Do you avoid stillness?

Links55

Are you able to be happy just sitting down on bench somewhere doing nothing and thinking of nothing, just being?

That is the true measure of self esteem in my opinion, understanding you are enough and enjoying just being without the need to distract yourself with "pleasures" or by "being busy".

sbsquarepants

Links55 wrote: »

Are you able to be happy just sitting down on bench somewhere doing nithing and thinking of nothing, just being?

That is the true measure of self esteem in my opinion, understanding you are enough and enjoying just being without the need to distract yourself with "pleasures" or by "being busy".

You spelled knitting wrong.

No, I don't knit.

neonsofa

It's my fave thing to do. I rarely get a second to myself but when I do I enjoy just sitting and doing nothing. If in public i tend to people watch though which makes me seem like a creep but its fascinating watching everyone else be busy while you just sit. I think it's more a sign of laziness in my case than esteem but there you go.

valoren

Having a body designed for movement, I like it when I get to move that body whenever I can. It makes me happy.
I'm perfectly happy to sit still but I'd equate that to meditation, which is something I really should do.

I love it but sometimes find it hard. It's not always easy to be with nothing but your thoughts and feelings. I do wonder about those who always have to be busy and doing something. I wonder if they are running from what's going on inside them.

jimgoose

Yes indeed. Sometimes I sit and think, and sometimes I just sit. This truly, is the Tao.

Colonel Claptrap

I thrive on it. But I suffer from Tourettes syndrome, so it doesn't come easily to me.

Yoga classes help. But I end up annoying others in the class as my tics (motor, not vocal) are a distraction.

A slow walk is my stillness. It's hard to silence the mind, when the body wants to lash out.

Wildcard7

I think since the age of smartphones, many (me included) have unlearned to do nothing, to "be bored". It's a gift and a curse, always having a newspaper/game console/book/social media client/etc. in your pocket to distract you.

Not doing anything and just being is a beautiful thing, but you need a balanced and quiet mind for it too.

Liking your own company and being content to spent time alone is a great gift.

Its amazing the amount of adults who are always looking for company or cant be fully content in their own company.

Malari

mariaalice wrote: »

Liking your own company and being content to spent time alone is a great gift.

Its amazing the amount of adults who are always looking for company or cant be fully content in their own company.

And this is different from stillness. I see as a waste of time, just sitting and doing nothing but thinking, but I enjoy spending time alone and going for a walk or cycle, without listening to music/podcasts etc.

tevey08

I actually can't think of anything else worse to do. The boredom sitting still for 2 minutes is enough, I'd rather go for a walk or do house work or anything just to avoid not doing anything.

I enjoy when i'm driving on my own and thinking to myself, but that's different as I'm still driving which is doing something.

Doltanian

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!, repeat several times and all stiffness tends to go away.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Alot of people scared of their own feelings I think.

Noveight

Give me a bit of sunshine and I can sit still for hours, nothing is more soothing than the gentle heat of the sun. I'll even nod off if you want me to! :P

Hammer89

We waste over half of our lives by thinking, whether it's the past or future. We rarely think in the present, in the moment, but I do because I'm great and deserve both parachutes. I'd consider myself a proponent for mindfulness, which I think is what the OP is hinting at, and I think everybody should. It's enormously beneficial.

We all have a wanker in our minds, an inner critic which laughs at our tears and smiles at our frowns, and mindfulness has helped me silence him. Well, not silence him, but better able to understand and realise when he's throwing out negative suggestions which can be detrimental to my mental and physical being. You're better equipped to deal with them, as a result of mindfulness.

tomwaterford

Hammer89 wrote: »

We all have a wanker in our minds, an inner critic which laughs at our tears and smiles at our frowns, and mindfulness has helped me silence him. Well, not silence him, but better able to understand and realise when he's throwing out negative suggestions which can be detrimental to my mental and physical being. You're better equipped to deal with them, as a result of mindfulness.

^^WTF??



I do like stillness,and my own quiet time. ...but find myself fidgeting/fiddling with something (or scribbling random ****e) without even thinking on it

_Kaiser_

Does sitting on my ass on the couch watching telly for potentially hours at a time count?

LadyMacBeth_

I love my own company but I tend to need things to distract me, sometimes a TV show isn't enough to stop me from thinking so I will play a game or browse boards or knit or do a crossword at the same time as watching a show. I think that's why I read at night until I get sleepy. I don't usually enjoy lying in bed thinking before I go to sleep. I don't like listening to my own thoughts. Sometimes if I'm in the mood I can just sit on a bus or a train and do nothing but close my eyes and have a think. That is when I fantasise though so another form of escapism. Usually though I am listening to music or reading or using my phone.

