Pregnancy claim is destroying my life

Sleather678

I'm a very worried frightened man as I had a one night stand with a woman 2 weeks ago. I wore protection and I'm 100% certain it didn't leaked or break as it was full. Sorry it graphic. I'm a hardworking, kind lad and good hearted for a good background. I think she from a broken background.

This woman who I want no contact or anything to do with texted me on Monday saying "she is 4 days late" and that I'm to own up for my responsibilities and that she's pregnant with my baby. I texted her to say that there's no way that's she pregnant. She said I'm pregnant and seeing doctor on Friday about it. I am pregnant you hear.

Friday comes and she texted that her doctor confirmed that she is pregnant. I asked her can I have the name of your doctor and confirmation of this pregnancy and would she be willing to go to positiveoptions counselling? She said look I keep baby then have DNA test then you can keep it. I was shocked about that.

She said why don't we travel over together and stay overnight? Then said she want to get rid of it but I must pay for it. She said there's a clinic over there in London and can do it for all with trips at 900 euro. She want to bring friend. I said I come with my close friend. Then she said no. I said we go over and do it. She rejected that saying that I would be wasting my time sitting in a waiting room. That stupid.

There was no winning or agreeing with her. 2 hours later she texted saying I want this done asap and go over Tuesday, go half and give me 450 euro. I was like what. Well do you want to keep this baby and I'll turn up on your door 9 months later and you're going to have to pay for it for the rest of your life. I don't want. Pay before I change my mind.

I rang her to get this all straight but she roared down the phone saying she can't deal with all and I better get on with it now before she change her mind.

I collapsed with shame and panics and vomited. The stress of all this Have taken a toll on my health and life. Im sick with fear

She texted to pay €200 on Friday would book her flights and accommodation and that will get the ball rolling. I agreed to pay €200 to her that night and she need other €250 on Sunday to complete trip.

I told my close friend in desperation and she think she lying and blackmailing me. Also said hold off €250 unless she prove it. But I told her she want it all sorted. Then i phoned her can she prove it with a pregnancy test. She said ah Jesus im ****ing pregnant, are you ****ing thick or what. Pay it before i change my mind and i keep the baby and come after you to look after it.

I want to know

1. Have I the right to know her pregnancy officially
2. Have I the right to demand who her doctor is and find out from there?
3. Have I the right to have this proved?

I feel men and severely victimised here. I'm very sick now from this horrific shocking ordeal. I will never want a woman ever again in my life. Ever.

This is a horrible horrible stressful time i am having.

Tenigate

I reckon she's trying to squeeze money out of you.

Ignore her.

dudara

Am I correct that you only had sex 2 weeks ago? The timing seems very odd

A_Sober_Paddy

Same thing happened a buddy of mine, she claimed to be pregnant, he ignored her requests for money, until baby was born.

The baby never arrived, she allegedly had a miscarriage. She never showed, had no proof of pregnancy.

She was crazy

RoisinClare6

Do not hand over money. That's what she seems to be after.

frag420

Ask for her details and tell her you will book the flights for her and her friend on your credit card...if she is still saying no then she is pulling a fast one OP!!

Sleather678

About 2 half weeks ago

Teyla Emmagan

This is a total scam. Do not give her any money. She is probably not pregnant and if she is it's not yours.

Teyla Emmagan

Sleather678 wrote:

I feel men and severely victimised here. I'm very sick now from this horrific shocking ordeal. I will never want a woman ever again in my life. Ever.

And you probably shouldn't be having sex if you can't deal with the consequences.

Ursus Horribilis

frag420 wrote: »

Ask for her details and tell her you will book the flights for her and her friend on your credit card...if she is still saying no then she is pulling a fast one OP!!

I wouldn't do this. She'd just take off to London with her mate and have a holiday at the OP's expense.

Like everyone else here, I believe she is lying. And if she is genuinely pregnant (a possibility), the child isn't yours.

Sleather678

When i handed her the money last night, she said she putting it in her post savings account to put it on her card in the morning (today) and will book the flights and etc... and she will show me proof. I'm yet waiting for it.

But i never heard that - "put money in PO account to put it on the card"

bee06

It would be very easy for her to show you a positive pregnancy test if she was actually pregnant. I'd say she's making the whole thing up.

Sleather678

I'm thinking the scam but then my head is wrecked and i cant think straight. I feel if i give here remaining tomorrow she will probably say she changed her mind and keeping it and come back again later.

