Do you think you have been the victim of sexual assault?

Galwayguy35

If the mods feel this thread is inappropriate feel free to close it down but I thought it might be a an idea to have a thread where men can talk about this if they feel they want to.

I remember years ago having my crotch grabbed by a woman in a nightclub but to be honest I thought nothing of it at the time.

Something that always sticks out in my mind was being held down by 2 fellas I worked with on the way home from the pub, they pulled off my jeans and underwear as a joke and although nothing was done to me I remember feeling real fear of what might happen at the time.

Wibbs

Nope. Some drunk slapper pinching my arse in a pub I don't particularly brand as assault. The threat is minimal. At worst a momentary irritation. The workmates ripping off your trousers as a "joke" more a grey area and the threat is higher. That sorta blokish rough housing is more frowned upon and I would agree, but sexual assault? Nope. That's just me and my opinion of course, YMMV.

Da Regulator

Another man forcing himself on me and trying to kiss me in the Barge Pub Dublin. I'd say I might have exchanged a sentence or two with this guy before he launched into me. I turned and he got my cheek. But that didn't stop him trying again. I told him where to go and he got very aggressive and called me a homophobe.

To be honest I forgot about it and didn't feel the need to write an Una Mullally style article about my experience.

beefburrito

Great fodder for the feminst movement....

Anyhow over the years I had the odd pinch,slap on the ass and tactile ladies being touchy feely....

A gay guy in work slapped my arse one day lol I actually thought it was funny....
It was done with a shovel, just a bit of messing...

These are minor things,I have no intentions of RUINING RUINING some ladies or man's life over something simple and quite harmless....

Had another lady who I shared a bed with one night,in my mind it was two grown ups sharing a bed, we fell asleep after a chat and a giggle...
Anyhow I woke up at around 5am to her giving me a reach around and feeling my bellend....she spooned right into me....
We woke up later and she was quite embarrassed,I said nothing

Can you feminist's hear me "I'VE NO REASON TO RUIN SOMEONE'S LIFE OVER A BIT OF HARMLESS PHYSICAL Banter or someone maybe doing something in their sleep, unbeknownst to themselves...

HalloweenJack

In relation to the "Me too" stuff, I've had my arse grabbed a few times in nightclubs but that's about it. Whenever it happens, it's just a momentary shock but I'd forget about it and not think twice about it.

The most upsetting thing I can think of was a drunk guy who told me that he'd like to rape me as I walked past him on the way to the bar. That was ****ed up and it did make me nervous for a while after (as in the next hour or so), though I was with my GF and other friends so I didn't feel any real danger.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Going by the latest definitions (such as the #metoo campaign) of sexual assault then yes. Have been pinched and slapped on the arse by drunk women in bars.

In reality I just consider it at worst a nuisance and would categorise it as very serious.

ass pinched, sure. Crotch grabbed painfully, yup. Sexual assault, no. I have felt powerless to stop a few enthusiastic/persistent drunk women, but thankfully female friends were nearby to intervene. I tend to steer clear of 'hen parties' and so there's very little of that stuff happening.

iptba

A lack of examples of "serious" sexual assault posted to this thread won't necessarily prove much. People could be reluctant to talk about some such experiences.

...And Justice

I have said my piece in the AH thread, I think this #mee too bull has gone too far. It's aimed at men primarily from a feminist point of view. I take the opinion now that I don't talk to females under 30 in my workplace in case they accuse me of "sexual violence " when I ask them do they want sugar in their coffee.

iptba

iptba wrote: »

A lack of examples of "serious" sexual assault posted to this thread won't necessarily prove much. People could be reluctant to talk about some such experiences.

What is sexual assault for a man? Is it the same as for a woman?

I honestly don't know.

EPAndlee

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What is sexual assault for a man? Is it the same as for a woman?

I honestly don't know.

I think that if a woman sees grabbing her arse as sexual assault then it's the same for a man

I love Sean nos

Was working in a nightclub in my late teens as a student and I remember one particular night. Every time I passed these two ladies (I was collecting glasses), they would grab my crotch or arse, sometimes both. It was funny the first couple of times, but then it became a chore. I remember then avoiding that section of the club until the lights came on.

And then there are the unwanted hen party shenanigans, but everyone gets those.

Nothing I would class as assault or report.