WoollyRedHat

No aaaas aaa mattteeeeer of facttt i'''''m boucing upandownn righhtttttt nowwwwww

Malari

Hammer89 wrote: »

We all have a wanker in our minds, an inner critic which laughs at our tears and smiles at our frowns, and mindfulness has helped me silence him. Well, not silence him, but better able to understand and realise when he's throwing out negative suggestions which can be detrimental to my mental and physical being. You're better equipped to deal with them, as a result of mindfulness.

I have a wanker-free mind. Really, my mind has always got my back!

While I hate sitting doing nothing, I think being alone with my thoughts is very important. I love going over plans, the day's events, things I need to do, ideas, ambitions, etc. But that's an easy thing to do when you are also busy with 'muscle-memory' type tasks like cycling, ironing, cooking, etc.

handlemaster

Isn't that what homeless people do all the time.

jeonahr

I love it. With the way life is paced so quickly it's great to just have time to yourself doing nothing and just being content.

monkeysnapper

I haven't done this in a few years but I used to climb local mountains for sunrise , flask of tea and sausage sandwiches and camera . Oh but I wouldn't be alone , I'd take my two loyal friends .Must start doing this again .

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I love it but sometimes find it hard. It's not always easy to be with nothing but your thoughts and feelings. I do wonder about those who always have to be busy and doing something. I wonder if they are running from what's going on inside them.

Some people are just more active than others, mentally or physically or both. It doesn't mean there's some underlying pathology. We all know low-energy people and high-energy people, it's just a difference.

I love a bit of stillness, and practise meditation every morning for 20 - 30 minutes. Its like a little holiday from myself and sweeps my mind clean for the day ahead.

andekwarhola

I don't get as much time to do it now but one of my favourite things is to perambulate aimlessly around the city with no real idea of where I'm going and your mind almost empty and just attuned to wandering around.

It used to be so much better before mobile phones or internet: the idea that nobody knew where you where at a given time, anywhere in the city.

Used to love some of the ideas behind psychogeography.

fmpisces

Links55 wrote: »

Are you able to be happy just sitting down on bench somewhere doing nothing and thinking of nothing, just being?

That is the true measure of self esteem in my opinion, understanding you are enough and enjoying just being without the need to distract yourself with "pleasures" or by "being busy".

Yes, absolutely. It's been a good while since I've done that, mind. It is something that I have being aware of finding myself doing since a very young age. It's just nice to take a while out and take stock of things. My favourite place to do this is by water or surrounded by trees. So, standing at the kitchen sink is marvellous therapy!! There's also something very serene about standing outside and looking up at the sky at night. All these things are free and really help me to just take time out and recharge.

MilesMorales1

I'm eternally restless.

SeaFields

Fly fishing a river, after dark, in a warm summers night. Have often fished straight through until the eastern sky get started brightening again. Stillness, peaceful, mind clearing. Whatever you call it op, yeah love it.

JollyBustard

Nope, bored now!

But in reality, I'm just an extremely busy person. I don't put it down to 'self esteem... understanding you are enough and enjoying just being without the need to distract yourself'. I put it down to the fact that I really enjoy my hobbies, and it just so happens they take a lot of my free time. And also, chores, etc. If I have time to sit and just be, then obviously I have time to do things that need doing, which take precedence.

If I do wind up in a situation where I could sit and do nothing and think of nothing... Out comes the Kindle. Reading is my absolute bliss.

JollyBustard

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I don't know if this is bashing millennials or just observational. :rolleyes:

(As a millennial I had a whole disparaging response about how great we are, but on re-reading a couple of times decided to give the benefit of the doubt).

I will say though, that checking devices multiple times during the day is not limited to my people, but everyone does it. And I'd venture a guess that those studies would garner different results in Ireland. 150 times a day is 10 times an hour (assuming 8 hour sleep). Seems extremely excessive to me

sbsquarepants

Malari wrote: »

I have a wanker-free mind. Really, my mind has always got my back!

I'm the same.

I've never really understood when people say their own mind works against them, or I just can't stop thinking about something or worrying about this or that.
If you're thinking about something that's causing you problems - why not just think about something else?

My missus can tie herself in knots worrying about the simplest of things. I can't for the life of me understand why she doesn't doesn't just adopt a suck it and see approach (ooh, matron;))
Don't worry about the possible outcomes of whatever you're contemplating - just do it and see what the actual outcome is and then deal accordingly - odds are whatever you thought would happen is at best inaccurate and at worst wildly wrong, all the worrying achieves absolutely nothing!

