The increase in incidence of small penis' will cause a downturn in childbirth

Hammer89

I'm not saying that Irish men's willies are getting smaller, because that would be stupid, but we know for a fact that young men's bodies are getting bigger.

What happens when you gain lots of weight, to the point of morbid obesity, is that you gain it everywhere: face, chest, gut, calves, thighs and, of course, the pubic region. Regardless of body type, you will store some fat in this area. For some it might be minimal, shaving off less than an inch, but others can have the majority of their penis engulfed in a fat pad which buries their goods.

This is the little-known and little-spoken about consequence of mass weight gain and over time and it can and will have a devastating effect on our men. I know this because I used to be obese and mine looked like a cocktail sausage poking out of an afro, and it used to be a source of monumental insecurity.

Thankfully, losing weight will correct the issue, and the inches you lose to obesity will be rediscovered by shedding the stones, and I went through a phase of shagging anything I could find to make up for lost time.

But an increasing number of men are going to be afflicted with the same insecurity, the same shame, the same sadness as I felt for quite a long time, and simply put their sex life will take a turn for the worst. It's inevitable. And if a growing number of Irish men stop having sex, what happens? We stop making as many babies.

If I was the Taioseach, or the Minister of Health, I'd round up 20 obese men and ask if they'd be willing to stand naked on a stage in a school hall in front of the parents of children who attend that school. I'm not even joking. These parents need a serious jolt to the system and that is certainly an effective method of achieving it.

We waste so much f*cking time scaring the parents of obese children with words like diabetes and heart disease. Yeah, they know. What they don't know is that little Timmy's cock will look like a peanut before long and it's going to have a devastating impact on his confidence, his self-esteem, his psychological state, his ability to form and maintain intimate relationships, his entire f*cking future. And they need to know.

They also need to know that little Timmy won't even tell them about their concerns in that department because of the shame. He won't tell his parents, his friends, other family members. I saw a therapist for years and that's the one thing I didn't tell him, becaus some things are just too painful. As I said, I've rediscovered the inches I thought were forever lost, but my heart bleeds for those who haven't because it's such a lonely suffering. Yet, this obesity issue is only breeding more and more lonely young souls who will, for a fact, be afflicted with this.

Obesity spawns so, so many sub-issues, physical and mental, and Ireland is going to hell in a handbasket unless the powers that be wise up.

Allinall

It's a bank holiday Monday .

Chill out to ****.

RobertKK

I guess nature doesn't like fat people, makes it harder for women to get pregnant and men to have a penis...

Hande hoche!

Helps deal with over population. Mother nature's revenge.

Hammer89

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Helps deal with over population. Mother nature's revenge.

I'm talking under population in the future.

Mr.Crinklewood

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Helps deal with over population. Mother nature's revenge.

I find your comment sexist.

I will give further information at the launch if my blog.

Hande hoche!

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

I find your comment sexist.

I will give further information at the launch if my blog.

Good stuff. Don't forget to get a trending hashtag.

Rumpy Pumpy

I know a lad who admits to being inadequately hung. He’s also well on his way to becoming obese, as he’s hopelessly addicted to corn-based snacks and fanta. Could it disappear into him completely? Or be like a little purple acorn peering out from a thick nest of greasy pubes?

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

They also need to know that little Timmy won't even tell them about their concerns in that department because of the shame.

I don't ever want to have that conversation if I'm honest :pac:

Hammer89

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

I know a lad who admits to being inadequately hung. He’s also well on his way to becoming obese, as he’s hopelessly addicted to corn-based snacks and fanta. Could it disappear into him completely? Or be like a little purple acorn peering out from a thick nest of greasy pubes?

If he's naturally quite small in that area then yes, obesity could severely exacerbate the problem. But if he's already overweight or obese then perhaps there's simply a bit of a fat pad which conceals a lot of his knob.

