My roommate stinks really bad. Help!

TimeUp

Hi everyone.

So here is the deal, I have been sharing my room with this lad for the last three days and I can't take it anymore. Windows are kept wide open since I wake up and until he goes to sleep (he shuts them at that time).

When he came to view the room I didn't notice anything strange, when I cross him outside the bedroom it doesn't feel that strong, but the bedroom smells like a mix of cattle, dirty socks and I would say even a whiff of **** ever since he arrived and it does intensify when he is inside, so it has to be him or something he carries around.

As a result of open windows the whole time, either it gets desperate cold or a battalion of mosquitoes enters the room and feasts on me (I pointed this out to him and he said they don't bite, I assume that smell has some use after all).

What I want is to find a solution that might weaken the smell so I can breathe happily (I wouldn't like to have to use chemical products, either to mask the smell nor to kill my roommy since both things seem unhealthy and unethical to me).

Ideally I wouldn't like to have to keep windows open all day either, so I don't freeze or get attacked by mosquitoes everyday.

I invoke the wisdom of boards.ie to help me out with this.

I am not seriously considering a way to raise the question, that would be extremely awkward and my plan z.

I am thinking, perhaps some homemade, harmless, natural, ancient, Irish remedy concocted over the generations and conceived for these kind of situations, like rubbing a lemon against the walls,or eating some herb that makes you immune to the odour, casting a spell around his bed...

Anything will help.

mikeecho

Blast him with piss

riffmongous

Baking soda, buckets of it, everywhere

Ulysses Gaze

mikeecho wrote: »

Blast him with piss

The solution to all of life's problems.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Aw would you ever grow a pair and tell him there's a hum in the room, and to get his manky clothes and socks into the wash. I assume he pays the same rent as you do, why should you have to live like a rat in a hole?

Mrs OBumble

Clothes peg on your nose.

deco nate

Did you ever think of making you're own blue cheese in the bedroom? Get rid of the smell plus make some money on the side at farmer's market? Win win

deco nate

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Aw would you ever grow a pair and tell him there's a hum in the room, and to get his manky clothes and socks into the wash. I assume he pays the same rent as you do, why should you have to live like a rat in a hole?

See my reply above this;)

tupenny

Fcuk . Ive never been bitten by mosquitoes or even stung by a wasp etc.. But I always have this fear i smell. Its me. Isn't it

Junkyard Tom

I say we take-off and nuke the entire site from orbit.

retro:electro

If it's only day 3 op and it stinks already then it doesn't bode well. Chop off your nose.

Karangue

Give him a traveller shower, buy a can of Africa lynx.

wonski

Mosquitos??? I haven't seen one lately. Not to mention more than one...

jonon9

mikeecho wrote: »

Blast him with piss

Clear or golden?

mikeecho

jonon9 wrote: »

Clear or golden?

All depends, does he just smell, or is he dirty.

It's it just smell alone, I'd go Clear.

If hes a duurty feicer, well he'll need a Golden shower.

Why is simply telling him plan Z?

I'd say it. No way would I put up with that. Why? To spare the feelings of the fellow who doesn't care about mine enough to stop stinking out the room?

John_D80

If people are genuinely looking for advice on how to deal with a delicate situation, why the hell would they look for it in AH?

Jobs OXO

TimeUp wrote: »

Hi everyone.

So here is the deal, I have been sharing my room with this lad for the last three days and I can't take it anymore. Windows are kept wide open since I wake up and until he goes to sleep (he shuts them at that time).

When he came to view the room I didn't notice anything strange, when I cross him outside the bedroom it doesn't feel that strong, but the bedroom smells like a mix of cattle, dirty socks and I would say even a whiff of **** ever since he arrived and it does intensify when he is inside, so it has to be him or something he carries around.

As a result of open windows the whole time, either it gets desperate cold or a battalion of mosquitoes enters the room and feasts on me (I pointed this out to him and he said they don't bite, I assume that smell has some use after all).