But no matter how many times her worries amount to little or nothing - next decision the process starts afresh. It's borderline crazy!

sbsquarepants

JollyBustard wrote: »

150 times a day is 10 times an hour (assuming 8 hour sleep). Seems extremely excessive to me

Sounds low to me.

I'm old school, when I'm not in work I maybe check my phone 2 or 3 times in a weekend. But my kids - Jaysus 6 whole minutes without looking at a screen, not a hope!

JollyBustard

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Sounds low to me.

I'm old school, when I'm not in work I maybe check my phone 2 or 3 times in a weekend. But my kids - Jaysus 6 whole minutes without looking at a screen, not a hope!

Ah, but are they checking it every six minutes, or are they using it for several/loads of minutes/hours at a time? (I've decided to be a bit of a pedant with this one)

Wanderer78

I'd recommend turning off your phone from time to time and enjoy the peace and quiet, I do it very regularly. They are very intrusive devices, not exactly benefiting us a lot of the time, distracting us from our thoughts and spending quality time with loved ones. They have become an addiction, even to myself, and I'm largely uncontactable. Even though I see the benefits of push technology, it's not very healthy for us

sbsquarepants

JollyBustard wrote: »

Ah, but are they checking it every six minutes, or are they using it for several/loads of minutes/hours at a time? (I've decided to be a bit of a pedant with this one)

Generally they'd be on it for maybe only a few seconds at a time - but check it every couple of minutes. It seems to me like all kids are having multiple conversations all the time - I think it has it's pros and it's cons.

It's good to talk to loads of people, but I also find it quite worrying to apparently not be capable of giving 1 person your full attention for even just a few minutes. It's not just kids either - I find it quite rude when you're talking to someone and they keep pulling out their phone to talk to someone else simultaneously.

Or - maybe I'm just boring and they're fine with other people:eek:

Conor Bourke

I embrace stillness, mostly coz I'm a lazy bastard :pac: but honestly I do love sitting down sometimes and just observing my surroundings for a while. In a busy place, people watching can be so enjoyable but equally in wilderness it's a treat.

Sat on this bench for five minutes mid-trek the other day, not because I was tired but just to take in the whole experience of somewhere I'd never been before. Amazing to breathe in deeply and appreciate the sounds, the colours, the noises and the feeling of wind and drizzle on my face. Eventually whipped out the phone to take this pic to send to my sister who lives on the other side of the world. Can't wait to get back there.

Wanderer78

sbsquarepants wrote:

Generally they be on it for maybe only a few seconds at a time - but check it every couple of minutes. It seems to me like all kids are having multiple conversations all the time - I think it has it's pros and it's cons.

We maybe talking to loads of people at the one time, but are we truly communicating to one another. For a technology that prides itself in communication, we seem to be drifting further apart in this regard. We all need human to human contact on a regular basis, is this technology interfering with this process?

Conor Bourke

I embrace stillness, mostly coz I'm a lazy bastard :pac: but honestly I do love sitting down sometimes and just observing my surroundings for a while. In a busy place, people watching can be so enjoyable but equally in wilderness it's a treat.

Sat on a bench here for five minutes mid-trek the other day, not because I was tired but just to soak up the whole experience of somewhere I'd never been before. Amazing to breathe in deeply and appreciate the sounds, the colours, the noises and the feeling of wind and drizzle on my face in the literal middle of nowhere. Eventually ruined the stillness and whipped out the phone to take this pic to send to my sister who lives on the other side of the world. Can't wait to get back there.

Wanderer78

Cornelius Crow wrote:

Sat on a bench here for five minutes mid-trek the other day, not because I was tired but just to soak up the whole experience of somewhere I'd never been before. Amazing to breathe in deeply and appreciate the sounds, the colours, the noises and the feeling of wind and drizzle on my face in the literal middle of nowhere. Eventually ruined the stillness and whipped out the phone to take this pic to send to my sister who lives on the other side of the world. Can't wait to get back there.

What trail is that?

JollyBustard

While I do agree that it's so so rude to take out a phone mid face-to-face conversation (and I'm guilty of it myself - I'm sure those who aren't would be in the vast minority - but do make efforts to limit it), I don't think it's as bad as some people like to believe.

And sbsquarepants - your kids might be great with other people. You're the parent, so it could be difficult for you to actually know how they do in the real world*.

