Just one message.........

Red F Warrior

What if that was all it would take to save a person's life?

There are so many people suffering from mental illness, physical problems, the loss of a loved one etc and so many are suicidal. Out of all our friends and followers on social media how many would send you a message and offer their help if they knew it would save your life.

Makes ya think.
Love one another and always offer a helping hand.

RicketyCricket

Red F Warrior wrote: »

What if that was all it would take to save a person's life?

There are so many people suffering from mental illness, physical problems, the loss of a loved one etc and so many are suicidal. Out of all our friends and followers on social media how many would send you a message and offer their help if they knew it would save your life.

Makes ya think.
Love one another and always offer a helping hand.

In my experience it doesn't take just one message, unfortunately.

Red F Warrior

RicketyCricket wrote:

In my experience it doesn't take just one message, unfortunately.

I know but I mean its more a symbol of hope to get help. I know full well that sadly one single message doesn't do much

RicketyCricket

Red F Warrior wrote: »

I know but I mean its more a symbol of hope to get help. I know full well that sadly one single message doesn't do much

Oh I know, sadly the mind of another is something no one can understand.

Ignore everything on social media, and all that "it's ok to not be ok" bs. Talk to a qualified psychiatrist or psychologist.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

What if that was all it would take to save a person's life?

There are so many people suffering from mental illness, physical problems, the loss of a loved one etc and so many are suicidal. Out of all our friends and followers on social media how many would send you a message and offer their help if they knew it would save your life.

Makes ya think.
Love one another and always offer a helping hand.

I'm confused tbh. How many of my friends and followers on social media would send me a message and offer their help if they knew it would save my life?

"None" appears to be the obvious answer, but I haven't thought all that much about it at all, and it doesn't make me think about it.

oneilla

Deleted User wrote: »

Ignore everything on social media, and all that "it's ok to not be ok" bs. Talk to a qualified psychiatrist or psychologist.

Hmm, given the percentage of people who have come in contact with mental health treatment and later died by suicide it would seem to me that this is not very good advice. (Or at least not the best advice, certainly not a silver bullet so to speak)

SSIS report 2013

Omackeral

Red F Warrior wrote: »

What if that was all it would take to save a person's life?

There are so many people suffering from mental illness, physical problems, the loss of a loved one etc and so many are suicidal. Out of all our friends and followers on social media how many would send you a message and offer their help if they knew it would save your life.

Makes ya think.
Love one another and always offer a helping hand.

Shared.

mad muffin

People with mental illness can be dangerous.

Burial.

That Darkness to Light thing is the biggest load of rubbish. I went to it one year and all it was was a selfie fest and people laughing and smiling posting crap to snapchat and instagram with the typical caption and hashtag. Same people wouldn't piss on ya if you were burning and frankly couldn't give a damn about people suffering from mental health issues. They say Irish people are super friendly but they couldn't be further from the truth. Irish people are great in their own group but for someone alone and feeling sh*t it's the worst place in the world. We're ridiculously cliquey people.

oneilla

Burial. wrote: »

That Darkness to Light thing is the biggest load of rubbish. I went to it one year and all it was was a selfie fest and people laughing and smiling posting crap to snapchat and instagram with the typical caption and hashtag. Same people wouldn't piss on ya if you were burning and frankly couldn't give a damn about people suffering from mental health issues. They say Irish people are super friendly but they couldn't be further from the truth. Irish people are great in their own group but for someone alone and feeling sh*t it's the worst place in the world. We're ridiculously cliquey people.

People who have mental illness/health issues (or whatever euphemism we're using now...) tend to have what you might politely describe as behaviour or "personality" issues. Once you're in that realm then yeah, noone what's to know you.

This isn't just an Irish thing however. It's the same thing elsewhere. The charity stuff just makes people feel good, that is all.

harry Bailey esq

mad muffin wrote: »

People with mental illness can be dangerous.

People without a mental illness can be far more dangerous.