What I want is to find a solution that might weaken the smell so I can breathe happily (I wouldn't like to have to use chemical products, either to mask the smell nor to kill my roommy since both things seem unhealthy and unethical to me).

Ideally I wouldn't like to have to keep windows open all day either, so I don't freeze or get attacked by mosquitoes everyday.

I invoke the wisdom of boards.ie to help me out with this.

I am not seriously considering a way to raise the question, that would be extremely awkward and my plan z.

I am thinking, perhaps some homemade, harmless, natural, ancient, Irish remedy concocted over the generations and conceived for these kind of situations, like rubbing a lemon against the walls,or eating some herb that makes you immune to the odour, casting a spell around his bed...

Anything will help.

Is he a bogger? Sounds like a bogger. They are often filthy, dirty, smelly animals with deviant sexual ways. Greasy as well. Wouldn't let one in the house let alone share a room with one of the swine.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Start lighting incense sticks in the room, if he complains about the smell of them, just say that the place has suddenly become smelly and that you need to exterminate it pronto.

kielmanator

What was that one ages ago that caught on like wildfire along with blast them with piss?

...seems relevant here somehow

Tilikum

Just tell him. Be very polite about.

DopeTech

Does he shower?

ixoy

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I say we take-off and nuke the entire site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

Day Lewin

Lads are lads. They say things like "Hey, are those your stinky socks?" all the time.


Out-perform him:
Fart a lot.
Every time he enters the room, throw the windows open with dramatic flourish.
Leave large can of air freshener in conspicuous place.
Gather his smelly socks into a rank pile and leave it on his pillow or outside the door.

Geronimo!

Nabber

Drop the bombshell OP.
What nationality is this lad... People won't judge you, so long as he is a White Christian Male.

Malayalam

I wouldn't be able to tolerate it for a second, I have the world's most acute sense of smell. If you genuinely cannot tell him, then use essential oils in a burner to tide you over the time you spend looking for somewhere else to sleep. Yuck.

beertons

Don't share a room with a guy.

myshirt

Mock up a newspaper and leave it in view. Front page headline "SHOWERING: THE LATEST CRAZE SWEEPING THE NATION. WE INVESTIGATE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT"

ahnowbrowncow

All your clothes are going stink now too. People in your work/college will be starting a thread about you soon, their smelly colleague.

corner of hells

The solution is easy , just stop showering, don't wash or change your clothes, in fact don't wipe you're arse after a hostage release.

It'll be difficult for a while, keep us posted.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Just tell him that he needs to address his personal hygiene or wash his clothes more often as there is a bad smell. Be polite but firm.

uch

Get one of the essential oil burners and burn eucalyptus oil in it, if he says anything say it's for yer nose, might get the hint

dont bother

what the hell? is this a real thing?
OP buy a can of air freshener!? it's that easy. simple. close thread

wakka12

Its not that awkward to say it to him. Personally I think hes the rude one going around smelling of literal **** and expecting you to put up with it and not say anything. Hot daily showers and cheap nice smelling shampoos are a privilege of the era we live in that we should all avail of. No excuse for being a smelly bastard in 2017

Boom_Bap

"Hey new roommate, I don't mean to sound bad here, but the bang of benji off you is rank, sort it out".


if that doesn't work, consider burning the house down.

uch

dont bother wrote: »

what the hell? is this a real thing?
OP buy a can of air freshener!? it's that easy. simple. close thread

Already said they don't want to use chemicals

dont bother

uch wrote: »

Already said they don't want to use chemicals

so get a few flowers or something and put them in a bottle with a spray on it.

i dunno - the whole thread's ridiculous. the OP has stated that he doesnt want any of the "normal" solutions ie: telling yer man to wash, or "using chemicals"....

plenty of worse chemicals in the air outside than the odd spray of a febreeze.

Fire.

donegal.

wd40

and if that doesn't work try duct tape

JollyBustard

Furiously masturbate every time he walks into the room and say you have a fetish for rank smells?