*I'm basing this on the fact that I'm guessing you'd be on a need to know basis with your own sprogs. Age dependent of course :P

Widdershins

I used to be a bit hyperactive and couldn't bear sitting still on any ordinary day but am actually good at waiting if I have to. I can drift off into my imagination. I often find myself people watching too. Not brazenly staring at people, just observing what's going on around me.

Conor Bourke

Wanderer78 wrote: »

What trail is that?

http://www.irishtrails.ie/maps/SW%20-%20Map%207%20Slish%20Woods%20to%20Dromahair.pdf

Bunowen Bay to Trawane Bay and back.

I use to think phone addiction was a myth until I saw in action with someone I use to work with and the same person use to complain how they didn't have the patience to read books anymore.

sbsquarepants

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm the same.

I've never really understood when people say their own mind works against them, or I just can't stop thinking about something or worrying about this or that.
If you're thinking about something that's causing you problems - why not just think about something else?

My missus can tie herself in knots worrying about the simplest of things. I can't for the life of me understand why she doesn't doesn't just adopt a suck it and see approach (ooh, matron;))
Don't worry about the possible outcomes of whatever you're contemplating - just do it and see what the actual outcome is and then deal accordingly - odds are whatever you thought would happen is at best inaccurate and at worst wildly wrong, all the worrying achieves absolutely nothing!

But no matter how many times her worries amount to little or nothing - next decision the process starts afresh. It's borderline crazy!

"have you just tried not being crazy?"
Lol
It's not so easy

sbsquarepants

bluewolf wrote: »

"have you just tried not being crazy?"

I have, with eh, mixed results:D

Wanderer78

sbsquarepants wrote:

I have, with eh, mixed results

Normal is boring anyway

sbsquarepants

Wanderer78 wrote: »

We all need human to human contact on a regular basis, is this technology interfering with this process?

It's hard to know really.

I'm old enough to remember a time without constant internet access, in fact without internet access at all, no mobile phones and so on.

To me being glued to a screen is a distinct barrier to real communication, but maybe that's just because I wasn't brought up that way. It's certainly a convenient way to hide or to say things you wouldn't necessarily say face to face. That has pros and cons.

It goes farther though than just texting and so on though, to my kids for example (well my older kids) the idea of walking to their friends house, not knowing if they are there or not just seems crazy.
They won't answer the phone if they don't know the number - in my day you never knew who it was till you answered, yet nobody died - I can't understand the paranoia!
Information is good I suppose - but so is a little bit of mystery or even just vagueness. Surprises are good for you - they teach you to think on your feet.

(I was born in the 70's by the way, I'm not in my 70's:D)

sbsquarepants

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Normal is boring anyway

I get called a lot of things.

Very rarely normal, I have to say:D

Permabear

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JollyBustard

Permabear wrote: »

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I say 'bashing millennials' because many seem to have notions about how separated from reality we might be. There seem to be many posts on boards, articles and think pieces in the real world that seem to be anti-millennial so anything negative can often be assumed to be true. It's neither here nor there whether anyone believes checking phones at a higher rate than older generations is a bad thing. However, based on this thread where the theme seems to be that people have lost touch with themselves because they can't sit and do nothing and that's a bad thing - it's portrayed as a negative attribute that millennials are deemed to check phones more frequently. (I'm pretty sure I read the article about that study and the title was the usual bull clickbait 'Millenials check their phones 150 times a day and all their hair will fall out and they'll be sterile and the world is doomed'. Can't remember exactly.)

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Who's to say older adults wouldn't check their phones more frequently if technology had advanced as much as it has when they were younger? I think it's subjective really too. Older adults might have more demanding jobs, more responsibilities in life, so the frequency they check their phones diminishes as a result. Millennials might have dead-end jobs (an issue for another day) that don't intrigue them, so boredom shoots up and you can't really sit doing sweet frigg all in an office, shop, wherever for hours on end. - This is purely hypothetical, but the indignance is mighty

I know plenty of people older than me who constantly post and comment on the book of faces a lot more frequently than I do.

Permabear wrote: »

Why? The phone use habits of young people in Ireland don't seem markedly different to people in other countries.

The reasoning behind my venturing a guess - based purely on bias, I believe Irish youths are much more likely to live more active, less solitary lives than say the States. Which gives them less time to check their phones to that level. When you compare local clubs (GAA, Hurling, Camogie), five-a-side, closer knit communities and families to what the case might be in the US (I'm open to correction cos I'm not worldly and make assumptions). And I'd imagine the number would soar higher in a country such as Japan, where technology use is portrayed as super loads (again worldly).

Also, I'm aware that my responses might be a bit rambly, but hopefully my points come across in some manner that makes sense