Atlantic Dawn

I think if I got the message from someone who said I am going to end it all I would reply to them with this "You are a selfish bollix, think of all the people that love you, cop yourself jayus on and take a good look at the amount of people around you in so much more acres of **** than you". I'm not one for the lets hug and talk about sunsets and other bollixology etc.

oneilla

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

I think if I got the message from someone who said I am going to end it all I would reply to them with this "You are a selfish bollix, think of all the people that love you, cop yourself jayus on and take a good look at the amount of people around you in so much more acres of **** than you". I'm not one for the lets hug and talk about sunsets and other bollixology etc.

And if you're encouraging suicide then evidently you wouldn't be one of those who love this person.

oneilla

oneilla wrote: »

Hmm, given the percentage of people who have come in contact with mental health treatment and later died by suicide it would seem to me that this is not very good advice. (Or at least not the best advice, certainly not a silver bullet so to speak)

SSIS report 2013

Um, you may not have interpreted that correctly at all.

1. It certainly does not say it's directed at psychiatrists and psychologists. It could be GPs, nurses etc.

2. It certainly certainly does not say social media memes about it being good to talk or someone wittering on about mindfulness are a better alternative..

LadyMacBeth_

Ehh I'd like to think that if one message could save my life and my friends/acquaintances were aware of this then they'd message me. I'd message a stranger in the same circumstances. I don't think one message is going to make too much of a difference though to be honest.

myshirt

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

I think if I got the message from someone who said I am going to end it all I would reply to them with this "You are a selfish bollix, think of all the people that love you, cop yourself jayus on and take a good look at the amount of people around you in so much more acres of **** than you". I'm not one for the lets hug and talk about sunsets and other bollixology etc.

I've heard that time after time, and it is possibly the worst thing you can do.

It is not the world around you that determines your happiness, but the lens through which you view it. This 'sher what have you to be depressed about' doesn't wash. It's all about the quality of your own thoughts. A person can say I'm flat broke, I haven't a washer in my pocket, I'm f*cked, it's all over. Or you can say 'Im having cashflow problems'.

That light at the end of the tunnel might be freedom for one, or an oncoming train for another. You have to seek to understand people and how they see the world, not impose yourself on them. Yes don't modicoddle them, validate that it ok to not be ok, and allow their line of thought perpetuate etc, but listen and understand.

One eyed Jack

myshirt wrote: »

I've heard that time after time, and it is possibly the worst thing you can do.

It could be the best thing you could do too!

That light at the end of the tunnel might be freedom for one, or an oncoming train for another. You have to seek to understand people and how they see the world, not impose yourself on them. Yes don't modicoddle them, validate that it ok to not be ok, and allow their line of thought perpetuate etc, but listen and understand.

What if you've listened and understood and still their line of thought perpetuates because they know they can guilt trip people into giving them attention and "sending them that one message that might save their life". At some point they have to be told either seek professional help, or cop the fcuk on and quit being such a self-centred selfish...

You get the idea.

up for anything

Deleted User wrote: »

Ignore everything on social media, and all that "it's ok to not be ok" bs. Talk to a qualified psychiatrist or psychologist.

I've never read that as being encouragement not to seek help for mental health problems, but more as it's ok to have mental health problems, admit them, talk about them and seek help for them rather than sweep them under the carpet and pretend they don't exist especially because the sufferer might think other people wouldn't understand.


I admit my problem with run-on and endless sentences which go on forever because my grasp of punctuation and syntax is shite but I'm fine about it.

Red F Warrior

Some peoples brain chemistry is all over the place due to their mental illness. Telling people to cheer up etc etc is utter crap.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

It could be the best thing you could do too!

Do you suffer from mental illness?

Wanderer2010

If I could convey one message it would be that people don't think about you a fraction as much as you think they do. Look at all the random crap that pops into your head at any point during the day and how much space in that jumbled mess is there for thoughts and fears for another person? People with anxiety etc think that others are thinking and judging them. People don't even notice you 99% of the time.

Red F Warrior

Wanderer2010 wrote:

If I could convey one message it would be that people don't think about you a fraction as much as you think they do. Look at all the random crap that pops into your head at any point during the day and how much space in that jumbled mess is there for thoughts and fears for another person? People with anxiety etc think that others are thinking and judging them. People don't even notice you 99% of the time.

Very true for people that are self conscious........nobody is judging you, they probably worried about being judged themselves.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

Do you suffer from mental illness?

Nope.


