Do you love your children more than your partner?

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Just that really. Do you love them more, less or differently?

I'd imagine most women do, men, I dunno.

fred funk }{

In order of importance...

1. Dog

2. Kids

3. Mrs.

The_Valeyard

fred funk }{ wrote: »

In order of importance...

1. Dog

2. Kids

3. Mrs.

Thats wuf on the humans

pilly

Definitely love the kids more since my hubbie is gone about 18 years now.

Although after reading the posts above I can't decide between the dog and the kids.

El Weirdo

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

Just that really. Do you love them more, less or differently?

Differently.

Definitely differently.

kunst nugget

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

Just that really. Do you love them more, less or differently?

Obviously differently, because if I loved my kids in the same way I loved my wife that would be kind of icky and illegal.

blade1

El Weirdo wrote: »

Differently.

Definitely differently.

I should hope so El Weirdo!:P

Cina

I love your partner op, not your kids ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fmpisces

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

Just that really. Do you love them more, less or differently?

Put it this way....
When we were together, I'd have always striven to put my kids first, can't say that I loved them more than him but yes, the love was definitely different.
Now we're not together I definitely love them more :D:D

LirW

I love both very much, I can't really compare. I love the kids because they're great fun but I love the man because he's amazing and I like this love-making thing very much. I'm secretly looking forward to when the nippers move out, so it's the two of us again (and I'm saying that with my tiny one being 6 months haha).

Therefore I pick the dog.

A very interesting topic OP. I have neither husband or children but this is something I wonder about. Of course the love would be different because of the romantic and sexual element towards your partner but I imagine it's possible in some cases for the love to be less than or greater.


Then there is the 'do you have a favourite child' question I also wonder about but that's a kind of different discussion.

LirW

Deleted User wrote: »

Then there is the 'do you have a favourite child' question I also wonder about but that's a kind of different discussion.

My favourite child is the one that eats dinner without complaining and is in bed asleep first :pac:

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Deleted User wrote: »

A very interesting topic OP. I have neither husband or children but this is something I wonder about. Of course the love would be different because of the romantic and sexual element towards your partner but I imagine it's possible in some cases for the love to be less than or greater.


Then there is the 'do you have a favourite child' question I also wonder about but that's a kind of different discussion.

Sorry, when I said 'different' I meant do some people find it completely impossible to compare the levels of love they have for spouse or children.

pilly

I would think of it in this way, if I had to choose between one or the other which would I choose. I think 80-90% of people would choose their child/children. Don't know if that signifies a stronger love or stronger bond though?

Malayalam

Hmmmm...

well, if it came to a Sophie's choice type of thing, an unavoidable moment of sacrifice...I would sacrifice me first, then order for them to push himself under the bus and hope by then the children would be left alone. So, looks like I love them a little teeny bit more. :eek:

kunst nugget

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

Sorry, when I said 'different' I meant do some people find it completely impossible to compare the levels of love they have for spouse or children.

I honestly wouldn't be able to differentiate my love for my wife and children in terms of whether I loved one more than the other. It kind of congeals in one great big ball of love.

LirW

pilly wrote: »

I would think of it in this way, if I had to choose between one or the other which would I choose. I think 80-90% of people would choose their child/children. Don't know if that signifies a stronger love or stronger bond though?

I don't think so, I think it's more about the kind of love. When you have your children you naturally have a very selfless love towards them, you basically love them because there are here and they are yours. A lot is connected to this love.
When women (or men) don't experience that, they won't have a connection to the child and that makes it really hard sometimes even relating to them or seeing them as your own.
But you pick your partner. You are with them because they have certain qualities and values you agree with and you enjoy their company and the intimacy.

Lots of people would choose their kids simply because they are your offspring and you have to defend them because they can't, at least when they're little.

Pherekydes

fred funk }{ wrote: »

In order of importance...

1. Dog

2. Kids

3. Mrs.

Hmmm, I got

1. Green Bay Packers
2. Wife
3. Stoke City
4. My car
5. My bike
6. The kids

7. The dog.

Sue Pa Key Pa

I have no favourites, you are all equal (says everybody to the non-favourite)

Whispered

Yes.

