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Do You Hate Christmas And All The Fuss That Goes With It?

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    #182
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    The impact of the loss of a child is felt all year round, it has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.

    So you don’t accept that the loss of a child could be felt more keenly at Christmas? It is a very heavily child centered few weeks?


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    #183
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    To suggest that the loss of a child feels somehow "harder" at Christmas is to suggest that that loss feels easier at other times of the year and I can categorically tell you that that is definitely not the case ..........

    Understanding? You have no idea what you're talking about ........ Happy Christmas.

    I think you're putting words in people's mouth, here. No one's saying the loss of a child is 'easier' at other times of the year. They're just saying that for many people that ongoing pain can be probed more at Christmas time because of the emphasis on family, Christmasses past and an unrelenting forced 'nostalgia' and 'jollity'.

    Dara, I was so moved and sorry by your post earlier talking about your terminal illness. I hope you and your family have the Christmas you wish for this year.


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    #184
    Nettle Soup
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭Nettle Soup


    November is over folks, ye are allowed cheer up now. :)


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    #185
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I'm not made of stone and I believe in grieving after a loved one but I also believe in enjoying the stuff I used to in the past as well. We've lost family member over the years and we enjoy Weddings/Birthdays/Christmases again.
    I believe in remembering the good times and grieving after a loved one but I don't think it should put your life on hold for years.

    Finding Christmas a bit sad or difficult when a spouse, child, sibling or parent is no longer with you is not putting your life on hold for years.

    I enjoy Christmas but since my father died there is an edge of sadness to it as well. He's not sitting around the dinner table with us, I'm visiting his grave on Christmas morning instead of giving him a present, and so on.
    In the same way that the anniversary of his death will always feel sad, and his birthday, and hearing certain songs that remind me of him.
    And everyone who has lost someone very close will always, for the rest of their lives, carry a layer of grief inside them. It won't stop them from living their lives or enjoying things or making plans for the future, but it is there and certain days and occasions bring it up to the surface.

    If you don't understand that, then I don't think you can have yet lost someone very close to you.


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    #186
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,298 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »
    Finding Christmas a bit sad or difficult when a spouse, child, sibling or parent is no longer with you is not putting your life on hold for years.

    I enjoy Christmas but since my father died there is an edge of sadness to it as well. He's not sitting around the dinner table with us, I'm visiting his grave on Christmas morning instead of giving him a present, and so on.
    In the same way that the anniversary of his death will always feel sad, and his birthday, and hearing certain songs that remind me of him.
    And everyone who has lost someone very close will always, for the rest of their lives, carry a layer of grief inside them. It won't stop them from living their lives or enjoying things or making plans for the future, but it is there and certain days and occasions bring it up to the surface.

    I never said you can't be a sad at special occasions and remember them but I think it's un healthy never to enjoy a family event again your life.


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    #187
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,298 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »

    If you don't understand that, then I don't think you can have yet lost someone very close to you.

    I have lost uncles, relatives that I'd have being close and a grand mother that lived with me until I was nearly 17. So, I have lost people close to me but I still enjoy family stuff and happy times and I remember the people as well.


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    #188
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I have lost uncles, relatives that I'd have being close and a grand mother that lived with me until I was nearly 17. So, I have lost people close to me but I still enjoy family stuff and happy times and I remember the people as well.

    Come back on that when you've lost a parent or sibling or spouse or child. It's a totally different kind of grief so, with all due respect, you're not really in a position yet to understand how a bereavement can fundamentally change the way you view certain things in life.

    I'm not saying that losing a child is in anyway comparable to losing a parent or a sibling, by the way. I understand it's the worst bereavement of all.


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    #189
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,298 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »
    Come back on that when you've lost a parent or sibling or spouse or child. It's a totally different kind of grief so, with all due respect, you're not really in a position yet to understand how a bereavement can fundamentally change the way you view certain things in life.

    I'm not saying that losing a child is in anyway comparable to losing a parent or a sibling, by the way. I understand it's the worst bereavement of all.

    I was extremely close to my grandmother much closer to her than some of the people you mentioned above. So, don't give me the line oh come back to me when you'd experienced grief.
    I deal with grief in the way I was raised.t. It's how my parents/etc were raised and I'm also now. You have your way and I have mine of dealing with it.