TimeUp

Oh god, it has gotten worse and I am going to have to tell him. He does shower and I have seen a deodorant can on his shelf, still, I have started noticing the smell even when I cross him outside the bedroom, I literally fear the moment I have to get into the room to sleep and the odour is starting to pervade the whole house. But I don't know how to tell him.

Deleted User wrote: »

Why is simply telling him plan Z?

I'd say it. No way would I put up with that. Why? To spare the feelings of the fellow who doesn't care about mine enough to stop stinking out the room?

I can't swear but I would say he doesn't know he smells. If I knew he was doing it on purpose it would be different.

Jobs OXO wrote: »

Is he a bogger? Sounds like a bogger. They are often filthy, dirty, smelly animals with deviant sexual ways. Greasy as well. Wouldn't let one in the house let alone share a room with one of the swine.

He is from Waterford, does that qualify as a bogger?

Nabber wrote: »

Drop the bombshell OP.
What nationality is this lad... People won't judge you, so long as he is a White Christian Male.

Irish.

So that's that. I have made up my mind and I HAVE to tell him, I can't put up with this for much longer. I am thinking over the best way to bring it up:

I have thought of first asking him whether there is anything he would like me to change or something that I may be doing that makes living together difficult, so once he says "no, you are fine" I can drop the bombshell without him trying to hide behind an excuse of the sort "yeah but you do this or that"

But then how do I say it in a sympathetic and effective manner? That's what I am not sure about yet.

Something like "I don't know if anyone ever told you, and if they didn't maybe you will appreciate it, because there is a funny smell about you and I think maybe if you washed your bed linning or your clothes or had a hot shower with some strong soap, rubbed really strong around your smelly areas, it would improve your life and the life of those around you."

Or: "Ok, the thing is, as nice a lad as you are and as much as I enjoy your company, I need help with something and only you can do it, there is somewhat of a strong smell about you, not so bad when you are just walking around but the bedroom smells quite strong, I have a hard time standing it, and I would like you to try and change it, I don't know if you know about this or if you would like some suggestion about what I think might be a good way to deal with it, but I kind of need it sorted cause life is getting rough for me"

Or: "Do you have any animals? Did they usually sleep under your blanket with you or something? Ok, can I be honest with you? Cause maybe it is just your bedding set but you smell weird and the bedroom too. Is there anything you can do about it?"

Maybe he has an illness that makes him smell?

English is not my first language so I would appreciate any suggestion of how to put it in a more polite, friendly yet not vague way.

Bacchus

TimeUp wrote: »

But then how do I say it in a sympathetic and effective manner? That's what I am not sure about yet.

Rose are red,
Mosquitos do bite,
I just have to tell you,
you smell like sh*te

laugh

Jesus I'd rather live under a bridge than share a room with someone I wasn't shagging.

backspin.

Revenge.. drink guinness for days on end then close the windows and let the guinness farts reign. It will be unbearable.

donegal.

laugh wrote: »

Jesus I'd rather live under a bridge than share a room with someone I wasn't shagging.

thats not a bad solution.

once you become lovers you can suggest showering together.

Raging_Ninja

Just tell him "dude you really need to wash your clothes coz they stink". If he tries any excuses tell him that he's a grown man and you're not his mother and you can't believe you have to tell him to wash himself. No bullshít, no messing about, just blunt honesty.

He doesn't have the decency to respect your comfort, so you don't need to respect him.

BrokenArrows

Just man up and tell the smelly bastard to have a shower.

jamesbere

Kill him, but make sure to dispose of the body before it smells

Put this in your house. Strongest odor eliminator in the free world
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ona-Gel-Pro-1-Liter/dp/B00AC1N4DM

TimeUp

I told him! And what is even more incredible it doesn't almost smell at all now, that's some feat

368100

TimeUp wrote: »

I told him! And what is even more incredible it doesn't almost smell at all now, that's some feat

How did he take it?