(then again, I would say that :pac:)

Wabbit Ears

Social media token gestures like the OP are way more damaging than helpful. They trivialise the amount of work really needed to help someone in a dark place and reduce it to 'send a message'.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

Nope.

Well then what makes you think that people being told to 'suck it up' etc would help them when they openly say it doesn't.
Btw I'm delighted that you don't suffer from it, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Red F Warrior

Wabbit Ears wrote:

Social media token gestures like the OP are way more damaging than helpful. They trivialise the amount of work really needed to help someone in a dark place and reduce it to 'send a message'.

It's a signal of hope to get help. Don't take it literal. I suffer very badly with mental illness so don't you worry, I know full well what it takes to battle it.

Alf Veedersane

Burial. wrote: »

That Darkness to Light thing is the biggest load of rubbish. I went to it one year and all it was was a selfie fest and people laughing and smiling posting crap to snapchat and instagram with the typical caption and hashtag. Same people wouldn't piss on ya if you were burning and frankly couldn't give a damn about people suffering from mental health issues. They say Irish people are super friendly but they couldn't be further from the truth. Irish people are great in their own group but for someone alone and feeling sh*t it's the worst place in the world. We're ridiculously cliquey people.

As much as I agree that there is a large proportion of people that do it for the likes etc, they still made the effort but, more importantly, the publicity around it helps to remind people that there s help out there and just by talking about it, makes depression a little less taboo and that in itself may be beneficial to some who need to know that there is someone to talk to.

And if hundreds of people posting selfies from Darkness to Light helps in any little way, what's the problem?

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

Well then what makes you think that people being told to 'suck it up' etc would help them when they openly say it doesn't.
Btw I'm delighted that you don't suffer from it, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Because I know of people whom it does help.

People are more complicated and complex than assuming they all think the same way based upon one single issue like ill mental health, mental disorder or suicide.

That's one thing some people often tend to ignore when they're only thinking of issues from their own perspective.

Red F Warrior

Well it's widely known that telling someone with mental illness to suck it up is a terrible way to help them. Don't know what these people you know suffer from cos it doesn't work that way for the majority.
If that's all they need then gladly that's not a severe case.
People with mental illness have been trying to 'suck it up' themselves for years and don't need ignorant people telling them to do it.

Wabbit Ears

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

Social media token gestures like the OP are way more damaging than helpful. They trivialise the amount of work really needed to help someone in a dark place and reduce it to 'send a message'.

Yeah, know of a few who have unleashed blogs and are always cycling against suicide, giving advice, talking about living life and all that...and it's like they have become so wrapped up in the whole image and popularity that they overlook one flaw...they have no expertise or qualifications whatsoever to give advice.

The only advice when it comes to social media should be ignore it and seek professional help, a lot of the information out there is identikit mumbo jumbo about mindfulness and positivity, as if complex psychological and psychiatric conditions can be cured by this stuff and a few neat memes.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

Well it's widely known that telling someone with mental illness to suck it up is a terrible way to help them. Don't know what these people you know suffer from cos it doesn't work that way for the majority.

No, it's not that widely known at all, it's a widely contested theory because it can be a double-edged sword, the very same as the stigma can be a double-edged sword, and nobody has any way of quantifying or qualifying what does or doesn't work for the majority because it's impossible to quantify "the majority" depending upon the type and severity of their ill mental health or mental disorder.

If that's all they need then gladly that's not a severe case.

And again, you have no possible way of knowing this.

People with mental illness have been trying to 'suck it up' themselves for years and don't need ignorant people telling them to do it.

But you can't speak for people with mental illness any more than I can as to what they need and don't need, but by calling other people ignorant when you know nothing about them surely betrays your own ignorance? Anyone who doesn't think like you do is ignorant then?

What works or doesn't work for you, does not necessarily work for someone else. People with ill mental health are no more a hive mind than anyone else.

Red F Warrior

So One Eyed Jack......all someone with a mental illness needs to get better is for someone to tell them to Suck it up??? That is ridiculous. You're trying to back your point up with a 'but sure how do you know it doesn't work?' I'd like to see how you'd get on going into a mental illness clinic and say this to the patients. I've seen your posts and ya just like an argument, so ur not gonna get one from me.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

So One Eyed Jack......all someone with a mental illness needs to get better is for someone to tell them to Suck it up??? That is ridiculous. You're trying to back your point up with a 'but sure how do you know it doesn't work?' I'd like to see how you'd get on going into a mental illness clinic and say this to the patients. I've seen your posts and ya just like an argument, so ur not gonna get one from me.