EPAndlee

EPAndlee wrote: »

I think that if a woman sees grabbing her arse as sexual assault then it's the same for a man

fair enough. So, basically whatever women claim as sexual assault should be a measure for sexual assault towards a man?

...And Justice

[Deleted User] wrote: »

fair enough. So, basically whatever women claim as sexual assault should be a measure for sexual assault towards a man?

Nope if I was single and a woman got me into bed an peared my cóck down to a butt of a pencil, would I think it's sexual violence? No I have had those encounters in my teens and 20's. You can't say boo to a woman now for fear of being a sexual preditor.

EPAndlee

[Deleted User] wrote: »

fair enough. So, basically whatever women claim as sexual assault should be a measure for sexual assault towards a man?

Yeah sure aren't we all equal. Do men really care about being touched or grabbed by a random woman

EPAndlee

EPAndlee wrote: »

Yeah sure aren't we all equal. Do men really care about being touched or grabbed by a random woman

Actually, yes. Honestly, it's more of an annoyance than a threat, although I have had women throw public tantrums when I rebuffed their advances. Not because I was hot (which I'm definitely not ), simply because they felt they were, and how dare I refuse them.

Being touched isn't so much of an issue for me, although grabbing at my privates can be painful. However, putting me in a bad position like her partner (male or female) getting jealous at her behavior is an issue, which can lead to other problems.

EPAndlee

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Actually, yes. Honestly, it's more of an annoyance than a threat, although I have had women throw public tantrums when I rebuffed their advances. Not because I was hot (which I'm definitely not ), simply because they felt they were, and how dare I refuse them.

Being touched isn't so much of an issue for me, although grabbing at my privates can be painful. However, putting me in a bad position like her partner (male or female) getting jealous at her behavior is an issue, which can lead to other problems.

I can't relate to this because at this stage I couldn't even pay a woman to touch me

0ph0rce0

...And Justice wrote: »

I have said my piece in the AH thread, I think this #mee too bull has gone too far. It's aimed at men primarily from a feminist point of view. I take the opinion now that I don't talk to females under 30 in my workplace in case they accuse me of "sexual violence " when I ask them do they want sugar in their coffee.

Last year we had a new girl start, She didn't know anyone there as she just started on the Monday.

Come friday in the canteen one of the lads asked her had she any plans for the weekend, as you do just a bit of chat.

She went straight to HR and started claiming sexual harassment. He was shocked, poor ****er didn't know what to do.

They sacked her after a few weeks

...And Justice

...And Justice wrote: »

Nope if I was single and a woman got me into bed an peared my cóck down to a butt of a pencil, would I think it's sexual violence? No I have had those encounters in my teens and 20's.

Then we're different. I'm not a sex-starved gender stereotype. I haven't been that desperate for sex since I was a teenager. While I'm not waiting for love before sex, I'm certainly waiting for some worthwhile memory to go along with it.

You can't say boo to a woman now for fear of being a sexual preditor.

Honestly, I don't really know what it's like in Ireland. I've been back living here for a few months, went on a few lackluster dates I met online, a few women I met around town and nothing much has happened. I haven't been treated like a sexual predator. But then I haven't really been pursuing dating here, and I'm living in the Midlands rather than one of the larger population centers.

EPAndlee

EPAndlee wrote: »

I can't relate to this because at this stage I couldn't even pay a woman to touch me

That seems odd... I've found there are matches for all types of people/appearances. But, hey, your call. Your life.

Peanut2011

Not that I would class any of this as an assault but years ago working doors you used to have an add one at the end of the night trying all sorts, pretty much what has been mentioned already.

However, the worse one so far was Take That concer in Croker... All mid thirty women in groups of them. My arsenal was black and blue from the pinching. And most of the other lads had the same issue.....

Again, never considered any of that an assault.

Balmed Out

Plenty of ass pinching and other groping which wouldn't really bother me but the worst was from 17 to 20 working as a glass collector in a hotel function room. Catered mainly for groups and associations rather then weddings.
Gangs of women from the ages or 35 - 55 were the worst and made us very uncomfortable. You would be holding glasses and unable to stop them as they took pictures of grabbing your groin etc etc. They weren't doing it in the same way a dirty old male perv would but as a sort of competitive one up man-ship kind of thing, every day going into work hairs would stand up on my neck and the thought of work was depressing. Hated it.