Rumpy Pumpy

Hammer89 wrote: »

If he's naturally quite small in that area then yes, obesity could severely exacerbate the problem. But if he's already overweight or obese then perhaps there's simply a bit of a fat pad which conceals a lot of his knob.

I certainly won’t be asking to have a look at it. His face is hideous enough.

Mr.Crinklewood

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Good stuff. Don't forget to get a trending hashtag.

I find your comment condescending.

spurious

It only takes one swimmer though, whether it's from a fat little launcher or not.

Hammer89

spurious wrote: »

It only takes one swimmer though, whether it's from a fat little launcher or not.

You're right but the question is are men going to feel comfortable enough to get their mickey out in front of a woman if a lot of it is concealed?

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

I certainly won’t be asking to have a look at it. His face is hideous enough.

Again, a fat face might be hiding his potential. He might be an absolute ride. When I lost weight, shop owners had to get the sandbags out if I walked through a small town.

suicide_circus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33Gboad2Hzs

jonon9

branie2

Size doesn't matter

LadyMacBeth_

I fancy some chunky men!

Hammer89

branie2 wrote: »

Size doesn't matter

Tell that to a man with a perceived one-inch thumper,

corner of hells

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I fancy some chunky men!

OPs trying to have a serious discussio..... how chunky ?

LadyMacBeth_

corner of hells wrote: »

OPs trying to have a serious discussio..... how chunky ?

Yeah a serious conversation about d1cks!

Well that depends, can you still find your d1ck?

corner of hells

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

corner of hells wrote: »

OPs trying to have a serious discussio..... how chunky ?

Yeah a serious conversation about d1cks!

Well that depends, can you still find your d1ck?

Yessum.

Hammer89

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Yeah a serious conversation about d1cks!

I'm well aware of how silly and flippant this topic seems, based on the fact it's about penis size, but I promise it's a really serious and really dark issue.

Victor

Hammer89 wrote: »

The increase in incidence of small penis' will cause a downturn in childbirth

The predominant factor in population replacement is the number of women of child-bearing age, not the number of men capable of reproducing.

Hammer89

Victor wrote: »

The predominant factor in population replacement is the number of women of child-bearing age, not the number of men capable of reproducing.

The men's capability to reproduce isn't in question. Well I think obesity might lower sperm count, but what I'm really getting at is whether the next generation of men will be comfortable enough with their bodies and penis size to form emotional and intimate relationships with the opposite sex.

We know that boys who are overweight or obese now are likely to develop into obese adults and I think a lot of them will be severely damaged by the age of which they're expected to marry and start families.

Wibbs

Beyond diabetes and joint issues and heart disease etc, obesity decreases levels of testosterone in men and doesn't do much for sperm counts. Hidden mickey syndrome is the least of it. Decreasing the hormone that is pretty much responsible for making you a man is not good at all. Testosterone levels have been decreasing over the last 30 years in the west, so much so that the medical definition for low testosterone has been ever lowered, because the average has shifted down. And lower testosterone means more fat build up, reduction in lean tissue(and bone density) and has adverse affects on mental health(among all sorts of issues), so it's a vicious circle.

There's some debate whether it's a chicken and egg thing going on. IE are men becoming fatter(and men outnumber women in the obesity stakes) because of a drop in testosterone because of environmental changes, or are men becoming fatter because of environmental changes and testosterone is dropping accordingly. Personally I'd reckon it's a little from column A and a little from column B. There are various chemicals in our environment in food and the like that are known hormone disrupters. Plastics being a biggy. Perfumes and soap products(parabems(sp?)). Others could be more local changes to diet, e.g. more soya/MSG products(another known hormone influencer. EG Some asian population's women report much lesser menopausal symptoms because of soy in their diet) in the western diet and one westerners can't accommodate(Asians have been ingesting it for over two thousand years and eat smaller amounts).

bear1

Wtf have I just read.

AMKC

The solution is simple don,t eat crap and don,t get fat.
There is to many people on the planet already and too many having babies so I see no harm in less babies been born wherever it is in the world.

