Was the experience of losing your "v-card" good, meh, or disappointing?

nigel_wilson

I'm going to lose my virginity with a girl two years older in two week's time on Halloween after a few drinks. Ihear from a lot of people that it's pretty awkward. Guy's sometimes have to "find the hole" and can try up to three times before inserting it correctly. Women's who have bad experiences generally range from slight discomfort to pain from PIV.

Seeing as how a lot of people on boards generally have a highly inflated (not in a derogatory way) sense of self and exude the utmost confidence, I presume that you guys and gals didn't have much feelings of awkwardness or performance anxiety?

beertons

Anyone for popcorn?

Arsemageddon

I can safely say your going to make a complete mess of it. probably for the best if you join a monastery now and live the remainder of your life in celibacy.

Happy to help!

magentis

Just take it nice and easy when guiding the lad in op.One slip and you are in the shït.

corner of hells

Ask her if you can back scuttle her from behind, that way you can't see each other's face.
It'll add to the ambience.
Try not get too drunk , brewers droop is a bastard.
Make sure there's not an audience. There's nothing worse than a crowd who give encouragement while your in action.

Up to three times?

gitzy16v

Make sure you take a decent run up,you'll need to gain as much speed as possible before entry.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Horrific, 3 years passed before I let anyone near me again

suicide_circus

Despite what may be said, there are no "wrong" holes.

wakka12

What age are ya?
Mine was fine. He was a nice fella..I was fond of him. I was drunk as ****..but I kind of needed to be because I was nervous about it. I kind of just wanted to get it over and done with. It gets better after the first time :pac:

Pac1Man

Be safe.

Be sure.

Arsemageddon

suicide_circus wrote: »

Despite what may be said, there are no "wrong" holes.

Even the nostrils?

thecornflake

Arsemageddon wrote: »

Even the nostrils?

Not to be sniffed at

Crea

I was madly in love so it was perfect eventhough it was fumbling and crap and neither of us had a clue and it was over in 5 seconds.
No regrets.

riffmongous

thecornflake wrote: »

Not to be sniffed at

Outlaw Pete

Go up to your local Xtra-Vision and as for the The Lover's Guide.

Go to XVideos and search for: DVD1 The Original Lover's Guide.

10% of Boards' userbase were conceived because of that video. True story.

Crea

Wear a condom

Pat Mustard

nigel_wilson wrote: »

I'm going to lose my virginity with a girl two years older in two week's time on Halloween after a few drinks. Ihear from a lot of people that it's pretty awkward. Guy's sometimes have to "find the hole" and can try up to three times before inserting it correctly.

It's like a reissue of "The Secret Life of Adrian Mole aged 13 3/4".

Assetbacked

It was disappointing; despite her having fake knockers and giving off the impression of being experienced (she was a year older), neither of us really knew what we were doing and it consisted of me asking if she was okay repeatedly due to her constant "ow, ow".

Fast forward a good few years and the thoughts of ****ing a virgin are so unappealing; she just wouldn't know what she likes and most likely would be in pain, it would be tedious. Never understood the appeal for virgins.

Rubberchikken

That's some serious forward planning.
Where's the romance anymore

Donald Trump

'

Crea wrote: »

Wear a condom

Pffft. You can't get her pregnant the first time. To be extra safe just shout "Expelliarmus" at the time of delivery. Scientifically impossible*




*may not be good advice

Donald Trump

Assetbacked wrote: »

It was disappointing; despite her having fake knockers and giving off the impression of being experienced (she was a year older), neither of us really knew what we were doing and it consisted of me asking if she was okay repeatedly due to her constant "ow, ow".

Fast forward a good few years and the thoughts of ****ing a virgin are so unappealing; she just wouldn't know what she likes and most likely would be in pain, it would be tedious. Never understood the appeal for virgins.

Awwwwww

And they say romance is dead!

Donald Trump

nigel_wilson wrote: »

I'm going to lose my virginity with a girl two years older in two week's time on Halloween after a few drinks. Ihear from a lot of people that it's pretty awkward. Guy's sometimes have to "find the hole" and can try up to three times before inserting it correctly. Women's who have bad experiences generally range from slight discomfort to pain from PIV.

Seeing as how a lot of people on boards generally have a highly inflated (not in a derogatory way) sense of self and exude the utmost confidence, I presume that you guys and gals didn't have much feelings of awkwardness or performance anxiety?

You seem fairly confident that it's a sure thing.

Don't forget the advice from Jimmy Carr

If you’re going to have sex with a stranger …. always, always, always ask.

the_syco

Deleted User wrote: »

Up to three times?

I'm taking that he was screwing the folds the first few times?

Mr.Plough

Brutal. Didn't know where I was putting it, I thought it was in when it wasn't and thrusted for a good 2 minutes before she put it in. Didn't enjoy it at all, just wanted it to be over so I could dispose of the v card (I was 17).

To make it worse I stuffed the rubber in a matchbox which her father later found, and when I jumped out of her window (bungalow) there was a 6 foot drop which I wasn't aware of which resulted in a twisted ankle. It's all uphill from there though.

