Some advice would be great!

LimerickSports

hey guys thanks for the replys, unfortunetly i typed out a long reply but it didnt send because my internet connection cut off

so i will have to keep this one shorter.. the replys gave me alot to think about
i want to career guidance counsellor feeling depressed/anxious and with low self esteem i couldnt make eye contact with him and felt uncomftorable talking to him, but i went for a job interview and was more confident able to make eye contact and feel comftorable enough to answer questions, the point is i tend to have alot of ups and downs, but i know in social care i cant afford to have these downs as its not fair on the people id have to care for.

and loveinapril i agree, i would like to take a year out but i need to be unemployed for a year in order to get the btea and grant covered and i will go crazy been unemployed for a year with nothing to do. i know i could do voluntary work in this time but im not sure that will keep me busy enough. the college offers or coming out in early july so i hope to make my mind up by then.

LimerickSports

i agree that some people are natural social care workers. i was having coffee with a few people in town today, and i guy with schitzopherinia joined us, he was on alot of medication that made him tired. but the lads i was with were comftorable chatting to him and making small talk about movies etc, and these people werent even social care workers but just people with better communication skills than me and that stuff comes naturally to them.

LimerickSports

i have seen some job offers for people with a level 5 in brothers of charity, the only thing is having a car is a requirment and i dont have a car at the moment, so one option would be working a non social care related job for a while, buying a car and maybe in the future be able to use my level 5 social care cert to gain employment in social care that is another option.

LimerickSports

thanks for the reply mousetail!

Ursus Horribilis

When you're under pressure to make a decision, that can be the time when you make terrible choices. You are coming across here as someone who is panicking and for some reason has social care on the brain. Let's say you'd decided you wanted to be a concert pianist instead. What you're telling us here is the equivalent of "I struggle to play sheet music and I get really nervous in front of crowds. But I play Chopsticks really well in the living room at home". Maybe the career advisor wasn't the best but I don't think you should throw out all the advice he gave you, just because he told you things you don't want to hear. I certainly am uneasy with the thoughts of someone who can't even look another person in the eye being involved in this line of work. How would you cope if an angry relative came up to you and screamed in your face? If you have to make tough decisions which will involve making people cry? If a person in your care assaults you or is really difficult? Going by the suggestions made to you, you seem to be more suited towards work which doesn't involve direct contact with people.

LimerickSports

ursus your comments so far have been taken on board, but i feel you are been a bit harsh to presume i shouldnt have direct contact with people, you dont know well enough to presume something like that. i can actually be a sociable person, and enjoy been with people, ive worked in customer service and other jobs dealing with people, i said at the time i saw the guidance counsellor i was overcome with anxiety and depression maybe you have never felt that way but at times when you feel like that its hard to maintain eye contact. but i do not always feel depressed and anxious sometimes things can overwhelm me at times but im well able to communicate with people. now dealing with challenging behaviour can be a difficult situation but these things are discussed in college and there is training to deal with it. as i stated earlier i worked with people with disabilties and people from a psychiatric ward and eldery people in a gym without any problems at all.

LimerickSports

and i dont have social care on the brain for "some reason". ive been studying it for the last 2 years and have work experience in the area. also from my own personal life ive been in recovery institutions and support groups, so i can relate to vulnerable people in society and would like to help them reach their full potential. its just a case of asking myself "am i able for it?" or will it be to much for me while i still have my own personal issues, and not perfect social skills, i do appreciate your feedback but i cant agree with it fully

