Would you like to have children?

snowflaker

This is a question for those currently without child. (Might be a bit awkward otherwise)

I'm single male gay late thirties and don't plan on having or adopting children.

Some people go on about carrying on your bloodline:legacy but I just say I'm not a royal dynasty- I don't think the world requires it.

So boardsies sans child would you like to have children?

Wanderer2010

Nope and never will. I have no interest in having or raising kids. There seems to be a very pervasive attitude of "oh whats wrong with you, everyone wants kids" from other, mostly older people but meh, its my life not yours. One thing I have noticed of late is the amount of guys in their 20s who have young families, which personally I think is way too young to be tied down but who knows, maybe they have their reasons. Not for me though.

me_irl

Don't mind either way

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Nope and never will. I have no interest in having or raising kids. There seems to be a very pervasive attitude of "oh whats wrong with you, everyone wants kids" from other, mostly older people but meh, its my life not yours. One thing I have noticed of late is the amount of guys in their 20s who have young families, which personally I think is way too young to be tied down but who knows, maybe they have their reasons. Not for me though.

Completely agree with you.

And yet, when a childfree forum on boards was requested it was denied. :rolleyes:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057249364

Stigura

Don't mind either way

No, mate. Asked for the snip when I was eighteen. They told me to wait and come back later. In my early twenties, I asked the GP. She asked why.

" Because I don't foresee this world as being fit to bring a child into. Look at the future. "

Scratch, scribble. 'Take This to the clinic .....'

Job done. I was bang on the money, wasn't I?

Well we have a child. But maybe not the usual tale. Started going out in our teens. Married at 29. Had hoped for a child, in fact lots of kids...but years passed and thought maybe it wasn't meant to be. And then we had a little miracle when we were 40. So maybe I have an idea of both worlds, because we had kinda resigned ourselves to a life without kids.

I really enjoyed my life before baby arrived, my wife and I had lots of fun, choices, could go out whenever we wanted, money was not an issue. Now everything is different. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute...but still don't like the way society almost prescribes that you should have a kid, ad after ad on tv is family oriented, people talk about themselves as parents as if that gives them some validation, people almost lose their personality and sense of self after they become parents. So fully respect those who say it's not for them.

Dirty Dingus McGee

me_irl wrote: »

Completely agree with you.

And yet, when a childfree forum on boards was requested it was denied. :rolleyes:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057249364

Not really a good idea for a forum.

I don't think being child free is something people talk about.It just happens to be the way people are.

The 3 people on my team in work that have children talk about them alot, me and the other fella on the team that don't have children don't talk about us not having children because it isn't actually a topic you can really discuss.

McMurphy

me_irl wrote: »

Completely agree with you.

And yet, when a childfree forum on boards was requested it was denied. :rolleyes:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057249364

The very first reply to the OP summed up quite well why it was eventually refused tbh

me_irl

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Not really a good idea for a forum.

I don't think being child free is something people talk about.It just happens to be the way people are.

The 3 people on my team in work that have children talk about them alot, me and the other fella on the team that don't have children don't talk about us not having children because it isn't actually a topic you can really discuss.

Kind of contradictory then, no?

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

I don't think I'd get the snip (far less likely to be involved in a crisis pregnancy tbf)

Thats interesting, never thought of that as an option for those heterosexual couples that don't want children.

Dirty Dingus McGee

me_irl wrote: »

Kind of contradictory then, no?

No.

shaunr68

Don't mind either way

No. Neither the missus nor I have ever wanted kids. Late 40s now so it's never going to happen. Financially and in terms of having the freedom to enjoy your life, it's the best decision we ever made.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Not really a good idea for a forum.

I don't think being child free is something people talk about.It just happens to be the way people are.

The 3 people on my team in work that have children talk about them alot, me and the other fella on the team that don't have children don't talk about us not having children because it isn't actually a topic you can really discuss.

Some people are childless by choice tbf.

batistuta9

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well we have a child. But maybe not the usual tale. Started going out in our teens. Married at 29. Had hoped for a child, in fact lots of kids...but years passed and thought maybe it wasn't meant to be. And then we had a little miracle when we were 40. So maybe I have an idea of both worlds, because we had kinda resigned ourselves to a life without kids.

I really enjoyed my life before baby arrived, my wife and I had lots of fun, choices, could go out whenever we wanted, money was not an issue. Now everything is different. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute...but still don't like the way society almost prescribes that you should have a kid, ad after ad on tv is family oriented, people talk about themselves as parents as if that gives them some validation, people almost lose their personality and sense of self after they become parents. So fully respect those who say it's not for them.

