Do you think kids need parents of opposite sex?

jeanjolie

Being Father's Day along with the new Taoiseach and remebering the marriage referendum back in 2015, I thought about whether children/teens need the set-up of a mother and father as some opponents of the referendum claimed.

I don't think people have as much a problem with single biological mothers/fathers marrying the same sex as much as they do with adoption. I know the arguments against same sex adoption are 'Mother and father's complement each other in ways two mothers or two fathers cannot'.

What is your opinion on this? I'd say such statements are a bit sexist aren't they?

everlast75

They need parents who give a shít. Gender or sexual persuasion is irrelevant.

KERSPLAT!

Loving parent/parents is what they need.

Bishopsback

jeanjolie wrote: »

Being Father's Day along with the new Taoiseach and remebering the marriage referendum back in 2015, I thought about whether children/teens need the set-up of a mother and father as some opponents of the referendum claimed.

I don't think people have as much a problem with single biological mothers/fathers marrying the same sex as much as they do with adoption. I know the arguments against same sex adoption are 'Mother and father's complement each other in ways two mothers or two fathers cannot'.

What is your opinion on this? I'd say such statements are a bit sexist aren't they?

I'd say so.
A loving caring environment, be it single parent, mum and dad or two parents of the same sex is the most important thing for any child or youngster growing up!

Pac1Man

Yes.

eviltwin

Kids need someone decent and kind in their lives no matter who that is. I wouldn't deprive a child of a happy upbringing just because the would be parent is single or has a partner of the same sex. I was raised by my biological parents, sadly one wasn't fit for the role so my childhood wasn't particularly happy. I'd have swapped it for a single parent or same sex parents.

ToddyDoody

Would any children care to give us their opinion?

MadDog76

For me, parents should be a Mother and Father ......... same sex parents can cause confusion for children as well as ridicule (albeit unfair) from their peers which will have long-term negative effects on them.

Obviously any parents should be loving and caring but that goes without saying .........

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

No. Daft idea.

Case in point: single parents.

End of discussion.

El_Duderino 09

It helps to have parents who model as many scenarios as possible. With strict gender roles it would take two parents of opposite genders to raise a child well. Now people are more free to mix gender roles. 

Surely two parents of the same gender is better then one parent of either gender - not taking from the job single parents do. 

No is the answer to the question

jeanjolie

MadDog76 wrote: »

For me, parents should be a Mother and Father ......... same sex parents can cause confusion for children as well as ridicule (albeit unfair) from their peers which will have long-term negative effects on them.

Obviously any parents should be loving and caring but that goes without saying .........

Is it because of 'inherent difference' or just for the simplicity?

me_right_one

Yes, children should have one parent of each sex, in my opinion. They had to in the first place to be biologically conceived at all. In my opinion, anything else is unnatural.

GerryDerpy

Every fatherless child I know has turned out damaged.

RayM

me_right_one wrote: »

Yes, children should have one parent of each sex, in my opinion. They had to in the first place to be biologically conceived at all. In my opinion, anything else is unnatural.

"unnatural"

"Gays are mentally ill"

Yeah, you're definitely not a homophobe...

frag420

me_right_one wrote: »

Yes, children should have one parent of each sex, in my opinion. They had to in the first place to be biologically conceived at all. In my opinion, anything else is unnatural.

What if one of the parents dies or leaves?

Should we force the other parent to find a suitable partner in your opinion?

Is a one parent family unnatural in your opinion?

MadDog76

jeanjolie wrote: »

Is it because of 'inherent difference' or just for the simplicity?

Mothers/females and Fathers/males parent differently, play differently, communicate differently and prepare children for life differently so they need the balance of both Mother and Father to develop properly ......... in my opinion.

Icaras

All the scumbags I know come from opposite sex parents, I dont see how same sex parents can make it any worse.

Hannibal_Smith

me_right_one wrote: »

Yes, children should have one parent of each sex, in my opinion. They had to in the first place to be biologically conceived at all. In my opinion, anything else is unnatural.

I honestly can't stand this. Being gay, is just as natural as being straight. Sexual orientation is part of everyones natural make up. Have two loving parents, regardless of gender is not unnatural.

MadDog76

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

No. Daft idea.

Case in point: single parents.

End of discussion.

