Are you obsessed with where you grew up

Grew up in a rural area near to Dublin it now has very strict planning controls plus is very sought after place to live. This has put it outside the reach of locals and it has been like this for the last say 20 to 30 years.

This has caused all sorts of mayhem people living in converted garages next to their parents, family fights over sites and so on and seems to be getting worse.

What it obsession about staying in the same area you grew up in especially if sheer logic dictates that its is unaffordable.

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LirW

What it obsession about staying in the same area you grew up in especially if sheer logic dictates that its is unaffordable.

I asked my man this a few times, I'm not Irish and I never got this. His mother had a hard time understanding that we can't afford Glasnevin because she wanted us to live around the corner.
Where I come from it's normal, that people rent for their entire lives and move every few years, also with kids without any problems. We also don't have this thing with the school around the corner. At the age of 7 I had to do a bus ride on my own into town where my school was, that was about 25 minutes and in secondary it's not uncommon that teenager have to commute to school an hour each way.

kunst nugget

The field is mine…

Tombo2001

Not in anyway obsessed but I would be interested to know where everyone from my primary school class ended up - there is not a single one of them that I know, or even know of ..... in terms of where they are now. Which is quite bad considering I grew up in a fairly small town.

RhubarbCrumble

Personally I wouldn't care if I never saw the place again. I'm only about 30 minutes away but would love to be further.
A lot of people that I went to primary school with have built houses 'next to the home place'. Some of them have never left. We're only all in our thirties so I just can't understand it to be honest. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd have liked, I certainly have no desire to set up camp back in the place where I grew up and where everyone knows everyone elses business.

ArnoldJRimmer

My parents moved when they retired 15 years ago, and I've only once since been in the place I grew up in. I'm unlikely to go out of my way to visit it ever again as its a sh!thole and I don't know anyone there anymore.

Some people just love being surrounded by their friends and family. I know a guy that commutes two hours to and from Dublin every day as he insists in living in the small town he grew up in, and couldn't imagine having to live anywhere else. Each to their own

Loveinapril

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

I certainly have no desire to set up camp back in the place where I grew up and where everyone knows everyone elses business.

This is exactly it. I grew up in a beautiful fishing/ seaside village in Dublin but it sometimes feels like 1950's Ireland with all the judgey busybodies. I live about 15 minutes away and while I love visiting the area (and my folks), I try to stay away from the village.

Omackeral

kunst nugget wrote: »

The field is mine…

GO HOME YANK :mad:

_Kaiser_

Grew up in Dublin and for 20 years or so I never thought I'd move out of the city limits.. but I did and found it a much nicer, friendlier and relaxed pace of life. Plus most of my mates settled down and moved all over the place in the "Good Times" anyway.

These days I am only in Dublin because that's where my job is but I'm working on that. I couldn't be arsed dealing with the ridiculous rent prices, the traffic/congestion, the cost of living/going out, and there's really nothing in Dublin that you can't find in any decently-sized town.

I don't get people who spend their days/weekends running back to their parents for coffee, dinner, do their washing etc.. to me these are people who've never really left home and grown up. I'm not saying you should never see your family, but when you have one of your own, time with them should be the priority IMO

LirW

I don't get people who spend their days/weekends running back to their parents for coffee, dinner, do their washing etc.. to me these are people who've never really left home and grown up. I'm not saying you should never see your family, but when you have one of your own, time with them should be the priority IMO

We're moving out later this year and I just said yesterday "seeing your parents once a week would be alright" and he said "Jaysus that's a LOT".
Was a relief.

I'm not obsessed with my homeplace just because that's where I grew up. I want to live there because it's a beautiful part of the country, and yes, I like being close to my brothers and my oldest friends. I like the laid-back pace of life, and the community spirit.

I'm living in Dublin at the moment, for work, but I go home most weekends because i enjoy it. It isn't an obsession by any means.

Permabear

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super_furry

Not really, I mean I'd consider Dublin my home and wouldn't be too keen to leave (although Galway could tempt me). But as for the specific area I grew up in, it's enough to see it when I go to visit my folks.

hairyslug

I grew up in Blackrock in Co Dublin, I would never want to move back there again.