Very honest, you probably have had the best of both worlds.

Went out with someone who had a kid, it was nightmare tbh.

me_irl

Don't mind either way

snowflaker wrote: »

Some people are childless by choice tbf.

ChildFREE!

Dirty Dingus McGee

snowflaker wrote: »

Some people are childless by choice tbf.

I meant that the situation of being childless (however it is arrived at) just is what it is.

Don't mind either way

Childfree by choice and very happy with life.

boardsuser1

Have 4 kids and hope for many more.

Started out at 21.

I know it's the opposite of the thread title but I can and can't understand some reasons.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

me_irl wrote: »

ChildFREE!

So Childfree is the term for people choosing to be childless. Never knew that!

eviltwin

I know quite a lot of people who have chosen not to have kids. It's no longer the default when you settle down. It's ridiculous people still get judged for it.

Dial Hard

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote:

I meant that the situation of being childless (however it is arrived at) just is what it is.

It really isn't, though. There's a vast chasm between being child-free by choice and childless by circumstance.

How Soon Is Now

You either do or you don't. I never understood why anyone would argue over it!?

Oh look at you ya big fool for having kids!
Or why don't you have a child what's wrong with you!

Ive two kids ya they drive me mental at times but I love them more then anything. I couldn't give ****e bout other people s kids so I can understand why some people choose not to have them.

It's a choice at end day sure your choice.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

I meant that the situation of being childless (however it is arrived at) just is what it is.

But some people actively chose it. So its not by circumstance, its a choice.

Wanderer78

na, lifes all good as is, parenting looks too damn hard

Wanderer2010

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

You either do or you don't. I never understood why anyone would argue over it!?

Oh look at you ya big fool for having kids!
Or why don't you have a child what's wrong with you!

Ive two kids ya they drive me mental at times but I love them more then anything. I couldn't give ****e bout other people s kids so I can understand why some people choose not to have them.

It's a choice at end day sure your choice.

That may be so but there is still a lot of judgment to people who don't have kids, especially women. Its not someone you can relate to because, well, you have kids.

Dirty Dingus McGee

snowflaker wrote: »

But some people actively chose it. So its not by circumstance, its be choice.

I'm referring to it as the state of being childless regardless of how you arrived there is essentially the same as a topic for discussion.

I would have thought there is already some sort of forum that deals with fertility issues and stuff like that.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Also I don't get the need for others to give me their blessing or admonish me for being childless.

Being a single man makes it far easier, I've seen childless women being given the third degree about it!

Hollister11

No

I'm 21, male and hope to have 3 - 5.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

I'm referring to it as the state of being childless regardless of how you arrived there is essentially the same as a topic for discussion.

I would have thought there is already some sort of forum that deals with fertility issues and stuff like that.

This isn't a fertility issue!

me_irl

Don't mind either way

snowflaker wrote: »

So Childfree is the term for people choosing to be childless. Never knew that!

Yup. (Apologies for the initial curt reply!)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary_childlessness

How Soon Is Now

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

That may be so but there is still a lot of judgment to people who don't have kids, especially women. Its not someone you can relate to because, well, you have kids.

I wasn't born with kids......

You can be judged on a lot of things in this world unfortunately. After a while you just got to say **** it it's my life.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Hollister11 wrote: »

I'm 21, male and hope to have 3 - 5.

Great, someone who actually read the OP!

Cool, I hope you do!

jimmytwotimes 2013

I have 2 children.

DM a reasonable offer and we can talk. No time wasters please.

Dial Hard

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote:

I'm referring to it as the state of being childless regardless of how you arrived there is essentially the same as a topic for discussion.

I would have thought there is already some sort of forum that deals with fertility issues and stuff like that.

I'm beginning to think you're being deliberately obtuse. Do you seriously think that a forum for discussing fertility issues is the appropriate place for people who have chosen to be child-free to discuss it?

Wanderer2010

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Nope and never will. I have no interest in having or raising kids. There seems to be a very pervasive attitude of "oh whats wrong with you, everyone wants kids" from other, mostly older people but meh, its my life not yours. One thing I have noticed of late is the amount of guys in their 20s who have young families, which personally I think is way too young to be tied down but who knows, maybe they have their reasons. Not for me though.

I'm near 30 and have had no BS about having kids. Honestly I've found a lot of the people who think there's a "thing" about it have something of a siege mentality about stuff.
As for the age of having kids, whatever works. You can start a family in your 30s, you'll be 60-odd by the time they've all ****ed off. Or have it all done by 30, free and clear by the time you're 50 and you should be in better shape to enjoy free time, grandkids, all that stuff.