Ipso

This is a bit premature.

Hammer89

AMKC wrote: »

The solution is simple don,t eat crap and don,t get fat.

Well I happen to think young lads would be a lot more mindful about what they put into their body if they knew that the penalty for obesity is a small willy. That might be the biggest deterrent possible, but they have no idea and that's a problem.

Martina1991

Hammer89 wrote: »

what I'm really getting at is whether the next generation of men will be comfortable enough with their bodies and penis size to form emotional and intimate relationships with the opposite sex.

We know that boys who are overweight or obese now are likely to develop into obese adults and I think a lot of them will be severely damaged by the age of which they're expected to marry and start families.

I don't mean to sound cold or callous about this but: Survival of the fittest.

Those that are obese are at an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease among other things. We know that.

If obese men do not attract women to reproduce with then so be it. They are not passing on those lifestyle and genetic risks to their children.

Obese men (and women) should therefore make the effort to live healthier lives for themselves and future generations.

donegaLroad

Two large bags of junk arrived into this house tonight after trick or treating, and I'm going to put them out of sight now that the kids are asleep. Otherwise the stuff would be eaten before the week is over.

Diabetes, obesity, and everything that goes with it is on a major increase, Halloween used to be about apples and nuts when I was a kid.

Hammer89

Martina1991 wrote: »

If obese men do not attract women to reproduce with then so be it. They are not passing on those lifestyle and genetic risks to their children.

This is in the territory of saying, 'obese people shouldn't have children'.

Martina1991

I never said they shouldn't.
I'm saying obese people may find it harder to attract a partner and may impact their ability to have children.

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

This is in the territory of saying, 'obese people shouldn't have children'.

If you take it in the context of the rest of the post though -

Martina1991 wrote: »

I don't mean to sound cold or callous about this but: Survival of the fittest.

Those that are obese are at an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease among other things. We know that.

If obese men do not attract women to reproduce with then so be it. They are not passing on those lifestyle and genetic risks to their children.

Obese men (and women) should therefore make the effort to live healthier lives for themselves and future generations.

It's actually a hell of a lot more sensible and practical advice than encouraging young boys to base their self-worth on the size of their penis!

I thought you surely had to be taking the piss with an opening post like that, and I'm not sure you still aren't just taking the piss.

Donald Trump

Hammer89 wrote: »

If I was the Taioseach, or the Minister of Health, I'd round up 20 obese men and ask if they'd be willing to stand naked on a stage in a school hall in front of the parents of children who attend that school. I'm not even joking. These parents need a serious jolt to the system and that is certainly an effective method of achieving it.

Lookit, Br. Murphy. How many times do we have to tell you that those days are gone and you can't get away with that sort of craic any more

Hammer89

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If you take it in the context of the rest of the post though

It's actually a hell of a lot more sensible and practical advice than encouraging young boys to base their self-worth on the size of their penis!

I thought you surely had to be taking the piss with an opening post like that, and I'm not sure you still aren't just taking the piss.

Why would I take the piss? It's an issue close to my heart.

I'm not encouraging young boys to base their self-worth on penis size. In fact, I don't need to because they have and will continue to do that regardless.

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

Why would I take the piss? It's an issue close to my heart.

I'm not encouraging young boys to base their self-worth on penis size. In fact, I don't need to because they have and will continue to do that regardless.

Because this is After Hours and you were suggesting that the way to tackle potential obesity in young boys is to make them self-conscious about the size of their penis?

I don't see anything to be gained from encouraging young boys to believe that their self-worth revolves around their penis, let alone how you managed to link that to women thinking a relationship should revolve around a mans penis, or indeed that having children still revolves around a mans penis.

Your opening post was just so bizarre that I don't even worry about it contributing to the rising numbers of young boys and men with eating disorders trying to conform to the pressures placed upon them by the imagery they're presented with in popular culture. I just couldn't take it seriously, and I wouldn't expect any parent to take it seriously either.

the2kwans

You are only addressing mens obesity and its effect on reproduction. What about the obese and overweight women? This surely must have a negative effect on reproduction. The problem is across 2 sectors, not just the one.