Single Parent families aren't the ideal scenario either and, I believe, that omission of a Father (or, in rare cases, a Mother) can have a detrimental effect on children.

Discussion continues ............

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

me_right_one wrote: »

Yes, children should have one parent of each sex, in my opinion. They had to in the first place to be biologically conceived at all. In my opinion, anything else is unnatural.

You so realise that communication via an internet message board is also unnatural, right?

eviltwin

MadDog76 wrote: »

Single Parent families aren't the ideal scenario either and, I believe, that omission of a Father (or, in rare cases, a Mother) can have a detrimental effect on children.

Discussion continues ............

Is that solely down to the lack.of a father or a combination of issues though.

MadDog76

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

You so realise that communication via an internet message board is also unnatural, right?

That might have sounded very clever in your head but when typed ........ well ......... it just didn't work.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

MadDog76 wrote: »

Single Parent families aren't the ideal scenario either and, I believe, that omission of a Father (or, in rare cases, a Mother) can have a detrimental effect on children.

Discussion continues ............

There is no such thing as 'ideal' - plenty of neuclear parents can attest to that.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

MadDog76 wrote: »

That might have sounded very clever in your head but when typed ........ well ......... it just didn't work.

Tell, me is the keyboard or phone in front of you natural or manmade?

If you think everything natural is good and unnatural is bad, you should recheck everything you do to see how 'natural' it is. Wearing clothes, for a start - unnarural, but do you really think freezing your ass of is better?

eviltwin

I definitely think everyone should know where they came from and have a relationship with their biological parents if possible

I don't think they necessarily need to be raised by them.

MadDog76

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Tell, me is the keyboard or phone in front of you natural or manmade?

You're going waaaay off topic with what you may think is a very clever way of proving your point ........... it isn't, regroup your thoughts and we can engage in a discussion of the topic itself.

Ave Sodalis

Maybe a role model but that doesn't have to be a parent. As people have said, as long as the parent(s) are caring, who cares. Has anyone saying that you need a parent of both gender ever actually seen a child come out worse for wear due to the lack of a particular gendered parent?

One eyed Jack

jeanjolie wrote: »

What is your opinion on this? I'd say such statements are a bit sexist aren't they?

I wouldn't say they're sexist, they're just that person's opinion based upon their experience, and since most of us will have been raised in a two-parent household with opposite-sex parents, and most of us turned out alright, it's perfectly understandable that most of would see that as the ideal and what we would recommend as the best outcome for children if asked.

That's not intended as an insult to other people, nor is it a commentary on how other people choose to parent their children, it's simply one perspective among many, many others who will base their judgement of the ideal way to raise children based upon their experience.

MadDog76

eviltwin wrote: »

Is that solely down to the lack.of a father or a combination of issues though.

The lack of a Father, or Mother, can (and in the majority of cases, will) have long-term negative impacts on a child ......... there are, of course, exceptions to the rule but in general a child benefits greatly from the ideal scenario of a loving caring Mother and Father ......... again, in my opinion.

LordSutch

jeanjolie wrote: »

Do you think kids need parents of opposite sex?

I wouldn't say they "need" one of each, but I would say that its preferable.

Why?

Well from my perspective a Mother and a Father bring different things to the table. Ideally the male & female parents will complement each other, therefore the Mum will naturally be better with some aspects of parenting, while the Dad will excel at others.

Avatar MIA

On behalf of the OP thanks for helping with his school/college report.

One eyed Jack

sup_dude wrote: »

Maybe a role model but that doesn't have to be a parent. As people have said, as long as the parent(s) are caring, who cares. Has anyone saying that you need a parent of both gender ever actually seen a child come out worse for wear due to the lack of a particular gendered parent?

It's a tricky one that, as I've met many parents who feel that their child has 'missed out' or is lacking the influence of a parent of either their own or the opposite gender.

For example one of my friends who is bringing up her child on her own has said this to me, and her half-sister and the half-sisters girlfriend often foist their child upon her because they know she loves children, and they can't handle the child being unable to say any more words than 'dada' all day. It's a bit of an awkward situation for all concerned really, but I don't think my friend's half-sister should have any right to take advantage of my friends caring nature.

eviltwin

MadDog76 wrote: »

The lack of a Father, or Mother, can (and in the majority of cases, will) have long-term negative impacts on a child ......... there are, of course, exceptions to the rule but in general a child benefits greatly from the ideal scenario of a loving caring Mother and Father ......... again, in my opinion.