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    #190
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I was extremely close to my grandmother much closer to her than some of the people you mentioned above. So, don't give me the line oh come back to me when you'd experienced grief.
    I deal with grief in the way I was raised.t. It's how my parents/etc were raised and I'm also now. You have your way and I have mine of dealing with it.[/QUOTE]


    Exactly, but you are taking the line that other people's way of dealing with grief, or viewing Christmas after a significant bereavement is akin to them being a killjoy and ruining Christmas for other people. You are basing this on the fact that you've lost your grandmother (who I quite understand was a close member of your family) and can't understand why others, who have lost equally and closer family members, often in a tragic or untimely way, can't just get on with it and go back to enjoying Christmas the way they used to.


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    #191
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Plus, there is a sense of natural order in someone elderly dying that attenuates the grief a bit generally.


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    #192
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,298 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »
    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    I was extremely close to my grandmother much closer to her than some of the people you mentioned above. So, don't give me the line oh come back to me when you'd experienced grief.
    I deal with grief in the way I was raised.t. It's how my parents/etc were raised and I'm also now. You have your way and I have mine of dealing with it.[/QUOTE]


    Exactly, but you are taking the line that other people's way of dealing with grief, or viewing Christmas after a significant bereavement is akin to them being a killjoy and ruining Christmas for other people. You are basing this on the fact that you've lost your grandmother (who I quite understand was a close member of your family) and can't understand why others, who have lost equally and closer family members, often in a tragic or untimely way, can't just get on with it and go back to enjoying Christmas the way they used to.


    I have no issue with people dealing with grief at Christmas and I get they can be upset. If I was in that position tough I wouldn't call around to relatives and bring the mood down or moan about Christmas the whole time.
    My issue is people not liking Christmas and no matter what you do for them they are not happy. I gave a good detailed post earlier in the thread.They should simply admit they don't like it!


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    #193
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »

    Dara, I was so moved and sorry by your post earlier talking about your terminal illness. I hope you and your family have the Christmas you wish for this year.

    Thanks! :) Currently treatment is going well and I feel pretty good (actually going to the gym three times a week at the moment). When I was diagnosed, doctors were doubtful I'd see Christmas that year because I was in a bad way. This coming Christmas is my third post diagnosis and, to be honest, I'll be very unlucky to not get Christmas 2018 as well and beyond! :)

    It was hard to enjoy the first post-diagnosis Christmas because it felt like there was so much riding on it as we thought it would be my last but we relaxed for the one after that and this year will be the same.


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    #194
    donegaLroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭donegaLroad


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    What city are you in?
    I found the lights were switched on a few days later this year than last year.

    I am in a sprawling metropolis in mid Donegal.. lights went on 19th November. I was in a shop today and for the first time ever, I felt myself getting angry at the piped Xmas music with the ******* sleigh bells and chimes.. I don't know how I'm going to put up with another 5 weeks of it. When I was young this malarkey didn't really start until mid December.


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    #195
    PTH2009
    Registered Users Posts: 37,912 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    I do like Xmas but can be a sad time too as people will be always missing from the table on Xmas day.

    I'm a sucker for Xmas songs even in though most are rubbish.

    https://youtu.be/2Zy-qnSi3zE

    I knw this is not an Xmas song but it was recorded at an Xmas Carol service in 2014 and that was a horrible Xmas for me, first without my mother, nanny was in hospital and near her end, work relations were at an all time low, was working barely any hours and was in a physical and mental mess but thankfully I'm sorted in a sense now but not 100% yet but In a much much better place


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    #196
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,962 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    The other day in the office we were joking about people who don't like Christmas and I said I was one of them, so someone said "you've got Grinchitis". I thought that was hilarious, since "-itis" means Inflammation, so ... I have Inflammation of the Grinch? Yes, I'm a horrible person for pointing that out ... I think I need a Grinchectomy. :o

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



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    #197
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    Hector Some Chemist wrote: »


    I have no issue with people dealing with grief at Christmas and I get they can be upset. If I was in that position tough I wouldn't call around to relatives and bring the mood down or moan about Christmas the whole time.
    My issue is people not liking Christmas and no matter what you do for them they are not happy. I gave a good detailed post earlier in the thread.They should simply admit they don't like it!

    The further issue is that in nearly every family there is at least one person who finds Christmas very difficult for perhaps multiple reasons. This person often verbalises a desire to be left alone over Christmas (I’m thinking of my own father in law) but because human nature is what it is the rest of the family feel guilty and insist he joins in.
    Despite being told that he’s not expected to be cheerful, you will hear mumbled complaints about him being a misery .


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    #198
    Steve F
    Registered Users Posts: 1,852 ✭✭✭Steve F


    Itssoeasy wrote: »
    I don't hate Christmas but as the years have gone on it's become harder to enjoy it because of people who aren't here like my grandparents.

    I'm not a person who does well in crowded social settings at the best of times and Christmas seems to be all about if you let it which makes it far worse. Also being single and in my thirties and most of my cousins and family either married or have kids or both means they seem to far more excited for it.