LimerickSports

i apoligise for been defensive, i know you mean well, and i agree been around people too much can drain me at times. im starting to take this on board its just difficult to accept because ive done social care for 2 years, but from thinking about it lately im begining to change my mind. the guidance counsellor told me to be honest with myself in relation to social care, i guess he was trying to say i was fooling myself into it been for me. and today when i told someone i wanted to work with homeless he begin to laugh, im not sure why but i asked him and he just said i should go for it. but the way he laughed made me think that he thought i would not be good at it or something. ive been watching videos on youtube of social carers and they seem to be very content with brilliant social care skills and are passionate about their job. i understand its a serious job and not to get into without passion and the capacity to do it, as loveinapril said its not fair on the service users if their carer as anxious or unsure how to communicate with them. when i visit my gran aunt i find it hard to talk to her, when i try talk to her she cant hear me, i guess because i talk too quietly, she has mild dementia and i dont know how to talk to her when she says things that confuse me or i cant understand her, i only visit her with my mum, id find it hard to talk to her on my own, even though i really care about her and she really likes me alot too, it makes me realise what would i do with a complete stranger who didnt like me, i dont know how id act, my mother is a very good carer to my gran aunt she gets her out of bed, brings her to the toilet, and sometimes even washes her, which is suprising because she has paid carers to do that, but when they are not there my mum doesnt mind doing it, i know for a fact i would not be able to do that, while remaining calm and act like its a "normal thing" i know some people dont mind at all, ive never done it before but the thought scares me. i can get annoyed at my gran aunt at times when she asks my mum what i said, she doesnt seem to hear me at times, and i know you need a sense of humour to work in social care, and i cant join in to well with the jokes my gran aunt makes about marrying a rich man, im alot more dry and serious than my mother who can be bubbly, maybe its not for me. i thought id be more suited to homeless sector, but i dont know how id cope with residents who are drunk and who try to bully me and push my buttons, im not very assertive, im an idealist though and i believe this wont happen as they will respect me as a person, but i know i could just be overly optimistic. i guess the only way is to get some experience doing a 3 to 4 year degree could be a bad decision, but ive no back up plan so im afraid of completly disregarding the option, i got offered a job in shaws and im afraid to take it because i will lose my chance of going to college.... aah life decisions are not easy.. i have to go to social welfare tommorow morning to find out can i stay on xs and os and get btea and college fees paid for, and then i have to go my work induction at 10 oclock to let them know if i want the job or not. its crazy pressure, i dont know why i applied for the job in the first place, but my guidance counsellor suggested handing out cvs to get practice with interviews, so i did that, and ended up getting the job. this is another reason im unsure about this guidance counsellor. but now i have the job and need to decide, i will let ye guys know how it goes tommoroq

Rachiee

Lots of people go to college without btea if you worked in Shaw's full time for a few years you could save up your fees for college and then work part time when you are in college for living money. The couple of years in Shaw's will probably help build your confidence anyway.
There is also a possibility that youll love it and you can still do voluntary work in social care on the days you are off or evenings. Don't rule out a job for your chance to go to college there is more than one way to skin a cat and besides the reason for college is to get a job, you already have you that might be perfectly suited to you. Sit down and make a list of pros and cons taking the job Vs not.

Tigger99

I think you getting the shaws job is the best thing that could have happened to you. Dealing with customers day in day out will teach you a lot about yourself and about what to do when you have to deal with a difficult customer.

I've worked in retail before my current job and it thought me a great deal.

From your posts I think you are in no way ready to work in any social care setting and that it could be very damaging for both you and clients.

Also people will try to push your buttons in all walks of life whether in a homeless shelter or an office job. Thinking that they won't because they should respect you as a person is at best naive and at worst will leave you feeling more anxious when it does happen.

witchgirl26

OP I read through this and the one thing that stuck out for me was that, while you might be grand in normal social settings despite anxiety etc, you struggle with some aspects when things aren't going well. Your gran aunt needing care for example. I know a couple of social workers and to say it's a job that stretches their anxiety and mental health would be a complete understatement. One particular individual who would have never experienced anxiety or depression ended up leaving for a different role as she found it just too much after 4 years in it. I would think that maybe the guidance counsellor was on to something with that. To a certain extent you need to be pretty ok with your own mental health to deal with others issues day in, day out.

Ultimately you need to ask yourself what is it you like to do? Exclude what you've spent time studying but if you could pick a job for yourself, what would it be? I always knew I wanted to do accounting and work in that general area so I know I'm lucky that I had that clarity. However friends of mine really had to think and the ones that are doing well are the ones who followed what they enjoy doing as opposed to what they had studied necessarily.