I live in a working class estate with a lot of lone parents. I see a lot of kids with issues but I don't think it's simply because they have only one parent. I think lack of money, young and uneducated parents with few prospects are the main issue. I say this because I know other children being raised by single parents who have none of those problems because their parents are from a different socio economic background. That said I think it's a tragedy for a child who has a parent who has no part in their life. The rejection must be awful. But better to have one good parent than have two in your life with no interest in you.

Ave Sodalis

One eyed Jack wrote:

For example one of my friends who is bringing up her child on her own has said this to me, and her half-sister and the half-sisters girlfriend often foist their child upon her because they know she loves children, and they can't handle the child being unable to say any more words than 'dada' all day. It's a bit of an awkward situation for all concerned really, but I don't think my friend's half-sister should have any right to take advantage of my friends caring nature.

I'm really struggling to see how that example is in any way relevant... so two women take advantage of another woman... how does that have anything to do with both gendered parents?

MadDog76

eviltwin wrote: »

But better to have one good parent than have two in your life with no interest in you.

Even better to have two good Parents than just one ..........

jeanjolie

LordSutch wrote: »

I wouldn't say they "need" one of each, but I would say that its preferable.

Why?

Well from my perspective a Mother and a Father bring different things to the table. Ideally the male & female parents will complement each other, therefore the Mum will naturally be better with some aspects of parenting, while the Dad will excel at others.

Ehh...I think people overomantisize the complementary differences in personality/parenting styles between male and female.

Sure they do from a reproductive perspective, but in many bad cases that I've seen the father can rule with an iron fist, the mother feels trapped or worse, delusionally obeys her husband in their 'complementary' relationship and kids are often not doing to well.

I understand those may not represent relationships with a mother and father but I'm very hesitant to agree with people like this. There's an argument made by social psychologist that minority kids are usually troubled because they lack a male role-model to discipline them. I'm not sure that the degeneracy of single parents has more to do with general dysfunctional relationships, lack of jobs, broken community, lack of self-discipline found in poorer communities or with males just not being there.

Burial.

I think every child needs a male and a female authority figure/guardian whether biological or not. I know a few people who were raised by one of mother/father and had grandfather/grandmother actively filling the role of the missed parent and they said it stood to them. Obviously not a possibility in some situations.

Grayson

I can't be bothered looking it up again but there have been studies that have shown that it makes no difference. There is one type of parent that is bad and that's a single parent. Now before anyone goes nuts at me it's not the fact that they're single that is bad. It's the lack of a second wage in the household.

The one factor that can affect a child's upbringing is money. A kid with two parents (Regardless of the parents gender) is given more options because of two wages. If a single parent is wealthy then there's absolutely no difference between single parents, straight couples and gay parents.

So rather than arguing about whether we "feel" or "think" it makes a difference/no difference we should look at evidence and start trying to level the playing field. Social/economic inequality is a far more pressing issue.

One eyed Jack

sup_dude wrote: »

I'm really struggling to see how that example is in any way relevant... so two women take advantage of another woman... how does that have anything to do with both gendered parents?

No, this thread is about parenting, and you asked the question -

sup_dude wrote: »

Has anyone saying that you need a parent of both gender ever actually seen a child come out worse for wear due to the lack of a particular gendered parent?

My friend feels that her own child is missing out due to having no father figure in their life. Her half-sister and her girlfriend are in a same sex relationship and they have a child which they don't want to be parents to right now because the childs only word is 'dada', a word which they perceive to be a parent of the opposite gender - therefore rather than deal with the issue themselves as parents, they ask her sister to take care of the child. Effectively her sister is not just a parent to her own child now, but to her sisters child also.

The three parents feel that their children are missing someone of the opposite gender.

me_right_one

RayM wrote: »

"unnatural"

"Gays are mentally ill"

Yeah, you're definitely not a homophobe...

Thats right, I'm not. I hold different opinions to you, yet I do not hate people who are gay. Yet YOU come on here with your accusations and your intolerance, shouting down anyone who disagrees. Remind me again what the definition of bigotry is?