Atoms for Peace

I've never lost my Visa card.

Esel

I always carry cash.

jester77

Must make sure she has signed the consent letter, and also before drinks are consumed.

How Soon Is Now

I was sure this was gonna be something about losing valentines cards.....

Oh well maybe next time!

hairyslug

Rubberchikken wrote: »

That's some serious forward planning.
Where's the romance anymore

Our 2nd child was planned, there was no romance in that, more like military precision and timing.

Lt Dan

nigel_wilson wrote: »

I'm going to lose my virginity with a girl two years older in two week's time on Halloween after a few drinks. Ihear from a lot of people that it's pretty awkward. Guy's sometimes have to "find the hole" and can try up to three times before inserting it correctly. Women's who have bad experiences generally range from slight discomfort to pain from PIV.

Seeing as how a lot of people on boards generally have a highly inflated (not in a derogatory way) sense of self and exude the utmost confidence, I presume that you guys and gals didn't have much feelings of awkwardness or performance anxiety?

First time is always rubbish. Worse when you let on that you have done it two or three times before .

Don't worry , have low expectations. Just make sure you have johnnies , lube and , I am not joking here, just make sure that she IS OF THE AGE OF CONSENT (regardless of your age - I don't know if you are a teenager or older, even if you are under age, the law is dodgy about banging a girl , despite being two years older , if she too is not at the age of consent )

Scoring with an older chick?

Nnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeee:cool:

Have lube if it is her first time. Rather presumptuous to think that your member is that big that she can't take it , if , it is not her first time. Kudos if the member is impressive

Don't rush it, and stay off the booze and for god sake make sure that she ain't drunk . Might want to knock one off before the event, so you can be chilled and don't get excited too early. Foreplay might be key too.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I can't be the only one thinking it's a wind up, and it's very chore sex guy ish. Here's another effort from the OP.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=104816390

Mister Vain

Assetbacked wrote: »

It was disappointing; despite her having fake knockers and giving off the impression of being experienced (she was a year older), neither of us really knew what we were doing and it consisted of me asking if she was okay repeatedly due to her constant "ow, ow".

Mine was similar except I kept repeatedly telling her she had great knockers. I don't know why I did that. I cringe thinking about it now.

WinnyThePoo

Who calls it the v card?

Martina1991

The first time is never great.
It's usually meh.
I just wanted to get it over with.

Gerrup Outta Dat!

If you put it up her bum does it still count as losing the v plates?

Mister Vain

Gerrup Outta Dat! wrote: »

If you put it up her bum does it still count as losing the v plates?

Yeah but you will still have the N plate. Never again.

I miss the thread in which people described their first sexual experience with MS Paint.

Bitches Be Trypsin

Mine was really really painful, my boyfriend was lovely about it, I was 20, but jesus, I cried bad

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

PARlance

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I miss the thread in which people described their first sexual experience with MS Paint.

I used to enjoy MS Paint but never enough for it to be a sexual experience.

leggo

I spit chewing gum in her hair by accident and got caught by my parents. That's not a made up story. Yours will almost definitely not go worse than that, so feel better and have fun.

Jim Bob Scratcher

jester77 wrote: »

Must make sure she has signed the consent letter, and also before drinks are consumed.

This OP

And no harm to have a solicitor there either just to be sure off no comebacks

corner of hells

corner of hells wrote: »

Make sure there's not an audience. There's nothing worse than a crowd who give encouragement while your in action.

A crowd that doesn't

Mister Vain

leggo wrote: »

I spit chewing gum in her hair by accident and got caught by my parents. That's not a made up story. Yours will almost definitely not go worse than that, so feel better and have fun.

You were chewing gum while shagging?

Conall Cernach

Mister Vain wrote: »

Mine was similar except I kept repeatedly telling her she had great knockers. I don't know why I did that. I cringe thinking about it now.

Quote = Younger me: "You have a lovely figure" :o:o:o:o

leggo

Mister Vain wrote: »

You were chewing gum while shagging?

Forgot to take it out until it was too late, hence the virginity until that point.

_Kaiser_

With an older girl who more or less took charge of the situation Wasn't too bad as I remember.

Hammer89

Deleted User wrote: »

I miss the thread in which people described their first sexual experience with MS Paint.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=104460868

Proud of my efforts.

sligojoek

Esel wrote: »

I always carry cash.

I have a "Master"card.

Press_Start

Mine was a little different, as it happened to be with a few women consecutively, however it had the same experiences.

Some drunken fumbling with some stumbling, bumbling and afterwards some serious humbling.

In all seriousness, don't overthink it, let it happen. Don't be afraid. Don't be TOO excited and try not to be too adventurous. We've all watched a few "theatrical sexual demonstrations" and some of us are fortunate enough to let the missus give us a go, before deciding that the classics are the best way to go about it.

It will be awkward, but if you're both awkward together, it's great, and always a great story.

"Stick 'em with the pointy end"