Deleted User wrote: »

I really enjoyed my life before baby arrived, my wife and I had lots of fun, choices, could go out whenever we wanted, money was not an issue. Now everything is different. Don't get me wrong, I love every minute...but still don't like the way society almost prescribes that you should have a kid, ad after ad on tv is family oriented, people talk about themselves as parents as if that gives them some validation, people almost lose their personality and sense of self after they become parents. So fully respect those who say it's not for them.

Some do, some don't. It's like people who within 6 months of seeing someone is "we" this and "we" that. :pac:


I would like to have kids but it's finding someone to have them with that's the main issue.

KERSPLAT!

I always did and now I do, couldn't care less if others don't want to. He brings me a world of joy, many things bring many others the exact same. Do whatever suits you

Tauriel

I don't want and won't be having children. And no, I will not apologise for that.

KERSPLAT!

mustang shelly wrote: »

I don't want and won't be having children. And no, I will not apologise for that.

Did someone ask you to?

Dirty Dingus McGee

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'm beginning to think you're being deliberately obtuse. Do you seriously think that a forum for discussing fertility issues is the appropriate place for people who have chosen to be child-free to discuss it?

What I am saying is that choosing to be child free isn't really that wide a topic for discussion that it would need a forum for it.People don't really talk about being child free because there is nothing to discuss.

That was the point I was making and why I am sure that request for a child free forum was denied.

Tauriel

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Did someone ask you to?

Yep, anyone who ever asks me will I be having kids and I say no. So I thought I'd throw it out there straight away.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

me_irl wrote: »

ChildFREE!

Well I thought Childfree was childless by choice so that would have been redundant.

Yourself isit

No

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

That may be so but there is still a lot of judgment to people who don't have kids, especially women. Its not someone you can relate to because, well, you have kids.

Who is doing the judging though?

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

What I am saying is that choosing to be child free isn't really that wide a topic for discussion that it would need a forum for it.People don't really talk about being child free because there is nothing to discuss.

That was the point I was making and why I am sure that request for a child free forum was denied.

Seems there is quite a bit to discuss, from what I've read so far!

Dirty Dingus McGee

mustang shelly wrote: »

Yep, anyone who ever asks me will I be having kids and I say no. So I thought I'd throw it out there straight away.

And do they ask you to apologise for saying you don't want children?


Thats the part of the post the comment was referencing.

KERSPLAT!

mustang shelly wrote: »

Yep, anyone who ever asks me will I be having kids and I say no. So I thought I'd throw it out there straight away.

Someone asked you to apologise because you don't want to have kids?

There's far fetched and there's bull****.

I know some people who need to mind their own business often don't but I've never come across the above

McMurphy

snowflaker wrote: »

This isn't a fertility issue!

That's the main reason I don't get into it too much.

Me: Have you and the wife any kids yourself Tommy?
Tommy: No.
Me: Grand so........ Shyte weather isn't it.

Fcuk if I'm getting into the reasons for a husband and wife of eleven years or so still being child free.

Could be by choice, financial reasons or otherwise.
Could be medical reasons, fertility issues or whatever.

Either way. None of my business. Let Tommy tear away so.

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Did someone ask you to?

I did! THE OP! I asked for childless people's opinions and unsurprisingly parents felt the need to impart their wisdom upon us!

KERSPLAT!

snowflaker wrote: »

I did! THE OP! I asked for childless people's opinions and unsurprisingly parents felt the need to impart their wisdom upon us!

Did someone ask her to apologise was the question.

Burial.

I love kids and I'm great with kids but I'm in two minds over it. On one side it would be amazing to have your own kid, your own flesh and blood, a gift unlike anything else. But on the other side rearing a child is tough work, and there's no guarantee I'd make a good parent even if I'm good with other people's kids. And there's the whole mother part. Jesus I'd have to find one first which is easier said than done. I quite like being single, in fact I love it, and a one night stand child would be my biggest nightmare come true. I know children can thrive equally with separated parents but it's something I'd hate for my child, to have to be bouncing between parents and houses.

Yourself isit

No

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'm beginning to think you're being deliberately obtuse. Do you seriously think that a forum for discussing fertility issues is the appropriate place for people who have chosen to be child-free to discuss it?

What would people discuss though?

LirW

Tubal ligations and snips for everyone!

snowflaker

Don't mind either way

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Did someone ask her to apologise was the question.

I've seen people, especially women being backed into a corner on the issue, and have to defend, to the point of apologising for their opinion.