Hammer89

the2kwans wrote: »

You are only addressing mens obesity and its effect on reproduction. What about the obese and overweight women? This surely must have a negative effect on reproduction. The problem is across 2 sectors, not just the one.

You're right, but I've never been an obese woman so I'm far less reluctant to talk about things from their perspective.

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Because this is After Hours and you were suggesting that the way to tackle potential obesity in young boys is to make them self-conscious about the size of their penis?

I don't see anything to be gained from encouraging young boys to believe that their self-worth revolves around their penis, let alone how you managed to link that to women thinking a relationship should revolve around a mans penis, or indeed that having children still revolves around a mans penis.

Your opening post was just so bizarre that I don't even worry about it contributing to the rising numbers of young boys and men with eating disorders trying to conform to the pressures placed upon them by the imagery they're presented with in popular culture. I just couldn't take it seriously, and I wouldn't expect any parent to take it seriously either.

Is this your tactic or something? Just make up a bunch of sh*t? Either that or you horrendously missed the point. I have no idea what you're on about.

One of the things I'm saying if mothers and fathers in this country knew the real repercussions of mass weight gain, they, as the gatekeepers of their children's eating habits, would be far more mindful over what their kids are eating.

Having the appearance of a small penis, brought on by obesity and storing fat in the pubic region, can and does have a detrimental social and psychological affect on young boys. But I'm suddenly suggesting that young obese males should be penis shamed, just for bringing up the issue? Okay pal.

highdef

A fat man is generally going to be less attractive to a woman. So in theory, a fat man is likely to conceive a child than a healthy weight man... As someone said already, survival of the fittest. It's best not to pass on these bad traits.

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

Is this your tactic or something? Just make up a bunch of sh*t? Either that or you horrendously missed the point. I have no idea what you're on about.

If you're going to go there, how realistic do you think your suggestion that we ask 20 obese men to stand up naked on a stage in front of parents?

One of the things I'm saying if mothers and fathers in this country knew the real repercussions of mass weight gain, they, as the gatekeepers of their children's eating habits, would be far more mindful over what their kids are eating.

Why do you assume they aren't aware of it? I'd be more concerned about my child's physical and mental health than the size of his penis, and that's why I laughed off the idea of ever having that conversation with him. It just wouldn't happen.

Having the appearance of a small penis, brought on by obesity and storing fat in the pubic region, can and does have a detrimental social and psychological affect on young boys. But I'm suddenly suggesting that young obese males should be penis shamed, just for bringing up the issue? Okay pal.

Well you can call it what you like, but according to you men are already self-conscious about the size of their penis. I can't say I ever was tbh. I know what you mean and all, but can't they then if they feel the same way you did, lose the weight, the same way you did?

Avatar MIA

So, can we take it as given that this particular issue will have zero effect on future population?

It quite possibly will reduce those predisposed to obesity from furthering the gene pool. Therefore, a good thing.

Haz I got it right?

traveller0101

Martina1991 wrote: »

I don't mean to sound cold or callous about this but: Survival of the fittest.

Those that are obese are at an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease among other things. We know that.

If obese men do not attract women to reproduce with then so be it. They are not passing on those lifestyle and genetic risks to their children.

Obese men (and women) should therefore make the effort to live healthier lives for themselves and future generations.

Who passed that lifestyle and genetic risks on to them?

LadyMacBeth_

Jaysus, you'd swear us chubsters were lepers, never stopped me getting laid.

Hammer89

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If you're going to go there, how realistic do you think your suggestion that we ask 20 obese men to stand up naked on a stage in front of parents?

