Losing hope! Need advice.

boom_27

Hey guys two weeks ago I met a guy from grindr we've been chatting every single day. We organised to meet up for a coffee which is supposed to be today we planned this out about a week ago so I've been really looking forward to it really, but nope! He was like "Sorry I just came back in Dublin only now" he messaged me around 7pm we planned to meet up around 8pm and he promised he will going to collect me even. Our only point of contact is Grindr. I've been asking for his number but he was always making excuses like it's coming across to me that he really doesn't want to give it. I'm really upset and disappointed as he kept saying how interested he was of meeting me and that he couldn't wait. I also felt like I've been played and he just wasted my time.

Just wondering if there's any other way/app to meet a decent person and not another time waster outside of Grindr?

imme

Hi OP,
don't be too hard on yourself OP, and sorry your experiences didn't work out.

I think grinder is a nasty space, its not for me that's for sure. The style of is also something I don't want to go through again, what it purports to offer.

I had a thread up recently asking the same question as you OP

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=104650965

It didn't offer too many offers other than the usual suspects.

JackTaylorFan

Dating apps are horrible places, in general.

If you're seriously invested in finding someone and not just looking for a hook-up it becomes increasingly soul-destroying to keep putting yourself out there after being, in so many words, rejected.

To your question regarding other apps: are not Badoo, Tinder, OKC and PoF not all gay inclusive now?

Edit: I should add that changing the app on your phone won't really change the overall shallow culture behind causing your heartache. There seems to be a huge overlap of the same faces on whatever popular dating app you use

boom_27

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Dating apps are horrible places, in general.

If you're seriously invested in finding someone and not just looking for a hook-up it becomes increasingly soul-destroying to keep putting yourself out there after being, in so many words, rejected.

To your question regarding other apps: are not Badoo, Tinder, OKC and PoF not all gay inclusive now?

Edit: I should add that changing the app on your phone won't really change the overall shallow culture behind causing your heartache. There seems to be a huge overlap of the same faces on whatever popular dating app you use

I haven't tried gay bars as I wasn't comfortable going back then as I wasn't out. I just came out to my family recently and very fortunate to have a supportive family. Been itching to go and try gay bars, but haven't got anyone to go. I am foreign and my straight friends definitely wouldn't be interested going to such places.

JackTaylorFan

boom_27 wrote: »

I haven't tried gay bars as I wasn't comfortable going back then as I wasn't out. I just came out to my family recently and very fortunate to have a supportive family. Been itching to go and try gay bars, but haven't got anyone to go. I am foreign and my straight friends definitely wouldn't be interested going to such places.

Have you tried any LGBT groups on meetup.com?

boom_27

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Have you tried any LGBT groups on meetup.com?

Nope I'll have a look at it

wakka12

Well yeh, he's essentially a stranger. My advice would be to have no expectations on grindr, that way you won't be disappointed. I must say getting a big crush on this guy after like a week who won't even give you a number was recipe for disappointment Sorry though, I know how that must suck,

cgcsb

My advice would be to bury your heart a bit further away from your sleeve. I wouldn't spend a huge amount of time chatting to lads on grindr, if they don't want to meet up after the first minute or two of messages then they don't want to meet up full stop.