and "rejections" in my life as friends, quality people, and testament to the fact that the exclusivity of a romance is not the only kind of relationship you can have with people who you find attractive, intelligent or kind. The more of those surround you, the richer you are as a person and a friend.

However, a healthy detachment from, or a control of, our hormonal urges is needed for the above to be accomplished most successfully!

The best of luck with it all!

Falling in love with another man

Comments