Don't confuse realism for effectiveness to be fair. I never said it was realistic but I do believe it would be a hell of a lot more effective. In fact I'm certain it would. I think we need to switch up our tactics personally because parents, for whatever reason, don't heed the health warnings. They clearly don't care about what might happen, so they need to be shown, not told, what will happen. Realistic? Of course not, but parents would leave that school hall with a much bigger moral dilemma than had some doctor told them about diabetes and heart disease for an hour and a half. I'm certain.

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Why do you assume they aren't aware of it? I'd be more concerned about my child's physical and mental health than the size of his penis, and that's why I laughed off the idea of ever having that conversation with him. It just wouldn't happen.

If he's obese then the size of his penis and mental health could be completely interlinked!

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Well you can call it what you like, but according to you men are already self-conscious about the size of their penis. I can't say I ever was tbh. I know what you mean and all, but can't they then if they feel the same way you did, lose the weight, the same way you did?

I didn't say men are self conscious about their penis - I said obese men and obese lads are, in all probability, because you don't gain massive amounts of weight without a lot of it going in the pubic region, concealing a large amount of the penis - if not the entire thing. They can lose weight and rediscover it, but they might not know that and who's to blame them? A huge motivational factor is being denied them because nobody speaks about this subject. It's really quite taboo.

Martina1991

traveller0101 wrote:

Who passed that lifestyle and genetic risks on to them?

Well lifestyle choices aren't genetic.

I'd say the majority of people that are overweight are due to their diet than genetics.

Avatar MIA

Martina1991 wrote: »

Well lifestyle choices aren't genetic.

I'd say the majority of people that are overweight are due to their diet than genetics.

Are you sure there's no connection? What about addictive personalities, metabolisms ?!?

Hammer89

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Jaysus, you'd swear us chubsters were lepers, never stopped me getting laid.

Women can get sex easier than men. And the aesthetic quality of a vagina won't diminish a great deal with mass weight gain. The vagina itself will look the same whether you're a size zero or size 25. Women get fatty pubic areas too, but would they be as self-conscious over that as an obese man with a very small penis? I'm not a woman so I don't know.

Hector Bellend

exceptionally large penis to this story

Hammer89

Hector Bellend wrote: »

exceptionally large penis to this story

Am I the large penis you're referring to? Maybe I'm totally wrong. I'm open-minded enough to consider that. I just think there's a lot of things we could be doing better.

I think you have to question just how committed our government is to tackling this epidemic when we insist on telling parents about the possibilities - like heart disease and diabetes - instead of drilling into them the probabilities and inevitabilities.

But we don't, and that's a problem. We have those idiots at SafeFood pulling the same stupid ideas out of their arse during the focus groups for the next ad, relying on the same tactic as before but in a re-modelled way.

"What if, we show a young girl reaching for a packet of crisps, and when the camera pans back on her she's five years older and five stone heavier?"
"That's outstanding, Rory. Top notch. It would illustrate to parents just how quickly obesity can occur. Can anyone better Rory's idea?"
"No but I also think we could mention diabetes again."
"Good idea, Sharon. We've only mentioned it six times in the first 35 seconds."
"Yes great idea Sharon, but instead of mentioning it, why don't we have it written across the screen, in big white writing for emphasis."
"We don't deserve you, Rory. We really don't. Bravo sir."
"Thanks Alan. Parents won't know what hit them this time. I can sense it."
"You're right. Alright team I think that's it for......"
"Hold on I think..........yeah I've just had another one."
"Alright Rory go on."
"Picture the scene: a young boy wants to put a bumper packet of crisps in the shopping trolley. The dad looks up to the ceiling as if to say, 'Ah go on then ye little scamp'. But when the camera pans back on him, he's five years older and five stone heavier."
"That's literally the same idea Rory......but I love it. Right, that's lunch gang. Lunch is on Rory because something tells me he's getting a pay rise. Someone get on the phone to that Northern Irish voiceover guy. I think we're ready to film it."
"Okay. I'll write up a script.
"No need there, Sharon. We'll just use the same one as last year."

According to Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Sort it out Ireland. Sort it the f*ck out.