I can't believe I've been very very stupid, im absolutely devastated and frightened.

Ursus Horribilis

If you engage with her again, do it in person and bring a friend along with you. You're so petrified this wagon's going to walk all over you.

Sleather678

Yes I might do this and see.

Sleather678

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

And you probably shouldn't be having sex if you can't deal with the consequences.

I wont be in future after this ordeal. I know now

Sleather678

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Same thing happened a buddy of mine, she claimed to be pregnant, he ignored her requests for money, until baby was born.

The baby never arrived, she allegedly had a miscarriage. She never showed, had no proof of pregnancy.

She was crazy

Did he go through a bad time dealing with this?

weldoninhio

Sleather678 wrote: »

<Snip> Please don't quote the entire post.

She is scamming you. Cut all contact. You are down €200 already, tell her that's all she is getting.

neonsofa

As a mother of kids, one with a totally absent father I can assure you, even if she was pregnant which I highly doubt she is, she will not be able to force you to care for the child. Even in financial terms it is quite easy to avoid, not that I am advocating that at all!! Just pointing out that her "plan" is bull**** regardless of all the rest. Don't give her any more money. What an awful person. Even if she was pregnant the decision should be something ye discuss together as adults, not something she demands from you/blackmail out of you.

sallyanne12

I feel really sad reading your post op because you sound desperately naive. There is no way she is pregnant with your child. I'm guessing she isn't pregnant at all and she is just trying to get money from you. She wants money and that's all. There's a tiny chance she's pregnant but it's not even your child if she is so insist on a DNA test to get that awful woman out of your life. I don't think it's even possible to show up as pregnant only 2 weeks after having sex. The doctors pregnancy tests aren't even sensitive. And she had no proof for you so ignore her and stop showing her your fear. SHE IS NOT PREGNANT. (again if she shows proof, relax and don't panic for 9 months. DO NOT LET HER KNOCK YOU DOWN. It's not ur baby. I would be shocked if it was...) so cut her out of your life and talk to your friends as they will reassure you of this. if she continues, id probably report her. It's such an awful thing to make false pregnancy claims. She's essentially robbing you! and she's clearly bullying you too. She knows you don't want her baby so she's threatening you into saying you will have to pay for it for life. There is no baby. Don't give her a cent

LegacyUser

Highly doubt she's pregnant and if pregnant highly doubts it's yours. Two things it's either a total scam for money or she is getting you to pay for the abortion of a pregnancy you aren't responsible for. Even if she's pregnant don't give her a penny. She's playing on your fears

Big Bag of Chips

She's not pregnant, and if she is it's not yours. It's also very likely you're not the only one she's getting money from. Block her number. She has already scammed €200 out of you.

Her demeanour and tone come across as someone who knows exactly what she's doing, not someone caught on the hop and struggling to make sense of it all and make arrangements. If she is pregnant, she was pregnant before she had sex with you. Maybe she does want an abortion, and maybe the father told her to piss off, so she found a different "daddy" to pay for it instead.

whatnext

Does anyone not think the Gardai should be involved? Surely this is extortion? She could be playing dozens of people at any one time.

Shadow1983

Big Bag of Chips wrote:

She's not pregnant, and if she is it's not yours. It's also very likely you're not the only one she's getting money from. Block her number. She has already scammed €200 out of you.

Big Bag of Chips wrote:

Her demeanour and tone come across as someone who knows exactly what she's doing, not someone caught on the hop and struggling to make sense of it all and make arrangements. If she is pregnant, she was pregnant before she had sex with you. Maybe she does want an abortion, and maybe the father told her to piss off, so she found a different "daddy" to pay for it instead.

100% agree with this, what a con artist, disgusting what people will try to do for money.

Colser

Try turning it around on her...tell her you've thought about it and told your family and they've said that they'll be happy to support you with the baby.

Eire Go Brach

Its prostitution now that your paid her. No way is she pregnant. Your being scammed. Was it good sex?

alchemist33

Don't give her another cent.

Tell her if and when there's a baby you'll support it but until then you owe her nothing. If you can afford a solicitor you could tell her to route all correspondence through them.

(Note if it wasnt pretty clear this woman is after money I wouldn't be advocating such an approach)

The_Valeyard

It's a scam. Dont pay her a penny. You are probably one of many guys she has tried this stunt with.