LimerickSports

Thanks tigger very good advice, sadly at the moment I'd have to agree working in a social care setting would most likely be harmful to me and others I work with. I just finished my induction today , I felt completely exhausted going through the induction and really had to force myself to think and try and feel positive thoughts, I think the tiredness is from not sleeping well last night but also I think the medication lexapro which I'm taking is causing this , its a horrible feeling, the lexapro seems to numb emotions so at the moment Its like I don't care about anything I'm not happy sad angry nothing just feeling numbed, which Is something i need to discuss and think about whether I should stay on them, because been numbed emotionally while working people is not good, anyway that is another topic so sorry about ranting about it, I think your right the job in shaws could be very good for me, If I go in well rested and do my best talking to other staff and customers, I'll be honest I'm don't think I will love the job, but feel it will help me to grow and I'm lucky to have a job so I'm def won't complain. I'll have to leave social care alone for a while, or maybe forever, and hope I'll find something that I really like doing , thanks for the reply, also from reading previous comments i agree about the social thing, there was other girls doing induction as well who were much more social bubbly and smiley , which made me feel the odd one one out. When I was in college I was around good people and I was actually happy, I know a lot of people would actually consider me sociable , as I was more of a talker in college as I was with real friends , anyway I hope to be able to feel that way again I really do, I'm going to go to social welfare now to tell them about my job and get info about xs and os etc

LimerickSports

everything seems okay with the xs and os anyway, can still apply for btea and susi. thanks

Ursus Horribilis

LimerickSports wrote: »

T... I'll be honest I'm don't think I will love the job, but feel it will help me to grow and I'm lucky to have a job so I'm def won't complain. I'll have to leave social care alone for a while, or maybe forever, and hope I'll find something that I really like doing

I think this is a good attitude to have. It doesn't really matter if that job in Shaws isn't what you see yourself doing long term. All going well, you'll be happy enough in the job and it'll give you the space to sort your depression/anxiety. I also believe that no matter what job you have, you will learn invaluable skills that will stand to you elsewhere. Be it dealing with difficult customers, making decisions, working as part of a team, dealing with office politics or coping with unexpected things that crop up in most jobs. I can only speak for myself here but the older I got and the more work experience I gained, the more I learned about myself. When I came out of college at 21 I hadn't got a clue what I wanted to do. Even for a few years after I started working I didn't really. But over time, though getting older and by gaining work experience, I got to know a lot more about myself. I stumbled into my current job by accident and I love it. But if I had to change careers again in the morning, I wouldn't feel anywhere nearly as terrorised by it as I would have done at 25.

Trying to pick a career is a hard thing to do at any age. I don't know what the statistics are but there are quite a lot of people out there who've ended up working in jobs that bear little relation to what they studied at college. In that sense, waiting until you're that bit older is no bad thing. It's better to do a degree in something you're genuinely interested in than to go through the motions, get the piece of paper and then realise it has all been a horrible mistake.

Anyway, bet of luck in your new job

LimerickSports

the job will be soul destroying, and i will never amount to anything now, my dream of getting a degree in social care has been shattered thanks alot guys

LimerickSports

I suppose things could always be worse , i've got to keep pushing forward anyway, and never quit. i will be starting a new job, and who knows what else the future holds.

LimerickSports

i will take yere advice with a pinch of salt, as you guys dont know me, it as insult to say that i would not be able to work in social care, and that i should not work with people etc, i know i am well able and i dont think people should say to someone that they cant do something

Ursus Horribilis

If you're as thin skinned as this and prone to bouts of negativity, as displayed in yesterday's post, do you think you could hack a career in social care?

LimerickSports

ursus u seem like a very negative person, and i know social care def wouldnt be for you, because you only know how to put people down, while social care is about uplifting people. so maybe you dont have the social skills, and maybe you are unhappy, so why dont you try put someone else down

LimerickSports

im not listening to your bull**** anymore about saying i shouldnt work with people, you dont even know me.. and if this is the way you like to talk to people, it says alot of what type of person you are.

Ursus Horribilis

Jumping to conclusions much?

Listen, I'm not going to engage with you any further but you might want to reflect on why you're going bananas at such innocuous comments. You're clearly in a fragile, vulnerable place and it's therapists you need to be taking to. Not random strangers on an Internet message board.

LimerickSports

im not in a state, im just telling the truth, you are a horrible person, who enjoys attacking someone when their down, but i guess this is the internet, and you wouldnt say that to my face. so you can keep your asumptions and judgements about me to yourself. i guess your the type of person that puts down others to make themselves feel better

Tokyo

Mod:

the sniping ends here. LimerickSports - you may not like the advice given to you here, but responses like the above will not be tolerated. Thread closed, and please don't post here again unless you are willing to engage more constructively and with more civility.