Grew up in Kerry, love it. Holiday in West Cork. No interest in living anywhere else outside the SW.

Gunslinger92

I grew up in Kerry and any time I go home for a weekend I'm usually bored ****less by the Saturday evening.
Had my mother and sister laughing at me the last time I was home for saying I don't want to settle down there... maybe when I'm retired but before then? Nah.

Gunslinger92

Excellent timing of mine and Conor's posts there

RhubarbCrumble

Well I grew up just outside a little village in Limerick, live in the Limerick suburbs now, but would very happily relocate to Co Kerry

Dyr

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

These days I am only in Dublin because that's where my job is but I'm working on that. I couldn't be arsed dealing with the ridiculous rent prices, the traffic/congestion, the cost of living/going out, and there's really nothing in Dublin that you can't find in any decently-sized town.

None of my interests, activities and socializing would be available in any town in Ireland, or probably any city other than Dublin or Belfast

That's just the reality of living in small towns, probably fine if all you're interested in is a couple of pubs and restaurants

Its probably more about growing up in a places that have become very expensive and desirably mostly attractive rural or coastal locations in commuting distance of Dublin and to a lesser extent other cities.

noaddedsugar

I grew up in a really rural place, I moved for college and never really went back. I probably go down about once a year to visit my parents but that is it. I have no desire to live there ever, bogs are not for me.

Rubberlegs

I sometimes think I must be weird because I have no real emotional ties to where I grew up. I lived in London till I was 8, a short while in one county when moving to Ireland and then lived till I was 21 in a quiet area in the neighbouring county. I never had a real sense of belonging anywhere as a result. I have lived in this town, 10km from where my parents lived, since 1995. It took a long time to feel it but I absolutely love it here and really can't see me ever living anywhere else. My mother's house has just gone up for sale and so far I feel absolutely nothing.

Academic

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I'm not obsessed with my homeplace just because that's where I grew up. I want to live there because it's a beautiful part of the country, and yes, I like being close to my brothers and my oldest friends. I like the laid-back pace of life, and the community spirit.

[...]

I think this is often the case: the attachment isn't so much to the place as to the people one has known longest in one's life.

SEPT 23 1989

Breaking up family's and communitys was a disaster for this city

368100

To me it's just Home

pickarooney

LirW wrote: »

I asked my man this a few times, I'm not Irish and I never got this. His mother had a hard time understanding that we can't afford Glasnevin because she wanted us to live around the corner.
Where I come from it's normal, that people rent for their entire lives and move every few years, also with kids without any problems. We also don't have this thing with the school around the corner. At the age of 7 I had to do a bus ride on my own into town where my school was, that was about 25 minutes and in secondary it's not uncommon that teenager have to commute to school an hour each way.

Country Vs City comparison is not the same as Austria Vs Ireland.

LirW

Not saying that, I spent my first years living very rural, then in some pretty bad parts of a city.
It's more the fascination that I have with the Irish society and the way that they are rooted, it genuinely interests me because before I came here I never saw or thought about this. Was also talking about this a lot with my MIL and she feels that way the other way around.
I hope this puts it in some perspective.

whisky_galore

Grew up in a rural area but the local town holds no attraction for me over the city. Basically fcuk all to do there other than pub, GAA and activities for senior citizens.

Bambi985

I haven't lived there for 14 years, though I'm very proud to be from the place as it's bloody gorgeous and charming and a pleasure to come home to.

Only a handful of friends/people I knew in my youth have stuck around and bought houses, had families, settled down etc. Couldn't say I envy them as it's a different and far slower way of life to what I've become accustomed, but nothing wrong with treasuring your hometown and deciding to stay put. Wouldn't have been for me but why not like. For one you'll get a lot more family support by proxy of living nearby and your kids can grow up with a closeness to your relatives that they may not have when you live elsewhere.