Neyite

It is possible to get a positive pregnancy test 2.5 weeks after intercourse, but only just. She's got her timings spot on I must say. Like others, I think you've been scammed by someone who's done this before.

A doctor rarely does tests to confirm anymore because the pharmacy tests are far more accurate than the GP's ones. My GP just believed me when I told her I had a positive test and did up the ante-natal letter based on me saying I had a positive test. The fertility clinic took me at my word too over the phone and it was a full 3 weeks later before it was officially confirmed with an early private scan.

In theory she can say she's pregnant right up until the point she should be showing a bump because her medical stuff is her business and she doesn't have to share it with anybody.

She can easily find a picture of a positive test or even a scan photo online and pass it off as her own. If she was really determined she could get a urine sample off a pregnant friend, meet you and do a fresh test in a pub toilet and let you see a test develop into a positive result.

Stop worrying. Don't give her any more money. Wait and see.

Jobs OXO

Sleather678 wrote: »

I'm thinking the scam but then my head is wrecked and i cant think straight. I feel if i give here remaining tomorrow she will probably say she changed her mind and keeping it and come back again later.

I can't believe I've been very very stupid, im absolutely devastated and frightened.

Well you need to take responsibility for your actions and if she is carrying your child then you need to assist financially

s15r330

Jobs OXO wrote: »

Well you need to take responsibility for your actions and if she is carrying your child then you need to assist financially

OP do not listen to the likes of this.
That yoke is no more pregnant than I am (i'm a male).

I'd get a couple of friends and find her and gently persuade her to hand back the €200 that she has swindled out of you.

Do not give her anothet cent.

bee06

s15r330 wrote: »

I'd get a couple of friends and find her and gently persuade her to hand back the €200 that she has swindled out of you.

Do not give her anothet cent.

Yeah, that would look great for the OP. Three men confronting a supposedly pregnant women to get money off her that the OP handed over already. She'll be claiming then the stress and fright caused a miscarriage.

He needs to write off the 200 Euro and have no further dealings with her.

s15r330

bee06 wrote: »

Yeah, that would look great for the OP. Three men confronting a supposedly pregnant women to get money off her that the OP handed over already. She'll be claiming then the stress and fright caused a miscarriage.

He needs to write off the 200 Euro and have no further dealings with her.

She's a thieving (not pregnant) scumbag. I'd be getting my €200 one way or the other.

Wesser

This i s a scam and you know it!!!

You just need to wait and hold the line.

The way you know she is lying is that she says she will hand the baby over the moment it is born a d it'll be yours completely. No mother would do this voluntarily or without a very strong reason ... cut contact completely.

Just stay posting here with us and keep us up dated and we will support you.

xzanti

Sleather678 wrote: »

There was no winning or agreeing with her. 2 hours later she texted saying I want this done asap and go over Tuesday

Well that's BS, a termination cannot be performed any earlier than 6 weeks into a pregnancy.

You only slept with her 2 weeks ago according to you.

dudara

@s15r330 - condoning or suggesting violence or "persuasion" is not allowed here. Posts should be constructive and helpful to the OP

dudara

uck51js9zml2yt

If she wants an abortion in a certain clinic she should be able to give you the name of it and the time of her booking and you offer to pay it directly to them.
If her claim is true she'll have no problems with that offer.

ligerdub

Her decision, her payment. Would you have a say if you wanted to keep the baby and she didn't? No.

As pretty much everyone else says, this is a scam. She's not going to go ahead with a pregnancy and a baby over a few hundred euro. If she can't afford that she can't afford a baby.

This friend and overnight stay in London is a proper red flag too.....not to mention her refusal to have you there....the biggest red flag of them all.

The whole thing is bollox and feeding off your vulnerability and concerns.

ligerdub

Eliana Thundering Tribe wrote:

If she wants an abortion in a certain clinic she should be able to give you the name of it and the time of her booking and you offer to pay it directly to them. If her claim is true she'll have no problems with that offer.

Exactly. This to me seems like the fairest solution.

Sleather678

whatnext wrote: »

Does anyone not think the Gardai should be involved? Surely this is extortion? She could be playing dozens of people at any one time.

I'm thinking about that.

Sleather678

Sorry I wasn't on last 2 hours as I was too upset and feeling sick. Stressed out to bit. Just Im torn to bits over it. She said she will have proof of bookings this morning and yet nothing yet so far today. Im expecting her to text me tomorrow.