Dadzilla

While many men wouldn't consider someone pinching our rears as assault, it is sexual harassment. I was groped by a woman in a bar in Kilkenny once. She was the hen getting married. She did it to a couple of guys. While it was clearly quite easy for me to walk away, it was highly inappropriate and to be fair, unwelcome.

Another time in a nightclub when I was younger, 2 girls grabbed me and tried to rip my shirt open (bursting buttons). Sure it wasn't sexual assault but given the bouncers were nowhere to be seen, I had to force the girls off me. I just used the necessary forcing them off me so that I could get away but I was terrified that they might claim I assaulted them! I immediately reported it to 2 bouncers, neither of them did nothing and found it quite amusing.

My life wasn't in danger is either circumstance but neither event was welcome or acceptable. When I was younger, other men might think those stories are a great laugh or even say I "missed an opportunity" in Kilkenny, but that kind of talk doesn't help the stigma around it when it happens to men.

Lux23

Even if you don't consider someone pinching your bum a sexual assault it is a gross invasion of your personal space. I wouldn't be calling the Guards over someone grabbing or groping me, but you have to wonder about someone who does something like that. If they do that in public, what do they do in private?

byronbay2

Dadzilla wrote: »

Another time in a nightclub when I was younger, 2 girls grabbed me and tried to rip my shirt open (bursting buttons). Sure it wasn't sexual assault but given the bouncers were nowhere to be seen, I had to force the girls off me. I just used the necessary forcing them off me so that I could get away but I was terrified that they might claim I assaulted them! I immediately reported it to 2 bouncers, neither of them did nothing and found it quite amusing.

THAT'S the real fear! Any grabbing/groping that goes wrong and management/bouncers get involved. Suddenly you have 2 conflicting stories: who is going to be believed?? That is why men get out of the area asap and keep their mouths shut!

dobman88

Balmed Out wrote: »

They weren't doing it in the same way a dirty old male perv would but as a sort of competitive one up man-ship kind of thing

Why is it different when a dirty male perv does it as opposed to a dirty female perv?

khaldrogo

dobman88 wrote:

Why is it different when a dirty male perv does it as opposed to a dirty female perv?

Because there's no such thing as a dirty female perv according to the media and the feminazis

Balmed Out

dobman88 wrote: »

Why is it different when a dirty male perv does it as opposed to a dirty female perv?

No experience of dirty old men but I would guess them to be doing it for sexual gratification. The women were more doing it out of some lewd sense of humour.

dobman88

Balmed Out wrote: »

No experience of dirty old men but I would guess them to be doing it for sexual gratification. The women were more doing it out of some lewd sense of humour.

And that right there is what's wrong with this situation. A man does it for perverted sexual reasons but it's harmless fun when a woman does it.

Balmed Out

dobman88 wrote: »

And that right there is what's wrong with this situation. A man does it for perverted sexual reasons but it's harmless fun when a woman does it.

I didn't mean its harmless fun, just different not better or worse. Not sure anyone thinks that kind of behavior is harmless fun other then those who would do it, i'd guess the old perv thinks similarly. Its embarrassing, demeaning and plain bulling.

fxotoole

I love Sean nos wrote: »

Was working in a nightclub in my late teens as a student and I remember one particular night. Every time I passed these two ladies (I was collecting glasses), they would grab my crotch or arse, sometimes both. It was funny the first couple of times, but then it became a chore. I remember then avoiding that section of the club until the lights came on.

Very similar scenario as yourself. I used to work in a bar/nightclub and has women slapping/grabbing my arse. Not that I’d class that as sexual harassment

...And Justice

fxotoole wrote: »

Very similar scenario as yourself. I used to work in a bar/nightclub and has women slapping/grabbing my arse. Not that I’d class that as sexual harassment

I was there in a former life, but I loved screwing women...would I class it as sexual assault? No I wouldn't.

Dadzilla

fxotoole wrote: »

Very similar scenario as yourself. I used to work in a bar/nightclub and has women slapping/grabbing my arse. Not that I’d class that as sexual harassment

Herein lies the issue. It IS sexual harassment.

Here’s an alternate example. A female friend of mine was sexually harassed (verbally) on a work night out. She was single at the time and knew the guy was as a tosser so brushed it off and didn’t think anything further on it. Unknown to her another person in the group took serious exception to his comments, reported it to HR and he was fired and rightly so.

citytillidie

dobman88 wrote: »

And that right there is what's wrong with this situation. A man does it for perverted sexual reasons but it's harmless fun when a woman does it.