I don't need one from you tbh when your "argument" consists of twisting what I said to suit yourself. In that case no, I wouldn't be bothered entertaining you either, which is why I don't see the point in your whole "if you knew one message could save someone's life" stuff. The point is - you don't know, so stop tormenting yourself about it.

mad muffin

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

People without a mental illness can be far more dangerous.

No. Dangerous people have a mental illness. Normal people are not dangerous. To themselves or others.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

I don't need one from you tbh when your "argument" consists of twisting what I said to suit yourself. In that case no, I wouldn't be bothered entertaining you either, which is why I don't see the point in your whole "if you knew one message could save someone's life" stuff. The point is - you don't know, so stop tormenting yourself about it.

Everyone is different which is true which means different counseling techniques would work better ie CBT, ERP, BEST would suit different people. However if you genuinely believe telling someone to suck it up helps them, then that is simply baffling. If that's all it took for so many then we wouldn't have such a mental illness epidemic.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

Everyone is different which is true which means different counseling techniques would work better ie CBT, ERP, BEST would suit different people. However if you genuinely believe telling someone to suck it up helps them, then that is simply baffling. If that's all it took for so many then we wouldn't have such a mental illness epidemic.

We really don't have a mental illness epidemic, or anything like it in this country IMO. Some people will try and generate publicity for their cause by classifying it as an 'epidemic'. I guess it depends on how you quantify an epidemic and what criteria you're using.

You're willing to acknowledge that different approaches will work for different people, so why are you so unwilling to acknowledge that telling some people to suck it up would help them? It works for some people, depending on the type and severity of that persons ill mental health or mental disorder.

Being taught resilience from childhood is one of the best ways to combat ill mental health caused by stress in later adult life. Again - I'm not saying that works for everyone either before you start arguing that's what I'm suggesting.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

We really don't have a mental illness epidemic, or anything like it in this country IMO. Some people will try and generate publicity for their cause by classifying it as an 'epidemic'. I guess it depends on how you quantify an epidemic and what criteria you're using.

I would disagree here.

One eyed Jack wrote:

You're willing to acknowledge that different approaches will work for different people, so why are you so unwilling to acknowledge that telling some people to suck it up would help them? It works for some people, depending on the type and severity of that persons ill mental health or mental disorder.

If being told to suck it up is all it takes then it can't be a severe case of mental illness. People with mental illness have brain disorders and that simply won't help. I have one and ive spoken to many sufferers and professionals and it's all the same. I have never met one person who has a mental illness or a someone who specialises in that area that would approve of telling a sufferer to suck it up. If they are able to sort themselve out by simply 'sucking it up', it can't be an Illness. They may be down about losing a job or an injury etc but it's not a mental illness.

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

I would disagree here.

I'm not going to argue with you over the use of the word 'epidemic' to describe something so vague as 'ill mental health' that only a minority of people in this country actually experience, let alone suffer from. I tend to make the distinction as not everyone with ill mental health or mental disorders would actually consider themselves to be suffering, and many are able to cope with and manage their illness or disorder.

If being told to suck it up is all it takes then it can't be a severe case of mental illness. People with mental illness have brain disorders and that simply won't help. I have one and ive spoken to many sufferers and professionals and it's all the same. I have never met one person who has a mental illness or a someone who specialises in that area that would approve of telling a sufferer to suck it up. If they are able to sort themselve out by simply 'sucking it up', it can't be an Illness. They may be down about losing a job or an injury etc but it's not a mental illness.

Well of course people you talk to are going to agree with you. You've already said that I like to argue so you won't be giving me one. I don't like to argue, but I don't agree with some of the simplistic platitudes put out there on social media either that do nothing to address the underlying issues IMO but only seek to normalise ill mental health and mental disorder and form 'communities' festering a "them vs us" mentality.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

Well of course people you talk to are going to agree with you. You've already said that I like to argue so you won't be giving me one. I don't like to argue, but I don't agree with some of the simplistic platitudes put out there on social media either that do nothing to address the underlying issues IMO but only seek to normalise ill mental health and mental disorder and form 'communities' festering a "them vs us" mentality.