Grayson

One eyed Jack wrote: »

No, this thread is about parenting, and you asked the question -




My friend feels that her own child is missing out due to having no father figure in their life. Her half-sister and her girlfriend are in a same sex relationship and they have a child which they don't want to be parents to right now because the childs only word is 'dada', a word which they perceive to be a parent of the opposite gender - therefore rather than deal with the issue themselves as parents, they ask her sister to take care of the child. Effectively her sister is not just a parent to her own child now, but to her sisters child also.

The three parents feel that their children are missing someone of the opposite gender.

You know some weird people. They make for interesting anecdotes but not for good evidence.

B0jangles

Apparently the scientific consensus is that kids do just as well with parents who are a same-sex couple as they do with an opposite-sex couple - 75/79 studies came to that conclusion:

http://whatweknow.law.columbia.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-wellbeing-of-children-with-gay-or-lesbian-parents/

And on single-parent families; if I remember correctly it has been established that most of the time it is family income that has the biggest efffect of the well-being of the children, nothing to do with the lack of a role-model of one gender or the other. It is simply much harder for a single parent to earn as much as a 2-parent family.

Grayson

B0jangles wrote: »

Apparently the scientific consensus is that kids do just as well with parents who are a same-sex couple as they do with an opposite-sex couple - 75/79 studies came to that conclusion:

http://whatweknow.law.columbia.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-wellbeing-of-children-with-gay-or-lesbian-parents/

And on single-parent families; if I remember correctly it has been established that most of the time it is family income that has the biggest efffect of the well-being of the children, nothing to do with the lack of a role-model of one gender or the other. It is simply much harder for as single parent to earn as much as a 2-parent family.

Thanks for bothering to google what I couldn't be bothered googling.

eviltwin

MadDog76 wrote: »

Even better to have two good Parents than just one ..........

Absolutely in an ideal world every child would be wanted and every parent would have the skills to raise a happy, well adjusted child but that's sadly not the case.

RayM

me_right_one wrote: »

Thats right, I'm not. I hold different opinions to you, yet I do not hate people who are gay. Yet YOU come on here with your accusations and your intolerance, shouting down anyone who disagrees. Remind me again what the definition of bigotry is?

You're not fooling anyone.

B0jangles

Oh yeah, and apparently kids raised by lesbian couples do the best of all!

The authors found that children raised by lesbian mothers — whether the mother was partnered or single — scored very similarly to children raised by heterosexual parents on measures of development and social behavior. These findings were expected, the authors said; however, they were surprised to discover that children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.

http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1994480,00.html

Irish Guitarist

My parents had me in their early forties. My father always seemed like an old fogey to me. He wasn't a bad father or anything but he never played with me or really taught me anything.

I got a bike when I was about eight and I was just expected to go out and learn to cycle. It never occurred to my father to teach me or to drive me somewhere quiet where I could learn how to cycle it. I would go to the car park around the corner and try to teach myself. It wasn't really suitable for learning to cycle as there were too many people around. I ended up giving up. My fathers solution to this was to tell me he was selling my bike. I think this was his way of trying to get me to use the bike again. It never even entered his head to actually encourage or help me.

I also couldn't talk to him about anything. He made it clear he had no time for talking to children.

He was my father and I loved him but him being male didn't make it any easier for me to relate to him.

GerryDerpy

GerryDerpy wrote: »

Every fatherless child I know has turned out damaged.

maybe you need to get out more.....
meet some more people....

me_right_one

RayM wrote: »

You're not fooling anyone.

Good, because I'm not trying to. If you cant listen to other peoples point of view without resorting to name-calling and bigotry, then you're only fooling yourself.

DontThankMe

Yes just like every child should have Jesus in their lives by being baptised doing their communion and conformation.

MadDog76

MadDog76 wrote: »

The lack of a Father, or Mother, can (and in the majority of cases, will) have long-term negative impacts on a child ......... there are, of course, exceptions to the rule but in general a child benefits greatly from the ideal scenario of a loving caring Mother and Father ......... again, in my opinion.

you can't just make sweeping statements like you did above and then say 'In my opinion'
why would you think exactly that the lack of a parent will have negative long term impact on a child. Actual reasons, not just because you think it