RobertKK

I love where I grew up, rural location that is close enough to Kilkenny city, it is designated an area of high amenity due to the exceptional scenery.
It has a good history, fields are named after the surnames of people who once owned the lands and who I assume maybe sold up and emigrated or married and had bigger farms.
So much wildlife and wild food like wild strawberries, raspberries, gooseberries, cherries, crab apples, frockens/bilberries/blueberries, hazelnuts, mushrooms, sloes and maybe I am forgetting some.
Great neighbours who would help you and it is a very peaceful and quite location.
It makes me happy where I live, and I expect to live here for my entire life, all going well.

notsoyoungwan

I left my home town at 17, nearly 21 years ago now. I go back regularly to see my parents but I have no emotional tie to the place itself, and once my folks are gone I doubt I'll go back at all. On the other hand there are areas of my home county which i absolutely adore and where I would love to live, I have notions that I might retire there in time.

DoozerT6

I have fond childhood memories of where I grew up, but my parents no longer live there so I rarely go there any more, as tbh once I left to go to college, and moreso after my parents moved, I more or less lost touch with everyone I knew there. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people!

I think the nostalgia (and my occasional desire to move back there), stems from the fact that even though I'm years and years away from home and I now own my own property, I've never really settled in the area, and always considered my home town 'Home'. Once my parents moved, those roots were taken away from me, as such.

However, logically, moving back there is not feasible for me. It's a small rural town that hasn't recovered from the recession and really has nothing going for it except a reasonable proximity to Dublin and a decent community spirit.

But I can still enjoy the memories I have

DundalkDuffman

Academic wrote: »

I think this is often the case: the attachment isn't so much to the place as to the people one has known longest in one's life.

Germans have a word which covers that, Heimat. I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English but it's basically your connection to your childhood upbringing family wise and experience wise being very important.

bluewizard

No, I have lived in many places, I'm on the move. Hard to get attached.

Robsweezie

Yeah, every so I often I go back to my old gaff and **** in the letterbox.

DoozerT6

Robsweezie wrote: »

Yeah, every so I often I go back to my old gaff and **** in the letterbox.

Lovely image :eek:

DundalkDuffman

Robsweezie wrote: »

Yeah, every so I often I go back to my old gaff and **** in the letterbox.

Still working for ParcelForce?
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sunday-life/northern-ireland-delivery-man-who-pleasured-himself-through-letterbox-caught-on-cctv-making-unwanted-delivery-35485854.html

tastyt

I dont think its obsession at all, I think its human nature.

It has been the norm for hundreds of years, people live in a community, you grow up, have kids and all live together as a happy family.

The death of rural ireland has meant people can no longer live, work and raise families in their homeplace, they have to move to cities, away from friends and families and support systems.

There will always be people who like to get away from home and like the anonymity and lure of the city life but I would argue that they are the minority.

People talk about their homeplaces being dumps that they would not want to go back to, but they might not always have been like this. The government do have a lot to answer for as regards these rural towns becoming ghostowns.

Urbanisation is a fact of modern life but I find it a little sad that people have to live hours away from friends and family ( if they would rather not ). Family and community are concepts that are losing value.

So I dont think its an obsession for people, just a lot of people are half living their lives in a place where they dont want to be but have no choice

Electric Sheep

tastyt wrote: »

I dont think its obsession at all, I think its human nature.

It has been the norm for hundreds of years, people live in a community, you grow up, have kids and all live together as a happy family.

The death of rural ireland has meant people can no longer live, work and raise families in their homeplace, they have to move to cities, away from friends and families and support systems.

There will always be people who like to get away from home and like the anonymity and lure of the city life but I would argue that they are the minority.

People talk about their homeplaces being dumps that they would not want to go back to, but they might not always have been like this. The government do have a lot to answer for as regards these rural towns becoming ghostowns.

Urbanisation is a fact of modern life but I find it a little sad that people have to live hours away from friends and family ( if they would rather not ). Family and community are concepts that are losing value.

So I dont think its an obsession for people, just a lot of people are half living their lives in a place where they dont want to be but have no choice

Emigration to other countries and migration to the cities has always been the norm in Ireland. It's nothing new and has always been a matter of survival. 50 years ago there was no work in rural Ireland, just as there is little to no work in rural Ireland now. It's not something new about "modern life".

Solomon Pleasant

No, not at all. I grew up in a small village in the north west of Ireland where public transport is virtually non existent, employment was the highest in the country during the deepest recession in Irish history and the people are backward, judgmental and fearful of change. I have few friends and even fewer positive experiences there.