Just the usual double standards

Take strippers as another example, man goes to a strip club he is a creep and a perv, woman have male strippers and it is a bit of fun no harm girls just letting their hair down

El_Duderino 09

fxotoole wrote:

Very similar scenario as yourself. I used to work in a bar/nightclub and has women slapping/grabbing my arse. Not that I’d class that as sexual harassment

It's sexual in nature and it's uninvited touching. What do you class it as?

Jawgap

Worked in a bar from about age 16 as a lounge-boy/glass collector......getting your arse, crotch grabbed by boozy women in groups was par for the course....often they would put all the glasses right in the middle and you'd have to go in to get them instead of them being passed over.

Working as a young chef, you were fair game for waitresses who regarded doing anything to embarrass you as good sport......and that included groping, grabbing and anything else they fancied.

Working abroad, someone in a more senior position took a shine to me and effectively coerced me into a short relationship.

Can't say I was especially traumatised by any of the experiences......some transient embarrassment perhaps, but it certainly taught me about being assertive and having and respecting limits.

up for anything

beefburrito wrote: »

Great fodder for the feminst movement....

Anyhow over the years I had the odd pinch,slap on the ass and tactile ladies being touchy feely....

A gay guy in work slapped my arse one day lol I actually thought it was funny....
It was done with a shovel, just a bit of messing...

These are minor things,I have no intentions of RUINING RUINING some ladies or man's life over something simple and quite harmless....

Had another lady who I shared a bed with one night,in my mind it was two grown ups sharing a bed, we fell asleep after a chat and a giggle...
Anyhow I woke up at around 5am to her giving me a reach around and feeling my bellend....she spooned right into me....
We woke up later and she was quite embarrassed,I said nothing

Can you feminist's hear me "I'VE NO REASON TO RUIN SOMEONE'S LIFE OVER A BIT OF HARMLESS PHYSICAL Banter or someone maybe doing something in their sleep, unbeknownst to themselves...

I think you'll find that if you ever spoke to feminists, instead of regarding them with suspicion and derision, that most would support your rights as well as looking for theirs. Your story sounds a bit suspect - why would she be embarrassed if she did it in her sleep unbeknownst to herself. She wouldn't remember doing it surely.

EPAndlee wrote: »

Yeah sure aren't we all equal. Do men really care about being touched or grabbed by a random woman

Yes, I believe a lot of them do and they're right to care. It's demeaning and dismissive and if you don't see it like that it's because you haven't had centuries of conditioning to being treated like a piece of meat that must keep a sense of humour and perspective about being groped and felt up by anyone of the opposite sex who can't control their impulses.

The Bishop Basher

up for anything wrote: »

I think you'll find that if you ever spoke to feminists

I can only speak for myself but the second i get a whiff of that word i'm outta there quicker then you could say where's me dinner luv..

I just can't be listening to their horse****..

Especially the ones that feel the need to proclaim themselves as feminists at every available opportunity. They're undoubtedly the most whingy, whiney, nauseating and annoyingly self absorbed people i've ever had the displeasure to meet.

up for anything wrote: »

Your story sounds a bit suspect - why would she be embarrassed if she did it in her sleep unbeknownst to herself. She wouldn't remember doing it surely.

So you doubt his story describing the sexual assault he endured Bit of double standards going on there surely.

up for anything wrote: »

Yes, I believe a lot of them do and they're right to care. It's demeaning and dismissive and if you don't see it like that it's because you haven't had centuries of conditioning to being treated like a piece of meat that must keep a sense of humour and perspective about being groped and felt up by anyone of the opposite sex who can't control their impulses.

:rolleyes:

This thread is full of men recounting their stories of being felt up uninvited by women and in every case they've shrugged and walked on. Why ? Because they're not looking for an argument and unlike militant feminists, they're not looking for opportunities to be offended and outraged at every turn.

Is it sexual assault ? Who ****in cares..

You had your ass felt.. get over it and move on..

Fall_Guy

Swanner wrote: »

This thread is full of men recounting their stories of being felt up uninvited by women and in every case they've shrugged and walked on. Why ? Because they're not looking for an argument and unlike militant feminists, they're not looking for opportunities to be offended and outraged at every turn.

Is it sexual assault ? Who ****in cares..

You had your ass felt.. get over it and move on..