    See above in bold..That's me too :(


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    #199
    PeterParker957
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭PeterParker957


    Love the 9 days off work and going to Midnight Mass - the rest of it, not so much.


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    #200
    h7nlrp2v0g5u48
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,544 ✭✭✭h7nlrp2v0g5u48


    PeterParker957 wrote: »
    Love the 9 days off work and going to Midnight Mass - the rest of it, not so much.

    I too love going to Midnight Mass with my family It's the one time of year where we all go to the same mass as a family and apart from that I enjoy the whole atmosphere where people gather together to celebrate the birth of our Lord.


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    #201
    Pithythefool
    Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭Pithythefool


    natashaob6 wrote: »
    I was wondering if there were many posters out there who hate Christmas and all the fuss and expenditure that goes with it? I'm sort of old school and liked the old traditional Christmas where I would make home decorations with my brothers and sisters for the Christmas tree go to midnight mass with my family and go on the wren the next day to make some pocket money. I just feel all does old traditions have died away over the past twenty years due to the commercial interests of big companies and Christmas starting on the 1st of November as soon as Halloweenn is over. So what do you think am I the Grinch or do you agree?

    I just made a post in the "united Ireland?" thread I created, basically sums up a lot of what youre saying here.

    What was once a genuine tradition has been hijacked commercially, and the tradition itself is slowly being subsumed. An erosion of culture that benefits entities making money.

    The psychological effect is bad overall, because not only are you losing a good thing, it is being replaced by a bad thing instead.

    Happy "x-mas"......gimme a break!


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    #202
    Wheeliebin30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,593 ✭✭✭Wheeliebin30


    Where a strange country.

    We spend the most on Christmas in Europe yet all we hear is a rise in child poverty, wealth gap, people living on scraps blah blah.


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    #203
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,041 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    The only thing I hate about Christmas is the constant talk about the office party. I see enough of the bastids in work, but that's a matter for another thread. :D
    WhiteRoses wrote: »
    This is my first year living with my boyfriend, but we'll both be going to spend Christmas Eve/Day with our respective families. However, he hates Christmas and doesn't even want to buy a tree for our place. It makes me so sad :(
    Beanntraigheach wrote: »
    On Christmas Eve, at the stroke of midnight, he shall be visited by three ghosts....

    If she was any sort of a decent girlfriend she would be doing the stroking for him.


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    #204
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Wheeliebin30 wrote: »
    Where a strange country.

    We spend the most on Christmas in Europe get all we hear is a rise in child poverty, wealth gap, people living on scraps blah blah.

    3rd world country, barely making ends meet, fuel poverty, children going to school hungry, children going to bed cold, sleeping in the car, on and on and on.


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    #205
    imme
    Registered Users Posts: 3,200 ✭✭✭imme


    It is a whole load of business,

    October to the start of January.

    But at the start of it it is an incredible story, a seemingly simple yet magnificent one


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    #206
    irish bloke
    Registered Users Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭irish bloke


    Christmas is great. Best time of the year. More cheese please....


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    #207
    backspin.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    Put up your trees and eat your turkey and stop being contrary


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    #208
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    Yes, I totally agree with you but you shouldn't want to make everybody else miserable in my opinion!

    It’s quite the opposite as far as I can see. If someone doesn’t want to go on a Christmas night out, or doesn’t want to wear a stupid “funny” jumper, or doesn’t want to do Christmassy things they get ganged up on and called Grinch etc.


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    #209
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,298 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    It’s quite the opposite as far as I can see. If someone doesn’t want to go on a Christmas night out, or doesn’t want to wear a stupid “funny” jumper, or doesn’t want to do Christmassy things they get ganged up on and called Grinch etc.

    If I am in a bad mood at no matter what time of the year and I'm invited somewhere I don't want to go I simply say I'd love to go but I have other plans.
    I don't go to an event and then have a puss on my face for the evening. It's just what I do.


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    #210
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    If I am in a bad mood at no matter what time of the year and I'm invited somewhere I don't want to go I simply say I'd love to go but I have other plans.
    I don't go to an event and then have a puss on my face for the evening. It's just what I do.

    You seem the perfect specimen. Do you give lessons/have a newsletter/podcast??


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    #211
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    A man wearing imitation Reindeer antlers was assaulted in my local over the wkend.

    They don't really tolerate Christmas antics in this establishment. Any '12 pub' revelers for instance are banned. There was also another incident on xmas eve a couple of years back where a man was floored. He had been wearing a santa hat wrapped in tinsel.


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