I know you are all gonna hate this. She knows where I live. The fear is too much. From all what you said, I am 90% certain now she is scamming me. Other thing is if I pay her tomorrow the 250, that will be it and end of it. If I heard from her again, I will know that this is BS and 100% scam and I wont be getting involved or talking/ texting to her ever again. Will have her blocked.

I want to thank everyone of you for your inputs and messages.

Sleather678

ligerdub wrote: »

Her decision, her payment. Would you have a say if you wanted to keep the baby and she didn't? No.

As pretty much everyone else says, this is a scam. She's not going to go ahead with a pregnancy and a baby over a few hundred euro. If she can't afford that she can't afford a baby.

This friend and overnight stay in London is a proper red flag too.....not to mention her refusal to have you there....the biggest red flag of them all.

The whole thing is bollox and feeding off your vulnerability and concerns.

Im starting to see that. You are right. Just hard to think straight with this heavy heavy burden over me.

Sleather678

Eliana Thundering Tribe wrote: »

If she wants an abortion in a certain clinic she should be able to give you the name of it and the time of her booking and you offer to pay it directly to them.
If her claim is true she'll have no problems with that offer.

Gonna hold onto that next time I hear from her. Sound good.

Sleather678

sallyanne12 wrote: »

I feel really sad reading your post op because you sound desperately naive. There is no way she is pregnant with your child. I'm guessing she isn't pregnant at all and she is just trying to get money from you. She wants money and that's all. There's a tiny chance she's pregnant but it's not even your child if she is so insist on a DNA test to get that awful woman out of your life. I don't think it's even possible to show up as pregnant only 2 weeks after having sex. The doctors pregnancy tests aren't even sensitive. And she had no proof for you so ignore her and stop showing her your fear. SHE IS NOT PREGNANT. (again if she shows proof, relax and don't panic for 9 months. DO NOT LET HER KNOCK YOU DOWN. It's not ur baby. I would be shocked if it was...) so cut her out of your life and talk to your friends as they will reassure you of this. if she continues, id probably report her. It's such an awful thing to make false pregnancy claims. She's essentially robbing you! and she's clearly bullying you too. She knows you don't want her baby so she's threatening you into saying you will have to pay for it for life. There is no baby. Don't give her a cent

Yes, you are right, I am stupidly naive. Even angry with myself over that. Always too f****** nice, knocked the life out of me and will never be this stupid ever again. I know Im going to have a hard time trusting anyone again. Ever. This have killed me massively.

Shadow1983

Sleather678 wrote:

Other thing is if I pay her tomorrow the 250, that will be it and end of it.

Please don't give her any more money!!

Sleather678

Shadow1983 wrote: »

Please don't give her any more money!!

I'm trying not to, i don't want to but I'm hoping it buy me peace of mind. That "peace of mind" is my life, it what i want and if i don't pay her, i have to live in fear for next 9 months which i will die from.

I really have been stupid.

Sadb

Please do not give this woman any more money. This is 100% scam. If she were pregnant (which she is not) then she would only be 4.5weeks. An abortion clinic would not carry out any abortion at that very early stage. It's best recommended between 8-12 weeks but most will carry them out from 6 weeks. Also there is no way she could get an appointment that fast, that's just not possible.

Sleather678

Shadow1983 wrote: »

Please don't give her any more money!!

Would you all agree if I tell her tomorrow that I'll pay the abortion fee at the clinic over the phone and she wont have to pay it when she get there. She should give me time and place and I'll book it.

Think this be a good idea? If she say no then that it, I'm shutting her down on the spot.

Sleather678

Sadb wrote: »

Please do not give this woman any more money. This is 100% scam. If she were pregnant (which she is not) then she would only be 4.5weeks. An abortion clinic would not carry out any abortion at that very early stage. It's best recommended between 8-12 weeks but most will carry them out from 6 weeks. Also there is no way she could get an appointment that fast, that's just not possible.

She said it two tablets to take 6 hours apart at this stage.

Sadb

If she persists tell her that the only way you are going to contribute is by going to the uk also. You pay your airfare, she pays hers and you can each pay half of the abortion fee directly to the abortion clinic when at the abortion clinic. Tell her that if that does not suit then she is on her own. If she did agree to the above I would recommend you bring a friend as support and rational opinion.

Sadb

Sleather678 wrote: »

She said it two tablets to take 6 hours apart at this stage.

Yes it is tablets but still not carried out at such an early stage.