The intensity of just how much you love your child blew me away when he was born. People told me of course but nothing prepared me. Like a punch in the heart, in a nice way

One eyed Jack

I'd find it impossible to compare the two if I'm honest. I'd be more pragmatic than emotional about it, and even then because they're two completely different people I couldn't say I care for one more, less or the same as the other in any meaningfully quantifiable terms.

Bambi985

Can't wait for someone to say "definitely my OH, my kids are a pain in the hole and I only had them because he/she wanted them" and it all kicks off :D

boardsuser1

I had to love my partner in order to love my kids didn't i?

Cork Truck Driver

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

I had to love my partner in order to love my kids didn't i?

Not necessarily. I'd say there are many mothers and fathers out there who did not love their each other when their children were comceived.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

MadDog76

I love my kids, I'm in love with my wife .......... stupid question really.

MadDog76

Deleted User wrote: »

A very interesting topic OP. I have neither husband or children but this is something I wonder about. Of course the love would be different because of the romantic and sexual element towards your partner but I imagine it's possible in some cases for the love to be less than or greater.


Then there is the 'do you have a favourite child' question I also wonder about but that's a kind of different discussion.

Every parent (some will deny this) who has more than one child will have a "favourite" ......... however, the favourite child changes on a daily basis ......... sometimes on an hourly, or even minute by minute, basis!!

MadDog76

Malayalam wrote: »

Hmmmm...

well, if it came to a Sophie's choice type of thing, an unavoidable moment of sacrifice...I would sacrifice me first, then order for them to push himself under the bus and hope by then the children would be left alone. So, looks like I love them a little teeny bit more. :eek:

If it came to a life/death decision I'd choose my children which is what my wife would want me to do and vice versa.

Whispered

MadDog76 wrote: »

If it came to a life/death decision I'd choose my children which is what my wife would want me to do and vice versa.

This is how I'm looking at it too. In order of who i would sacrifice in a gun to the head scenario it would be me, husband, child. And I would expect if he was asked he'd give the same answer.

MadDog76

MadDog76 wrote: »

I love my kids, I'm in love with my wife .......... stupid question really.

I don't think it is a stupid question. It's thought provoking regarding questions that are rarely asked about families. Maybe there are people out there who love their partners but dislike their children.

Outlaw Pete

Augeo wrote: »

I'd imagine most women do, men, I dunno.

Why do you imagine most women do but men you're unsure about?

That sort of implies that you feel women love their children more than men do.

lawred2

kunst nugget wrote: »

Obviously differently, because if I loved my kids in the same way I loved my wife that would be kind of icky and illegal.

weird that you put icky before illegal

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Outlaw Pete

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Why do you imagine most women do but men you're unsure about?

That sort of implies that you feel women love their children more than men do.

Most definitely.
I'd reckon after carrying the child for 9 months before it was born there'd be an incredible bond.

Men fecking off when the going is tough is common enough worldwide, women doing so and leaving the kids with the father is unheard of in comparison.

lawred2

Augeo wrote: »

Most definitely.
I'd reckon after carrying the child for 9 months before it was born there'd be an incredible bond.

Men fecking off when the going is tough is common enough worldwide, women doing so and leaving the kids with the father is unheard of in comparison.

You want vinegar with those chips?

Just because some men have to leave the family home doesn't automatically mean that they love their kids any less than the mother or that they've just 'fecked off'. Oftentimes that decision is a legal one and pays little heed to which parent loves the kids the most.

You've constructed a reality which is based on ill grounded conclusions and fallacies in reasoning.

lawred2

lawred2 wrote: »

You want vinegar with those chips?

Just because some men have to leave the family home doesn't automatically mean that they love their kids any less than the mother or that they've just 'fecked off'. Oftentimes that decision is a legal one and pays little heed to which parent loves the kids the most.

You've constructed a reality which is based on ill grounded conclusions and fallacies in reasoning.

I'm referring to the ones that actually decide to wander off.
Like, all those single mothers out there, many of the fathers never wanted anything to do with the kid.
My point is that women have more of a bond with the kids by and large, it's simply nature.