I'm curious what do the people you know suffer from that were able to get over by being told to Suck it up?

One eyed Jack

Red F Warrior wrote: »

I'm curious what do the people you know suffer from that were able to get over by being told to Suck it up?

Red F with all due respect to you, I'm not going to continue this discussion. You have your opinion and that's fair enough, I'm not going to continue to argue with you.

Red F Warrior

One eyed Jack wrote:

Red F with all due respect to you, I'm not going to continue this discussion. You have your opinion and that's fair enough, I'm not going to continue to argue with you.

Tbh I was expecting such a response.

WinnyThePoo

A friend of mine who I'd kinda hadn't seen for a while wrote a long suicide note on his Facebook. Thankfully a group of friends called the guards and went around looking and found him eventually.

It was a shocking thing to read. Thankfully a two years on my friend is a much better place mentality.

bnt

When someone feels bad, they feel bad. It's not negotiable. You can't tell them not to feel bad. You can't tell them it's not real - it is to them, and who are you to deny that?

So, if you tell someone they shouldn't feel bad when they do, you're undermining them, and telling them that what they feel isn't valid. They aren't going to stop feeling bad. If anything, you're going to make them feel guilty for feeling the way they do. You're making the person feel like a burden to others.

One eyed Jack

bnt wrote: »

When someone feels bad, they feel bad. It's not negotiable. You can't tell them not to feel bad. You can't tell them it's not real - it is to them, and who are you to deny that?

It's absolutely negotiable, because "feeling bad" is entirely comparative based upon their processing of their perception and their experiences which undoubtedly colour their perspective. If someone is expecting you to listen to them, then you have every right to tell them they have no right to feel bad.

So, if you tell someone they shouldn't feel bad when they do, you're undermining them, and telling them that what they feel isn't valid. They aren't going to stop feeling bad. If anything, you're going to make them feel guilty for feeling the way they do. You're making the person feel like a burden to others.

You're assuming everyone reacts the same way to what people say, based upon your own perspective. They don't. It can depend upon an infinite number of factors, and that's why people who are experiencing ill mental health or self harming or being at risk of suicide are so damn hard to prevent - because they generally don't advertise the fact on social media!!

bluewizard

Red F Warrior wrote: »

Out of all our friends and followers on social media how many would send you a message and offer their help if they knew it would save your life.

None. Let's nature work in it's ways.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

I see the point and understand the reaching out that's involved in sending such a message. I've done it myself. Just a simple "I hope you're ok" or "you know where I am if you need anything". Now these people weren't in my view at risk of suicide but who knows. I've been lucky to not have been directly affected by suicide.

But really people have their own troubles and distractions. It might not occur to them to send a message and also none of us are mind readers. Mental illness can be hidden. Plenty will go about their day to day existence outwardly stable but inside is full of pain.

OP don't get too caught up in other people's actions. Just remember that lots of people have struggles as well as you.

Red F Warrior

Deleted User wrote:

But really people have their own troubles and distractions. It might not occur to them to send a message and also none of us are mind readers. Mental illness can be hidden. Plenty will go about their day to day existence outwardly stable but inside is full of pain.

It's aimed at all the stuff people do about spreading awareness when half of them couldn't be arsed to actually help someone as has been stated by some previous posters.

Deleted User wrote:

OP don't get too caught up in other people's actions. Just remember that lots of people have struggles as well as you.

And it is these people that I hope get the help. I'm not on about just myself here.

Red F Warrior

Red F Warrior wrote: »

It's aimed at all the stuff people do about spreading awareness when half of them couldn't be arsed to actually help someone as has been stated by some previous posters.


And it is these people that I hope get the help. I'm not on about just myself here.

Oh I know you aren't. It's just that there are a vast array of people with all sorts of stuff going on. If my head is preoccupied with money stuff or work then I may not think to send that message.

As for all the stuff we could do about spreading awareness well I believe that awareness drive is very much present in Ireland of today. Never before has their been such an effort in taking away the cloak of stigma from mental illness.