Lonely

Irishgirl12396

As sad as it may sound, I don't really have any friends. I have one long term good friend who will be moving abroad shortly. I'm 21, just finished college and don't get me wrong I was always going out with my class and I have a great boyfriend, but I'm so shy that I was never able to turn my 'college friends' into actual friends. I would love to have a few female friends to talk to and have nights out with but I really don't know how to go about making lasting friends now that I am finished college. Any advice on ways to meet new people in Dublin? I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself but it really gets me down when I see people with groups of friends and I'm alone.

Starkystark

Hi OP,

I could have wrote a similar thread - back when I was 21 and I was minus a boyfriend! Don't be so hard on yourself. I have a few really really good friends that I have "collected" over the years - I rarely go out with a big group like those endorsed by social media and I'm ok with that; because I know the friends I do have are proper ones.

I get the whole wanting to meet and have chats - I too was very shy and still can be but if it's one thing I realised was that I can't wait for the invitations for this to happen. I have to invite and initiate. This is how you make more lasting friendships.

You're lucky your in Dublin - you have so much more opportunities to get out there. Try GirlCrew. Best of luck OP

SHELDON88

Where abouts in the country are you Irishgirl?

stargazing123

Irishgirl12396 wrote: »

As sad as it may sound, I don't really have any friends. I have one long term good friend who will be moving abroad shortly. I'm 21, just finished college and don't get me wrong I was always going out with my class and I have a great boyfriend, but I'm so shy that I was never able to turn my 'college friends' into actual friends. I would love to have a few female friends to talk to and have nights out with but I really don't know how to go about making lasting friends now that I am finished college. Any advice on ways to meet new people in Dublin? I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself but it really gets me down when I see people with groups of friends and I'm alone.

Hey, I don't have any friends either so we are both in the same boat. Like you I just have my boyfriend to talk to who is a great guy btw:) When I see people in groups in the pubs or in restaurants or even shopping in Cork and they are all laughing and talking about their day I feel very lonely too. You should talk to people around whether it's in a shop or in a club just talk to them about anything. You should also remember that some girls don't get on great with other girls but they are like best pals with boys. Hope this helps x

nikpmup

I went through a really bad period of loneliness after my husband died. I was living alone in Laois and I was cripplingly lonely.
I took a punt and joined a book club. Forcing myself to go the first time was really hard, but I'm so glad I did, having a social outlet saved my life. I've made a couple of really good friends out of it.
Loneliness can make you insular. Force yourself to get out there, join a club or a class, talk to people and be honest that part of the reason you signed up was the hope that you'd meet new friends. You'll find that there are others in the same boat, or, if they're not, you might find that people will make more of an effort to connect with you. I don't think that most people are unkind or deliberately ignore re others, they're just caught up in their own lives. It's okay to ask people to be nice to you - we don't really do it often enough, and most people would respond positively if we did. (Not sure if I'm making sense, but basically, put yourself out there, tell people what you want and you may get positive results!)

rantyface

I made some good friends in my twenties, and I wasn't trying to it just happened. Mainly from playing music, so if you sing or play anything that could be an option. Also you might make friends in work. It's hard to do, and I feel like it is actively discouraged by management in most companies, but I became friends with two people in my last job. If you're only starting in your career try to work somewhere with people your age and suggest you all go for a drink after work on Fridays.
House shares have been lucky for me. I made friends through them and we all still visit each other even though we moved in with our partners. House shares can be hell.
Although you're a bit young for this, as I got older I found couples wanted to hang out with couples, so my boyfriend and I sometimes socialise as a couple with others that we know through work and hobbies. It hasn't lead to any real friendships in my case, but it's pleasant.
And as the above poster said, lots of people are open to making new friends so don't be shy. Sometimes you outgrow your friends and need new ones, sometimes people move cities and need new friends, sometimes people have bad break ups or when their children get older they suddenly have free time. There are lots of really nice and funny people who just for whatever reason are floating about.

ccardoso33

I completely relate and unfortunately have no advice for you just a bit of reassurance you are not alone!

I am 24, have a nearly 3 old and I am due my 2nd in April. I have an amazing partner and family nearby and I get involved with the local tennis club and playgroups but have no "real" friends as such.

I loved in England for university and work and obviously have lost the friends I have made there. When I came back to Ireland all my school friends had their own lives just like me so we never reconnected and now that I'm in North Dublin I see them even less.

Don't get me wrong, I love my expanding family, my partner and where I live so I feel a bit greedy and ungrateful when I say that I wouldn't mind having a few friends to meet up with for coffee or walks to break up the monotony.

Just keep getting out there and doing what you enjoy and I'm sure things will sort themselves out. That's my plan anyway!