Nah, the main reason the reaction is different as the power dynamics are different. Biological differences dictate that in general, men are stronger than women. This means that there is a greater level of threat when the actions are carried out by a man.

In general, men are also more violent than women. This means that there is a greater level of threat when the actions are carried out by a man.

The only takes recounted here tha make me
feel uneasy are the ones where teenage boys are being grabbed by groups of auld ones, as the power dynamics are different again there as a younger male is obviously more vulnerable than an auld lad in that context.

Now having said that, no one has the right to put there hands on ANYONE without consent so I'm not excusing the idiotic women who do it. But to try and peddle the argument that a male and female doing the exact same thing to a member of the opposite sex is directly comparable is well wide of the mark for a number of reasons that should really be apparent to all. But I guess that's the whole thing with privilege and blind spots at work again

Fall_Guy

Fall_Guy wrote: »

Biological differences dictate that in general, men are stronger than women. This means that there is a greater level of threat when the actions are carried out by a man.

As you said, In general. However, it's quite reasonable to suggest that if women learned self-defense then that power difference would evaporate. Strength isn't everything, and being smaller has definite advantages in a fight.

The problem is not biological. It's cultural. Most women do not want to learn. They probably think fighting is beneath them somehow (I don't know the actual reason ), or they just shouldn't need to do it. Whereas we have the stereotype that men just love to fight. haha.

In general, men are also more violent than women. This means that there is a greater level of threat when the actions are carried out by a man.

I do wonder about this. How much of that is cultural?

Now having said that, no one has the right to put there hands on ANYONE without consent so I'm not excusing the idiotic women who do it. But to try and peddle the argument that a male and female doing the exact same thing to a member of the opposite sex is directly comparable is well wide of the mark for a number of reasons that should really be apparent to all. But I guess that's the whole thing with privilege and blind spots at work again

I'd still like to hear the number of apparent reasons.

The Bishop Basher

Fall_Guy wrote: »

In general, men are also more violent than women. This means that there is a greater level of threat when the actions are carried out by a man.

It's not uncommon to see women on trial for killing their husbands and I would hazard a guess that there are many thousands of male victims of domestic violence who never speak up and would disagree with your views.

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd still like to hear the number of apparent reasons.

Likewise.. Please share them..

Fall_Guy

Swanner wrote: »

It's not uncommon to see women on trial for killing their husbands and I would hazard a guess that there are many thousands of male victims of domestic violence who never speak up and would disagree with your views.



Likewise.. Please share them..

Ah here.

I used the words in general to cover this very issue. Of course there are women who engage in violence. If you are trying to argue that the prevalence of violent acts perpetrated by women on men comes close to the opposite scenario I think we are at an impasse.

The potential threat that a women faces from a man is far greater than that which a ma faces from a woman in general due to the fact that men are physically stronger than women.

Yes there are ass-kicking women but all things being equal, the average man has tbe physical strength to force the average woman to do things against her will, whereas the same isn't true if the roles were reversed. This skews the power dynamics and means that the same actions by the different genders do not have equal effects.

As evidenced by this thread.

But just because men don't feel as threatened by a woman grabbing their arse, it doesn't give a man the right to say a woman should laugh off the same, due to the inherent differences outlined above

pilly

Swanner wrote: »

It's not uncommon to see women on trial for killing their husbands and I would hazard a guess that there are many thousands of male victims of domestic violence who never speak up and would disagree with your views.



Likewise.. Please share them..

No-one has said women don't kill or beat their husbands up but it's undeniable that the numbers are much much higher the other way around.

daheff

I worked in a bar when i was younger. Had the usual drunk women grab my ass. I was 17 at the time....they were obviously over 18 (& usually quite a bit more). So technically not only was it sexual harassment/assault, it was also against a minor.

Also had a few exs grab my ass on random nights out where they happened to be in the same place.

Same as most guys, I havent made a huge big deal of it & tried to ruin somebodys life over stupid drunken behaviour.

I guess one of the key things is that I could just walk away , & that these incindents happened in public places. If things got out of hand somebody would have (probably) stepped in.

A lot of this is part & parcel of daily life..whether it should be (or how much of it should)is a different question

Taylor365

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Not that I would class any of this as an assault but years ago working doors you used to have an add one at the end of the night trying all sorts, pretty much what has been mentioned already.