You can keep your salty comments to yourself.

lawred2

Augeo wrote: »

I'm referring to the ones that actually decide to wander off.
Like, all those single mothers out there, many of the fathers never wanted anything to do with the kid.
My point is that women have more of a bond with the kids by and large, it's simply nature.

You can keep your salty comments to yourself.

Some lads feck off. That's not up for discussion. Why you think that extends to the generalisation that mothers love children more than fathers escapes me.

pilly

lawred2 wrote: »

Some lads feck off. That's not up for discussion. Why you think that extends to the generalisation that mothers love children more than fathers escapes me.

Because in terms of percentage the amount of men that leave their children vs women that leave their children (I'm talking about ones that have no contact), the percentage has to be 90/10 at the very least.

Wabbit Ears

Hypotheticly If the house was on fire and everyone was unconcious bar me Id take my little girl first, my little boy second and my wife third.

My wife would take the little boy, little girl and the life policy payout (Joking, not joking)

munsterlegend

Augeo wrote: »

I'm referring to the ones that actually decide to wander off.
Like, all those single mothers out there, many of the fathers never wanted anything to do with the kid.
My point is that women have more of a bond with the kids by and large, it's simply nature.

You can keep your salty comments to yourself.

When children are small from 0-3/4, children are I would agree closer to their mother. That is usually as the child spends more time with their mother for obvious reasons. After that though it can go either way even when couples separate.

pilly

pilly wrote: »

Because in terms of percentage the amount of men that leave their children vs women that leave their children (I'm talking about ones that have no contact), the percentage has to be 90/10 at the very least.

Indeed, it's a simple concept really.

munsterlegend wrote: »

When children are small from 0-3/4, children are I would agree closer to their mother. That is usually as the child spends more time with their mother for obvious reasons. After that though it can go either way even when couples separate.

Point taken, 3 or 4 years is a significant portion of the "child" period imo. Presumably the OP wasn't on about kids in their 30s and 40s and which parent loves them more etc compared to their spouse

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Hypotheticly If the house was on fire and everyone was unconcious bar me Id take my little girl first, my little boy second and my wife third.

My wife would take the little boy, little girl and the life policy payout (Joking, not joking)

That's interesting. If you don't mind me asking (and tell me to mind my own business if you want) why would you choose one child before the other?

sbsquarepants

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

Just that really. Do you love them more, less or differently?

If the house is on fire and I have to choose between the missus and the kids - well then I guess the missus has to go. (and anyway she'd be far too hard to carry after all those valium I'd ground up and slipped into her dinner, you know, so the smoke alarms wouldn't wake her)

She's well insured, as luck would have it, so we'll be ok - and we can always find the kids a new mammy, a younger one, one with not a single word of English, although I will miss those mid match conversations.

It's what she would have wanted.

RIP

Wabbit Ears

Mara Slow Coliseum wrote: »

That's interesting. If you don't mind me asking (and tell me to mind my own business if you want) why would you choose one child before the other?

Because shes my baby girl and I'm her daddy and its my sole job on this earth to do everything in my power to make sure shes safe.

Sam Kade

pilly wrote: »

Definitely love the kids more since my hubbie is gone about 18 years now.

Although after reading the posts above I can't decide between the dog and the kids.

They're surely adults by now.

KaiserGunner

MadDog76 wrote: »

Every parent (some will deny this) who has more than one child will have a "favourite" ......... however, the favourite child changes on a daily basis ......... sometimes on an hourly, or even minute by minute, basis!!

I'm setting myself up for being slated here (as I have no children myself), but I really don't understand how a parent could have a "favourite" child? Surely as a parent you love each child equally and wouldn't have favouritism toward any child?

Wabbit Ears

KaiserGunner wrote: »

I'm setting myself up for being slated here (as I have no children myself), but I really don't understand how a parent could have a "favourite" child? Surely as a parent you love each child equally and wouldn't have favouritism toward any child?

LOL...ROFL....Sigh.. Oh you precious summer child!!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

pilly

Sam Kade wrote: »

They're surely adults by now.

They are, I still call them the kids though.

valoren

Bonding is not black and white.
You bond with a partner and you bond with your offspring.

If that bond is truly successful then questions of choosing either or are an irrelevance.