My animosity peaked when I was in secondary school and wanted a part time job as I despised being a burden on my parents and always felt guilty if I had to ask for money. I applied to every local business I could find. I didn't receive a single call, reply or interview. Many others similar to my age were in an identical position and some turned to crime to help themselves. The only people who actually got part time jobs were those who knew someone. It was gut wrenchingly sickening to witness some airhead from school gleefully earn money because "daddy" knew the manager. Good old nepotism, eh?

Fortunately, I left for college in Dublin a few years ago and things have improved substantially since then. I work part time, study a course which I adore and generally have a much more enjoyable time.

Summer holidays, of course, are the highlight of the year for many students, for me it's a little different.

Mrs OBumble

Scarcity always make something valuable. Ireland is a tiny place really, land is in short supply, so sought-after. The land you grew up on especially.

There's also a huge national insecurity, which causes non-Traveller people to be desperate to prove to everyone that they're not. Foundational identify being based on place not who you're related to is a key way of doing this.

tastyt

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Emigration to other countries and migration to the cities has always been the norm in Ireland. It's nothing new and has always been a matter of survival. 50 years ago there was no work in rural Ireland, just as there is little to no work in rural Ireland now. It's not something new about "modern life".

I agree it been there to an extent but has accelerated hugely in the past 20 years.

The recent CAO figures show a quarter of the population live in the greater dublin region, far more than 50 years ago.

Also, there was a lot better chance of securing a job rural ireland 20 years ago in farming, trades, civil service, post office, manufacturing.

Not so much anymore

Doctor Nick

Nope. I'd hope to never set foot in the place again. 2 of my old mates were cousins who ended up falling out and now spend time shooting each other so I'm glad I'm not in the middle of all that.

PMBC

I now live away from my home town and I did spend 90% of my years there. More recently I lived abroad and I don't have any great wish to return to 'my home town' with all its good and bad points.
The familiarity and predictability of ones home town is probably an attraction. Most of the time I live in my head, so it doesn't really matter where I am!

harry Bailey esq

LirW wrote: »

His mother had a hard time understanding that we can't afford Glasnevin because she wanted us to live around the corner.

Im using bono as an example here,he claims to be from finglas,but grew up in cedarwood which is technically Ballymun but geographically is Finglas East.Yet,the postal address of Cedarwood is Glasnevin North.True Glasnevin,is bounded by Drumcondra to the east,phibsboro to the south and southwest,Finglas to the north and Cabra to the west. If pacifying the mother in law is top of your agenda,buying anywhere in that triangle will shut her up.For the time being at least.

Arcade_Tryer

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

These days I am only in Dublin because that's where my job is but I'm working on that. I couldn't be arsed dealing with the ridiculous rent prices, the traffic/congestion, the cost of living/going out, and there's really nothing in Dublin that you can't find in any decently-sized town.

Maybe for your specific needs, but simply not true in general. Dublin is Ireland's only claim to a world city.

DivingDuck

Doctor Nick wrote: »

Nope. I'd hope to never set foot in the place again. 2 of my old mates were cousins who ended up falling out and now spend time shooting each other so I'm glad I'm not in the middle of all that.

Every so often on here, you read a post that just goes in a direction you would never have imagined... :eek:

tomwaterford

While where im from is very scenic etc

If it wasnt for the farm (and inturn being so close to my dad) i probably wouldnt live there


Not that i see particularly see the draw of dublin etc....imo life is what you make of it and your if your outlook is miserable/self pitying....youll be just as likely miserable on the moon as your hometown

I am. I grew up on a farm in a rural area and love it. Moved out of home at 24 and been living a few hours from home the last few years for work but no intention of settling where I am now, I'm back home loads of weekends too also. Been tailoring my work experience to suit jobs close to home and hopefully in the next year or so will move back and get a job and get started building a house next door to my parents. I'm very close with my family so living beside them would be brilliant, most of my friends have settled around the area so no worries on not having friends around, like working on the farm etc etc. Overall I just can't wait to get back there and be able to see family everyday again etc.