However, the worse one so far was Take That concer in Croker... All mid thirty women in groups of them. My arsenal was black and blue from the pinching. And most of the other lads had the same issue.....

Again, never considered any of that an assault.

:pac:

Worked the same gig, but there was a barrier between them and me + take that.

The Bishop Basher

Fall_Guy wrote: »

Yes there are ass-kicking women but all things being equal, the average man has tbe physical strength to force the average woman to do things against her will, whereas the same isn't true if the roles were reversed. This skews the power dynamics and means that the same actions by the different genders do not have equal effects.

I think you completely misunderstand and misrepresent domestic violence when it perpetrated against men..

Physical strength has nothing whatsoever do to with it.

pilly wrote: »

No-one has said women don't kill or beat their husbands up but it's undeniable that the numbers are much much higher the other way around.

Can you share that data ?

I would agree the numbers are probably higher but I don't agree that they're much higher..

But share the data you're working with and i'm open to correction..

pilly

Swanner wrote: »

I think you completely misunderstand and misrepresent domestic violence when it perpetrated against men..

Physical strength has nothing whatsoever do to with it.



Can you share that data ?

I would agree the numbers are probably higher but I don't agree that they're much higher..

But share the data you're working with and i'm open to correction..

You could always do your own research if you're genuinely interested. But here's a start for you anyway.

https://www.esri.ie/news/domestic-abuse-of-women-and-men-in-ireland-report-on-the-national-study-of-domestic-abuse/

213,000 women seriously abused vs 88,000 men. I would call that much higher, wouldn't you?

The Bishop Basher

pilly wrote: »

You could always do your own research if you're genuinely interested. But here's a start for you anyway.

I have..

pilly wrote: »

213,000 women seriously abused vs 88,000 men. I would call that much higher, wouldn't you?

Yes but you conveniently left out..

Only a minority (one in five) had reported the behaviour to the Gardaí, however, and men were less likely than women to report (5 per cent compared to 29 per cent of women among those severely abused).


In short, we have no idea of the incident rates of domestic violence on men because of the stigma involved in admitting it..

Other surveys suggest it's closer to 50%..

Fall_Guy

Swanner wrote: »

I have..



Yes but you conveniently left out..

Only a minority (one in five) had reported the behaviour to the Gardaí, however, and men were less likely than women to report (5 per cent compared to 29 per cent of women among those severely abused).


In short, we have no idea of the incident rates of domestic violence on men because of the stigma involved in admitting it..

Other surveys suggest it's closer to 50%..

I feel domestic violence is a strawman here as the difference in levels of threat that members of either sex would feel in a situation where sexual harrassment occurs is not related to prevalence of domestic violence, but violence of a sexual nature.

A women is many many times more likely to be the victim of sexual violence. Furthermore, most of the sexual violence that men are the victim of is perpetrated by other men.

Can you really not see how this dynamic effects how people of different genders may experience the same act, and the level of threat they may or may not feel when faced with a similar situation (for example, someone grabbing someones ass without consent)?

beans

Do you think you have been the victim of sexual assault?

Technically, yes.

I've worked the floor in gay nightclubs, and been groped a handful of times. I've been kissed by a man on one occasion, without warning or consent.

So any sexual harassment I've experienced has been at the hands (and tongues) of other men. None of these instances were more than a mild irritation, but then I never felt that the balance of power was weighted against me.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Domestic violence is a far more complex thing. There can be horrific violence carried out by women where men don't retaliate, because of the inherent and cultural/gendered emotional factors.

However, if we could move the goalposts back to their starting positions and talk about sexual violence and harassment, men in general are bigger, far stronger and far more violent than women. In general. Generally. Generalisation. Any average man is likely to be far bigger and stronger than any average woman, and when he groped or grabs her, she has no way of knowing if he, specifically, is one of the violent ones.

So yes I'd say the dynamics are different. Not that it makes it at all acceptable for a woman to put her hands on a man in that way, and it's an infuriating double standard indeed. I've personally called women up on it and it's amazing how blind some of them have been to the reality of what they're doing. You'd notice that there's usually a power thing there too, going for very young men or a group going for a man on his own.

I'm on my phone but if you Google the UN figures as far as I recall globally men account for 95% of homicides, 90% of victims of homicide, and 30% of domestic violence fatalities. The homicide figures take into account gang killings in the Americas and stuff, but the domestic homicide figures are pretty consistent.